When Insults Had Class

“He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.”

– Winston Churchill

“I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure.”

– Clarence Darrow

“He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary.”

– William Faulkner (about Ernest Hemingway)

“I’ve had a perfectly wonderful evening–but, this wasn’t it.”

– Groucho Marx

“I didn’t attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.”

– Mark Twain

“He has no enemies, but he is intensely disliked by his friends.”

– Oscar Wilde

“I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend…. if you have one.”

– George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill

… Churchill’s response: “Cannot possibly attend first night, will attend second, if there is one.”

“I feel so miserable without you; it’s almost like having you here.”

– Stephen Bishop

“He is a self-made man who worships his creator.”

– John Bright

“I’ve just learned about his illness. Let’s hope it’s nothing trivial.”

– Irvin S. Cobb

“He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others.”

– Samuel Johnson

“He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up.”

– Paul Keating

“He has delusions of adequacy.”

– Walter Kerr

“Why do you sit there looking like an envelope without an address on it?”

– Mark Twain

“His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.”

– Mae West

Lady Astor once remarked to Winston Churchill at a Dinner Party,

“Winston, if you were my husband, I would poison your coffee!”

Winston replied, “Madam, if I were your husband,

I would drink it!”