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i think i’m numb

September 22, 2008

i just returned from one of the most incredible mini vacations.

i got to meet 3 of the most beautiful, strong and influential women in blog land. we spent thursday through monday together in a marriot in kansas city! poor town might never recover 😯

i have so much to share. so many thoughts and challenges from the weekend. but right now i am exhausted. i haven’t slept in over 38 hours πŸ˜• thanks a lot miss mandy pants!

but i’d like to know from you…

what qualities do you look for in close relationships/friendships?

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25 Comments leave one →
  1. Heidi permalink
    September 22, 2008 8:31 pm

    This is kind of a hard question for me.

    For many years I wanted MANY friends. I wanted everybody to love me.

    But over the last year or so. I found out that I wanted friends that I can INVEST in.

    That’s INVESTING my heart into.

    I heard preached just recently that sometimes with our hearts we are 90/10 givers.
    WE tell everybody 90% of our hearts, but the 10% we don’t, because sometimes the 10% is the ugliless, sinful and or more real..

    I’m now looking for the 10% friends.. Unfortunately I have only found 1 here in SD, others live a state away and others continents away.

    they are my heart holders.

  2. September 22, 2008 8:39 pm

    I’m thinking we’re going to have to give kansas city an intervention from our weekend…and in the end, they’ll make us give kristi a working GPS! πŸ™‚

  3. September 22, 2008 8:40 pm

    realness
    loyalty
    honesty
    oneness of spirit
    doesn’t just always want me without my kids (i once had a friend like that, once being the keyword also)
    somebody that I can be myself around without fear of judgement
    somebody that i just mesh with. (you know what i mean) those are the best!

  4. September 22, 2008 9:26 pm

    Well Rachel stole mine LOL, but I’ll add a sense of humor, and they HAVE to talk, I don’t like quiet people, I want to know what’s going on inside their heads! Thoughtfulness, I think I’m pretty thoughtful, and if they’re under the weather or something, I’d be the first one there with soup. And then what rachel said LOL

  5. September 22, 2008 9:47 pm

    Authenticity and a willingness to share lives. I want to know my friends. Their hurts, joys, pain.

    And if they are funny, that kinda helps.

    But not a prerequisite.

    I’m just sayin’.

  6. September 22, 2008 9:53 pm

    I’m kind of a weirdo but I have no real criteria. Seriously. I have real soul-mate kind of friends in my life, but many of them are different from each others in huge ways. I find that no matter the person’s hangups, their flaws, their perfections and their talents, there is something that inexplicably draws us to each other and keeps us intertwined, in a good way.

    I would say honesty, but sometimes that grows into a relationship. Every quality is like that; it may not be immediately evident, but if we have that insta-connection the rest usually works itself out.

    And I love the diversity of my relationships. I love that I’m not just like everyone else and they’re not just like me. There’s a freedom in knowing we’ve made ourselves family for no other reason than we’re supposed to be… and the fun and craziness and love comes from that “thing” that connects us without us even making the choice. I guess it boils down to being real and being accepted regardless.

    Told you I’m a weirdo, but that’s my honest answer. You can run for the hills from me now if you like. πŸ™‚

  7. September 22, 2008 10:17 pm

    i am really really happy for you! and i can’t wait to read your thoughts as you begin to process this all “out loud”.

  8. September 22, 2008 11:29 pm

    NO WAY! How cool is it that y’all got to hang together!! Such a blast watching your videos.

  9. September 22, 2008 11:53 pm

    The ones I saw. Okay…it is 2 here and I am missing my friends.

  10. September 23, 2008 2:12 am

    Someone who listens when you talk and talks when you want to listen/help.

    Someone who understands what you mean and either feels the same or asks questions in a desire to better understand you when they don’t.

    Someone who knows the exact right time to drop by – and when not to! πŸ˜‰ ( this is a very hard criteria to meet!)

    Someone whose smile makes your whole day! πŸ™‚

    Someone who’ll help you bury the body! (then gently and consistantly talk you into walking into the police station and then never miss visiting day) πŸ˜‰

    Someone who’ll buy a box of chocolates and ring YOU as the first person to ask over to share them with πŸ™‚

    Someone who can inspire you to do and be your very best in life. (without being a nag/show-off)

    i could go on.

    As you can probably tell – i have high standards and few real friends! πŸ˜‰

    Forever grateful you’re one of them, Tam πŸ™‚

    <B

  11. September 23, 2008 4:13 am

    I look for in friends, the same thing I look for in everyday people.
    I look for their heart, in everything, what passions they have, and what makes them
    just tick!
    I like to know their interests, I like to know the standards they have set for themselves in value and morally. I like them to be genuinely genuine, and cry or laugh at any given moment.
    I like them to think in a different perspective from everyday thinking, going outside the box for a brief time.
    I like them to have a little fun side to them, where they just laugh out loud just because the mood strikes them too, or start to sing a song, no matter what it is just because they feel like singing it.
    I like people who don’t mind laying down on the grass and just making pictures in the clouds…who appreciate rainbows, sunshine, and rain falling into their hand, I like people that have some crazy talent from the rest of the world. I like people that make everyday people want to learn from their example, in all those things, in all those qualities I have mentioned, I think with all those things, that is how I want to be too!

  12. September 23, 2008 4:55 am

    common interests – for example, mama is my best friend. We share all the same basic life interests. our value systems are the same. We communicate well – I think and are proud to be with each other.

  13. Jim2 permalink
    September 23, 2008 4:59 am

    Loyalty
    Transparency
    Shared Values
    Courage to say the tough things (in love, of course)
    Must love Ice Cream

  14. September 23, 2008 5:53 am

    To be known, and to know…

    Tam: I think I’m gonna have a hard time reading your blog over the next few days. Miss you and love you.

  15. September 23, 2008 5:55 am

    Isn’t your DO SOMETHING today Tam?

  16. September 23, 2008 6:04 am

    Someone that loves me for me, mistakes, shortcomings and all. Someone that doesn’t act one way around me and then talk down out the other side of their mouth when I’m not around. Someone who can take me for all of my quirks and appreciate the gifts the good Lord has given me. And someone who can be truly happy with me when great things come my way…almost a shared joy. I have been blessed with several friends like this. I want more!! Why are they so rare?

  17. September 23, 2008 10:16 am

    one word: jealous!

    begrudingly glad you had a great time…because of the videos.

  18. September 23, 2008 1:33 pm

    I look for someone who I can trust to tell me the truth–no matter how ugly it may be. I don’t want friends who sugarcoat something for me. I’m blunt. I want to know how they really feel about something. I want someone who challenges me to be a better person in all aspects of my life. Most important to me is that my closest friends are ones that have a relationship with God that I can learn from. I have only a handful of close friends like this. But that’s enough for me. Its easier to be really good friends with just a few people than okay friends with lots of people!

  19. September 23, 2008 1:45 pm

    stickthroughitiveness. love. laughter. tears. hugs. authenticity. respect.

  20. September 23, 2008 1:54 pm

    sooo, here it is. i’ve had so much trouble maintaining real women/girl friendships over my lifetime until the past 5 or so years.

    i’ve had more real women friendships since then than my whole life before that.

    each one is a little different and i think we all benefit from the diversity.

    one of my friends is brutally honest. i need that.
    one is so easy to be with, laidback and roll-with-it. my stressed out personality needs that too.
    another of my girlfriends just likes me for me and i don’t have to DO anything when we are together.
    one challenges me. and one allows me to pour into her.

    so, there…all of it.

  21. September 23, 2008 7:49 pm

    love for Jesus, similar core values, missions-minded, loyal, non-judgemental

    sounds like you had a wonderful time.

  22. September 24, 2008 2:05 pm

    there is no particular quality that i look for in a friend beyond acceptance. ha! so in that, maybe a forgiving heart, honesty, etc… ya, ya…guess i got some.

    enjoyed watching your vids!! looks like you all had a blast.

  23. September 24, 2008 5:24 pm

    You’ve got to be kidding — I just met up with a blog friend in Kansas City. Too bad we didn’t all get to meet up together. I met Abbie (of “All In His Design”) for the first time, and we could’ve talked all day! I guess friendships really do form through the internet —

  24. September 24, 2008 8:28 pm

    Hmmm … well, I love having friends with various personalities. It seems like I have a special, unique connection with each of my friends–different commonalities. And I tend to gravitate toward certain friends depending on what I am in the mood for–some friends for the deep heart-to-hearts, some when I just want to laugh, some when I want to be challenged and some when I just really need a hug and some empathy …

    But the common threads I look for in the close friendships are honesty, loyalty, love, and true acceptance … and the willingness to listen without lecturing or giving platitudes.

  25. September 27, 2008 1:57 pm

    Hey there! I’m finally getting to my reader (trying!) So … you’ve got 10. (!!!!!!!) I’m going to fly through, but know I love you!

    Relationships? God-likeness. Trust. Joy. Openness. Lots of things, I guess.

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