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Potty Break

October 15, 2007

Well, beings I’m on the subject of potty’s – I shall continue…

This weekend we went out of town for my sons soccer game. After the long car ride my bladder was quite full. Painfully full. We arrived at the Sports Park, set up our chairs, and in a flash my bladder radar sensors located the community germ bowl.

I walk in the ladies ONLY side (ahem, gender specific!) and was pleasantly surprised! It smelled good. As good as a neighborhood bowl can smell I suppose. I pick out my stall being careful not to choose the one nearest the door. That’s just awkward. The second one down had a gap down the side of the stall door so that all passer byers might survey your business…Again, awkward. Third stall…perfect! I swung open the door to find this…

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Now to all the guys out there this pic means nothing if you’re going in just to do #1. But to us ladies…it’s all whole different ball game.

First off, and this pic doesn’t show it well, the toilet is barely 13 inches off the ground. Do you know what that means? A very unsuccessful straddle! No amount of leg muscle could sustain a straddle that low to prevent the bareness from touching the seat.

Problem #2. Have you caught it yet? The seat is STAINLESS STEEL! Yeah sure, one might argue it’s a cleaner, more sterile surface. Who cares! IT WAS SOOOO COLD! O.U.C.H.Y!!!

This brings me to problem #3 – Forced to make contact with said seat…I became so cold I couldn’t…you know! Which required me to sit there even longer until my body adjusted to the frigidly cold temperature so that it could finally empty!

TMI? Possibly. It’s just a day in the life of yours truly!

Welcome to my world šŸ˜‰

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15 Comments leave one →
  1. October 15, 2007 11:25 pm

    LOL! I am with you. The only a inches off the ground toilets make everything worse, especially with long legs.

    In Cambodia one of the nicest hole in the floor toilets had tiled floor and trough from which we drew water in order to flush the hole in the ground. We had to go to the bathroom so bad. I didn’t care. I went ahead and used it. My friend Kim took forever because she just did not want to squat over the hole. She had pee phobia.

  2. October 15, 2007 11:41 pm

    I’m going to take a wild stab in the dark here (eyes closed tightly shut while reading this post šŸ˜‰ )
    and say that if more of you ladies had to ‘take aim’ from a height of over 18 inches over the bowl we fellas would not get quite so much grief for the times when things don’t go quite the way we’d like them to – ‘aim’ wise! šŸ˜‰

    As for leaving it up or down – I don’t want to ‘touch’ that one – but if it ain’t got one then it ain’t our fault. (Unless you already asked us ten times to fix the missing seat!) šŸ™‚

  3. October 16, 2007 4:20 am

    I don’t like you. at all.

  4. October 16, 2007 5:50 am

    Ha ha! You are cracking me up with this post! I feel your pain-literally!

    Blessings,
    Angela

  5. October 16, 2007 7:01 am

    kristiapplesauce – šŸ˜¦

    angela, I’m sorry…I can’t comment now – kristiapplesause has broken my heart….

  6. October 16, 2007 7:33 am

    I just think that we need to review this whole bathroom situation. Okay, so there I was…thinking about you. You know, coming to chat and blog and then this. What in the world am I supposed to do? Not only is there words and explicit detail here..but pictures. PICTURES. Oh my goodness. I need a nap.

  7. October 16, 2007 7:59 am

    i know, i know, i know! And that’s the ACTUAL toilet…kind of makes you feel that much more closer to me eh?

    Love you kristiapplesauce šŸ˜‰

  8. October 16, 2007 8:48 am

    The summer before last I took my girl scout troop to Florence. We were in a public bathroom when two of the girls had a converstation between the stalls…one of the girls yelled from the other stall…”Karol, are you sitting on the toilet.” “Yea!” “DIDN’T YOU KNOW YOU CAN GET BUTT DISEASES????!!!!”

    I had to go outside and laugh. So, I hope if your butt was touching that seat you don’t get butt diseases!

  9. Kristen permalink
    October 16, 2007 9:28 am

    In that unfortunate and gross situation, I would have lined the offending toilet with layers and layers of toilet paper, thus offering a little padding, warmth, and protection from Lord only knows what…yuck.

  10. October 16, 2007 10:01 am

    Amy, Butt Disease? Hmmm….I haven’t been feeling that well.

    Kristen, i definitely thought about that – but I had a painfully full bladder…no time for “just-in-cases”.

    I’m still haunted and thawing out!

  11. October 16, 2007 12:00 pm

    NOOOO!! Hey you have to watch the video on my blog when you have time you may have seen it. that is sick and I cant bring myself to sit on a toilet no way no how. šŸ™‚

  12. October 16, 2007 2:48 pm

    Public toilets are germ factories. No matter how nice and clean they look. Just make sure you wash and take a shower when you get home.

    I remember reading an article by some doctor who said the only you could kill all the germs on a toilet was by washing it with alcohol then lighting it. Not something I have ever tried. I might wind up with a clean toilet but I’d probably burn the house down.

    In the army barracks, at least in the 1960’s, the latrines had no stalls. I don’t know if this was true of the women’s corp.

    I spent a week in a troop transport ship. The latrines consisted of metal chairs with holes in the bottom attached on top of a long metal trough for the water, etc. to slide down. For a real challenge try using one in a rough sea.

    I don’t remember reading that Adam and Eve had bathrooms.

  13. Cheryl permalink
    October 18, 2007 12:00 am

    YOU DID NOT SIT ON THAT!!!! Sheesh! I would have done what the they do in the Singapore airport (they might not do this anymore): SQUAT! Feet up on the seat and squat. This behind shall touch no public potty, I don’t care where it is!!! EWWWW!!!

  14. October 25, 2007 10:58 pm

    chilly

  15. garmentofpraise permalink
    October 26, 2007 10:38 am

    In Western Civ. we were just talking about Rome and how they had these group toilets and everyone would gather there, like a commonplace to discuss (or should I say disgust) business (yeah, some great business)Wow, the puns are endless. I thought of you and your post and I was like oh I have to tell her! ha! They also said that you had to be careful how close fire got to them because all of the gasses would build up and yeah you can just imagine the rest. FIRE IN THE HOLE!….now that I’ve just ruined your opinion of me….
    Joy

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