Random. And sorry for the pics. May 14, 2008

I’m convinced my dog senses spirits in the unseen world. He’ll be sleeping like a lil puppy and suddenly sit up and look around him frantically like there’s something hovering over him. creeeeepeeee. That or he’s possessed!

I have to eat my frosted mini wheats frosted side down. One at a time. This is the only way. And they have to have had been immersed entirely in the milk. But not so long that they become soggy. It’s a laborious process.

If I were on the “Horrific jobs to do while in Hell” committee I would give all new arrivals a wet sponge, send them over to a kitchen counter that has cooked rice and shredded cheese all over it, and make them try to wipe it up with said sponge. Im-friggin-possible!!!!

I don’t like Potlucks. I am highly uncomfortable with eating strangers food. If I ever get the honor to visit you…don’t be offended if I drill you on kitchen hygiene before I dine in your home.

This is my favorite thing to do in PhotoBooth. It just cracks me up! Look at Kota! He’s astounded! Yes. I am your Mother.

I see a Night Mare in your future!

A Home For MTTV May 8, 2008

Reader: OH. I just love those two crazy girls from MTTV!

Crazy girls from MTTV: They love us. They really love us!

Reader: Oh. How I wish I could watch their videos whenever I wanted.

Crazy girls from MTTV: They love us. They really love us!

Reader: OH I wish those crazy girls were smart enough to have their own MTTV Blog for my viewing pleasure.

Crazy girls from MTTV:

So here it is…What you all 3 have been asking for.

Right?

Your very own MTTV BLOG

Intoducing….

MTTV Video Blog

Random. I mean. Really Random. May 6, 2008

Last week I drove an extra 15 minutes out of my way on the journey home with my son. Kota had stayed home from school but wanted to drive out to pick up some work so he didn’t fall behind. On our way back he asked if he could show me the route his Bus takes. Sure. Why not. And I get to spend this time with my guy! He pointed out where his crush lived. His face lit up! We stopped in front of her house and just stared at it for a while. I think I could hear his heart beating! I love young “love”!

Tell me. Are you one of those people who leaves cupboards and drawers open? Why? WHY?!! You’re already there! You just opened it with your hand. Stay for a fraction second longer and close it too! Please. Really.

Lots of things creep me out. Swaying swings on an empty playground. Men with mustaches, cut off jean shorts who drive Trans-Ams or Corvettes. But one shoe in the middle of the road really creeps me! Right now on the highway just a few blocks from me is a mans boot. Laying there. In the middle of the road. Does he not realize it’s missing? Is there a foot in it? 

I hate really don’t like cutting hair. I cut my families hair. I’m good with that. It saves us money. I’m really good with that! But it never, ever fails…one of the 1/4″ stray hairs will always find it’s way into my bra. And ladies. You KNOW what that feels like. A mini dagger. Poking you all day! And I’m a digger. I’ll go in after it. Anywhere! I’ve been known for causing double takes for this…inchurchfatherpleaseforgiveme

Summer is coming ladies. I have a tip for you. When you’re lounging around poolside in your suit and have to take a potty break…one thing here. If it’s a long break, just remember that you might have a red toity impression on the backs of your legs. So when you return to strut your stuff at the pool - all will know exactly where you’ve just been

I’m just sayin’

She’s Killin’ Me! April 24, 2008

Kassidi turned 14 this last Friday. Hard to believe!

She just walked into my room and announced…

“In 358 days I will be 15!”

Somebody make it stop!!!

Needs - I haz them April 23, 2008

When I don’t get enough sleep my body starts sending me signals. It slows down. My memory loses its sharpness. My endurance fades quickly. I’ll get irritable. Yes. I get irritable.

When I do not eat well or enough. My body again sends me signals. Mostly the same ones.

When I don’t give my body what it needs it responds poorly.

When I am not in His Word and spending time communing with Him - my Spirit responds accordingly. My mind and thoughts react and respond.

Spending time with God is just as crucial as eating and sleeping to me. Without it - I do not function well. It’s not good for the mind, body and spirit.

Just a morning thought I wanted to throw out there…

I have issues. no. really. April 21, 2008

I think people are watching me.

When I go to Hotels I am convinced there are cameras somewhere in the room. One time while I was showering in a Hotel I noticed a hole in the top corner of the wall. It freaked me out! So I crammed a bunch of soggy wet toilet paper in the hole and continued my shower…alone.

The new house we live in was completely remodeled 9 months ago. One day I’m in my bathroom, doing what people do in the bathroom (sorry Mandy and Kristiapplesauce), when I noticed something on the wall in front of me. Right next to the vanity mirror.

A hole.

WHAT!!!

I’ve been sitting here this whole time and there is a camera in that hole watching me?!?! EEEWWWW!!!!!

So I pack it up and promptly remedy the situation!

Yes. I realize that whole was probably a mistake when they were hanging the mirror.

Or not

So what about you? What are your quirks?

14 Years Ago… April 17, 2008

My daughter will be 14 tomorrow. Four-Teen.

(lets out long. deep. sigh……) My heart actually starts racing when I think about it.

When did this happen?

She’ll be in High School this Fall. She reminds me daily she’ll be driving next year.

Child, weren’t you just wearing diapers? Didn’t you just lose your first tooth?

She wants to grow up so fast. I just want her to be my little girl. Forever.

But at the same time I delight in seeing the young woman she is becoming.

Kass, you’re one more day away from that little girl with pig tails and one day closer to a young woman.

Wow! Part of me weeps, even now, at that thought…while another part rejoices for you!

Every morning I symbolically place you in Gods hands. Do you know I pray for you every day?  Every day I pray for divine guidance to lead you in the way you should go, in the way that will bring most Glory to Him. I pray for your future husband. That he will adore you like your own dad adores me.

Kass, I admire you. I admire that you are so confident in who God has created you to be. Never lose that footing. Stand firm on the solid foundation He has placed you on.

I love you.

I love the way you laugh! The way your eyes smile. The way some things fly right over your head yet you laugh at it. I love to hear you play the guitar. I love to hear you sing. I love when you read scripture and write a song about it. I love to sneak in Kids Church and watch you serve others. I love our prayer time in the car at school each morning. I love how we tell each other “I love you” at least 20 times a day!

I love everything about you Kass! You have made being a mom one of the greatest joys in my entire life!

I am so pleased with the young lady you are becoming! Thank you for being you! You are perfect!

You will always be my favorite daughter

Randomness. What’s New. April 9, 2008

Vinny and I went to a meeting Tuesday night at Kassidi’s school. We arrived 3 minutes early, late. Really, we were 3 minutes early but they were at least 10 minutes into the meeting. Wha?! So we sat in the back.

bad idea

Vinny and me in the back of the class equals disaster!

We live in Southern Oregon. Lots of farming. Blue Collar. Certain things stick out here. Like…French people. Artist types. And Valley Girls. One of the teachers addressing us sounded like, like Oh My Gosh, like, no waaayyy, like totally a Valley Girl! All Vinny had to do was turn and look at me. Let the trippindicular slang begin! He finally told me to “shhhhh” because i was being too loud. Like, whatever!

Kota was messing with Brents iPhone box. The box Brent keeps on his night stand. Still. He’s had the thing since December! We have a storage closet! Anyway, so Kota asks us, while pulling the lid off the iPhone box, “Dad, when you first opened this did it sing Hallelujah?”

Both kids stayed home sick today. One is faking. Took them to a little Mexican Restaurant near our house, enjoying some chips and salsa, playing hooky, and in walks….THE SUPERINTENDENT OF OUR SCHOOL DISTRICT! Everybody, DUCK!!! Fortunately there are several empty tables in our corner. They sat him in the one RIGHT NEXT TO US!

Has your stomach ever growled SO hard, intense and loud that it actually sounded like a fart?

Mine did this week.

In public.

Aaaawwkward.

Brent didn’t bring his laptop home last night declaring he didn’t want to spend the evening on it. Ha! Good thing for his iPhone and MY computer! Shewww - that was a close one!

We have a few bloggers coming out here in June to visit. Yes We Do. We are SO PUMPED about this!!! Just wanted to let you all know that we have a couple open dates waiting to be filled

Serious!

One of my most recent search terms…

“women in loin cloths”

FOR THE LOVE OF PETE!!!

Randomness March 31, 2008

We have a birds nest in our attic. There may possibly be 852 birds nest up there. It sounds like thousands of little chirpers up there at random times throughout the day! It’s making Duke, the poo-Flingin’ Yorkie, go more insane!

Funny too that we just moved from 2 acres on the outskirts of town and didn’t really deal much with wildlife. Now we have tweets in our attic and occasionally wake up to Ducks swimming in our pool. IN THE CITY PEOPLE!!!

I cut the crust off all my sandwiches. I really don’t like crust. Life is too short to eat something I don’t enjoy AND it saves me extra calories and carbs. I encourage all you all to ax the crust…Guilt Free!

Last week when I was sick I got a burst of energy one night and decided to wash my bed linens. So I stripped the sheets, put them in the wash, got totally wiped out by that, went back to my bed to rest. 10 minutes into rest child #1 enters, “Mom? You really should rest for at least an hour, k?” Sure honey, I’ll start over…starting now! 15 minutes later child #2 enters…”Mom! Did you know that (insert random sports fact here)” No dear, I’ll be sure to dream about that when I get BACK to sleep. Shortly after, child #3 (hubs) enters, “TAM!!! You’re suppose to be resting!” Uuuhhhhh… “You took the sheets off the bed! - REST!” Uuuhhhh,Okay???

I LOVE my man! You all KNOW that! But sometimes. Sometimes. Sometimes, he is SO embarrassing! Our family went out yesterday afternoon, it was my first outing all week, and Vinny morphed into the public nuisance we’ve all grown to tolerate. Actually it started out fairly normal. Minimal disturbances. A few bodily noises and funny faces. Then he got a package in his hands. A bag with a shoe box in it. Shoe box was his Ammo and his son was his Target! All the way out of the Mall he swung that package around like a lasso aiming for Kota as Kota ran, ducked and rolled and screamed like a 2 yr old girl! My pace sped up rapidly as I high tailed for the Exit….Kass closely behind. Enter, Parking Lot. Open range. Lord help us all! In between Nike Box Assaults on his only son, Vinny thinks now would be a good time to sashe to our car like a woman! Making sure to use the entire aisle in between parked cars, he worked his imaginary runway! Still swinging his bag and box around being sure NOT to draw any attention to himself! You all have NO idea what it’s like!

When I think of “Pygmy Goats” it just doesn’t sound or seem right. Oxymoron perhaps? Kinda like “Almost Suddenly” and “Adult Male”.

That’s all I’ve got for now. Brain is still a bit numb from being sick. Thanks for all you well wishes and prayers friends. you rock!

One more thing…A good friend of mine asked me not too long ago if I would be interested in being a co-contributing author on a new blog she has created. Totally shocked and humbled, I accept! I will be sharing this adventure with two amazing women and am looking forward to seeing what unfolds in this new journey. You wanta know more go here. The official kick off is tomorrow, April 1st. Would love to see you there!

A Blogger Collaberation - Story #2 March 22, 2008

You all ain’t right! This is what happens when you give bloggers free reign of your blog

Rolling out of bed, I stretched my lower back and wondered if she had kicked me. My ribs were so sore and covered with pb&j. I need a shower! But the Zebra-Striped shower curtain was missing, OMGG!!!! So I figured more coffee would help. (hallucinations, hallucinations….)  I need more coffee still, thinking more clearly…still need MORE coffee. The coffee is turning colors. Green, Red Mahogany, Blue, Grey with floating hearts! Then it happens! Angels fly into my cup of coffee! Colorful angels. Angels say, “It’s Decaf!” Boring old angels :(  I brew a new pot of the strongest coffee and get my dance on, OH where is Vinny? I need some nose plugs, matchbox, 7 straws, and a piece of big red gum. Yes, I am McGyver! Finding the shower curtain in my closet I quickly put on my shower curtain cape remembering the PB&J, slipped on a banana peel left by angel drinking decaf again. I switch to those angels needing a new song. Suddenly at the window I saw a creepy figure peering in at me from an air vent on the floor. I can tell they were eyeing my Easter Lilies in the garden. Slightly paranoid I saw him…McGruber from SNL! But I’m McGyver! Now it’s a battle. I get my duct tape and a left sock, unwashed, to put around a plunger soaking in rose vinegar and I whack the eye in the vent staring at my Easter Lilies! Whacked it with the plunger ;)  I felt so violated! Said Vinny with an eye patch on due to a tragic fight with a wheel barrel attack by a rabid pigeon in Central Park. OH that McGyver-Vinny. He doesn’t remember which incident it was. Maybe the one involving the massage oil. Definitely not for the eyes or the ears and armpits! So he picked up a jar of pickled pigs feet and a bag of jelly beans. But thank goodness for that scented massage oil to boil them in a coconut shell found in the barn that was formerly a Hawaiian Hula Bra. Who will eat it??? I bet the turtle with no shell will while waxing his surfboard and listening to Ace Of Base “All that she wants is another baby…she’s gone tomorrow”. Shaking off traumatic 80’s flashback, he wrapped his head in bubble wrap and got into the convertible You know, cuz he couldn’t find his helmet and took off at lightning speeds saying “Yeah baby!” Before long he got to his destination stuck in a muddy ditch he cried, McGyver help! But it was too late. McGyver instantly appeared with red Jimmy Choos. McGyver is gay?! I said as I asked him what size those shoes were He assured me that it was only a spicy marinara sauce. Another hallucination involving a pile of laundry to fold and a chance meeting with an insane blogger with a taste for pink tights. Suddenly the phone rings. A munchkin voice is…and I hear a voice that says….can I get decaf? Sorry, we are out, he replied. He decided that maybe the Easter Bunny and Vinny could both wear pink tights. Vinny refused!!!! Because pink does not go with red shoes, but Tam said I will and posted it on her blog. This made McGyver very angry. But he loves pink and decided to join her in a game of dominoes and whispered, “hey, wanta go cow tippin’?” Again?!!! So you’ve been before? Twice with Papa, once with McGruber and 8 times with Vinny. But don’t ask about the time Vinny was displeased with lunch, or it was displeased, which made him unhappy with the purple monkey-people eater, OH MY!! Here he comes again! With that annoying little imaginary green dog. It looks like an interplanetary galaxy bound rocket ship with ears and eyes, screaming “Drop the chalupa!!!” But as I looked closer it wasn’t a chalupa after all, it was McGruber!!!! With my shower curtain as his Superman cape. It was then I realized it was pink with little green frogs and words that read, “McGruber and McGyver-Twins - Separated at birth” I love pie said Superloveman while throwing Easter flowers. No I love you more. Do you think? Very rarely, he said. Thinking is hazardous and should only be done in pajamas. Nighty nite, said the bed bug before he flossed his teeth, crawled in bed, closed his eyes, and waited for his snack. It wasn’t long before popcorn flew through the air and landed precariously on the tip of his nose as he inhaled so he blew a snot rocket! Ah -hahahaha. What a relief. Great balls of….UGH, said his mother in law as she watched it hit the wall. Clean that up! And slobbily slide across the floor toward the elephants poop and rolling into bed. We drifted off to sleep until I realized I was in bed with my mother in law, eewww, and then I awoke and realized it was all just a bad dream. Nite-Nite.