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Hide And Seek – Please Find Me

June 17, 2008

I never got all the way to 100. I always cheated. I knew my friends could hide in 10 seconds. Why drag it on any longer than needed.

I loved playing Hide & Seek. I didn’t much care for being “it”, but it was only fair that each of us took our turn.

The real thrill was in the hiding. The exhilaration. The rapid heart beat. The giggles. Knowing they were getting closer and closer to discovering you as they would call out your name. Yet…you never said a word.

But secretly, you wanted to be found.

And when you were spotted…a rush of relief flooded over you as you screamed with nervous excitement.

Do you remember?

Half the fun was being found.

We all want to feel needed. To feel purposed. Pursued.

Do you ever want to be lost…just to be found?

42 Comments leave one →
  1. June 17, 2008 2:42 pm

    Sometimes i like to get lost, to be lost.

    And when I want to be found, I am usually pretty loud and obnoxious (imagine that.)

    Maybe it’s the difference in gender… What’s Brent got to say about it? πŸ˜€

  2. June 17, 2008 2:43 pm

    Yes, but sometimes I fear I’m the only one playing.

  3. June 17, 2008 2:45 pm

    Wow, amazingly profound Tam. I think you hit on the one thing that connects human beings everywhere. We all want to matter, to belong. We all want to be found.

  4. June 17, 2008 2:54 pm

    You described all of the thoughts and emotions of playing the game perfectly. I feel like I just finished a round.

    I agree, we all (most of us anyway) really want to be found, not forgotten, and thought of as important enough to be sought out.

    Tell me, is that why most kids (under 6) will say “I’m over here…” when you’re playing with them? They don’t want to be forgotten either I suppose.

  5. June 17, 2008 2:58 pm

    I grew up on a farm – our favorite game after dark was Hide n’ Seek! – We had buildings, farm equipment everywhere! Could not hide in the buildings though! The yard light was the “goal”! Oh what fun – 5 – 10 – 15 – 20 – on & on it would go! always tried to get in without being caught – never really liked not being found – or sometimes they would forget to look for someone !! Its fun to be found or noticed – I do not like to be ignored! It can hurt!

  6. June 17, 2008 3:00 pm

    Scott – i think to a degree it is a gender thing. but i also believe in all of us is a desire to be noticed, discovered. I’m anxious to hear B’s thoughts on this!

    Julie – i feel that way too sometimes. like i’ve managed to find the ‘one’ place no one would look…

    Brad – um. i don’t think i’ve ever seen the words “profound & Tam” together between a capital letter and a period before. I’m having to let that sink in a bit πŸ˜‰

  7. June 17, 2008 3:01 pm

    Not to draw away from the profound statement that you are making in this post…

    But, it reminds me of a game we used to play called ‘sardines’. One person hides and all the others count. Then the group scatters and goes searching. When the hider is found the finder hides with them until everyone is there. Super fun! So you all end up crammed into the basement shower stall or in the crawl space under the stairs. The last finder is the next hider.

    Hope you are well, Tam. πŸ™‚

  8. June 17, 2008 3:01 pm

    Mark – “thought of as important enough to be sought out.” wow! YES!

    Papa and Mama – can i just say…i am SO glad you found me!

  9. June 17, 2008 3:03 pm

    @ng – that game made me laugh just reading about it. sounds like SO much fun!!! And i am doing quite well today..thank you!!!

  10. June 17, 2008 3:03 pm

    At the moment, I feel a little lost….but I’m looking to be found for sure!

  11. June 17, 2008 3:04 pm

    Oh, I am glad to hear it. πŸ™‚

  12. TheNorEaster permalink
    June 17, 2008 4:16 pm

    Right now, I am so lost I just want to be found.

  13. June 17, 2008 4:42 pm

    Ok.. So allow me to elaborate with a hymn.

    Amazing grace, how sweet the sound ….. I once was lost, but now I’m found. ..

    Yes Tam you have hit the heart of the matter. God will seek us to the ends of the earth. We just have to want to be found…

  14. June 17, 2008 4:44 pm

    Angie.. I just caught your comment again….

    We played Sardines in a can as a family all the time. … πŸ˜€

  15. June 17, 2008 4:46 pm

    Thanks for the memories…I must have been unusual. πŸ™„

    I never wanted to hide alone. I was too afraid to be alone. The dark scared me and the fear of being forgotten…too scary for me.

  16. June 17, 2008 4:51 pm

    This is really interesting. A playful version of a post I just wrote. Your’s was more fun. Balance is the essence, isn’t it. Being part of the group, and having a break now and then…

    Great writing.

    Here’s my post if you are interested:

  17. June 17, 2008 5:40 pm

    Tam: “like i’ve managed to find the β€˜one’ place no one would look…” – I think I’ve been in that place for about 3 years now.

  18. Heidi permalink
    June 17, 2008 6:04 pm

    What’s so profound about this post is…

    He knows exactly where we are and has HIS fingerprints on us.

    It’s our Choice to be found.

    Can you imagine His giggle when He brings His hands down from His face and sees us there.

    I love being found.

    I love the rush everytime I run to His throne for a heavenly nudge. nuttin like it!!

  19. June 17, 2008 6:41 pm

    when i was TOO found i wanted to be lost. but when i’m too lost i totally want to be found.

    i teeter somewhere between introvert and extrovert. social butterfly and homebody.

    heaven help me

  20. June 17, 2008 7:08 pm

    I’m adding you to my link list. Let me know if prob and I’ll remove.

    You’re cool. Glad I found you via Kristi. Mandy is cool too. Found her via Kristi as well. Just a whole lot of coolness going around!


  21. June 17, 2008 7:14 pm

    I grew up in the church. I often wonder what my life or my understanding of grace would be like had I come to God at a later age. Had I gone through more, would God’s grace be that much greater to me?

    I’ve never wished to be found, but I’m not sure I’ve been truly lost so as to deeply desire being found.

    When it comes to the game, I have no problem staying hidden for hours. I guess it’s the competitiveness in me πŸ™‚

  22. June 17, 2008 7:27 pm

    Many of us still hide ourselves away… wondering if we will ever be found.

  23. June 17, 2008 7:35 pm

    Oh I love this post!!! I totally felt like I was playing the game….and the paralell is something I just need to process. Being pursued is the best….. and I’m in a bible study now where we talk about God pursuing us…and it is truly amazing. You give good blog!

  24. Heidi permalink
    June 17, 2008 7:57 pm

    @HW(Heidi) – you nailed It!!!

  25. June 17, 2008 8:06 pm

    Sort of. Yeah. I think so. Pretty much.

  26. June 17, 2008 9:19 pm

    interesting fact about this stegall…i have a TERRIBLE phobia of being chased, so this game was on the prompts-uncontrollable-fall-on-your-face-anxiety list, along w/ laser tag and run from your sister who’s chasing after you with a cheese cutter game.

  27. June 17, 2008 9:24 pm

    Good one, Tam!

    You made me think of the kids who are bullies in school. Some tend not to like them, not realizing that these kids are simply seeking attention. They want to be found.

    You made me think of the times when we are hurt and we try to hide from the people we love, thinking that we want to be alone, yet deep in our heart we are hoping for them to find us, to pull us out.

    You made me think of those moments when I felt so lost, I didn’t know what to do, that I simply knelt. And I’ve been found.

    Your post is very profound in so many ways. It made me think of so many parallel scenarios and experiences. It made me feel so glad that I am found.

    Thank you.

  28. June 17, 2008 9:30 pm

    honestly, I’m a bit tired of being lost. Not that I am now, but in the past and when I’m feeling out of touch with God, I consider that a kind of lostness. I just want to stay found, you know?

  29. June 17, 2008 10:13 pm

    im happy each of you got something from this post.

    as always…thanks so much for always sharing and being so open here. i love this community and our friendships.

    what a blessing!

  30. Momma Jen permalink
    June 17, 2008 10:39 pm

    Growing up we played ‘Kick the Can.’ Someone was “it” and everyone else would hide. When the ‘it’ person found you, you would have to go stand by the coffee can (usually placed in someone’s driveway) and then the ‘it’ person would go back out to find everyone else. If someone hiding came out and kicked the can, everyone “found” was free to go and hide again. We played this game in the summer and it went on for hours! (well past the street lights coming on).
    I, too, always enjoyed being found – not much different than adulthood. I hate being lost – for very long. Although, the longer being lost, all the sweeter being found is.
    BTW, thanks for the hug on Monday. Apparently my son is having the time of his life and doing just fine w/o me. πŸ™‚

  31. June 17, 2008 11:05 pm

    Tam, I just realized your Mandy’s Tam. So cool! My Mandy is

    Anywho, I just watched MTTV – so stinkin’ funny it’s not even funny.

    Your email address is not coming in at your comment. Would you please get mine from Mandy and then email me. Mandy and I have been chatting with Kristi. Sounds like you’ve been chatting with Mandy (no duh!).


  32. Debb permalink
    June 18, 2008 4:58 am

    Hi, This is my first time commenting here. But when I read this Hide and Seek post I needed to comment. I am already lost. Been lost for years…and some days all I want is to be found. I know people are looking but they seem to go right by and my voice is so silenced that I can’t even yell out at them…”Look here. You will find me. Right here, please!” And I can’t jump out in front of them because I feel so heavy inside. But yes, I just want to be found.

  33. June 18, 2008 7:46 am

    I knew it… this is your second childhood isn’t it? πŸ™‚

    except this time is the way it SHOULD have been the first time.

    Ok – so maybe if it was you would not be in the place you are now – well and truly ‘found’ in Him ( even if you don’t totally believe that yet).

    We need to have that kid inside of us Alive today – she/he holds the ‘Key’.

    On a wider note… there are so many who are lost out there – the lucky ones are the one’s who KNOW it – they at least stand some chance of becoming ‘found’.

    Even if it takes them a lifetime – or two.


  34. June 18, 2008 8:06 am

    I went a whole different route with this….

    sometimes I just want to be found by a certain person. For instance, when Jake and I haven’t been communicating that well I just want him to “find” me. I want him to notice. And when he does I want to know right then. Don’t wait days to say “I noticed this or that” b/c then I’ve felt hidden that much longer. Make sense?

    I’ve never really felt hidden from God. Or like I’m hiding from Him. I think b/c I know that’s impossible. If anything, I feel like he is ALWAYS there watching me and NOTHING I do could be hidden. This is always a good thing, but sometimes when I am pulling away, I feel the burden of this. Like “I know he’s watching, I need to do better, get things straight.” y/k? πŸ˜‰

  35. June 18, 2008 10:18 am

    This made me think about my years hiding from God in my addiction. I spent too many years being lost. I’m quite content to stay found! πŸ™‚

  36. TheNorEaster permalink
    June 18, 2008 10:19 am

    Brent said, “I grew up in the church…Had I gone through more, would God’s grace be that much greater to me?”

    TheNorEaster said, “Luke 7:47. ‘I tell you, her sins–and they are many–have been forgiven, so she has shown Me much love. But a person who has been forgiven little shows only little love.'”

  37. TheNorEaster permalink
    June 18, 2008 10:20 am

    I forgot the “Yes!!!”


  38. lazrus2 permalink
    June 18, 2008 11:56 am

    This AM I had a different kind of thought about ‘Hide & Seek’ that hasn’t really been addressed here (maybe because it doesn’t apply =)?

    But what impressed me are so many songs (many from the Psalms) that relate to ‘hiding’ in God to ‘seek’ His face.
    God hid Moses in the cleft of the rock when His glory passed by, and David often wrote of ‘hiding in His shelter ‘.

    So, I think there’s two opposite kinds of ‘hidings’: one to SEEK God and one to ESCAPE Him.
    Sometimes I think we hide from Him because we fear being ‘found OUT’ (a likely possibility in His holiness).
    Though He already knows us, maybe we don’t want to know OURSELVES like He does.

    But, as I see it, the better choice would be to hide IN Him to seek His face, see ourselves reflected there as we really are (because tho’ He’s the One who knows us best, He still loves us most !), and truly ‘find ourselves’ in HIM.

    Sometimes it’s a painful, risky process, but necessary for true change. It all reminds me so of C.S. Lewis’ “Voyage of the Dawn Treader” (I’m reading it to my dad =) where on ‘Dragon Island’ Eustace had to first see himself as he really was, and then yield to Aslan’s deep work of freeing him from the self he had come to know and hate. All the well-meaning, sympathetic friends he gained once he recognized his need still couldn’t re-create him. Only ONE could, and once he was willing to accept that there was no other way (totally ‘lost’), he was ‘found’ and delivered to BEGIN that new life.

    It’s the same with us I believe, no matter our ‘past’, and yet definitely is a process:
    hiding in Him, seeking His face, seeing the ‘dross’ surface, and giving Him permission to remove it, over and over again…
    That most often comes in the ‘fire’ that we can also run from or to … at least for a while. He will eventually ‘catch’ us though because He loves us too much not to.

    Thankful to be both utterly lost and found in HIM,

  39. June 20, 2008 7:55 pm

    Great post my friend. Hey you gonna post on Reality Chicks some day again? πŸ˜‰

  40. June 21, 2008 1:41 am

    Hey Tam… yes… I think being found isn’t it as much as knowing someone wants to come looking for me. πŸ™‚

  41. June 21, 2008 12:52 pm

    Hmm, that really is a profound insight, and something that I think is true of us! Especially those of us who are often the “rescuer” or the “comforter” … sometimes we want to see, OK, if I step back, if I’m lost, will anyone notice and come looking for me?

    (Fortunately for me, this is a frequent experience as I have the worst sense of direction in the entire world.)

  42. July 1, 2008 10:22 pm

    i so desire to feel pursued. hot and heavy, don’t care about anything else in the world, pursuit.

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