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Random. I mean. Really Random.

May 6, 2008

Last week I drove an extra 15 minutes out of my way on the journey home with my son. Kota had stayed home from school but wanted to drive out to pick up some work so he didn’t fall behind. On our way back he asked if he could show me the route his Bus takes. Sure. Why not. And I get to spend this time with my guy! He pointed out where his crush lived. His face lit up! We stopped in front of her house and just stared at it for a while. I think I could hear his heart beating! I love young “love”!

Tell me. Are you one of those people who leaves cupboards and drawers open? Why? WHY?!! You’re already there! You just opened it with your hand. Stay for a fraction second longer and close it too! Please. Really.

Lots of things creep me out. Swaying swings on an empty playground. Men with mustaches, cut off jean shorts who drive Trans-Ams or Corvettes. But one shoe in the middle of the road really creeps me! Right now on the highway just a few blocks from me is a mans boot. Laying there. In the middle of the road. Does he not realize it’s missing? Is there a foot in it?Β  πŸ˜•

I hate really don’t like cutting hair. I cut my families hair. I’m good with that. It saves us money. I’m really good with that! But it never, ever fails…one of the 1/4″ stray hairs will always find it’s way into my bra. And ladies. You KNOW what that feels like. A mini dagger. Poking you all day! And I’m a digger. I’ll go in after it. Anywhere! I’ve been known for causing double takes for this…inchurchfatherpleaseforgiveme

Summer is coming ladies. I have a tip for you. When you’re lounging around poolside in your suit and have to take a potty break…one thing here. If it’s a long break, just remember that you might have a red toity impression on the backs of your legs. So when you return to strut your stuff at the pool – all will know exactly where you’ve just been

I’m just sayin’

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42 Comments leave one →
  1. TheNorEaster permalink
    May 6, 2008 12:10 pm

    “just remember that you might have a red toity impression on the backs of your legs. So when you return to strut your stuff at the pool – all will know exactly where you’ve just been…
    I’m just sayin’.”

    AH HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!

    Only you, Tam. Only YOU.

  2. May 6, 2008 12:22 pm

    Young love: Secretly, you know why I hang out with young adults? They love to talk about their crushes. *tear. It is so cute.

    Summer is coming: To that tip, I have just one response. Wow.

  3. May 6, 2008 12:26 pm

    Cupboards and drawers – one of my pet peeves! I am forever on my 3 kids about closing cupboards and drawers. I’m with you – how hard is it to take that extra second!!

    Shoes in the road – recently in my town a woman was struck by a vehicle while walking home from the bus stop after dark in the rain. The driver was unsure what he hit and got out to look but couldn’t see anything in the darkness and downpour. The impact knocked her out of one of her shoes and into a ditch. Several drivers reported seeing a pink shoe in the road that night but thought nothing of it. Police found her body the next morning and medical examiners determined she might have survived her injuries if found sooner. I’ve not been able to look at a random shoe in the road the same way since. I’m sure I just did nothing to alleviate the feeling of creepiness!

    Bra digging – could be worse….you could be doing the undie-wedgie-pick I’ve observed far too frequently by both sexes! That is so uncool! ‘Tis way cooler to do the walking-shake-one-leg or bowlegged-half-crouch to loosen it!

    Ring around the rear end – too, too funny and too, too true! Tam, you are like the Martha Stewart for people who have REAL lives!! This is what those little skirts you wear over the bottom half of your swimsuit were designed for. In fact, there’s a little rhyme to help you remember this tip: “After you c**p, it’s best to wrap”. (yeah, I know……potty humor…..the whole splinter/beam thing….guilty as charged….in the words of Adam “But, Lord….she started it!”).

  4. May 6, 2008 12:40 pm

    One of the beauticians that trims my three hairs wears a tight neck apron so that she doesn’t have to look for those prickly cut hairs after cutting my hair. That keeps her abreast of her hair cutting business.

  5. May 6, 2008 1:01 pm

    OK..I totally know what you mean about the one shoe in the middle of the highway. It creeps me out, too. I thought I was the only one! Whenever I see a shoe in the middle of the highway, the most erie horror movie music begins to play in my head. I wonder: Where did that shoe come from? Did somebody get hit by a car with such force that it, literally, took him right out of his shoe? Because I have heard of that happening. I begin to look for other ‘clues’ as to what could have happened. It’s freaky…..and I’m starting to freak myself out, so I gotta go now.

    LOVED the RANDOMNESS!

    Love and Blessings…

  6. May 6, 2008 1:48 pm

    Toity impressions! I have NEVER thought of that!! What would I do without you Tam:) What we all do without you?!

    And cupboards…can’t STAND them to be left open! Because when I was about 6 years old, I was “hopping up” on the counter top for something (like I should have been doing that) and the cupboard was open and the corner of it jammed right into my head. Blood, pain, stitches. And I just don’t like the kitchen looking “undone”. Looks like that enough without any help.

    Oh, I cut the fam’s hair too. Cut hair, take shower. No stray hairs:)

  7. May 6, 2008 2:19 pm

    red toity impression?!?! THAT is awesome! i’ll be on the lookout this summer.

  8. May 6, 2008 2:26 pm

    LOL @ the summer tip! I have never thought of that. Of course I also don’t have a pool and only get to go swimming either when we’re on vacation or in an indoor fitness center pool :-S

    Swinging swings in an empty playground–definitely creepy! I have no idea why but it reminds me of that movie “The Forgotten.”

  9. May 6, 2008 2:36 pm

    Yeah! for all of the above. A towel around the waist works wonders at the pool. I NEVER strut anything around the pool, so fortunately I’ve always been safe. See where strutting gets you? SEE????

  10. Heidi permalink
    May 6, 2008 2:49 pm

    Tam-

    How bout finding a bra in the center of the fwy, just today on hwy 805. hmm i wonder if she had the purple undies to match? teehee..

    SO true about the potty ring. Lounge chairs do the same demon!! trust me!!

  11. May 6, 2008 3:17 pm

    i’m about to spend a week at the beach with my in-laws. now i’m gonna be staring at ladies’ butts all stinking day.
    😯

  12. May 6, 2008 3:21 pm

    Where your mind goes…wow. 😯 πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜€ πŸ™‚ πŸ˜‰

  13. May 6, 2008 3:28 pm

    I saw SO many toity lines in HI! And you can’t help but(t) stare at them!

    Me=Deer
    Booty Toity Lines=Headlights

    that’s just the way it is. So girls…please me aware!

    Seriously. Does any one else ever dig in to their bra to retrieve whatever it is poking or tickling them?

  14. May 6, 2008 3:32 pm

    I leave the cabinet doors open. 😯 Sorry. I just do. You and Jake can email about how much you this about me. πŸ˜† I don’t know why I do it, but I do. Usually my hands are full, but not always. Laziness I tell you. Laziness in it’s finest form. πŸ˜†

  15. May 6, 2008 3:32 pm

    How much you hate this about me.

    But I’m sure you figured that out. πŸ˜‰

  16. May 6, 2008 3:33 pm

    I dig in my bra. No worries. Mine is usually for food crumbs of some kind from the kiddos. ;-0

  17. May 6, 2008 3:34 pm

    CRAP! I can’t type today!

    πŸ˜‰ is what I meant. But this is what I mean right now. πŸ‘Ώ

  18. May 6, 2008 3:34 pm

    And how about one more just for comment ho g fun eh?

  19. May 6, 2008 3:43 pm

    Closing cabinets is essential – especially when 2 people don’t even fit in the kitchen!

  20. May 6, 2008 3:48 pm

    very true Kristie! I’ve had many injuries because of that!

    I blog page won’t load in 😦

  21. May 6, 2008 4:16 pm

    You mean the “ring around the butt” you get from sitting on the toilet too long? Funny that you’ve noticed it while lounging poolside…that IS random HA!

    You mentioned seeing shoes freaks you out last week…is this the same shoe that is still in the road? Or a different shoe on a different road?

  22. May 6, 2008 4:20 pm

    its STILL in the road. i just saw it again.

    Goose chills all over!

  23. Heidi permalink
    May 6, 2008 4:24 pm

    The bra digging part.. oh yea.

    Especially in the hot summer when your sweaty and it starts to itch. uGH!!
    BUt loose hair is the worst!!!

  24. May 6, 2008 4:26 pm

    i dig in my bra.
    i do…
    but NOT in public. dang

  25. May 6, 2008 4:33 pm

    Hmmm….. I really don’t have anything to say to this. 😯

  26. May 6, 2008 4:34 pm

    ok, fine yes I dig in my bra. After hair cuts and any other time I feel a stray hair. I lose soooo much hair, so it’s super tempting to dig anytime, anywhere…including at work in front of customers! I’m obsessed with the stray hairs.

  27. May 6, 2008 4:41 pm

    Heidi – YES – Sweaty Bra Time and stray hairs = not good. at all.

    Mandy – puleeze! I will break you YET.

    HW – hmmmm…..

    Carrie – Ha! i have long hair so when im pulling one out it can last forever. there’s no being discreet abou tit.

  28. May 6, 2008 4:41 pm

    AHHHHAHAHAHAHA!!!

    I’M SORRY!!

    HIIIIIIGHLY inappropriate – but I just can’t bring myself to fix that.

    now THAT is a funny error!

  29. May 6, 2008 4:46 pm

    Hysterical!!!!

  30. Heidi permalink
    May 6, 2008 4:54 pm

    LOL ~a LITTLE humor does the mind good!!!

    Where are my Depends?!!

  31. May 6, 2008 7:37 pm

    A litle random humour?

    I think you’ve gone potty! – I can even see the ‘mark’. πŸ˜‰

    I thought Brent was the one in the family good at pulling one out?

    πŸ˜†

    <B

  32. May 6, 2008 8:09 pm

    “A litle random humour?”

    Are you questioning my humo(u)r Love????

    How can that be!?!!

  33. TheNorEaster permalink
    May 6, 2008 8:16 pm

    Oh my!

  34. May 6, 2008 8:20 pm

    you KNOW you’re laughing!

  35. May 6, 2008 8:27 pm

    I was questioning Heidi’s comment before mine – you KNOW i’d never question your humo()r TJ πŸ˜‰

    Your Humo()r is HUGE! πŸ™‚

    <B

  36. May 6, 2008 8:46 pm

    sheeze! I’m a quick one aren’t I???

  37. traciejane permalink
    May 7, 2008 3:46 am

    Tam, I don’t know what an addy is, so I am giving you this and
    maybe it will work for you:
    http://traciejane.wordpress.com

  38. May 7, 2008 4:59 am

    well done tracie! HA!!!

  39. May 7, 2008 5:27 am

    Tell me. Are you one of those people who leaves cupboards and drawers open? Why? WHY?!! You’re already there! You just opened it with your hand. Stay for a fraction second longer and close it too! Please. Really.

    Yes, that is ME.

    It drives my hubby CRAZY. I really do mean to close them. I guess that “i do it so softly that it doesn’t close completely” after saying this so many years to him, this is what HE barks back when he sees them open. Same thing with the dresser drawers.

    But that’s is just me.

    xoxoxo

  40. May 7, 2008 5:29 am

    Summer is coming ladies. I have a tip for you. When you’re lounging around poolside in your suit and have to take a potty break…one thing here. If it’s a long break, just remember that you might have a red toity impression on the backs of your legs. So when you return to strut your stuff at the pool – all will know exactly where you’ve just been.

    One word for you: Been there, done that…….

    You are the best!

    Ivy

  41. May 7, 2008 5:11 pm

    You are wonderful!! I am laughing hysterically—love it–THANKS!!! πŸ™‚

  42. May 7, 2008 5:16 pm

    Your welcome Rindy!

    Glad my crazy mind made you laugh πŸ˜‰

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