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A Beautiful Mess

February 23, 2008

It was a small function of women at my church and I was to give a brief testimony. I chose to speak on the abortions. Trust me, there are plenty other things I could’ve chosen – but my Spirit confirmed in me what needed to be said.

The usual greetings and fellowship took place. To be quite honest with you…I’m not wasn’t a big fan of women. So to be in a room with no guys was a bit awkward for me.

It came time for me to walk on stage to speak. There I stood, gathering my notes, making small talk with the front row. Making eye contact with the ones I knew well, those would become my comfort markers if a knee shaking, nauseating moment happened to arrive.

I began telling my story when a tall, beautiful woman walked through the back doors. She caught my eye immediately. So striking. As she made her way to the front row to join her friend, I noticed she never lifted her head. Her shoulders slumped a bit to suggest she really didn’t want to be there. I thought…what a good thing this is a free event!

I didn’t speak for too long. Twenty minutes at most. The MC came up afterwards, gave me a rose and prayed for us all before we left. As I made my way off stage I noticed the young woman was gone.

Two weeks later on a Sunday morning I am at church getting ready to join the Music Team for the beginning of the service when I see her, the beautiful girl. She came right up to me and asked if we could meet. Of course I say yes. I gave her my number then headed for the stage.

A week passed. No call. A second week passed. Still, no call. Finally, I saw her in church again and got her number this time and set up a time right then to meet.

The day came. It was a Tuesday morning. She came over to my home. It was nice to finally sit and talk with her. There was something about her from the first time I saw her that I was drawn to. She sat there, nervous and figity. She began telling me her story. Not so unlike my own. Only, she was currently pregnant. She was engaged with the wedding still months away. Her marriage would give her already little girl a daddy, for which she was very grateful for. But this baby inside her…she didn’t want. She didn’t want to make the same mistake again of having another baby out of wedlock. A baby she didn’t want nor was ready for. Her fiancé wanted the baby. He wanted it very much.

She told me she wanted an abortion. She just didn’t want another child right then. Not that way. She asked for my advice. I didn’t have to say much. I told her the fact that her seeking me out and meeting that day she already knew what she needed to do. All I would do is confirm that with her – all she had to do was make the right decision with her heart and mind. After many, many tears and lots of what ifs, she asked if she could use my phone. In fact, there was a little panic in her request as she looked at her watch. She hurriedly dialed a number as I sat there. A few moments later she gave her name and said she is suppose to be there in an hour, then asked if they would cancel her appt….”No”, she replied, “I don’t need to reschedule”.

She handed me the phone and said, “I was going to abort my baby at 11:30 today.” “No you weren’t”, I said to her…”I think you had already made the right decision before you came here…you just needed a little confirmation.”

We sat and cried for quite awhile. Rejoicing over the life that was saved. If angels rejoice in Heaven over saved souls – then I’d like to think there was a big celebration happening that day!

Not everyone feels it necessary to be an open book. But moments like these are why I feel I HAVE to be an open book! There is no option for me to be otherwise. A life was saved that day. NOT because of me – but by the redemptive power of the One who saved me. I cannot, will not, keep that to myself…

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49 Comments leave one →
  1. February 23, 2008 8:41 pm

    Wow. Wow. Ok maybe I need to say that again. Wow.

    Tam this is an amazing story. Amazing! (Am I just totally repeating myself today??) lol

    I thank God that He brought that woman to you. That because she never called you back you felt a need to reconnect and confirm a day and time to meet with her.

    Gods timing is so perfect. He brings the right people in at the right times. His grace and mercy for each of us comes when we least expect it.

    Tam I am so glad that you are so open to Gods voice. To the Spirits gentle nudges. I hope one day you can tell that story to a group of women and that girl will walk up there with her baby when you are done. What a testimony. What a blessing this story is.

    Thank you!!
    Gretchin

  2. February 24, 2008 4:52 am

    This touched me.
    I’m always amazed at how God times everything down to the minute.
    Chance encounters? No way!
    God used you to save a life. What a blessing!

  3. February 24, 2008 5:41 am

    This gave me goosebumps! This is so God!!! HE did something similiar to me about 18 months ago. I rarely ever shared the suicide of Laceys dad with anyone, and although God did miracles in and through it, I just didn’t share it due to people responded differently, and condemnation scared me to death! I felt HIM move on me to share it, and I didn’t want to…I started my class like always, and an older woman made a statement “about her husband committing suicide”, and she wore it like wieght around her neck. I remember stopping the class and then sharing my story…there was much needed healing for me in that. And the woman is learning that God will take the bad and make it good, and forgiveness is just that GONE! Love you so much! sorry I wrote a post in your comments 😉

  4. February 24, 2008 5:44 am

    that’s an awesome story. we never know who’s listening, huh?

  5. February 24, 2008 7:59 am

    Wow Tam, what a beautiful beautiful story. God has given you a huge job, and you were faithful to what he wanted and wants you to do. I can’t help but thinking what that girl must be thinking about how God totally changed the direction her life was going to take. He had his hand on that situation in such an amazing way, and I’m sure she will be forever amazed at how He worked.

  6. charitymedders permalink
    February 24, 2008 8:59 am

    There is so much power in our testimony. I can relate to being asked to share and to really wanting to but knowing that I have to do it. The Lord always uses my story for his glory when I am willing to share the redemptive power in my life. Thanks so much for be willing to share your life.

  7. February 24, 2008 9:10 am

    Tam,

    Great testimony. I think it is awesome that God is using you in this way. He knew it all along. That is the cool part. God wanted that child to enter the world and he used you to make sure that happened. That is truly amazing.

  8. February 24, 2008 11:21 am

    I am crying. That is amazing. Truly truly amazing. I have chills!

    Love you Tam.

  9. February 24, 2008 12:24 pm

    Where in the world are you?? literally I should get a map, and start marking it with the places in the world we have been in a day without every leaving our house.. 😉

  10. February 24, 2008 12:31 pm

    I am here silly!

    I just commented on your blog about an hour ago 😉

  11. February 24, 2008 12:42 pm

    God is so good at giving us the gift of “purpose” regardless of what we do. It blesses my socks of that you continue to touch lives through your difficult circumstances…it’s so humbling. Love you sweet sister.

  12. February 24, 2008 12:59 pm

    Great story, thanks for sharing this!

  13. February 24, 2008 2:38 pm

    I’m glad to see you told your story. We are all wounded healers – bandaging up the next person, so they can go tell someone else the Good news.

    B

  14. February 24, 2008 2:56 pm

    I love how b4dguy put that! how true is that? we still going through healing,bandage up the next person, and the good news travels…wow just like the believers in Acts! now I am excited all over again…I am an exciteable girl huh?

  15. February 24, 2008 3:48 pm

    Ya know, no matter how many times He shows up, I still get goosebumps and teary-eyed. Every Single Time.

  16. February 24, 2008 4:13 pm

    amen Tam! PRAISE GOD! PRAISE GOD! That is all I can say!

  17. February 24, 2008 5:58 pm

    wow…I am glad you pursued her for her phone number. I can relate with the young women, having been in a similar situation (except I am a male, so only slightly similar). It’s cool you allow God to use you. If we all did that (myself included) the issue (political) of abortion would not even exist.

  18. February 24, 2008 6:40 pm

    I have chills.

  19. February 24, 2008 7:26 pm

    I just stumbled onto your blog. Wow, what a post to stumble on to! As a mom in the process of adoption, I say thank you.

  20. February 24, 2008 7:38 pm

    That is definitely an amazing testimony, yup wow… I’m basically speechless. Our God is awesome! Thank you for sharing again!

  21. February 24, 2008 9:31 pm

    Hi everyone…I’ve been so busy today and still trying to get better I haven’t spent much time on-line.

    Thank you for spending some time here reading this story. It means a lot to me. Actually, anytime anyone stops by and spends their valuable time with me here is quite a compliment and honor to me. So thank you for that too!

    To my “first timers…kind of 😉 ”

    Char, nice to meet you. I’m glad you stumbled your way over. I am grateful that you are adopting and I hope that process goes quick and smoothly! What a blessed child…

    Hey B, nice to see you here! “wounded healers” That alone speaks volumes..well said!

    Kathleen, Hi to you!!! Like your new template! Thanks for coming by…

  22. February 24, 2008 10:23 pm

    I’ve got nothing just tears. Thank you Tam for always sharing your heart. God is so unbelievably incredibly of the people that will or have walked into your life and the heart’s you touch. Sorry not making sense the tears have taken me over.

  23. February 25, 2008 5:18 am

    catchin’ up on blogs today…. i LOVE when you write these… LOVE it.

    xoxo

  24. February 25, 2008 11:41 am

    Sorry to post twice, but I came across this and immediately thought of your post:

    http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/02/22/nartist122.xml

    Towards the end of your post you said, “a life was saved…”
    Perhaps you should have said, “two lives were saved.”

  25. February 25, 2008 12:42 pm

    Can you believe how much God can use our events in life to his Glory! What a wonderful story!!!!

  26. bajanpoet permalink
    February 25, 2008 2:35 pm

    Wonderful testimony!

    Lord, use her and her stories to broadcast what you are doing in this earth – and let someone who reads it be touched – not just in emotions, but in actions. Let people who read here be stirred in their spirit to act according to what you, Holy Spirit, will say to them through these words. You speak, Lord, and stop hundreds more from aborting their children by leading them to this post – or whatever appropriate action by reading these words. Bless u Jesus! AMEN

  27. February 25, 2008 3:01 pm

    bajanpoet-what an awesome beautiful prayer, thank you for blessing us with it!

  28. bajanpoet permalink
    February 25, 2008 3:18 pm

    Bless God, for he is the one who inspired it 🙂

  29. February 25, 2008 3:40 pm

    Wow! That is beautiful!

    Reminds me of what I heard Beth Moore say in a video segment from “Stepping Up.” She said, “I’m ashamed of my past, but that is the very thing that God draws from.”

    You’re a beautiful example of how I’m learning to be more open. Learning to let HIM have my shame.
    Thank you.

    Praise be to God for what He did through you!

    Blessings in Christ–

  30. February 25, 2008 4:06 pm

    I often pray to be a blessing to GOd, and although I am not clear in how I could do that, I pray that my life living out for HIM is a blessing to HIM.

  31. bajanpoet permalink
    February 25, 2008 4:18 pm

    Darla – u are alive – THAT’S the biggest blessing you could be to God… He LOVES u sooo much! I see an image of a laughing father spinning a little girl around and around – holding her up to the sky and spinning her and laughing – and that little girl is just up there enjoying herself and laughing her head off at her daddy…. That’s how God sees u 🙂 He loves u just for being alive and in his presence. Don’t worry about having to do anything to earn that love – he can’t love u any more, because he loves you to bits already!

  32. February 25, 2008 4:27 pm

    bajanpoet- thank you! I am sure you just spoke a word over me directly from my Father God. Loving HIM is the most incredible thing and always a blessing to me, remembering that my life is a blessing to HIM is hard to wrap my head around, but I put it up there with “the King is enthralled by your beauty”…I believe HIM, just can’t take it all in…maybe eternity with HIM will be plenty of time to do that! 😉

  33. February 25, 2008 4:28 pm

    Tam – How beautiful! What an incredible ministry you have!
    Bajanpoet – I like how you think!

  34. bajanpoet permalink
    February 25, 2008 5:16 pm

    Robin – I can’t take the credit 🙂 Darla’s right – I did speak a word from the Lord over her … so FATHER GOD gets ALL the praise 😀

  35. February 25, 2008 9:20 pm

    Wow… you have such an awesome ministry. Thank you for sharing of yourself. You are wonderful!

  36. February 26, 2008 2:36 am

    bajanpoet-Praise God from whom all blessings flow!

  37. February 26, 2008 4:24 am

    Tam; The courage that comes from walking in light irridiates from you. I am so glad that you were God’s tool for that baby’s life.
    What an inspiration. You are truly blessed.
    ivy-

  38. February 26, 2008 4:52 am

    I must confess I have very few original thoughts (that’s Ric’s department). “Wounded Healer” is the title of a book by Henri Nouwen. Highly recommended reading for all the walking wounded following after the Christ.

    B

  39. February 26, 2008 7:25 am

    Nate, I checked out the link…wow. I read it yesterday and thinking about it today still leaves me speechless. It’s so tragic.

    Oh, and you can post as often as you like 😉

    RWM “Can you believe how much God can use our events in life to his Glory!” He definitely can! I just pray that we will let Him.

    bajanpoet, welcome to my crazy blog! SOOO nice to have you here! You have brightened some faces already!

    Robin, Hi girl! Wanted to thank you for being so diligent in passing Daniel story around and leaving links back to tell his story. I love your persistent heart and compassion. Thank you!

    Rochelle, I’m not so wonderful…I STILL haven’t emailed you! Bad friend! Bad friend! 😀

    B, Are you and Ric brothers?

  40. February 26, 2008 8:11 am

    We’ve known each other for about 10 years. My wife and I are kinda Ric’s spiritual parents (we’re so proud of him!). 🙂

    Ric’s grown up very quickly – he’s taken on solid food much quicker than most.

    Sometimes I don’t know who is the teacher and the student…I think that qualifies us as brothers. 😉

  41. February 26, 2008 9:46 am

    Haha. We are both left-handed. Brothers by virtue of the second birth. B’s wife led a bible study class that I grudgingly attended in 1998, which led me to Christ. Since then B’s been like my mentor and teacher. Well sure, he’s had some help.

  42. February 26, 2008 12:26 pm

    Brothers by second birth. I LOVE it!!! One body many parts – each of us doing His thing and reaching others with His love! Life is just too sweet!

  43. justlovehim permalink
    February 27, 2008 8:46 pm

    Wow! Thank you for sharing this.

  44. justlovehim permalink
    February 27, 2008 8:46 pm

    Hope you don’t mind if I post a link to this story….let me know!

  45. February 27, 2008 11:13 pm

    Oh my…I’m linking people up to this one ASAP.

  46. February 28, 2008 4:15 am

    Love this story (came here via Amy). Thanks so much for sharing – what an encouragement. God is good!

  47. hismindandworldpeace permalink
    March 30, 2008 10:01 pm

    Wonderfully moving story. So glad I found this blog. Keep up His work.

    Sincerely, hismindandworldpeace.wordpress.com

  48. June 28, 2008 4:39 am

    This made me speechless, Tam. It really did.

    I like everything you wrote in this piece, but this one hit me real hard:

    “Not everyone feels it necessary to be an open book. But moments like these are why I feel I HAVE to be an open book! There is no option for me to be otherwise. A life was saved that day. NOT because of me – but by the redemptive power of the One who saved me. I cannot, will not, keep that to myself…”

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