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A Blogger Collaberation – #7

May 4, 2008

So for those of you who are new here…Each Friday here at inProgress we all write a story together. Read HERE for more info. It’s fun. It’s chaotic. And you never know where the story will go or how someone might interpret what you’re saying.

As I was typing up this weeks story I thought that if a Psychiatrist read our work we would ALL be admitted to the nearest Insane Asylum!

We’re not right folks!

Here goes (and I don’t EVEN bother trying to make it look good with indents and paragraphs…IMPOSSIBLE πŸ˜• )

I’m sorry. But you gave me the incorrect change. Would you please tell me what i am supposed to do now? Because I like to keep all the money in my purse adding up to even numbers and with the change you gave me…I am “odd” so now what?? “Here’s a dollar – call someone who cares” said the sales-clerk. Then they rather rudely parted company and each decided to call for back up. The sales clerk called MiMi from the Drew Carey Show. And she had no clue as to where her shoes were hidden behind the cash register for the same reason her 2nd cousin was stuffed behind there shoving Oreos in her left sock, then suddenly, she farted and the entire group of people threw up. The shopper also called for back up. She called the crazy out of her mind mother of the bride who slapped the silly wife to be and headed for the toilet paper aisle to squeeze her Charmin fetish routine as vomit odor lingered not scene. She should have changed her shoes but her Johnny voos were so adorable they could not be budged from her Miss Piggy feet. And on the other side of town her husband was buying lotion for her smelly feet. Just then she realized she left her kids at the lumber yard under the 2 x 4’s so they hitched up Nellie and Bess and pulled the wagon to town. “We still drive a wagon???” was the song they sang all the way back to the used car lot where they discovered science geeks and Jesus freaks playing myth or reality. And to their surprise along came a clown screaming, “Let there be a rubber chicken in every pot and monkeys in every jar or barrel….they don’t go in jars very well.” and off to the circus Vinny goes! Step right up and don’t be shy, let me guess your weight!!! @$#%##^#!! OH MY Honey! You weigh more than my Ex! I didn’t know about the Ex – tell me. Well. He’s missing. Good – don’t look for him, he is contemplating his navel career vs. a career of politics. The navels looking pretty good at this point. Oops! Found some fuzz…so he let me dig a little more and I found my keys too! Yay!…Now he can go to The Navel Diggers Conference in Perth, Australia AND see his 4th cousin twice removed there. The thought of it made him warm and fuzzy, so after packing he got his scooter in Medford and headed for Perth he didn’t make it very far when all of a sudden out of nowhere…could it really be…His first wife also on a scooter! The closer she got the more he realized why he let her go. It was because she only had one tooth. But he did wave as she passed. Head held high, he sped toward Perth – gas can in hand and life jacket and floaties under his arm. He sped along until out of the corner of his eye he saw Sharks! OH NO SHARKS! And one reminded him of a rubber chicken without a head. He realized he hadn’t eaten anything in awhile so he reached in his fanny pack and found a Chihuahua! 😯 named Brutus – Yo Quireo Taco Bell!!! So he put him back and went to Taco Bell. Brutus begged for a Chlaupa and cat nip but since Brutus had such bad gas it was decided that they ran out of the pinto beans that he was craving so what would he do? He started yipping and Vinny had to quickly take him out. (if you know what I mean 😯 ) After business, Vinny scooted back to taco Bell and ordered a chicken quesadilla with sour cream, a taco supreme. So she grabbed some icing for the cake to add to the taco bell eats (b/c Vinny eats weird like that) and watched in horror as Vinny ate Taco Bell topped in icing meant for a cake. Later that day…after they reached Perth they found Love (insert *heart* here that won’t show up because I don’t know how to make it) waiting by the dock of the bay watching the clouds roll away, for the Hodge Podge clan that he had paid $400 to adopt. And they all lived happily ever after. πŸ˜€

7 Comments leave one →
  1. TheNorEaster permalink
    May 4, 2008 4:20 pm

    Yeah. Well. Okay. Thank goodness I missed most of this F-in-F.

    I don’t want to be committed! I don’t want to be committed! I don’t want to be committed!

  2. May 4, 2008 4:25 pm

    Dude! Have you watched your video’s??? You are SOOO gonna be committed!

  3. TheNorEaster permalink
    May 4, 2008 5:33 pm

    [In Mr. Glove Voice:] “Umm….Umm…Well…Well, why would I be committed…? Can’t we just be friends…?”


  4. May 4, 2008 5:59 pm

    Too funny. I’m so bummed I missed this one!

  5. May 4, 2008 6:13 pm

    You do so great Tam – The FIF program is neat.

  6. May 4, 2008 10:13 pm

    I can’t believe so much took place in my home town! – I gotta get out more! πŸ˜‰

    HUGE love to all of you! and especially to the special blogger who made it all possible!

    (The sharks aren’t as bad as they’re made out to be – the snakes however….) 😯


  7. May 5, 2008 12:00 pm

    Hilarious! Love Friday’s!

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