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so how do you REALLY feel???

April 16, 2008

I was just driving home from the grocery store and was behind one of those big SUV’s with the family decals all over their back window…kind of like the pic here.

The car I was behind had decals of a Mom, 1 daughter, 2 sons, a dog and part of a Dad.

Dad had a portion of his left leg torn off, a hole in the center of his head and a big X drawn through him.

hmmm….wonder what that was about…


111 Comments leave one →
  1. April 16, 2008 11:08 am

    There’s a LOT of love in the THAT family. You can just FEEL it.

  2. April 16, 2008 11:21 am

    “Dad had a portion of his left leg torn off, a hole in the center of his head and a big X drawn through him.”

    I had to discipline myself for laughing at that. Last night I watched the film “Juno.” Loved it. In the movie Juno asks her dad something to the effect, “does anybody stay together anymore? is it possible for to people to stay together.”

    Hit me hard…many friends going through divorce right now…all within the Church…one went to Seminary with me…all are tore up. Even though I laughed, and if i read it again, i unfortunately will laugh again, I’ll be praying for the family.

    Ohhh…I was in Croatia with a few other seminarians for 3 months. And I should rephrase, I did go on vacation before, but I was a kid and the memory is foggy.

  3. April 16, 2008 11:39 am

    I know. It’s funny at first site, then reality sinks in. Although, even that took awhile to sink in for me this afternoon.

    I thought about the kiddos and what they may think when they see Dads sticker all mutilated. What kind of message is that sending.

    Sorry about your friends Nate. The process is never easy.

    I hope you get back to Croatia again some day! I would really enjoy a missions trip with our kids. They’re at good ages for it right now…14 and 11. And I’ve never been on one either.

    Dang…I’m still laughing at the sticker 🙄

    focus. focus.

  4. April 16, 2008 12:43 pm

    I can only speculate about the decals – but if it means dad is out of the picture – that rips my heart out. Your right Tam, what message does that send to the kids? Curious, what would my back window look like if mama put up some decals ?? I think in the middle would be a big cross. I would hope the four of us would be kneeling, facing the cross.

  5. April 16, 2008 1:12 pm


  6. April 16, 2008 1:34 pm

    I am trying to think of something to say that would sound smrt but man I just know Mandy hears the real deal in my head….hahahahahhahahahahahhaa bad dad bad dad…oh bad me bad me…poor kids….more bad dad…maybe dad did that too his own picture…maybe i should just apologize now and let you delete my comment 🙄

  7. Lori permalink
    April 16, 2008 2:03 pm

    I know I’m going out on a dangerously controversial, possibly offensive limb here (and I know this is not alway the case), but I think much credit to all of the d.i.v.o.r.c.e. in our society today is [drum-roll please] women being out of their rightful (biblical) places. Men too for that matter! I have an extreme view on this, please don’t call in the mob on me! Just sharing my view. You can erase this is you want Tam?!?!?

  8. April 16, 2008 2:09 pm

    No Lori! I’m not deleting this. I agree. Not only are our roles blurred, by our own doing, there is also SO much selfishness and pride. Which ultimately is what causes the blurred roles.

  9. April 16, 2008 2:19 pm

    I know this is serious, before anyone tells me I know..Lived it, and know lots that are living it too….

    Yea the problem lies deeper than just roles in families, it lies with people without Christ, and when things appear hopeless there is no hope…so I think it all comes back to how are we (individually) going to get this goodnews of hope and salvation out to our hurting neighbors, and keep it going like a ripple on a lake?

  10. April 16, 2008 2:21 pm

    What if the Dad was an Iraqi War vet or vet of some kind? Just thinking out of the box and not the obvious.

  11. April 16, 2008 2:25 pm

    wow Cheryl, with todays current events that could be true, and some childs heart out there in that display…. 😦

  12. April 16, 2008 2:46 pm

    Ok Cheryl. I actually DID think about that. I doubt it was – but it did occur to me too. I think it would have been a little more respectful…not so…morbid. At least I hope 😯

    Darla? Dress?

  13. April 16, 2008 2:52 pm

    my dress is almost finished..a few more beady things need replaced…and I should have it early next week…YAY God!!

  14. April 16, 2008 2:52 pm

    My daughter did forget mine..little creep!

  15. April 16, 2008 2:54 pm

    Ya, that is morbid but nothing surprises me anymore…but if it is a divorce, that’s horrible too b/c that sticker totally discounts a part of who those children are.

    Bumper stickers…reminds me of one I saw this morning….but I won’t repeat it. 😉

  16. April 16, 2008 4:27 pm

    ooooo harsh decal! 😆 When I went through my divorce I wore a shirt that said “I miss my ex, but my aim is improving”…. 🙄 Bad me!

  17. April 16, 2008 4:44 pm

    bad me bad me Debs shirt is cracking me up!! oh my gosh!!!!! I love you ladies..and laughter is a gift from God…

  18. April 16, 2008 4:53 pm

    Whatever happened to all the good fun stickers like “my karma just ran over your dogma” and “your village called, their idiot is missing”?

  19. April 16, 2008 4:55 pm




    Killin’ me people!!!!

  20. April 16, 2008 5:03 pm

    That decal reminds me of a typical family of four going to a church I once went to. Dad was in the choir, mom involved in women’s ministries, and 2 daughters 14 and 16 in our youth group. All of a sudden dad was gone … away in an affair with another woman. I had many one-on-ones with each daughter and I can totally see them mutilating a decal. Many tears on that bumper.

  21. April 16, 2008 5:06 pm

    That’s the weird thing about this. There is a big story behind that mutilated dad. And each of those people are carrying their own version in their hearts…


  22. April 16, 2008 5:11 pm

    Oh, Tam, I don’t carry it in my heart anymore…I use it as a dust cloth now, and toilet bowl cleaner….tee hee 🙄 😆

  23. Heidi permalink
    April 16, 2008 5:18 pm

    Who’s version is correct the “scorn” wife or “multilated” husband. It’s sad because she has it all lined up so it reminds her kids EVERYDAY that the husband is the blame or is an idiot or whatever. The problems were between her and her husband and unfortunately she drags her kids through every day. Maybe not spoken, but visually.

    I pray that God jumps in and HEALS those kids and forgives the wife for ever putting that on her window. She is hurting but she doesn’t have to keep lashing out.

    My take. I’m sorry if I was being critical, but I’m a kid of divorce and I presently live in a tough marriage. But one thing I remember daily is too BOAST and HONOR my husband in the presence of my children. I have too.

  24. April 16, 2008 5:25 pm

    Deb – 👿

    Heidi – you’re not being critical at all. I’m a kiddo from a broken home 10 times over. It’s a terrible thing to put children through. Especially when the mom or dad makes such a spectacle out of the other.

    It’s one of those things (the decal) that leaves you laughing then thinking.

  25. Heidi permalink
    April 16, 2008 5:33 pm

    Bumper sticker are fun.

    “mother in law in trunk”
    “If you can read this you are following too @*@&^ close”

    My favorite

    “For Sale: teenagers!! ”

    Hey my 6 foot 14 year old is for sale tonight.
    Unfortunately he doesn’t take out the trash 🙂

  26. April 16, 2008 5:41 pm

    where was your camera?!?!

  27. April 16, 2008 5:45 pm

    This post has left me with such a variety of feelings. I have tried to laugh with some of you but that is hard. Deb’s tee-shirt is funny, but then my heart weeps when I think of the destruction that went with it. My immediate family has been through that tragedy and it was not a good thing. Tam – I want to hug you more than ever now. Why oh why do we have such a plague of broken homes?? Sorry for the despair. This post is hard on me.

  28. April 16, 2008 5:51 pm

    You did not make it totally clear Tam – what is sadder about the sticker – that one single Mom had put it on her car ( and did the mutillation herself?) for the ‘humour’ to show other people in her life (especialy including the kids who may or may not have reason to ‘share’ her feelings)…

    or is it (IF is the case) that there are enough people with similar thoughts out there that someone makes the sticker the way it is for public display and makes a profit from all the sales they get???

    You have to wonder about the way life is headng in some places on this planet! 😦

    Probably best we focus on the positive messages huh?

    ‘Hug your Kids – they may get to choose your retirement home!’ 🙂


  29. April 16, 2008 5:54 pm

    I’m sorry Papa – we don’t want to make you sad. Praise God those of us who have survived the brokenness can now stand tall. We certainly know how to pray for those going through it now though.

    Love you Papa!

  30. April 16, 2008 5:56 pm

    My kids aren’t choosing my retirement home. I’m living with THEM. Yup – it’ll be one big torture party 👿

    No, I think this was done by her, for her, seemingly with no regards for the kids. Who knows tho – maybe the son did it.

    G’mornin’ Love!!

  31. April 16, 2008 5:58 pm

    Meg – I know! I have a great camera on my phone but i don’t know how to get the pics off! I’m not that bright 😐

  32. April 16, 2008 6:04 pm

    I too understand the broken home from the kid’s point of view and its not easy even today as an adult with children of her own. We need to pray for healing in families. No-one tells you how challenging marriage is… As a kid from a broken family I somehow thought I would be able to excape the difficulities of my parents because I saw them in advance, but I still had to weather my own difficulties. I’m reading two great books by Gary Thomas and I highly recommend them to anyone who is married – Sacred Marriage and Sacret Influence – both terrific and sort of in your face (in a good way). I will post about them at when I finish them and I’m sure I’ve mentioned them somewhere on the blog already.

    I wish our churches could set up mentoring for young married couples to teach and love them through the early trials…and to help them build strong foundations with God’s help…

  33. April 16, 2008 6:07 pm

    You’re so BRIGHT i gotta wear shades to read your blog! B-) 🙂 😉


  34. April 16, 2008 6:12 pm

    Papa: i just wanted to say to you that I laugh and am able to laugh because of what Christ did for me. The redemption that happened in my brokeness allows me to laugh. I laugh because the world didn’t win, He did. I laugh because every time I use my abuse to help someone else in their journey, it stomps the head of the enemy one more time…we all have our stories of abuse and neglect…I don’t want people to be sorry for me..I want them to rejoice with me at what the Lord has done. I want them to know that because of what Christ did for me, I can look my abuser in the face and feel compassion for his soul, and pray for his salvation. Yes, my divorce was hard, but I’m married to my dream man now, and the boys are wonderful. That’s my focus, that’s the power of the cross…that’s why I can laugh, and that’s what gives me hope for others who are suffering now. Love you Papa! 🙂

  35. Heidi permalink
    April 16, 2008 6:27 pm

    Deb.. What an amazing story and attitude. Thanks for the push and encouragement and I’m not even papa 🙂

    God’s awesome!!

  36. April 16, 2008 6:28 pm

    no kidding!

    we’re having church now friends!


  37. Heidi permalink
    April 16, 2008 6:31 pm

    !!!over a decal !!

    isn’t that God speaking?

  38. April 16, 2008 6:33 pm

    Deb – isn’t laughter wonderful !!! It can heal a lot of bad memories! I had this tee-shirt (your story reminded me of it) that had on the front: “‘happiness is …” on the back it said; “finding your mother-in-laws picture on a milk carton!” It also had a picture of a milk carton with an”‘old hag’s” picture on it! Before you judge me too harshly, my mother-in-law got me the tee-shirt!

  39. Heidi permalink
    April 16, 2008 6:36 pm

    arent mother in laws fun???

  40. April 16, 2008 6:39 pm

    Tam…before you read Papas entry…remember perseverence produces self-control…don’t do it…..I know you want to but…don’t do it….

    Papa: No judging here….just 😆

    Heidi: Ur welcome…remember, ur God’s favorite! 😉

  41. April 16, 2008 6:40 pm


    restraint tam


  42. April 16, 2008 6:56 pm

    I wore the tee-shirt two or three times in public, got harassed so bad I ended up using it strictly for a night shirt! It finally wore out!

    Restraint Tam ????? I am missing something!!

  43. April 16, 2008 7:01 pm

    Papa, don’t encourage her… shhhhhh 😯

  44. April 16, 2008 7:03 pm

    it’s the New ‘disciplined’ Tam, Papa! 😉

    ( Just don’t let her see that bag of Oreo’s your holding 🙂 )

    ‘Morning Tam 🙂


  45. Heidi permalink
    April 16, 2008 7:03 pm

    come on Tam !!!!

  46. April 16, 2008 7:05 pm

    TAm – I am sure it is nothing – You are such a pleasant wonderful young (well almost middle-aged) lady that anything you would say would be from an attitude of kindness. Your gentle spirit is a model for all.

  47. April 16, 2008 7:05 pm

    are you guys instigating me?

    shame on you!

    every one of you!

    Look. Give me the Oreos and no one gets hurt!

  48. April 16, 2008 7:07 pm

    They’re in the mail! What’s left…… 🙂

  49. Heidi permalink
    April 16, 2008 7:10 pm

    double stuff or original?

    milk or a latte?

  50. April 16, 2008 7:11 pm

    Love, I’m sorry, but I just can’t take it anymore….

    I thought you should know that the sign you use at the end of each blog (<B) represents a womans behind here in Amereica amongst the teenage phone texters…. 🙄

  51. April 16, 2008 7:42 pm


    restraint tam

  52. April 16, 2008 7:47 pm

    “TAm – I am sure it is nothing – You are such a pleasant wonderful young (well almost middle-aged) lady that anything you would say would be from an attitude of kindness. Your gentle spirit is a model for all.”

    Papa, somehow I missed this comment. My response was “Aaawww!” Then I realized youjust had to go and say THIS

    “well almost middle-aged”


  53. April 16, 2008 7:47 pm

    I always thought Love’s <B meant I was greater 🙂

  54. April 16, 2008 7:54 pm

    vinny made me laugh

  55. April 16, 2008 8:04 pm

    American teenagers are doing WHAT!!!:shock:

    the cheek of it all! 😀

    I have new found respect for you Vinny – your maths skills are excellant! 😉

    You ARE Great…

    and i am less than B

    (Sorry Deb – make the teenagers change – ok? 😉 )

    i Less Than Three you all 🙂


    i Less Than Three you all 🙂

  56. April 16, 2008 8:37 pm

    Maybe it was just a random vandalism??? Lets hope…. and in that case…take it down!

    That is sad either way.

  57. April 16, 2008 9:21 pm

    Bless your little sugar-coated heart, Bran 🙂 ❤

    Deb’s comment is rolling around in my brain….

    i WAS called lwBUT once! 😉 LB is SO apt! 😉


  58. April 16, 2008 9:24 pm

    I don’t get it.. i really don’t…

    who has a pointy bum?

    looks more like a pair of breasts to me! 😉



  59. April 17, 2008 3:12 am

    When I first saw the “<B” signature my mind went through this process (no kidding):

    Australian heart = American Butt. hmmm.
    less than B
    less than Brent?
    B = Booth
    Booth is greater


    BS, Math, SUNY Oneonta, 1982.

  60. April 17, 2008 6:04 am

    Tam – today is my daughters birthday – she is almost middle-age too! 37 today! Kass’s tomorrow right?! We need to all go to Kass’ most recent post tomorrow and wish her birthday greetings! :o)

  61. April 17, 2008 7:00 am

    ALMOST middle-aged???? c’mon… she IS middle-aged!!!!

  62. April 17, 2008 7:02 am

    “The US Census lists middle age as including both the age categories 35 to 44 and 45 to 54”
    —thanks wikipedia!!!!


  63. April 17, 2008 7:23 am

    Oh thanks for that cheery note on middle age this morning, Mandy! :p

  64. April 17, 2008 7:23 am

    Aiiiiiiiiiiii!!! :o( Both my kids are definitely middle aged! Poor Tam – she is just about over-the-hill! Sometimes reading her blog posts I thought her mind was slipping a little. Fortunately for me at 64, my mind has been sharp & clear – by the way who’s blog is this?? Mandy, what does the US Census say about my age, 64??

  65. April 17, 2008 7:28 am

    Cheryl: i am to please! especially while Tam is still asleep and can’t smack me! HE HE HE!!!

    Papa: the US Census has already kicked you over the hill, papa. BUT, if you go with the famous sociologist Erik Erikson’s take: “while Erik Erikson sees it ending a little later and defines middle adulthood as between 40 and 65.”
    — again, thanks wikipedia!

  66. April 17, 2008 7:31 am

    Ahh can feel me a fee-ood a-comin onnnn!

    My money’s on the middle-aged more experienced, but still remarkably youthful looking one! 😀

    Mandy Girl – you love livin’ dangerously, huh?

    Ric – I can’t fault your Math logic.

    your ego however, leaves much to be ‘desired’ 😉

    Personally, i think you transposed the two B equalities incorrectly in sequence. 🙂

    Tam – don’t fret nun Hun – i just stuck up fer Vinny was all that fancy chat up there ^ was about – you best get back to plottin’ yer re-venge. Mandy might be able (but i doubt it strongly 😉 ) to get away with that kind of foolish talk over on HER blog – but here on yourn?? She don’t stand a turkey’s chance in a barn full of hungry gun-totin’ red-necks on Thanksgiving eve!



  67. April 17, 2008 7:33 am

    Love: she knows i love her, respect her, and appreciate her…
    and i TOTALLY hope to be that hot when I’M middle-aged!

  68. April 17, 2008 7:35 am

    Mandy: Thanks, that puts Tam and I almost in the same category – I’ll go with this Erik guy. I wonder If Tam and I can get the same room at a nursing home – bunk beds. I’d have to take the lower, she is probably a little more limber than me.

  69. April 17, 2008 7:39 am

    I hope at Tams age she has a good sense of humor!!! :o) I love you Tam ! I repeat, I love you just in case you didn’t hear it the first time!

  70. April 17, 2008 7:47 am

    Tam: i just bought a soda out of the vending machine here and it cost $1.35. can you believe that?? it got me to wondering – how much did a soda cost when you were my age? come to think of it….did they even have vending machines back then?

  71. April 17, 2008 7:48 am

    i’m done. she’s gonna wake up & kill me. i think i just secured an early death for myself….

  72. April 17, 2008 7:52 am

    how’s about a klondike before you go? 🙂
    GP In Montana

  73. April 17, 2008 7:58 am

    GP in Montana: HA! YES!!! gimme something yummy – last rites – last meal. yes! 🙂

  74. April 17, 2008 8:03 am




  75. April 17, 2008 8:07 am


  76. April 17, 2008 8:12 am

    i’m prayin’ for you Mandy.

    Yes. that’s the right thing to do.

    I am praying for your safety and well being.


    because when i find a way out there…you’re gonna need it.

    i’m just sayin’


  77. April 17, 2008 8:14 am

    Don’t you fret nun either Mandy,

    Tam won’t kill you for what you said…

    I figure she’ll let you sweat a while first.. then make you squirm a little, before cooking you slowly… Missoura Women are MEAN when they’re riled up! 😉

    Pity it’s my bed-time now – i’m gonna miss me a mite of the fun while i’m-a sleepin. 🙂

    Skitch her, Tammy Jo !

    ( “Down! cousin Merle – you’ll get a lick o’ the corpse when it’s dun kickin’ ” ) 🙂


  78. April 17, 2008 8:14 am

    I like to point out (gently of course) that the “concept” of ‘middle-age’ is not supported in anywhere in scripture.

  79. April 17, 2008 8:15 am

    i love you Ric!

  80. April 17, 2008 8:16 am

    Loves got my number 😉

  81. April 17, 2008 8:16 am

    ‘Night Tam, ‘Night Mandy, ‘Night John Boy!


  82. April 17, 2008 8:21 am

    He never says ‘good night’ to me any more. sniff.

  83. April 17, 2008 8:24 am

    LOL!!!! That made me laugh out loud…seriously! Sounds like there may be some issues there:)

    Love and Blessings!!!

  84. April 17, 2008 8:25 am

    Heather – definitely some issues there!

    Ric – I will wipe your tear

  85. April 17, 2008 8:30 am

    Its just allergies.

    Moderate my other comment already.
    sheeesh, old people are so slow. 😉

  86. April 17, 2008 8:35 am

    Ric – you were doing so good.

    you had to go bring up my age.

    BUT, because I am a better person. i will go retrieve your spam.

    love you with the love of the Lord!

  87. April 17, 2008 8:41 am

    This is all VERY hilarious! 😆

    Keep on people, keep on…… 😆 😆 😆

  88. Heidi permalink
    April 17, 2008 10:29 am

    Tam is middle aged???

    Does that mean everyone over 25 is ancient??

    or is there a secret I am missing.

    Maybe the beauty secret is in the Oreos?

  89. April 17, 2008 10:57 am

    YES! It’s in the Oreos. For sure!

    When i’m all alone. I dig into them and smear the frosting all over my face as a beauty mask!



  90. Deborah permalink
    April 17, 2008 11:47 am

    So THAT’S your secret!!! I’ve been buying the wrong stuff!!! 😉

  91. April 17, 2008 11:51 am

    CAn we say she has that “Oreo Look” ”about her?

  92. Deborah permalink
    April 17, 2008 11:54 am

    I think so, I think she gives a new meaning to ‘alabaster skin’.

  93. Heidi permalink
    April 17, 2008 12:06 pm

    oh my gosh…

    I was cursing those double stuft for years of making me fat.

    Maybe its the double Latte with them!! 🙂

    I’m off to Walmart for some Double stuft Now.
    I so need the de-aging!! :):)

  94. April 17, 2008 12:20 pm

    Can we declare that Oreo is the official anti-aging solution for Blogspot and WordPress?

  95. April 17, 2008 1:45 pm

    Oreos IS the official anti-aging solution for bloggers!!!
    But, dipping or not dipping??? does the dipping make one younger? or is the anti-dipping that does the trick? i’m wondering.

    to dip or not to dip, THAT is the question!

    where’s our wise old expert to answer that question?

  96. Deborah permalink
    April 17, 2008 1:48 pm

    I think she may be in the middle of an oreo pack….

  97. April 17, 2008 1:50 pm

    hold on!

    gotta wipe the frosting off….

  98. April 17, 2008 1:50 pm


    NO DIP!

    Moderation folks


  99. April 17, 2008 2:06 pm

    Moderation, hum, new concept here! I think we need someone like Ed to clarify this one!

  100. April 17, 2008 2:20 pm

    The only M word I can think of with regard to anything chocolate is “MORE”.

  101. April 17, 2008 2:32 pm

    LOL!!! NOBODY likes moderation! 🙂

  102. April 17, 2008 4:28 pm

    The shame of it all… I’ll be praying for you all or “yaw” Going to go get my ensure now. 😉

  103. April 17, 2008 5:38 pm

    How sad!! 😦

  104. April 17, 2008 5:58 pm

    I agree Faith – why must crass commercialism raise it’s ugly head in this wonderful fun blog?

    PAPA? DO you own Oreo Shares? Or an Ad agency?? 😉

    (Pssst… Tam! Did you notice Mandy has reversed her ‘middle-aged’ comment about you??? See comment # 97…
    last line…
    FOURTH word!!! 😯

    SKitch her, Hun! This is Waww (y’aww) 🙂

    I’ll go get the skinning knife nice and sharp!


  105. April 17, 2008 6:22 pm


  106. April 17, 2008 6:25 pm

    hmmm….Love – the little instigator in you is wide awake this morning isn’t it? Wait…it was before you went nitey-nite too!

    I have a big enough heart to forgive. Even Mandy 😉

    She’s just a young one who knows not what she says or does. I can’t really hold that against her now can I? That would be…well…stooping


  107. April 17, 2008 7:02 pm

    Tam – you called me truly! I am humbled in His Sight.

    I do sincerely apologise for my moment(s) of weakness and resolve to be stronger and more vigilant (of the ‘instigator’ in me) in future.

    You Wisdom (surely received through Grace and not earned through age? 😉 ) lights my path and i can only pray it does the same for your young (-ish) nemesis – Ohhh the arrogance of ‘youth’! 😦

    Pity though, i was enjoying the thought of another Video response 😉 You collaborate so very well with Vinny!

    ( Private: for Tam’s eyes only – you are just trying to get Mandy to let her guard down before the Whammy, huh? Huh??)


  108. April 17, 2008 7:04 pm

    Bad instigator! Bad! 🙂

    Get back way behind!


  109. April 18, 2008 8:33 am

    What kind of example is that for her to set for her kids? That it’s okay to hate their daddy? I’m sorry…no matter how horrible a divorce is it’s not okay to tear another person down in the eyes of their children. IT’s not okay!


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