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A Blogger Collaberation – Story #2

March 22, 2008

You all ain’t right! This is what happens when you give bloggers free reign of your blog 😯

Rolling out of bed, I stretched my lower back and wondered if she had kicked me. My ribs were so sore and covered with pb&j. I need a shower! But the Zebra-Striped shower curtain was missing, OMGG!!!! So I figured more coffee would help. (hallucinations, hallucinations….)  I need more coffee still, thinking more clearly…still need MORE coffee. The coffee is turning colors. Green, Red Mahogany, Blue, Grey with floating hearts! Then it happens! Angels fly into my cup of coffee! Colorful angels. Angels say, “It’s Decaf!” Boring old angels 😦  I brew a new pot of the strongest coffee and get my dance on, OH where is Vinny? I need some nose plugs, matchbox, 7 straws, and a piece of big red gum. Yes, I am McGyver! Finding the shower curtain in my closet I quickly put on my shower curtain cape remembering the PB&J, slipped on a banana peel left by angel drinking decaf again. I switch to those angels needing a new song. Suddenly at the window I saw a creepy figure peering in at me from an air vent on the floor. I can tell they were eyeing my Easter Lilies in the garden. Slightly paranoid I saw him…McGruber from SNL! But I’m McGyver! Now it’s a battle. I get my duct tape and a left sock, unwashed, to put around a plunger soaking in rose vinegar and I whack the eye in the vent staring at my Easter Lilies! Whacked it with the plunger 😉  I felt so violated! Said Vinny with an eye patch on due to a tragic fight with a wheel barrel attack by a rabid pigeon in Central Park. OH that McGyver-Vinny. He doesn’t remember which incident it was. Maybe the one involving the massage oil. Definitely not for the eyes or the ears and armpits! So he picked up a jar of pickled pigs feet and a bag of jelly beans. But thank goodness for that scented massage oil to boil them in a coconut shell found in the barn that was formerly a Hawaiian Hula Bra. Who will eat it??? I bet the turtle with no shell will while waxing his surfboard and listening to Ace Of Base “All that she wants is another baby…she’s gone tomorrow”. Shaking off traumatic 80’s flashback, he wrapped his head in bubble wrap and got into the convertible 😯 You know, cuz he couldn’t find his helmet and took off at lightning speeds saying “Yeah baby!” Before long he got to his destination stuck in a muddy ditch he cried, McGyver help! But it was too late. McGyver instantly appeared with red Jimmy Choos. McGyver is gay?! I said as I asked him what size those shoes were 😉 He assured me that it was only a spicy marinara sauce. Another hallucination involving a pile of laundry to fold and a chance meeting with an insane blogger with a taste for pink tights. Suddenly the phone rings. A munchkin voice is…and I hear a voice that says….can I get decaf? Sorry, we are out, he replied. He decided that maybe the Easter Bunny and Vinny could both wear pink tights. Vinny refused!!!! Because pink does not go with red shoes, but Tam said I will and posted it on her blog. This made McGyver very angry. But he loves pink and decided to join her in a game of dominoes and whispered, “hey, wanta go cow tippin’?” Again?!!! So you’ve been before? Twice with Papa, once with McGruber and 8 times with Vinny. But don’t ask about the time Vinny was displeased with lunch, or it was displeased, which made him unhappy with the purple monkey-people eater, OH MY!! Here he comes again! With that annoying little imaginary green dog. It looks like an interplanetary galaxy bound rocket ship with ears and eyes, screaming “Drop the chalupa!!!” But as I looked closer it wasn’t a chalupa after all, it was McGruber!!!! With my shower curtain as his Superman cape. It was then I realized it was pink with little green frogs and words that read, “McGruber and McGyver-Twins – Separated at birth” I love pie said Superloveman while throwing Easter flowers. No I love you more. Do you think? Very rarely, he said. Thinking is hazardous and should only be done in pajamas. Nighty nite, said the bed bug before he flossed his teeth, crawled in bed, closed his eyes, and waited for his snack. It wasn’t long before popcorn flew through the air and landed precariously on the tip of his nose as he inhaled so he blew a snot rocket! Ah -hahahaha. What a relief. Great balls of….UGH, said his mother in law as she watched it hit the wall. Clean that up! And slobbily slide across the floor toward the elephants poop and rolling into bed. We drifted off to sleep until I realized I was in bed with my mother in law, eewww, and then I awoke and realized it was all just a bad dream. Nite-Nite.

15 Comments leave one →
  1. March 22, 2008 10:15 pm

    OH MY GOSH!!!! I am dying of laughter!!! This is so so so so soooo funny! hahahaha!!!!

  2. March 22, 2008 10:49 pm

    Genius idea…soooo funny and creative :-).

  3. March 23, 2008 3:13 am

    Is it friday yet? 😆

  4. March 23, 2008 3:14 am

    Happy Easter!!! Next special day to look forward to is friday, and not just the weekend…FIF too FUN and soooo out of control…

  5. TheNorEaster permalink
    March 23, 2008 4:17 am

    I love this! It is all so funny! You should do this EVERY Friday, Tam!

    Happy Easter everyone!!!

  6. March 23, 2008 6:26 am

    Tam, this is just too funny. Did you have any idea it was going to turn out this way?
    Happy Easter.

  7. March 23, 2008 8:04 am

    Just stopping by to say….Happy Easter!

  8. March 23, 2008 9:53 am

    Oh how our many minds work together to create such a work of art! ROFLOL

  9. March 23, 2008 12:03 pm


  10. March 23, 2008 2:18 pm

    Is this going in your book as one of the chapters??

  11. March 23, 2008 2:50 pm

    HAHA Papa! Uhhh…depends on the audience I want 😯

    HAPPY EASTER everyone!

  12. March 24, 2008 4:07 am

    tam tam tam……

    we worked on this: its “y’all”.
    if you’re gonna use the phrase “you all ain’t right” you could AT LEAST use it correctly:


    girlfriend. its time to make a trip to Boston to work on your souther accent….. LOL!

  13. March 24, 2008 4:40 am

    Can’t wait till next week! Too funny…you had some great contributions on this!

  14. March 24, 2008 12:08 pm

    warning: just recorded a video to teach you how to say “Y’all”…. will be going up probably on thursday. be prepared. 😛

  15. March 24, 2008 5:36 pm

    (And the pp is correct; it is definitely “Y’all ain’t right.”)
    In this case, so true!

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