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February 27, 2008

I had a friend over this weekend who I haven’t seen in awhile. It didn’t take long for our conversation to turn to our potty habits. I’m sorry. It was for health reasons people! I shared with her the Activia Challenge I was doing and she started bragging how regular she was and how she got that way. And I was like a student at her feet. Soakin’ all the knowledge in. Regular people fascinate me!!! I feel so enlightened and hopeful now 😀

A couple nights ago I crawled into bed desperately wanting to find that “comfy” spot. Aahhh, it came quickly. As I brought my arm up to tuck under my pillow I was taken aback! What the?!! What is that smell? Oh-No it isn’t! It was ME folks! I had forgotten to put deodorant on that morning. I never forget. I am rank! I never knew!

There is a local car wash in town I love going to because they have free vacuums and Lady Day Tuesdays. I’m convinced they have ladies days for their weekly laughs! I cannot, for the life of me, EVER get my front left tire lined up with that trolley, conveyor track thingy that pulls your vehicle through the wash. They see me coming and quickly call all employees up to the front to watch Trying Tam Terribly Trash her Tire! I CAN’T do it! I’ll watch all the cars line up with ease before me and think, what is the big deal. I’ve totally got this one! NEVER! As they stand there and scoff at me I shed invisible tears of humiliation for their enjoyment. When mission is finally accomplished I usually get an applause. Gee, thanks people. But it does nothing for the wound on my heart.

A good friend of mine on our music team over heard another friend of mine and I talking a few weeks ago about jeans. I was saying that if I had the perfect pair of jeans I would probably wear them 4+ days a week. That girl went out and bought me a $100.00 pair of jeans!!!! I’m still in shock! These are the sweetest things that have ever touched my body! Sorry Vinny 😀 I LOVE them. They fit like a glove. They’re a slight low rise but come up high enough in the back. Now when I sit down no one has to see my bottom cleavage.

Items in my glove box : napkins, pens/pencils/, scissors, hand sanitizer, straws, car docs, library cards, deodorant (for 11 yr old son 😯 sorry dude, it’s my fault ) and Dentex Flossers. Yes, floss! I love me some good flossin’. I’ve begun a habit of flossing when I drive now. I’ll grab one of those disposable flossers and start goin’ at it. It calms me. Not that I have road rage problems. Well, except when I drive by Gas Stations! Anyway, yesterday picking up my son I was flossin away, diggin in between my first bicuspid and second bicuspid, when I noticed a friendly driver passer byer staring at me clearly disgusted that my hand was half way down my throat occasionally coming out to view pieces of lunch residue on said flosser. So I’d like to apologize to the general driving public for my horrible driving habits. But it beats putting mascara on while driving. What “odd” thing do you do in the car?

33 Comments leave one →
  1. February 27, 2008 8:29 am

    Sometimes I read. I KNOW! That’s baaaad. But it really is a sometimes kind of thing. EEK I fee like I’m going to be stoned now. hahaha!
    Lipstick though, that’s the regular one. Everytime I get in the truck I am putting it on.

    Who is this friend that bought said pair of jeans and would she like another friend? 😆 What kind of jeans were they???? 😯

    I hate flossing. Really really hate it. But I have those same flossers. Handy little buggers. 😀

  2. February 27, 2008 8:43 am

    You are too funny! I am addicted to flossing and yes, I have done it in the car too! I floss about 2-3 times a day! I don’t feel right if I miss a day!

    Regularity…lot’s of water, lots of fiber and exercise! Oh and strong coffee…that will do it everytime! Good luck!

    take care,


  3. February 27, 2008 8:44 am

    PS…I NEVER go to the car wash cause I can never get the wheel lined up either! LOL!


  4. February 27, 2008 8:57 am

    OH, you make me laugh Tammy! Well, I don’t do anything that odd in the car now except ask ever so nicely for my children to PLEASE STOP bickering in the backseat. When I was in high school, though, I would change into my hostess server uniform on the way to work (while driving my car). I still laugh at the fact that I would have to make sure there were no cars near me so I could whip my shirt off and get the other one on. Is this safe? Never crossed my mind. It was high school, people.

  5. Elaine permalink
    February 27, 2008 9:02 am

    I’m laughing at the car wash thing too!! It happens to me all the time. The jeans sound lovely….I love the low rise style but hate the whole bottom crack thing on me. Please share the brand name..??!!! Benefiber powder.. dump it in your morning brew or water, tasteless and it does wonders. My bad habit in the car is giving my daughter food to make her happy or quiet ..not so bad usually depending on what I hand her but yesterday I had to pull over cause she was choking on a tater tot. oops

  6. February 27, 2008 9:16 am

    Oh.My.Goodness! You are too funny! One time at the car wash I was all lined up, ready to go…they had done the pre-scrub of my car and were ready to send my car into the big squid. ……but my car wouldn’t go..and they told me (through the window) “put it in neutral”…. “I am in neutral” …..”is the break off”…..”yes”. Now I’m getting all flustered because they’re looking at me like “that poor lady, doesn’t even know how to work her car”. Ya, well, apparently I kept putting it in reverse instead of neutral…the “N” and “R” were apparently confusing that day. I felt like such a dingbat.
    Yes, I’d also like to know what brand of jeans you got!!

  7. bajanpoet permalink
    February 27, 2008 10:15 am

    Well, the only thing I can think of is reading occasionally… I did try texting on my phone while driving, too (yeah, pretty dangerous, but hey, what can I say?)

    The most interesting thing I’ve done in the car is be drunk in the Spirit while driving lol – it really does impair your driving ability just like if you’d had alcohol … had to ask Him to lift off a bit so that I could get home lol

  8. February 27, 2008 12:30 pm

    Whew ! What a relief! No guys commented yet, I knew we weren’t weird!

  9. February 27, 2008 12:32 pm

    Poet, that is funny! “Hey God, lighten up a bit. Can’t you see I’m driving here?!” I can just hear it 🙂

    Uuuhhh, Kristen – you have me beat i think at the car wash. That is embarrassing. Congratulations 😀

    Elaine, at least you didn’t let her choke and to then have to do the Heimlich while driving!

    Kelly! Are you an Exhibitionist Driver? I’ve heard of people like you 😉

    Ang, me and fiber – enemies! My tummy will be in massive knots and pain. It’s terrible. But probably cuz it’s not use to it huh?

    Bran, and they say talking on the phone and driving is dangerous! Ya know, I have never yet been distracted by the phone. NOW, I have had near uh-ohs diggin’ for lip gloss in my purse!

    And the Jeans… Here you go…

  10. February 27, 2008 12:33 pm

    PAPA!!! You must be feeling better!?? I hope so! Sure have missed you! How’s Mama?

  11. February 27, 2008 12:52 pm

    I think I am turning a corner. Better today. Mama is just fine, she took my bell away! :o( Still gotta milk this thing a little.

  12. February 27, 2008 1:50 pm

    my wife one time was smelling someone’s body odor all day. She kept checking to make sure it wasn’t her. Problem was, she was only checking one pit (the one where she HAD used deodorant…)

    sounds alot like my wife…er, sounds like the ramblings of a typical, neurotic female (is that an oxymoron)? you wouldn’t happen to be a recovering catholic would you?

    (Oh, and sorry for commandeering your other post…)

  13. February 27, 2008 2:47 pm

    Great Papa! No bell? That’s not right. You can try yodeling. She may give you the bell back 😀

    badguy 😉 “neurotic female” 😀 I’m not neurotic really. Which I guess makes me not female? 😯

    “you wouldn’t happen to be a recovering catholic would you?”

    Nope. Went straight from the pit right into a Relationship. No middle guy – totally vertical 😉

    And commandeer all you want. I’m glad you’re involved!

  14. February 27, 2008 4:38 pm

    Tam, I’ve never been distracted while talking on the phone either. I am more focused if anything. W/o my phone I tend to daydream and zone out. NOT GOOD. 😉

  15. February 27, 2008 7:01 pm

    Soooo funny. I’m so excited that someone bought you a cool pair of jeans. What a blessing that must be. We all could use a comfy fitting pair of jeans…they’re hard to come by.

    Odd habits?? Singing? Does that count? I’m always bustin out in a tune. Or playing word games with my son.

  16. February 27, 2008 7:02 pm

    OH yeah…and car dancining. You know dancing from the hips up in your car.

  17. justlovehim permalink
    February 27, 2008 8:43 pm

    LOL!! I love this post! So random and funny! I can totally relate to the B.O. thing…I had that problem today, and I was soooooo self conscious…I was thinking all day, “Can that person smell me?” lol.

  18. February 27, 2008 9:34 pm

    hey BOSS! what a sweet friend with the jeans? Can I give her my address?
    Also, just a little info for all of blogworld. I have going problems so if you can pass on any tips that would be great!
    you should do a post on whats the longest time someone has gone without going?!? I can beat everyone!

  19. February 27, 2008 9:34 pm

    And I carry deo for the b.o. AT ALL TIMES! I am a freak like that!

  20. Cheryl permalink
    February 27, 2008 10:10 pm

    You are too funny!

    Driving for me requires too much concentration…I drive a stick but you will find me singing…my version of singing in the shower…er, with clothes on thank you very much!

  21. February 28, 2008 4:03 am

    Sounds like the jeans fixed your “plumber” problem. Yeah God 🙂

  22. February 28, 2008 6:13 am

    I like to sing in the car. I’m taking voice lessons. My coach say I should be standing but I can’t do that while driving! She expects too much. Sometime I get so into it, I’ll close my eyes… but only for one whole note.

  23. February 28, 2008 8:02 am

    whoa…that’s seriously random. ha!

  24. February 28, 2008 9:34 am

    Tam, First I’d like to find out how is the Activia Challenge going? I too am interested in “regular people” (I’ve never been all that regular).

    As for driving and flossing…our cars are our “glass houses”. We think we can drive down the street doing anything and no one will notice. If you saw someone digging in their nose would you be a little grossed out?? Just a random thoughts (I know some nose pickers – most of them are 4 years old but just the same…) 😀

    Have a BLESSED Day!

  25. February 28, 2008 10:00 am

    Tam, there are 8 pairs of jeans on that link!! Which ones did you get? I love Buckle…but I’ve tried on about 10 pairs of jeans there, and didn’t find the magical ones…you know, the ones that take off 10 pounds, make you 4 inches taller, lift the butt, and make the thighs look oh so slim. I did say magical! 🙂
    Have a great day!

  26. February 28, 2008 11:16 am

    I have got to quit reading your blog at work. Stiffled laughter led to a coughing fit, then choking…I’m just now back to normal?

  27. February 28, 2008 1:42 pm

    I only have one thing to say about this…LOL! great fun!!

  28. February 28, 2008 2:14 pm

    I think I stayed under 500 today! WOOHOO! 😉 hahaha! 😆

  29. February 28, 2008 5:06 pm

    I love to praise God while singing and listening to praise music in the car…so when I had a sun roof, one hand on the wheel the other out the roof singing my heart out…I do raise my hand in my car and talk to God, and I am very comfortable with it, but I have noticed at traffic lights, people are staring! oh well! Maybe they need me to ask them if they know my Jesus! hahahaha its all good from where i sit!

  30. February 28, 2008 5:31 pm

    Ha, I am sure that was only a morning’s worth! I too end up talking about my potty habits with my really close friends. Weird or what?


  31. convincedyet permalink
    February 28, 2008 9:15 pm

    I too enjoy a great floss, but its heating the eyelash curler on the vent of the defroster to curl my eyelashes.. Yep, that’s the weirdest thing I do.

  32. February 28, 2008 10:51 pm


  33. March 1, 2008 9:09 am

    LOL you are hilarious! I *heart* your random posts. The only weird thing I do in the car is that pretty much every morning during our shared commute, I eat my breakfast and put my makeup on in the car–while TJ drives, of course. 🙂

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