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Following May Be Offensive – You’ve Been Warned

April 4, 2008

Women? When your Hoo-Hoo is on fire do you really contemplate whether or not you want a 1 day treatment or a SEVEN?!?!

“hmmm…I think I wanta live like this for a little bit longer – I’ll take the 7 Day!”


Thought I should add this…I do NOT have an infection πŸ™‚

86 Comments leave one →
  1. April 4, 2008 7:29 pm

    I pass on this one yaw!

  2. April 4, 2008 7:31 pm


  3. April 4, 2008 7:47 pm

    “hoo hoo” Hahahahahaha!!!!

    I love my wife!!!

  4. April 4, 2008 7:52 pm

    So were you bored at Walmart? i’m sure my husband could find lots of ways to entertain himself there…and it would be better if I was at least three aisles away.

  5. April 4, 2008 7:59 pm

    I just pooped my pants!

  6. April 4, 2008 8:12 pm

    Ya know actually hoo-hoo is the term we use when we sex salmon…’s a hoo-hoo or a hoo-he…I guess I haven’t been blessed yet with an on fire hoo-hoo….oh, Jer says I have but it’s been more of a blessing to him….*sigh* Yes, we’re back πŸ˜‰

  7. April 4, 2008 8:16 pm


  8. TheNorEaster permalink
    April 4, 2008 8:24 pm

    Uuuhh…Hey, what’s Mandy up to…?

  9. April 4, 2008 8:36 pm

    OH. MY. GOSH. 😯

    Between Ric’s (er, Kay) comment at my place and THIS I am about to pee my pants!!!!! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

    My grandma calls it a twitty twat. How’s that for inappropriate and uncomfortable??? πŸ˜†


    ANd Deb…… 😯 hahahahahahahahaaa!!!!!

  10. April 4, 2008 8:38 pm

    What, do tell, was your inspiration for this educational post?? 😯 πŸ˜• πŸ˜†

  11. April 4, 2008 9:05 pm

    Nope! – not going there! (hands over ears) lalalalalalalahhh!!!

    love <B

  12. April 4, 2008 9:06 pm

    Heyyyyy – one more post….

  13. April 4, 2008 9:07 pm

    ,,, and i get to completely comment hog your recent comments with my photo! – Cool!

    Love you

    love <B

  14. April 4, 2008 9:44 pm

    Hey tam-

    this is from Rose.

    I think that is a hilarious picture. I’ve found myself standing in the aisle thinking the exact same thing. However, the 1 day doesn’t really work in one day too…found that out on my honeymoon 😦

    3 day is the way to go.

    great to meet you on Thursday.

  15. April 4, 2008 9:44 pm

    die hard duck fan……

    that is hilarious.


  16. April 4, 2008 10:07 pm

    I just got through having the most wonderful conversation with Tam. Then all so innocently I am scrolling through my Google Reader to find…

    Tam is blogging about Hoo-Hoos being on fire.

    All you can say is, “Wow”.

  17. April 4, 2008 10:29 pm

    Um…Yeah, gotta go with the 3 or 7 day treatment. Why? Why does God hate us? Seriously…Now don’t come over and say crazy things about God hating us. But dang. On fire…for reals yo. Now imagine going to a free clinic for that. No thank you.

  18. April 5, 2008 12:29 am

    you make me laugh in crazy ways.

  19. April 5, 2008 3:07 am

    Isn’t there one that’s called, “Monistat Now!”.

    I thought a hoo hoo was the cardboard left when the toilet paper runs out.

  20. April 5, 2008 3:44 am

    an african friend of mine once referred to it as her “coconut”…

  21. April 5, 2008 5:47 am


  22. April 5, 2008 5:48 am

    i leave you alone for a day…. to lick my wounds after that video response whippin’ you gave me.

    and this is what i return to????????????????????????????????????//

  23. Cheryl permalink
    April 5, 2008 6:02 am

    AHAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh my goodness! Well, I wasn’t expecting this…but as one who has had a fire in the va-jay-jay go with 3 day. Seven is just…well, uh…gross!!!!

  24. April 5, 2008 6:13 am

    cheryl, you made me laugh out loud! i SO wanted to write va-jay-jay and couldn’t bring myself to do it. way to break the ice!

  25. April 5, 2008 6:18 am

    Here’s the weirdest comment you’re likely to get on this post. What works even better, sometimes, than those OTC remedies, regardless of how long you use them, is unsweetened organic yogurt, such as Nancy’s. It goes in the applicator about the same way. The other thing that really works is boric acid capsules, which many health food stores sell; less messy than the standard stuff, easier on your, uh, lovely lady parts, and a lot less messy than yogurt … though my last gf told me (after she actually tried this at my recommendation — poor woman, she was desperate) that the yogurt had a wonderfully cooling effect.

    This is what I get for hanging around naturopaths too much.

  26. April 5, 2008 6:28 am

    B – you may love your wife, but I’d be keeping my distance if I were you…

    T – I can’t say I empathize, but my wife says eat the yogurt.

    Reminds me of the old joke about the constipated guy who got suppositories from his doctor. After a week with no relief he want back to the doctor. Puzzled, the doc asked the guy how he was administering the suppositories. “I dissolve them in tea and drink them – what did you think, I was shoving them up my a$$???”

    I’m so glad I’m a man.

  27. April 5, 2008 6:41 am

    This is the best post you have ever blogged. I am just sayin…..

  28. April 5, 2008 7:42 am

    I just don’t know what to say to this… o.o

  29. April 5, 2008 7:43 am

    Ok – how do you do the bug-eye guy???

  30. April 5, 2008 7:54 am

    😯 😯 😯

    Yes, I’m good, I figured it out on my own!!!! πŸ˜‰

  31. April 5, 2008 8:13 am! You are just too funny! My recommendation would be to EAT a lot of yogurt or..better yet, go by some acidophylus or bifidactyl pills in the nutrition area of your grocery store. Then call your doctor and ask that they prescribe you some Diflucan. Which is a pill for such issues with the Hoo Hoo, one pill, no mess.

    Good luck with that!!

  32. April 5, 2008 8:32 am

    Ok, now that I’ve worked through my shock (I’m quite a prudish dork – sorry about that).

    Yeast is an overgrowth of fungus in the system and fungus loves sugar. Not for relief but to help kill the fungus, eat green leafy vegetables, low sugar vegetables (no potatoes or carrots), nothing – absolutely – NOTHING white (it immediately turns to sugar in the system, this means anything containing flour or sugar), and drink only water, no fruit/juices.

    So you are basically left with green vegetables, meat, water, and legumes. Oh, in about three months you will feel much better, if you can hold out that long – ENJOY!

  33. April 5, 2008 8:56 am

    DIFLUCAN…the magic pink pill that makes it all go away. : )

    I think this is a GREAT post! This is just the reality of life, ya know?!

  34. April 5, 2008 8:59 am


  35. April 5, 2008 9:05 am


    I do NOT have a yeast infection people. I just thought all the different choices were funny πŸ˜€

    But if I ever DO get one – I’ll know which posts comments to refer to to ensure I receive the optimal treatment πŸ˜‰

    Thanks guys!

  36. April 5, 2008 9:46 am

    “organic yogurt, such as Nancy’s”

    Doesn’t this mean she needs the treatment too


  37. April 5, 2008 10:08 am

    Hoo Hoo whom? What a hoot! It looks like Darla passed on this one as well.

  38. April 5, 2008 10:26 am

    I’m thinkin you and Vinnie were made for each other πŸ˜†

  39. April 5, 2008 10:55 am

    Tam! What were you thinkin?? 😯 okay πŸ˜† I totally understood the logic…but look at the men and their responses…that is the funniest thing ever…just the thought of the word “hoo hoo” we have mudpuppy-pooping himself, Jer thinks he is blessed by the flaming hoo hoo, and hubs is walking around telling me knock knock jokes like “whose there..yoo hoo, knock knock..whose there..yoo hoo hoo hoo” I am dying here! B is thinking he knows why someone is eating yogurt, and papa is embarrassed but is coming back for another turn… Oh my I don’t think I have laughed this hard all week!!!!

    Actually you all (especially men) where I come from it could be trick and that means you all are dirty dogs.. πŸ˜†

  40. boffthewall permalink
    April 5, 2008 11:03 am

    What did the people who were in the aisle think when they saw you taking a picture of Monistat?

  41. April 5, 2008 11:04 am

    hahahahahaha I want to know too..please tell me that B was taking the pic in the feminine aisle

  42. April 5, 2008 11:11 am

    YES! Brent AND Kota took the pic in Femm Aisle!

    It was the day I super sick, I was sitting at the pharmacy that happened to be at the end of the vag aisle. The boys were with me but they were in the electronic aisle. So from my seat, i yelled for them, in Target, and asked if they would take that pic for me. NO HESITATION at all! The first pic was of Kota holding all those boxes. TOO MUCH!!!!

    I love my guys!

  43. April 5, 2008 11:20 am

    Laughed so hard from this post and comments…my side hurts!

  44. April 5, 2008 11:20 am

    ok, tam… THAT is the best part of this whole thing!

  45. April 5, 2008 11:35 am

    Holy guacamole! You guys are hilarious, I love that “you all” have so much fun together. Those guys just love you Tam.

  46. April 5, 2008 11:37 am

    I’m glad to know nothing is wrong with you! Just too much time waiting at the pharmacy I suppose.

    I hope Hoo-Hoo is not Dr. Suess! I dont want to imagine Whorton meeting Hoo!

  47. April 5, 2008 1:35 pm


    i STILL can’t believe you did this. really.

    and the comments. MY GOSH!

  48. April 5, 2008 1:36 pm

    I”ve always been rather partial to “nether-regions” myself. πŸ™‚
    With gratitude for the laugh, Feisty Housewife.

  49. April 5, 2008 5:05 pm

    hoo-hoo…hahaha!. You should sign up to teach sex ed.

  50. April 5, 2008 6:26 pm

    Yep, I am staying out of this discussion about who’s who of hoo hoo land. I agree, it sounds like a new DR. Seuss book! Scary! Or maybe a new twist to the old Dr. Goat took off his coat ….. story!

  51. April 5, 2008 6:49 pm

    ooo sex ed teacher! those kids would NEVER want to have sex. I totally should look into that! Great idea Meg!

    Papa, you know you love this!

  52. insidehomerecording permalink
    April 5, 2008 8:23 pm

    The 3-day is the best option. I find the ONE day does not get it all sometimes. That’s what my DR. recommended, too.

  53. April 5, 2008 8:38 pm

    Simple, just listen to Dr. Paul:

    Get rid of the old yeast that you may be a new batch without yeastβ€”as you really are.

    1 Corinthians 5:7

    That’s all you have to do.

  54. April 5, 2008 8:47 pm

    of course!


  55. April 6, 2008 5:39 am

    I can’t believe I’m the one hoo has to doo this.

    Vagina. Its a clinical term. Say vagina out loud 3 times without smirking.

    I’m working on the Dr. Seuss version of this post.

  56. April 6, 2008 6:42 am

    R – Of ALL people, how did YOU stay out of spam with that comment!


  57. April 6, 2008 5:43 pm

    Speaking of hoo hoos, be careful what you use before your yearly check up!

    The Wash Cloth

    I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist
    later in the week. Early one morning, I received a
    call from the doctor’s office to tell me that I had
    been rescheduled for that morning at 9:30 am. I had
    only just packed everyone off to work and school, and
    it was already around 8:45 am. The trip to his office
    took about 35 minutes, so I didn’t have any time to

    As most women do, I like to take a little extra effort
    over hygiene when making such visits, but this time I
    wasn’t going to be able to make the full effort. So, I
    rushed upstairs, threw off my pajamas, wet the
    washcloth that was sitting next to the sink, and gave
    myself a quick wash in β€œthat area” to make sure I was
    at least presentable. I threw the washcloth in the
    clothes basket, donned some clothes, hopped in the car
    and raced to my appointment.

    I was in the waiting room for only a few minutes when
    I was called in. Knowing the procedure, as I’m sure
    you do, I hopped up on the table, looked over at the
    other side of the room and pretended that I was in
    Paris or some other place a million miles away.

    I was a little surprised when the doctor said, β€œMy, we
    have made an extra effort this morning, haven’t we?” I
    didn’t respond.

    After the appointment, I heaved a sigh of relief and
    went home. The rest of the day was normal… some

    shopping, cleaning, cooking, etc.
    After school when my 6 year old daughter was playing,
    she called out from the bathroom, β€œMommy, where’s my

    I told her to get another one from the cupboard. She
    replied, β€œNo, I need the one that was here by the
    sink, it had all my glitter and sparkles saved inside

  58. April 6, 2008 7:00 pm

    If i was reading this Post and comments – which out of respect and good taste, i am not – i would be laughing hysterically at Selena’s Story…



    ( Sorry Selena, that was PRICELESS!)

    ( Still snickering and smiling) πŸ™‚

    Ric – i think Tam would prefer it if you went to your room! πŸ˜‰

    love <B

  59. April 6, 2008 7:33 pm



    this is the best vagina discussion…EVER!

  60. April 6, 2008 8:07 pm

    B used the V word!!! 😯

  61. April 6, 2008 8:17 pm




  62. April 6, 2008 8:42 pm

    I was just respecting Ric


  63. April 6, 2008 9:29 pm

    OMG Selena…. too funny….

    Loving this post πŸ˜€ I can’t say I’m offended – I read anything I get my hands on; one time I found my mother’s panty-liners and read all the instructions on the box several times coz I just had nothing better to do….

  64. April 6, 2008 11:13 pm

    Hey B, let’s not be ‘transgressors’ πŸ˜‰

    Thou shalt not wrest justice: thou shalt not RESPECT PERSONs; neither shalt thou take a bribe; for a bribe doth blind the eyes of the wise, and pervert the words of the righteous

    Deu 16:19

    As for calling a ‘spade’ a ‘spade’ and not a hoo-hoo, well… i’m still looking for the Scripture on that one! πŸ˜‰

    Not that i’m reading this post of course !

    I have far too much respect for that πŸ˜‰

    love <B

  65. April 7, 2008 3:06 am

    I went to Hallmark yesterday to see if they have cards for Hoo Hoo’s that are “ill”. I checked for Hoo Hoo cards for wives, special friends, mothers, grandmothers and even nieces. There are none. I feel we all know Tam’s Hoo Hoo well enough that a card would be appropriate. I did not find one, I was hoping to find one with glitter and sparkles!

  66. April 7, 2008 3:11 am

    So this one time at the gyno….

  67. April 7, 2008 3:42 am

    Tam, I think Akismet is soooo FREEEAAAKKIN TIRED of me sending them complaints in ALL CAPS that they’ve put me on the “universal trust” list. So basically I’m a loose canon now.

    B, thanks for the respect.

    People, If you start reading Selena, you can get critical information on glitter even sooner.

    Papa, your comment # 65… next to last sentence… you are gonna be in soooooo much trouble. I’m curiously concerned: is your Will up-to-date?

  68. April 7, 2008 5:59 am



  69. April 7, 2008 9:05 am

    I remember now, Walmart has cards and glitter as well! Maybe I will check later today.

  70. April 7, 2008 10:39 am

    I got that Wash cloth story as a forward, wich I normally loathe, but this one was too funny to delete!

    I think I would know if I had a glitter issue going on…

  71. April 7, 2008 10:48 am


    I heard one similar where a mom wanted to “freshen up” for her gyno so on her way out sprayed some feminine deodorant on. Only it was her daughters blue hair spray!


  72. April 7, 2008 12:40 pm

    Selena’s story is the one of the funniest I have ever heard: β€œMy, we have made an extra effort this morning, haven’t we?” What a hoot! Of course now your Doc is going to be expecting the Vegas treatment from here on.

    As for the rest of this thread: “JEESH!”

  73. April 7, 2008 12:48 pm

    We’re just here to educate my friend

  74. April 7, 2008 5:34 pm

    Be assured that at the age of 64 you are educating me! I attended a Christian college but never saw Hoo Hoo 101 in the class schedule! I hope i don’t have to write any term paper! I pray there won’t be a final exam!

  75. April 7, 2008 5:38 pm

    Yah! that’s my prayer too!

    Love you Papa!

  76. April 8, 2008 1:26 pm

    Tam, exacly where did you find the term hoo-hoo?
    And most importantly, What is a hoo-hoo?

  77. April 8, 2008 1:30 pm

    Girl – should I email you the definition?


  78. April 8, 2008 2:05 pm

    Say “fine china” really fast.

  79. April 8, 2008 2:25 pm


  80. April 8, 2008 2:26 pm



  81. April 8, 2008 2:39 pm

    I’m so going to hell when I die…

  82. April 8, 2008 4:33 pm

    God has a sense of humor! I am soooo sure about that! 😯

  83. April 8, 2008 7:28 pm

    Sure He does D! – have you SEEN a duck-billed platypus???

    I wonder what Selena could make of that? πŸ˜‰

    love <B

  84. April 8, 2008 7:32 pm


    Poor Selena!

    You’re cool girl!

  85. April 9, 2008 7:31 am

    Awww, thanks! *struts around with her gansta walk feeling all cool. Then trips on a duck-billed platypus. πŸ˜‰ *

  86. April 9, 2008 7:44 am

    “Then trips on a duck-billed platypus.”

    considering the reference to that in this thread…I am dying laughing right now!!!!!!!

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