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Maybe Tomorrow…

January 6, 2008

The music was playing softly in the background. I roamed one book aisle after the other. Patrons purchased their books and music while carrying on friendly conversations with the cashiers. I was browsing for nothing in particular, just looking. Then I saw it. Near the bottom of a book display rack…“The Day I Told My Daughter.” I jumped up and down! That’s MY book! Whoa! How exciting! As I walked closer I saw something very disturbing written across the bottom. I crept up. Slowly…It was the authors name.

It wasn’t mine.

Then I woke up. Tears streaming down my face. I knew the Lord was telling me something. “Tam, if you don’t write it…I’ll have someone else do it.”

I have been in “delay” mode for far too long.

This weekend at church we began a new series titled “The Stewardship of Life”. Todays topic was “How to manage your life wisely.” Doesn’t sound all that deep at first glance…unless of course you really want to go deeper and live purposefully. Or feel a conviction deep down for not attempting either. I sat somewhere between the two. Wanting so much more, not for selfish gain at all, but wanting desperately to want to do His will and knowing that, even so, I’ve not put much effort into it.

Pastor Tom said this…There is a principle of application: if you don’t use it, you’ll lose it. That’s when God brought that dream to mind this morning. But it isn’t just about the book. Although very important. It’s about everything.

I look around at our lives and ponder quite frequently, “what are we doing?” Are we doing IT? Are we utilizing everything He has given us? Spending our time and finances wisely? No. We’re not. I understand it may sound like I’m beating myself up, but I see it as taking honest stock of a position of mediocrity. I’m not OK with it anymore. Nor should I be.

I’ve written before that faith can also be defined as risk. Pastor said that this morning too. I love to fly by the seat of my pants. I love exploring. I love getting out there. I love change. But when it comes to doing, searching or knowing His will I second guess constantly. At the beginning of any attempt toward fulfilling something I know God has set before me, I will doubt. I will drag my heels, afraid of failing. Those are not thoughts from God. That is the enemy at work prowling on my weakness, my flesh. I bend just a little, and let him in.

Why have I been giving the enemy so much power over my life? Allowing him to squash dreams that God has given me? A path He has set before me? I need to make a decision today whom I will serve. The enemy, my flesh or my Savior.

Have you set something aside that you know to the bottom of your toes you need to revisit? What’s been holding you back? These aren’t questions I’m expecting you to answer here. They’re personal. However, let me say this…we need to be holding one another accountable. Accountable to our word. Lets not just be sayers – let us be doers.

Does God have you? The day we called on Him He took up permanent residence within us. He hasn’t left. Have we?

40 Comments leave one →
  1. January 6, 2008 3:13 pm

    Hey… this was a great post and very much needed. It is so true. If God calls us to do something and we don’t, we hestitate, wait, question, “what about all the what if’s?” then I think you’re right, He will have someone else do it.
    But in all of our lives there are things God sets each of us apart for. Things He specifically wants us to do, and believe me, you are right to say we have an enemy who wants nothing more than to squash whatever it is before it even gets off the ground. I remember when God laid on my heart a specific task and then I asked Him, “but what if I fail?” And then I felt I heard God in my Spirit say, “you don’t do things I call you to to be successful, you just do them because I told you to.” And after an answer like that the only thing I could say was, “okay.”

    Anyway, I hope you do write that book that He’s laid on your heart to write and many Blessings! ~Jen

  2. January 6, 2008 3:20 pm

    Hi Jen, thanks for your comment!

    you’re right…after hearing Him speak that to you, how could you refuse? That’s awesome! I heard said once that He won’t ask you to do anything without giving you the built in ability to accomplish it. I like that!

    I just feel such a heaviness right now for all of us that are missing out on His incredible journey simply because we’re afraid, lazy, or even prideful.

    The book? I WILL! Thanks for your encouragement!

    Have a fantastic week Jen!!

  3. January 6, 2008 5:30 pm

    I have thought about this many times about different things…I think the worst thing for me is coming before HIM and HIM showing me all the things HE wanted to do in and through my life, but I just didn’t pick the thing up…

    I just want everything HE has to give to me, and I want HIM to use me the way HE wants…I have had that same dream about some things I feel called to, and sadly have neglected.

    I think sometimes it is a belief issue, as far as do we believe that HE will accomplish what HE has set us out to do? When I look at that way, I am more motivated…kind of strange huh?

  4. January 6, 2008 5:38 pm

    Having hit 30 last year, I took stock of the dreams and passions that God has put in me and what I’ve been doing about it. Praise Him that I’ve buckled down and worked on some things He has for me and I still praise Him though we’ve let others slip.

    I believe that God puts dreams in us and that we need to pursue them. He has amazing things waiting for those that do. Anyway, this my first time here, but I’ll keep you accountable for your coming book, too!

  5. January 6, 2008 5:41 pm

    Sounds like we’re of the same mind on this issue. I’ve just recently set a goal to finish my manuscript, 1/2 chapter left (yay), and find a publisher. I am glad you’re moving ahead with yours too! I know it will be a wonderful blessing to many women out there.

  6. January 6, 2008 5:46 pm

    Hey Darla! GG’s back!!! Yes, a big part of it is belief. “I do believe but help me not to doubt”…scripture that’s all too real for me some days!

    Hey Coolness! I’ve seen you around blogsphere…Nice to meet you! There must be something about the 30’s that stirs up an urgency to be “right” with God and on the correct path. I’m 37 and that urgency is growing more and more each day. I just want to “complete the ministry He has given me”… I need to be, not only a better steward of this responsibility but a better example for my little ones who are watching and learning from me.

    Thanks for stopping by. And thanks for the accountability…I need it! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  7. January 6, 2008 5:54 pm

    Thanks girl! You and I were posting comments at the same time so I missed you before! So plan on me asking you LOTS of questions and for lots of advice…I’m gonna need a lot! I am so proud of you! I’m excited to see where all this leads for you too!

  8. January 6, 2008 6:08 pm

    do it girl! do it.

  9. January 6, 2008 6:20 pm

    “Have you set something aside that you know to the bottom of your toes you need to revisit?”

    Bottom of my toes? That is so insensitive to people without toes! Isn’t it bad enough that they have a hard time maintaining balance?!

    Sorry, I couldn’t resist. I am not in a very serious mood tonight, as you can tell.

  10. January 6, 2008 6:42 pm

    Yup Mandy, this is the year! It HAS to be! Thanks for the cheer ๐Ÿ™‚ Love ya!

    Total T – Shewww! thought you WERE being serious! ๐Ÿ˜‰

  11. garmentofpraise permalink
    January 6, 2008 7:13 pm

    Wow, I just left a comment to your comment on my blog (how confusing, you know what I mean, right? :)) about this. You know, when we miss something, it’s only us who loose. God will get what He wants accomplished with or without us, and if we refuse to go, we are the ones who miss out on being part of a great mission.
    Go for it Tam. I know that God is going to use your book to SAVE LIVES, and I can’t WAIT to read it one day, and maybe even see it in my library, or at my local Borders!
    Love you.

  12. January 6, 2008 7:28 pm

    Hello darling girl:) I’ve missed writing you.
    I can be completely honest here and say that God hasn’t ” had” me much over the last month.
    There were just so many questions that popped into my mind about life, that I guess it kept him out of it.
    I mean after meeting my Jehovah Witness friend, and getting into a relationship with Mark….there have been a lot of vagueness around me. I can’t quite see what I am supposed to do; whether it is right or wrong.
    I was raised to only trust Christians who believe that Jesus is the only way, but now have this unbelievable friend who has such an amazing outlook on life beyond religion, whom if not for her accountability, I would have made some serious mistakes.
    And then there is Mark, I am learning to fall in love again, and this time, its all so differnt, and its with condition, because I have so much going for me….I can’t afford to mess up.
    Anyway, so I suppose that answers your post:)
    I meet with Dwight tomorrow, and he will want to discuss going forward on my book, but honestly…I feel like I need some time with my first love before going forward with anythingelse….He is the reason I breathe!
    I love you girl, hope you guys are doing okay up there….again, who cares if it is Christmas or not…I need your address!!!

    In Christ,

  13. January 6, 2008 9:04 pm

    “There is no Try or Try NOT….there is only DO or DO NOT”

    That was said lastnight at our table when we were talking about doing summer church camp…my youngest said…I’ll try. And she got “yoda’s” response back from her dad and brother.

    When I read your post I thought the same thing “there is only Do or do not! with what you are wanting to do.


  14. January 6, 2008 9:07 pm

    Oh yea, did I tell you we will be coming your way in March. ABK gymnastics is hosting State there. So, for my son’s gymnastics we will be heading down south.

  15. jennyhope permalink
    January 6, 2008 9:45 pm

    go on my page and go to Susans blog…she had THE best post and took some exerts from one of Beth Moores old post…very good!!

  16. January 7, 2008 6:09 am

    great post. Unfortunately I’m at a time in my life when the baby prevents me from doing so much. Before I had him it seemed the other three were just getting to an age where I could set out to get some things done. I started a book (fiction) and started writing music again. Then I got pregnant and every creative thought escaped through my ears. Drat!

    God is patient and I need to be also.

  17. January 7, 2008 2:08 pm

    Really good (God) stuff to mull on and pray about. Thanks for the challenge (and I mean that in a way great way! =D)…

  18. January 7, 2008 3:45 pm

    Great book title…it captured my attention.

  19. January 7, 2008 7:37 pm

    “I know a girl who was schooled in Manhattan
    She reads dusty books and learns phrases in Latin
    She is an author, or maybe a poet
    A genius but it’s just this world doesn’t know it
    She works on her novel most every day
    If you laugh she will say

    Seize the day, seize whatever you can
    ‘Cause life slips away just like hourglass sand
    Seize the day, pray for grace from God’s hand
    Then nothing will stand in your way
    Seize the day ”

    ~by Carolyn Arends, “Seize The Day”

  20. January 7, 2008 7:51 pm

    Hi Tam, you have been writing your book every day in your blog. Of course it would be nice if you could get it published and make a few bucks. ๐Ÿ™‚

    “At the beginning of any attempt toward fulfilling something I know God has set before me, I will doubt. I will drag my heels, afraid of failing. Those are not thoughts from God. That is the enemy at work prowling on my weakness, my flesh. I bend just a little, and let him in.”

    I can relate to the fear of failing. That is something I have had to fight all my life. The enemy in my case is myself.

    When I read your blog I just don’t picture someone who is “weak”. It takes courage to overcome the terrible life you were born into and a strong character to tell the world through your blog about your abortions. Does your family think your weak? Does Pastor Tom think your weak?

    “Pastor Tom said thisโ€ฆThere is a principle of application: if you donโ€™t use it, youโ€™ll lose it. Thatโ€™s when God brought that dream to mind this morning. But it isnโ€™t just about the book. Although very important. Itโ€™s about everything.”

    Important is the key word to me. When we look back on our day did we accomplish the important task of helping provide for our family, make a positive contribution at work or help someone with a problem? I would think a believer would also ask themselves if their actions during the day were those of a good Christian. If the answers are yes then we had a great day and should feel good about ourselves.

  21. January 7, 2008 8:31 pm

    Oh man we just talked about this at church this Sunday. Chris Bell gave an awesome pair of messages about getting out of the boat and our fears. The band did the Casting Crowns song “Voice of Truth” after. So Peter steps out of the boat and walks on water. A few seconds later, he starts to sink. So maybe he’s beating himself up or others are chastising him for sinking but he’s the only one who got out of that boat. He’s the only one who got to walk on water even if his attempt wasn’t perfect. I’ve had similar feelings and fears as you describe them here. I’m so with you. Write that book girl, write that book. Its your story. You get to tell it.

  22. January 7, 2008 8:34 pm

    ED!!! So good to see you friend! I’ve been missing you! How was you Holiday? How was your time with your nieces? Those lucky girls!

    I agree…I am also my own worst enemy. The “enemy” that i speak of (which I believe most certainly exists) has as much power over me as I allow. So in essence – it falls back on me. So you and i are really in the same boat there.

    There are times when I am truly weak – those are the same times that i am the strongest too. “When I am weak – He is strong” I believe that’s where I am finally at right now. It’s a good place to be. Less of me, more of Him. For me, that’s everything.

    I think you summed it up in your last paragraph quite well. It’s about choices and the intent behind them. Are we making a positive contribution? Christ follower or not…at the end of the day have we lived for something other than ourselves?

  23. January 7, 2008 9:10 pm

    I had a great time with my nieces. I also must admit I am very happy to be back in my quiet condo. I think one consequence of being around children was I caught a cold. This is the first time I have been sick since I retired eight years ago.

    I did miss reading your blog everyday. I expect to hibernate for the rest of the winter ๐Ÿ™‚ and can hopefully keep up with all the blogs I read.

  24. January 7, 2008 10:05 pm

    Tam, I loved this post! I loved Tom’s message and the thing that was really convicting for me is that I often won’t step out or won’t give something my all for God because I’m afraid of disappointing God. Tom mentioned that and it hit me right in the forehead! God is glorified in my weakness and when I am most satisfied in him, and yet I let my own fears and FLESH hold me back from all God wants to use me for. Oooh, Satan is so sneaky with how he uses our weaknesses to keep us from God’s blessings! Happy New Year!

  25. January 8, 2008 7:32 am

    I enjoyed your post so much. We all need to be encouraged to move forward as Satan wants to hold us back and do nothing.

    P.S. – I have really enjoyed reading your blog.

    Debbie aka The Real World Martha(S)

  26. January 8, 2008 8:31 am

    Thinking about you! Hope that you are well. Missing some Tam bunny trails..but hope the silence means that you are writing! Love you my sister and my friend!

  27. January 8, 2008 8:33 am

    OMG!!! ED is back!! Ed missed you!!! please don’t be a stranger as you have just let us know you have lots of time on your hands! ๐Ÿ™‚

  28. January 8, 2008 9:53 am

    Ok, I thought of you when I read this. If you don’t already read her, I thought I’d give you this link.
    She might really enjoy your project and I thought I’d pass along your site to her — is that okay?

  29. January 8, 2008 10:14 am

    Kelly, what service did you go to this weekend? I was at the 11 and I was blown away by the response of the people. I turned to Brent and said we, the church, have been hungering for this. I felt the passion and energy of everyone. It was truly incredible!

    Thanks RWM! I enjoy yours as well! Don’t ya just get tired of giving Satan a foothold? The only area around my feet he should be is under them!

    I’m working on some Darla ๐Ÿ˜€ You’re so funny!

    Blessed1 – wow! What a great post that was. Those stats are breath taking! Thank you, thank you for passing that along. I’m looking forward to connecting with her! You are so thoughtful!

  30. January 8, 2008 12:43 pm

    Great post. I’ve been pondering some of the same issues the past few days; I LOVE how God is using my break from school to help me step back and look at the big picture of what this life is all about and how I’m spending each day, each moment. May He guide and inspire you as you write your book and carry out the rest of His purposes for you!

  31. January 8, 2008 4:18 pm

    Tam, I hear you.

    Everyday I wake up and say. This is the day, I will serve the Lord, with my eyes, hands, feet heart, whole. But something always happens and tracks me away from my purpose.
    I go back and forth with myself and my faith. Is it big enough? strong enough? Am I really living purposely, and is never enough.
    I guess is because we are seeing it with flesh eyes, rather than thru Jesus eyes.
    And is really good to sometimes rock your boat when it comes to questioning your daily living. It kind of takes you back to the beginning and say Ok, God help me do YOUR WAY.
    Great reflective post. Keep them coming.

  32. January 9, 2008 5:50 am

    Girl, great post. I can totally relate. I have a book I am working on too and I was walking around the book store and I saw a title that was the same except two words. No dream. My heart just fell. But I feel like God is going to use it to help me move forward with it. This just happened so of course I bought it and am going to see what God wants differently with mine. Anyway, great post and stewardship is so important!

  33. Jason permalink
    January 9, 2008 6:14 am

    “Why have I been giving the enemy so much power over my life? Allowing him to squash dreams that God has given me?”

    You ask very difficult questions. Thanks.

    I must have taught through the details of Matthew 14:22-33 a dozen times, but when the wind and the rain show up in my own life, I promptly fill my drawers and start to drown. It could be disheartening, and to some it is, but God, in his limitless grace, reminds me that dependence of any sort brings him glory. Even if it is after the fact (and sometimes, especially because it is after the fact.)

    2 Corinthians 1:9 …we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead…

  34. January 9, 2008 8:59 am

    Good post. I deal with procrastination. Not good for me. You can visit as I put up a post about it this am and then pop over here and read this. Hmmm! I wonder if it would sink in as if He knocked it into me?
    Blessings in Christ–

  35. Brandy permalink
    January 9, 2008 1:39 pm

    Hey Tam, thought of you today when I was browsing and came upon this site.

    I think your blog would be great to add to it! ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€

    Also check this one out:

    ๐Ÿ˜‰ Bran

  36. convincedyet permalink
    January 9, 2008 2:54 pm

    Such power! I felt the Holy Spirit in that blog. I know in my heart you were meant to write this book. God is just waiting for you to make a move and guess what your first step, although the hardest, is often overlooked. You were obedient and I know, that I know, that I know…. I will be waiting in line to buy this book for my cousin, who needs deliverence from the same life choice.

  37. January 9, 2008 3:36 pm

    Thanks Cheyla! So much! It’s good to “see” you again! We’ve missed you a lot down here.

    I did get your text this morning – I’ll get that out but need your address ๐Ÿ™‚

    And this is strange but your new blog is registered under my account. What’s that about? This is the weirdest thing.

  38. January 9, 2008 6:19 pm

    Tam, we were at the 9…it was so good!

  39. January 10, 2008 8:52 am

    Write it sister. Don’t wait another day. Just start to write-even if it’s just 20 minutes a day. Go for it! I’ll be in line to read it!


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