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search terms can be heavy

September 8, 2008

“i’m sad after my abortion”


i get search terms like this one every day.

it breaks my heart that there are so many women, and men, burdened under their guilt and pain from abortions.

i have a mission. i have, in me, the personal experience to relate to these hurting ones. to reach out to them. there is no question of whether i am, will, or won’t. i have to! i am compelled to. i believe i am purposed to.

is there something in your life, something that you have overcome, that can minister to others? anything?

anger issues? pornography? alcohol? eating disorder? depression? physical abuse? sexual abuse?

you don’t have to answer in detail here. but would you consider that your past might have been for someone else’s benefit today? would you consider that God is just that big to use you in that way? wise enough to know you could get through it, loving enough to walk with you and lead you to the hurting ones? would you consider that a possibility? and that you might have a big part in transforming another’s life for His glory?

would you?

44 Comments leave one →
  1. September 8, 2008 10:15 pm

    Absolutely. My husband is getting ready to start a re-cap story on his blog of his struggle with a porn. addiction from the age of 13. It’s so funny because when he came clean, there were those in the religious circle of people that we knew that tried to use it against him even years later.

    What’s so funny about that is knowing that you cannot use something against someone that God has forgiven, healed, and is using their story to minister to others going through the same thing. There is no shame in admitting something you’ve been forgiven for. The shame is when you continue to live in it and hide it.

    Somtimes I think to myself of all those people that seem to be so “upright and religious” and so spiritually mature all the time is, and can never admit to weakness is, “Man, I’d love to check out the history on their computer hardrive!”

  2. September 9, 2008 1:12 am

    i’m so glad they find YOUR blog.

  3. September 9, 2008 3:38 am

    I am so ready to take this on! YES I would consider it, yes I want to act on it and yes I am ready to do it!

    wow, that kinda felt good!

  4. September 9, 2008 4:53 am

    Tam, you do have a purpose in this. Write on woman.

  5. September 9, 2008 5:28 am

    I know that my victory cry is The Lord is a mighty deliverer! Even if Satan trips me from time to time, even if in weak moments my flesh overpowers me – I AM VICTORIOUS IN JESUS CHRIST! Porn does not rule me – and I know that what had me trapped for years, and how the Lord has delivered me, is not just for me alone!

    I remember when I was being sent out from my church for deliverance training – I had a vision: It was almost like I was Peter seeing the sheet come down from heaven. For me, it was a HUGE present – pretty wrapping paper and a big bow and everything! It was coming down to me, and I got the sense that within this gift is what God has empowered me with, what he has called me to do. It was SO BIG that I KNEW it wasn’t for me alone.

    So yeah, I know my past wasn’t just for me. I know that what has happened in the past is for the benefit of others.

  6. September 9, 2008 5:37 am


    ” What’s so funny about that is knowing that you cannot use something against someone that God has forgiven, healed, and is using their story to minister to others going through the same thing. There is no shame in admitting something you’ve been forgiven for. The shame is when you continue to live in it and hide it.”

    Amen sister…can I get a witness…oooh yea!:)

    Tam: I think we need to look for oppurtunities more to share our stories, and not be so afraid of them. And its not about ” how much” we tell them, it about ” what” we tell them that makes the difference. Nobody needs to know gory details of what we have done in our lives, they just need to know that we can relate, that we can meet them where they are.

    I have been telling my parents lately, that I am going to go to school for counseling as well. I have had it on my heart that I don’t just want to work with youth, I want to work with the most ” LOST” ones…

    afterall, someone once met me at rock bottom.

  7. September 9, 2008 6:46 am

    Our pastor in a large church close to 20 years ago, made this statement about mama and papa one Sunday service during his message – “If you think you are going through difficult times with your children, you need to talk to mama and papa, they are at the max!” To this day we still share with those that are experiencing family/children issues how Christ can heal. And yes, things have changed for the better since those days. God has worked some mighty miracles.

  8. ramsey72 permalink
    September 9, 2008 6:56 am

    I have felt for awhile that I needed to share some of my story on my blog, but just haven’t quite gotten to the point where I am ready for the whole world to know it, but God is pushing me in that direction. I do know that I have been able to minister to people because of some of the things that I have gone through. It is amazing what I have learned about myself and God during the past 10 years!

  9. September 9, 2008 7:13 am

    I have blogged a few times about my ordeal with social phobia and the nightmare of that part of my life, as well as the symptoms that still haunt me. I have had a tremendous amount of feedback regarding that, and also seen search times leading to my testimony – “How to deal with anxiety” is a frequent one. Another struggle I’ve posted on is loneliness and boy, is THAT popular!!

  10. September 9, 2008 7:15 am

    Yep. Overcoming infidelity in marriage.

    That’s my thang.

  11. September 9, 2008 7:31 am

    that hurts my heart that you get that so often as a search term. 😦

    and to answer all your questions…. yes. 😉

  12. September 9, 2008 8:31 am


  13. September 9, 2008 8:44 am

    i use my past as often as God allows, to help those around me…just this week God has been challenging me with the need for mentoring and reaching out to younger guys at church that i come across through the different bands on sunday…great questions!

  14. September 9, 2008 8:47 am

    Amen. I am, will, and hope to do this with my past.

  15. September 9, 2008 8:56 am

    maybe you shold start a post abortion bible study. im co-leading one in our church for the first time.
    4 years agao i did, healing hearts and now we are doing one called forgiven and set free.
    its a way to establish freindships and safe havens, and to start working on the process of grief and pain and it gets them in the Word for them to know God loves them and really, really forgives them.
    put a page up with support groups, bible study books, etc on this blog.
    i havent been ready to delve into the details in my blog as of yet, but maybe after leading this study.
    Picture this, if 1 out 4 women have had an abortiion, than look around your church body, they had to be tons of women who need help, your help and Gods help.
    Even if they never set forth in the bible study they would know were to turn if they needed help. Because you were bold enough to step forward ad start a group.
    Everything thats done in our past can be used for someone elses benefit, thats how friendships are made, bonds created.
    e-mail me if you would like more info. on the books…….

  16. September 9, 2008 9:34 am

    I definitely have some painful, dark experiences in my past that have ministered to others over the last few years. Honestly, I believe the current season I am in is meant to be for that purpose too although it’s hard to see that right now. I do have a story to tell but I don’t know how to tell it. I believe God will give me the words when the time is appropriate.

    Love you; I praise God for your healing and that He has used you to encourage so many others who are hurting for the same reasons.

  17. Heather B permalink
    September 9, 2008 10:20 am

    Yes! I lived with depression and the desire to commit suicide for 12 years or so of my life. I was a cutter as well. God is a redeemer! I definitely use my past pain to relate to and minister to those who live in the same bondage.

  18. econmommy permalink
    September 9, 2008 10:32 am

    Healing from childhood sexual abuse, rape, a manic-depressive and suicide-threatening mom. I get to minister to others every week dealing with the same or similar issues and pray with them. I get to see healing take place at the hands of Jesus. It is awesome. Not just to see, but to experience the compassion of Christ–to suffer beside hurting people. We’re all wounded healers, acting through the power of our Wounded Healer…

  19. September 9, 2008 10:45 am



    i am not perfect and boy do i have a past. i haven’t shared it yet on my blog but i have with women who are in need of hearing it. its hard to be obedient sometimes when the Lord is telling you to basically throw yourself out there and be exposed.

    but the times that i have have been rough (no doubt) but amazingly blessed too.

    thank you for this post.

  20. russhutto permalink
    September 9, 2008 10:50 am

    my search terms are upright washtub bass.

    Seriously, though. I think for me my 2 biggest areas of challenge that I’ve been challenged to build character in and maybe help others with are:

    1) what my eyes stare at and
    2) being a PK and how not to suck at it.

    A lot of PKs I know fell through the cracks and got left behind as their parents plugged along in ministry.

  21. September 9, 2008 11:31 am

    I appreciate the openness and honesty here. WE all have baggage. I struggle with pride, especially. I feel for what russ said above. I’m active in ministry but I’d hate to think I’m plugging along to the detriment of my kids. Especially with a couple of tweenagers now and the things they face, I can’t afford to let them go without helping them to grow.

  22. September 9, 2008 11:40 am

    Yes m’am, TammyJo.

    I speak from a place of much pain. Sometimes I give details, when necessary, but mostly, just as you said, I desire to help others who are hurting. I do believe He allowed me to go through all I’ve endured and am currently enduring, for others and for His glory.

    Thanks for the reminder.

    I LOVE you, TammyJo!!

  23. September 9, 2008 11:49 am

    Hey Hi,
    I found your blog in my search and thought that you can help participate in the Life survey of what’s ultimate aim of Life.
    Here is the Link
    Please do visit my blog and participate, Thanks a lot

  24. September 9, 2008 12:35 pm

    thank you everyone for your candid answers. i will be emailing each of you this afternoon.

    the wide range of responses have really opened my eyes to the many heavy burdens people have/do carry – and that we all can play a big part in ministering to those around us.

    ‘one body – many parts’ – lets be effective in playing/living our part!

  25. Heidi permalink
    September 9, 2008 12:48 pm

    results already..

    God is awesome
    … even in the past!!!

  26. September 9, 2008 12:50 pm

    My mom and dad were drug addicts and I have been able to minister to others in similar situations, and somehow experience in that area does apply to other areas so I have been able to be there for people in various other situations. And though I did not love the time of my life, I am thankful as it has made me who I am today and as always God does work all for good for those who are in Christ Jesus.

  27. September 9, 2008 1:20 pm

    Much pain took me down before Christ lifted me up. My life goes through divorce, abuse, adultery, pornography, work-a-coholism, abandonment, substance abuse. My writing, poetry and prose, is rooted my life’s travels. I watch as people young and old, tear up as they listen to me recite a poem or tell a story. I remember being shocked at the responses when I first began to share. I asked someone, “Do you know who that is in that story?” I expected her to say either “no” or “yes, that’s you isn’t it?” Instead she said without any hesitation, “Its me.”

  28. September 9, 2008 2:35 pm

    Amen and amen.
    There are girls in the dorms that feel alone with specific struggles. I get the privilege of coming alongside of them, and in a sense put my arm on their shoulder and say, “I happen to be a few blocks ahead of you on the road. I understand what you’re going through. You’re not alone.”

  29. September 9, 2008 3:51 pm

    Funny you should bring this up… just this week as I’ve been evaluating some of the baggage in my life, it occurred to me that I’ve tried to shut out some of the things that I went through in my childhood and have not even considered how God might be able to use them to encourage others. Thanks for more pressure, Tam! 🙂

  30. September 9, 2008 4:43 pm

    Sharing our stories of what we have overcome is what our community of bloggers is all about. In reading all our post I don’t believe there is one of us how has not been guilty of at least one of the problems you listed.

    You can mark me down for alcohol and drug abuse. Depression to the point of suicide. I only stopped viewing porn when I finally realized it was an industry that feeds on sexual abuse.

    Tam, you encourged me to start my own blog, and tell my own story of overcoming. If we built one of thoese tree thingys I think you would be the base from which many stories of overcoming flow from.

  31. September 9, 2008 5:15 pm

    ed – i have sat here for a long time…just staring at your comment.

    still staring.

    i just keep thinking about when we first met. and now here we are, friends, encouraging one another, caring for each other.

    your words here…i just keep shaking my head. if i were to be the base of that tree…it would only be because i am rooted in God.

    your story about suicide gets me every time, ed. all i know is that i am so very grateful that you did not succeed. i thank God often for crossing yours and my path.

  32. September 9, 2008 6:47 pm

    Tam – Ed – You both have been a big part of papa’s life now. Ed your insight into life has been a real help when sorting out some of life’s biggest issues. Your determination to work through issues is challenging to papa – must be your age! :o)

  33. September 9, 2008 7:19 pm

    Definitely! 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 are verses I have claimed. I so want to minister to others who have walked a similar road to me. I want to be an encouragement to them and help them through the grace and power of God.

  34. September 9, 2008 8:45 pm

    I’m late to the party cuz of my new JOB!!! But, I had to say that I absolutely believe that God has brought me through some very difficult things (dysfunctional family, abandonment, porn addiction, terrible anxiety and depression, child loss) with the intention that I would use these things to minister to others and bring Him glory through sharing with others. It’s really why I started blogging. In fact, I’ve survived so many things I’ve often asked God if He intended for me to be a Christian counselor!!

  35. September 9, 2008 9:13 pm

    yes. know how…one day it will come.

  36. September 10, 2008 7:08 am

    I definitely feel a soft spot for people going through the things I’ve gone through. Suicidal depression, parental abuse, boyfriend abuse, experiencing the darkness of witchcraft and new age exploration, and all the baggage those other things spawn.

    With God there is healing. You wouldn’t think someone could come out of all that with any hope of a good life, and I’m certainly not whole, but God is slowly filling those spaces.

  37. September 10, 2008 7:23 am

    Vine and Fig posted a link to this poem this morning.

    The last stanza slams hard!

    Quite the coincidence huh?

  38. September 10, 2008 7:23 am

    Rock on!

    Someday my wife is going to be as bold and obedient about what she is overcoming right now!

  39. September 10, 2008 9:10 am

    There’s so much pain on this post and its comments. But so much victory that has been won, much to be won, and so much that we get to share with other people to testify to God’s faithfulness and healing.

  40. September 10, 2008 11:26 am

    Hey Tam, I have one in spam or moderation. When you get a chance.

  41. September 11, 2008 11:22 am

    Yes and I second what Alece said.

    In other news, I haven’t been on the computer…and so my first time on Bloglines today and it said that you had 26 posts since I was last here. Sad. I have missed you and all your amazing words. You freakin rock.

  42. September 11, 2008 1:51 pm

    Letting go … is hard.

  43. September 12, 2008 12:14 am

    The longer I’ve been blogging about my life since being disabled the more I realize that maybe that’s part of my purpose. Touching people and letting them see how this life works while still maintaining joy and humor as well. The blog started as something for me to do but just recently it has felt more like a calling.

    I dealt with an eating disorder in the past but haven’t really done anything to help others with that on a big scale. Just never felt as though I would know how to give that grace.



  1. LSOF: Our pain can heal « LSOF

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