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i got something!!!!

July 24, 2008

i’m sitting here, reading blogs, at the table enjoying some lunch. my son comes over with his plate and glass of sierra mist. he sits down and within 2.2 seconds the entire glass of soda goes down. everywhere.

kota: i’m sorry mom!!! (said with worry in his voice)

me: sigh (from the worry in his voice)

God: if I remember right young lady, you have recently asked for patience and strength not to be so reactionary.

me: sigh (because i know HE’s right)

so here is a lesson. and it wasn’t so much that i realized i am reactionary (although i wasn’t this time) but the lesson was how my actions affect others.


kota and i cleaned the spill up together. and he kept apologizing. with each “i’m really sorry mom” i grew more and more convicted and aware of the person i do not wish to be.

i hugged him tightly. i apologized for being the ’cause’ of worry in his voice. i refilled his glass and praised God for being so patient with me!

52 Comments leave one →
  1. July 24, 2008 1:35 pm

    Wow for someone who started blank you sure have alot!!! Maybe that’s why it was good to be blank??? πŸ™‚ And, uh, you’re visiting blogs eh? Hmmmmm haven’t seen you…*sniff* When are we doing our giggle fest? πŸ™‚

  2. July 24, 2008 1:41 pm

    im going alphabetically. im only on the ‘b’s’ πŸ˜•

    giggle fest?

  3. July 24, 2008 1:44 pm

    this very thing happened to me last night. my 8 year old came in to the office (where I was working) and with a scared sound said that he spilled kool-aid on the couch. i am so sorry…over and over…

    I remember thinking “Debra it is only a couch” “a thing”. we went in to clean it up together and it ended up being no big deal.

    that is the mom I want to be but honestly am not always…

  4. July 24, 2008 1:48 pm

    Tam, I can so relate to this and your post was pretty convicting of exactly what I’ve been feeling: a reminder of what we don’t want to be. Reactionary? Check. Too quick to get angry over silly things? Check. Check. My own young children already have Kota’s words coming out of their mouths because I too often react (and not with grace). I just want to be able to touch the hem of Jesus’ garment and BE HEALED πŸ™‚ of it! Praying alongside you for patience and that I would treat my family with the same grace God gives us.

  5. July 24, 2008 1:50 pm

    good stuff…

    see, if you’re accident prone like me…spills like that are just something that is going to happen…i just laugh at myself and do it all again…

  6. July 24, 2008 1:55 pm

    debra – me too. how i responded today is the mom i always wanta be. and i thought that during the ‘incident’…”why cant i react this way all the time?” well. i can. i just choose not to. but in all honesty…koolaid on the couch? yikes πŸ™‚

    kelly – patience is such a toughy for me. but only in the little things. i seem to have zero tolerance with the small stuff. must stem back from my childhood and never being able to do anything right. its a chain that needs to be broken.

    jon – both my kids and brent are extremely accident prone. i mean, like, every day something breaks or goes down. sigh. why, oh why, oh why πŸ˜‰

  7. beans3bk permalink
    July 24, 2008 1:56 pm

    I thought I was the only one those things happened to I am also praying for patience and tolerance. It is easier at times to go off, I have three small ones and as I grow closer to God, I must learn patience. You did a good job, one day at a time!!
    Be Blessed

  8. July 24, 2008 1:58 pm

    beans3bk – thank you! and youre right. one day at a time. that is always a valuable point, and fact, to keep in mind. and also not to live in the regret of times in the past where we have failed. thanks so much!

  9. July 24, 2008 2:10 pm

    “I refilled his glass and praised God for being so patient with me!”
    …and he spilled the glass again!!!

    I love reading themusings of neurotic woman (is that an oxymoron?).

    remember when Kool-Aid was a powder? I spilled some when I was a kid on the living room carpet. no big deal, til I grabbed the kitchen spong to clean it up. Fortunately, there was a throw rug, so my Mom didn’t find the stain for about 3 months.

    all this to say, “fear your children!!!”


  10. July 24, 2008 2:21 pm

    bad – two words. boarding school.

  11. tahazaidi permalink
    July 24, 2008 2:22 pm

    like.. yeah!! i believe u … at first u call ur-self “”young lady”” like .. how often people call a mother of 1 YOUNG LADY … dahhh!! but secondly and on a more serious note .. u have anger management issues .. making a memory of what wasn’t even an event … it was a mere spill for crying out loud ,.. u didnt have to make the lill guy feel so .. so (wats da word i m looking for .?) embarrassed that he apologized every 2 sec’s .>!!!

    PS: consult a therapist woman.

  12. July 24, 2008 2:32 pm

    wow. thank you? hmmmm…actually. no. i dont have anger issues at all. but i do react poorly some times. but not in anger. what my boy saw was me realizing that i could respond more patiently and that was good for him to see. it was good for him to hear me apologize for the times that i respond poorly. a good lesson for us both. and im a mother of 2. 2 very well adjusted and loving (and know they are loved) kiddos.

    i dont think its ME who has anger management issues here πŸ˜•

  13. Heidi permalink
    July 24, 2008 2:38 pm

    I have one these stories from last night too, but the beginning is much different, My seven year old Isaac is finding new friends in our little complex and one of them lives across the street, with a blind hill..

    Picture me standing on the curb on one side, red mustang barreling down hill and Isaac not looking and running across. Honk!! screech.. sorry’s.. me yellin and screamin…
    isaac’s tears.. reactionary huh?

    3 hours later- chubby hands on my face..

    “momma love you to pluto?”
    I know son…
    “Momma love you to God..
    I know son…
    You’ve forgotten??

    yea I cried who wouldn’t?

  14. July 24, 2008 2:43 pm

    i love kiddos! they are so uninhibited to call it as they see it…lovingly. wow. but…i think a scream was well placed in this situation Heidi. i think anyone would have done the same thing. you’re a good mama!

  15. Heidi permalink
    July 24, 2008 3:05 pm

    Yeah.. the scream was warrantable. But I still too am a little reactionary, I need to work on it. Because the stuff I said after the car left wasn’t so hot…

    But I love God’s grace

    He reminded me through my son’s little chubby hands.

  16. July 24, 2008 3:38 pm

    I really needed to hear this today; thank you for this reminder. Also, on a side note I read through a peice of your testimony and it literally brought me to tears (I don’t often cry) but I personally have a very similar testimony, at least tangibly I have the exact same experience with this issue, abortion. When you wrote about sharing this with your daughter (my daughter is 6) and I tried to imagine that day, and it totally clicked, I need to be prepared to be completely honest about my walk prior to Christ and up to Him with my children. In my head I know this, and definately age appropriately need and desire to do this, they are all still so young that I don’t truly think about this, so again, THANK YOU for the reminder! Both on your testimony and on this post! In HIM ~ Heather

  17. July 24, 2008 4:08 pm

    Aww…Tam that was such a made-for-tv moment! πŸ™‚ LOL!~!!

  18. July 24, 2008 4:30 pm

    I am SO being the impatient Mom that my mom was today. I hate that.

    I had to walk out of the room today. For fear I would say something I’d regret.

  19. July 24, 2008 4:40 pm

    taminator…you should know better than to pray for patience. πŸ™‚

  20. July 24, 2008 4:47 pm

    Tam… So much to say in the last too posts… In your silence you listened…. πŸ˜‰

    I really need to get my wife to read your blog.

  21. July 24, 2008 5:32 pm


    God is talkin’ all over the place to me lately. And dang it if he didn’t have you talkin’ for him today.

  22. July 24, 2008 5:36 pm

    I don’t like tahazaidi. And there’s no link. hmmmm….. wuss.

    Don’t be mean to Tam!! 😯

    Really, I’m annoyed. πŸ˜•

  23. July 24, 2008 5:40 pm

    Yeah I’m with Deb, visiting blogs? hmmmm If so you would’ve seen the HILARIOUS post I did of interviewing Jake. I see a regular theme brewin’ at my place. πŸ˜†

    Also, I forgot to mention this….I can’t tell you HOW MANY TIMES milk gets spilled here. Jake and I were laughing one day at the amount of milk wasted from being spilled. These kids spill and spill and spill. And we don’t react the best. It’s annoying. Frustrating. B/c Kota’s spill multiplied like 6x (b/c they each average 3 spills….just wait til Owen starts!!) would make you crazy. Crazy I tell you! Crazy!!

    Maybe I need to consult a therapist?? πŸ˜† HAHAHA!!

  24. July 24, 2008 5:41 pm

    what the heck….two more for….a fun….

  25. July 24, 2008 5:41 pm

    hostile comment takeover.

    It’s been awhile. πŸ˜‰

    love you!

  26. July 24, 2008 5:49 pm

    Don’t you love/hate it when you learn the same lesson that your child is learning πŸ™‚


  27. July 24, 2008 5:50 pm


    Have you kicked anybody in the “junk” today?

  28. July 24, 2008 5:54 pm

    That boy can spill some stuff πŸ˜†

  29. July 24, 2008 6:06 pm

    Oh and for the record, you guys make Ozzie and Harriet look like the Simpsons πŸ™‚

  30. July 24, 2008 6:15 pm

    kids spill stuff! Moms haave bad days like everyone else..we live we learn…and God gives us the grace to do it again tomorrow.. I love me some TAM!!

    BTW- one thing reall bugs me out…people who will leave a comment and slam my girl “need a therapist” and then leave no link to read thier stuff…like get a stinkin back bone, ya know?
    (you can delete this if you want…but dang!)

  31. July 24, 2008 6:25 pm

    Darla, lets go huntin for some tahasaidi!!!

    I hate when insulting people don’t leave a link. *sigh*

  32. July 24, 2008 6:41 pm

    heidi – ahhhh, if not for Grace…where would we be? mmmm

    heather – God is good and always on time. He knows when we are ready and willing to “get it”. i just want to be willing to be willing…each day…i get closer. and also heather…you will know when it is time to tell your children. i truly believe God will make it abundantly clear to you. i am praying that even now, their hearts, and yours, are being prepared for that moment. it will be intense – it will be deep – and it can provide your kiddos with a much needed awareness of a subject matter that they will surely face head on, in some way shape or form. i pray you will have the strength to share this with them. bless you girl! i am so proud of you!!!

    ang – hehe πŸ˜‰

    mandyC- girl. then walk out of the room as often as you need to. that is wisdom i would pay for! good job!

    cathi – im not a fast learner. ask mandy pants. that poor girl has had the patience of Job with me.

    ck – do i need to come grab your wife or sump’n? cuz i totally will πŸ˜‰

    bwan & darla – i emailed that guy. havent heard back yet either. did you see his comment on my about page? what a peach! im just gonna love on him. but…if i do find a therapist i’ll be bummed, cuz he didnt leave any contact info. how will i know where to send the doctor? just being honest.

    5th – yah. makes me feel like a kid again. only with less elasticity πŸ˜• and NO – i havent damaged any ‘junk’ today. yet.

    p365 – oh sheeze, do YOU know that boy can spill or what! so you know how hard it was for me? πŸ˜€ bless his heart. and your chair is still empty. this totally sucks!!!!

  33. July 24, 2008 6:45 pm

    I’ve had the same conviction when I see my kids over-apologize because they think they’re in for a verbal spanking. Why is it so hard to stay cool and calm when correcting?

  34. July 24, 2008 6:52 pm

    i have that same conviction. i’m way too reactionary when it comes to my kids and husband. but can take loads from people outside my home with little or no reaction at all!

  35. July 24, 2008 7:02 pm

    bwan- I am so with you! that totally bugs me out! 😯 I am totally good with someone having an opinion, but own up to it! hahahaha Bwan we would get in trouble hanging out..oh yeah where is my email and forwards… just asking πŸ˜‰

  36. July 24, 2008 7:02 pm

    Tam- you are right..we need to love on these people…could i tie them to a chair first..guess not…my bad

  37. July 24, 2008 7:11 pm

    Darla, I did just send you an email….although it’s not a funny forward. It does have a link though! πŸ˜‰

    Same with you Tam!

  38. July 24, 2008 7:15 pm

    I think you handled the ” situation” well though.
    Even though we all know what you were probably wanting to say…
    but this is a ‘ family’ blog:)

  39. July 24, 2008 7:33 pm

    I’m bored. And stalking your blog.

    At least 599 of your visits today you can thank me for. πŸ˜†

  40. July 24, 2008 7:36 pm

    moments like these are a gift. the tender nudging from our Lord to somehow see ourselves in others, especially those we love and especially do not want to hurt. you see. i’m starting to see.

    i don’t want my kids to just hope i’m not gonna whack them in the head! i want them to KNOW that i won’t. there is a big difference.

    thanks for sharing. will you give kota a hug for me too…cuz I’m feeling really guilty right now! lol

  41. July 24, 2008 8:05 pm

    will you be my mom?

  42. heatherblankenship permalink
    July 24, 2008 8:22 pm

    wow, I had this type of situation happen to me lately too! It’s so convicting to see my little one react in such a guilty way…shows me how different I am from my heavenly daddy! Oh, I want to parent like Him!

  43. July 24, 2008 9:56 pm

    Wow, I think God is so looking out for my kids. I was reading Nor’s blog this week about the mess he made with the dog food in the store, and how he just laughed and walked away and left it there! And I’m thinking, yeah, God is so good, He does clean up the messes we make, doesn’t He? Isn’t that what grace and mercy are all about? Then, I dump blueberries at the grocery store the very next day. Only, I get down and pick up every single one. Can’t be leaving no mess there! And then, it’s like God is magnifying things that I say so that my plugged up ears can hear…and over and over for two days I notice that I am ALWAYS saying to my kids “don’t make a mess” or “be careful so you don’t make a mess” or “clean up any mess you make”. Like. A. Lot. Ugh. Since when did my main focus with my kids become “NO MESS”. Goodness, if that was God’s main focus with us, we’d be walking on eggshells all the time. Probably wouldn’t like Him very much anymore either. Ouch. Keeping my “mess” mouth shut now. Go ahead, make a mess so I can show you how much I love you by helping you clean it up:) Just like Tam:)

  44. July 24, 2008 9:57 pm

    oops, I mean to say that I think God is so looking our for ALL of our kids!! He sure loves them:)

  45. TheNorEaster permalink
    July 24, 2008 10:11 pm

    “im going alphabetically. im only on the β€˜b’s’”

    Hmm…maybe I should change my name to EasterNorThe? πŸ˜•

  46. TheNorEaster permalink
    July 24, 2008 10:12 pm

    But seriously, Tam…

    …THAT was THE BEST POST you have ever written!!!

  47. July 24, 2008 10:43 pm

    yea for growth. i love when parents can lay their own wills and pride down to just love on the neck of their children.

  48. July 25, 2008 10:00 am

    Great post, Tam. I am also working on patience and being less reactionary (great word!) when my kids do something human. I find that many of my reactions are based on the way my step-dads reacted to me when I was a kid. I still vividly recall some 30 years later the day I closed the tailgate on our stationwagon and the back window shattered. I stood in paralyzed fear while my step-dad screamed every horrible name he could think of at me. I really have to work hard at not allowing those sorts of things to happen with my own parenting. When they do, however, I am always quick to apologize and own up to my mistake.

    BTW, love the new blog look and congratulations on attracting what appears to be your first troll!!

  49. July 26, 2008 6:16 pm

    That was really beautiful….. brought tears to my eyes… I need to be less reactionary.

  50. July 27, 2008 2:10 pm

    WOW conviction!!! It hurts me so good : )

  51. July 27, 2008 2:24 pm

    yup. sweet conviction.

    i love life!

    what a ride!

  52. July 27, 2008 4:56 pm

    This was really great. Thanks for being so transparent. God is SO patient with us. It’s really amazing. I know I wouldn’t be that patient with me. πŸ™‚

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