Fill-In-Friday May 9, 2008
So this is the deal. We’re all gonna write a story together. Only we each write a small bit at a time. One after the other. I will start the story out with an incomplete sentence and you follow to add to the story…and so on and so on. Got it? Great!!! OH - don’t forget to REFRESH the page before you submit…just in case someone else has already added to the statement you were working with. Clear? Sure it is! Alright…HAVE FUN!!!!
Here we go…
“Ma’am! Ma’am! You dropped this!” She turned to see what it was and….
…to her surprise she recognized a face from the past. It was her ninth grade teacher handing her the wallet that had fallen from her purse. She didn’t talk much about her high school days because…
she knew that there were things best left unsaid because
“she” was a “he” back then.
And “she’s” being “he’s” back in 1979 would have made the Bee Gee’s…
run for their lives.
But since she wasn’t fond of any of the Bee Gee’s 3-part harmonies - she didn’t care if they ran - and she couldn’t help staring at old Mrs. Johnson who now looked like…
a California raisin. What struck her most was
that Mrs. Johnson was even humming the old Motown hit…
Sugar Pie Bloggin BUNS
and tentacles were growing out of her head.
She wondered if, in her current condition, old Mrs. Johnson would remember that…
she once fell asleep in the girls bathroom, which of course meant that
She woke up with the impression of the toilet seat on her face even though she swore she was sitting down
but since old Mrs. Johnson had seemed completely unaware of what students did back in the day, it was a safe assumption that…
she had forgotten all about Karaoke night at the Holiday Inn when
all the teachers got busted along with most of the staff at the holiday in for
table top dancing.
and over-indulging in
(shoot…mandy, you took my line!! Oh well..gotta be quicker in this game!)
pickles and root beer!
The pickles weren’t Kosher and the root beer had no root.
But it did have some good barley and hops.
which made them puke all over
the snazzy leather pants Mr. Johnson…
found the tentacles in…
He swore up and down he had no idea how they got there, but everyone knows you can’t…
Keep a monkey in the bathroom without…
having to clean poo off the walls. i’m just sayin
[DANG IT TAM!!!]
Walking away, she thought to herself
“what’s that smell?”
She looked down and for a brief, horrifying moment, thought she saw a tentacle on her…
monkey
but it was just
a ‘filament’ of her imagination.
From out of nowhere…..
Barry Gibb walked in and she said…
” I TOLD YOU TO LEAVE THAT MONKEY ALONE!”
then all of a sudden they broke out in 3 part harmony, singing
“Monkey Love - Monkey Love - Won’t you let me be! Beee-eeee-eeee!”
Then Simon Cowell walked in and said….
Great googlie mooglies! You people should…
be on my new tv show…
Paula will play the part of the monkey and you three will…
sing and dance with Dora and Boots!
We shall call it ” The Gibbs Evolution Hour”
and you shall all wear swim suits that show your toity marks because…
Tam likes to stare at toity marked tooshies
which leads us back to old Mrs. Johnson…..
who is extremely familiar with toity marks.
But so is someone else besides Mrs. Johnson and Tam…
suspense is killing me who is it?
the infamous photographer Hoity Toity who has published a coffee table book of famous toity marks and whose next book will be a collection of…..
photographs of fingers that have letters permanantly ingrained onto them from their keyboards because they were all addicted to blogging. This will also include B.A. therapy, which consists of
making you go outdoors for long walks and engaging in conversation with people in the flesh!
OH THE HORROR!!!!!!
Ouch! Deadgum sunlight!
Meanwhile, Barry G., whose closet blogging addiction was at its zenith, tried to scuttle out of the room but was stopped by the monkey who said…
I think I have Saturday Night Fever and need to boogie down with John Travolta at the disco
to which Barry G. replied
“You got to know when to hold ‘em, know when to fold ‘em…”
(I’m astonished at how much sense this story is making!! I LOVE it!!!)
“Know when to walk away and know when to”…..
RUN!!!! Here’s comes a monkey in a bikini wanting to wax me!!!
But the monkey ran smack into Mrs. Johnson and decided
wax her instead.
The monkey gave her the choice..where shall I wax?
Mrs. Johnson replied “Please wax my unsightly chest hair before Barry G. see’s it!”
“What the! That was NOT my chest!!!!”
That’s my bum!!!
Like a flash, one of Mrs. Johnson’s tentacles whipped around the monkey’s…
medulla oblongata
trapped in the tentacles Barry Gibb then decided to
and throttled the poor monkey until he resembled
ooops….
throttle the poor monkey until he resembled
a limp noodle, which reminded Barry that he…
he forgot to eat his chow mein at lunch!
Barry was completely bummed out that he forgot to eat his chow mein and started singing in a note that only far away dogs could hear.
(hahahahahaha!!!!)
Sadly enough those dogs…
are being held captive by the Monkey and Mr. Johnson!
There’s only one thing we can do. Take everyone to the First Annual Toity Convention in Las Vegas!
Now?? I don’t have my clean underoos on and mom alwaystold me to have
clean undies and extra blow pops on hand just in case…
In case someone drops the big W question at the Eternal Wedding bliss Chapel.. who will it be?
things blow
(too fast for me!)
(I’m sorry papa)
out of hand here quickly. OOO - maybe him? He looks like he could be a great husband. Wait. He….
Has a hairy back! That can’t be …
cousin Earl, can it???
OOooh… he was the cousin who
brought mistletoe to all the family Reunions was he?
and gave a whole new meaning to “kissing cousins”
Yep! That’s him. Here he…
jumps on stage, grabs the microphone and starts to
girate to jailhouse rock
never expecting HER to show up…
but she does and gasps
so hard that she begins to hyperventilate
at the site of
a hairy chested monkey with tentacles coming out
we always knew cousin Earl was hiding something.
[[let's got poeple...alece needs some serious puppy love!! she's over 100 comments behind hte anti-blogger!!]]]
Of course, his psychologist (oddly named Doctor Foot) new about this all along. You see…
He had been diagnosed with Attention Seeker Syndrome better known as A.S.S.
but he never let that stop him from
Feeling pretty fly for a white guy
even though he had no idea how to do that being a white guy and all
Suffering from A.S.S. they decided thy needed to get to the bottom of it
so at the “crack” of dawn they…
lets get that problem behind him they shouted
and they began the hairy undertaking
[[ let's all go here http://gritandglory.com/2008/05/05/puppy-love/#comment-4344 for a little bit and help Alece beat her husband in the comment was so she can win and get her a new puppy!!!]]
[but please come back here too! You all have been awesome today! This is a Hysterical Story!]
working cheek to cheek to get the task done
they worked into the wee hours only to find that
They named their first puppy ‘cheeky spotty’ in result of this (flash forward)
(huh?)
strange phenomenon going on over at “Grit & Glory.” So then Tam said,
Never mind — I’m so tired and losing it. The puppy thing was throwing me off!
( i am officially confused now - and laughing hysterically!! is it just me???)
But at least Alece gets her puppy! So maybe that is worth getting thrown off!” So TheNorEaster said,
he is very sorry for mutilating Tams Family Tree and he will do anything to make up for it. So Tam decided that…
she would make him a fluffernutter sandwich
(wait HE is suppose to be making up with ME. why am I making HIM a sandwich????)
(
)
evil.
evilevilevil!
she would make him a fluffernutter sandwich, but would dangle it on a string out in front of him while he does a silly “I’m sorry dance” and begs for his sandwich…..and Tam, being how she is tells him…
THIS will do bad things to your insides, and you will be in the bathroom MUCh longer than you would like, because
i have mixed chocolate exlax in this pretty lil sandwich. That’s right! How ya feelin now Massacre Man!?
He sank to his knees in total submission
and with that, TheNorEaster grabs his pen and paper, and settles in for a long haul in the potty room, working on his new essay titled “an ax, fluff, and a bloggers nightmare” Which of course the nightmare being stuck in a bathroom unable to blog. Oh the horror! In the meantime, Tam sneaks back over to
[OH how I love genuinely love you all!!! you brighten my heart and day every day! I am off to watch a movie with my family. Have fun!!! And Let the Nor really have it
]
watch a movie with her family, who occasionally likes to see her in person as opposed to in blog world! Have a good night all!
NE ended up having “the dia” for 15.9 days straight, until finally he…
decided he didn’t have a prayer without
his wonderful dog, Sam. Whom he rode off with into the sunset to escape further punishment from Tam and Her Blog-Gang.
And they all lived happily ever after!
***THE END***
shewww…………..
[good glory, girlfriend...this was nothing short of amazing - suspense, romance, and the god forbid demise of blogging...the best stinkin 3 am read for sure!!!]
***THE END***
Until Sniper Tam pegged NorEaster in the back of the head with a cream pie from 500 yards. He fell off his horse and did not get up again. So Tam took Sam home with her and THEN they all lived happily ever after!
my meds must be wearing off!
No - wait it’s just another frantic Friday! (as opposed to a manic Monday or Whatever Wednesday)
<B