this weekend my pastor brought up the fatherless in his message… the kiddos whose dads are absent. dads can be absent for a number of reasons. they could be away at war. they can work long hours. they could have walked out on the family. they could have died. they could be right there in the home for all hours of the day and still be absent.

i started thinking about all these different scenarios and my heart broke. i know ive written about this subject before…but its because its very near to my heart. im a product of an absent father. he bailed on me. not once, but multiple times. as if once isnt enough of a crushing blow. he bailed when i was 3, again when i was 16 and once again when i was 26. he pretty much covered all the crucial ages there.

this weekend my husband, brent, demonstrated what a loving father looks like. and its funny…he didnt do anything to or for the kids – he did it for me. you see…ive been sick and laid up for a week. i twittered late saturday night that i was craving pizza and cotton candy. brent saw that tweet and immediately got on the phone with my favorite pizza place and ordered me the best pizza in town. on his way to pick up the pizza he made it his goal to find me some cotton candy. he eventually did. at the 7-11. he got the last bag!

i looked at our son and told him to take notes. i looked at my daughter and told her she better find someone like her daddy and not to settle for less. she said, “Oh i wont settle, mama!”

brent, thank you for caring enough for your children to show me love like you do.

when you hug me – you embrace your childrens hearts.

when you say kind words to me – you speak life into your children.

when you walk in the door each evening – you prove to your family you’re committed.

when you engage in conversation with your kids – you show them they are valuable.

when you discipline your children – you prove you care.

when you pray over us – you show the love of God.

to say thank you seems so…small. but, thank you. from this little girls heart who so desperately wanted her daddy’s love – thank you for giving it to your children. thank you that kass and kota will never have to wonder if their dad loves them.

thank you.

“Jesus did not come to explain away suffering or remove it. He came to fill it with His presence.” – Paul Claudel

im just letting this one soak in for a bit…

yes. i have my knee-jerk response to this quote (from my cynical side) but i really just need to soak in its truth.

i love the holidays. i truly do. i love the smells, the music, the food, gifts, giving, fellowship, the laughter, family gatherings…all the things that make this season complete.

and with holidays come traditions. and you cant have tradition without remembering. remembering past traditions.

remembering the past.

for some, taking a walk down holiday memory lane is a much awaited joy. for others, it is not. sometimes, holidays are difficult. they can take one back to a place filled with uncertainty, fear and bad memories. i know for me it can. i know some who have lost loved ones on, or around, the holidays.

so this season…remember to pray for the ones whose hearts are heavy. whose eyes fill with tears at the thought of having to put a smile on as to not show the sadness.

if you all know me at all, you know i am not a kill joy. thats not what this post is about. i am all about joy and laughter. but its important to me that we remember the ones who struggle this time of year. remember to come alongside and love on them. invite them into your homes. give them encouragement, your prayers, some time. give them love. give them hope.

i love you all. and this year – i am so very grateful for you! im thankful for the friendships that have grown here. i love this community – this family. you all make inProgress home. thank you.

today i had planned to post my first video response to one of your questions from last weeks post, but…i got sick. like, stuffy head, runny nose, sore throat, itchy eyes, sneezing my uvula out my nose holes kinda sick. not very good for video im guessing. so im postponing til next week.

i will spend wednesday resting. ok. i wont. but im telling brent i am so he’ll feel better. anyhoo…theres much to do to get ready for thanksgiving. im preparing a pretty traditional meal…turkey, potatoes, green bean casserole, cranberry sauce – yes, the jellied can kind! YUM!

but i was wondering….what is your favorite thanksgiving dish? do you have any traditions?

im thinking id like my family to write one thing theyre thankful for about each family member and we can read them during thanksgiving dinner. just gotta make sure brent keeps his rated-pg

sometimes…i get angry. sometimes…i get frustrated with people. sometimes…i wanna shake people. (i fully realize that many likely feel the same toward me and i am working to recognize the moments that might prompt these feelings in others.) and, sometimes…i wanna scream. sometimes…i know im gonna say the wrong thing. and i say it anyway.

and most of the time – i refrain. or at least try.

but ALL of the time – God is right there. He is fully aware of my flesh when i am not. He is equipping me, He has equipped me, to respond correctly, in a loving manner.

does that mean that we are to sometimes be a doormat? does responding lovingly mean that the hurtful truth cant be spoken? i dont think so.

so…wheres the line? how does one speak the hurtful truth, knowing it will offend the other, yet – still speak it anyway? and by hurtful truth i do not mean saying the truth hurtfully. but what is our responsibility in this?

all i know is “love God – love people”.  this surely includes tough love or it wouldnt be true love at all.

please chime in with your thoughts…

ok. how many award shows are necessary? if any? but the AMAs is one i tend to enjoy cuz the awards are given based on our/your votes. or…their votes. seriously, have you ever known anyone, personally, who has voted?

anyhoo…this years show…major let down. not entirely, but mostly. there were a few real great acts. and for me…thats where it ended.

as usual, because of twitter, we here on the west coast got a sneak peek at the show through some non-opinionated tweets. (read sarcasm) and i thought i’d share a few with you – just in case you missed the show. not that you missed much.

@RandDuren had to say…

Why is Janet dressed as a wookie? #AMAs

Love some Kelly Clarkson! #AMAs  (i agree. beautiful, classy and stellar performance!)

Are you freaking serious? Michael Jackson nominated for Artist of the Year? What year? #AMAs (yah. that was odd.)

J-Lo fell… at least she is well-padded. #AMAs (yes. she bounced her booty. and they edited it out by the time it got to us here on the west coast. i guess she’s too good to fall.)

Am I the only one happy that Taylor Swift is not performing? #AMAs (nope)

@inworship (my hottie-sweet-man)

We own the same chair used in Carrie Underwoods performance. @markstegall doesn’t look as good next to it.   http://gdzl.la/7hHWzh (oy)

Kids are gone. I can push play on the DVR again #AMA’s (so true. definitely not a kid friendly show. sheesh.)

I really gotta try that piano on fire thing in church next week #ladygagaisabitof (what is the fascination with this woman?)

@christypolek

Well they cut one part in Adam Lambert’s performance I thought they would. But they kept in his fall! (the whole thing shouldve been cut. it was seriously soft/hard p0rn. unbelievable.)

@jesusneedsnewpr

Wow. Look away… Shakira’s performance might give you herpes. (thanks for the heads up.)

Why is it that every video that Taylor Swift does looks like a Hanes commercial? Have you noticed that?

***********************************************************************

so this pretty much wraps up the show. if only i could get my two hours back. did you watch the AMAs? any thoughts youd like to share?

if you could produce one award show…what would it be?

i updated my visuals page with some new pics. check’em out if you wanta. ya wanta?

ohmyword – with my birthday last weekend and a very crazy week, i never got the chance to read your posts from last fridays pimp your post. i get double reading goodness this week

so go ahead and leave a link to your favorite post youve written this week, or a link to someone elses post that youd like to share with us. if you want to leave more than one link, do so in separate comments…otherwise youll get stuck in spam.

also…if you havent left a question for me, and for you , on this post then go do it now. my first video response goes up next week!

why does the universal technical institute go by UTI?? do they not have any idea what that stands for?

just heard an online pastor pray that we would lay our needs at Gods feet.

amen! i always need to recognize that my needs are in His presence and under His control. but the things i need to really lay at His feet…. are my wants.

im quite aware and confident that my needs are taken care of, that He is aware of them. i am fiercely loved and showered with perfect provision.

but honestly, its my wants that i must lay down. my wants are what so often interrupt the peace in my spirit. its my wants that often trick me into believing my needs are not being met.

when i can freely and willingly lay my wants down…i will see clearly how my needs are already dealt with and known by a loving God. and perhaps, i will talk less about me when spending time with my Father and more about Him and others.

i have an idea. i know…remarkable. shocking, perhaps. but true.

lets do a little q & a type thing. with a twist.

i was thinking you all could ask me questions, assuming youd want to, they could be about…

my family

kids

marriage

childhood

ministry

technology

friends

dreams/aspirations

anything you want, really. within reason of course

and…i will answer you in a video response.

but heres the twist if your question is chosen (by that random picker thingy) i get to ask you the very same question, if applicable, or a different one of my own and you can respond via video or in writing. both responses will be posted here in the same post. what a great way to get to know each other more, eh? i’ll let you know if your Q was chosen so that you can work up your answer too.

come on…admit it…this sounds fun, doesnt it?

doesnt it???

i thought id answer a couple questions a week. at least try to. so, if youre willing, and brave enough, to play along then start asking questions in the comment section. i’ll use this post to draw upon each time  i do a response video so eventually most, or all, the q’s will be answered.

make sense?