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i want your opinion…

September 25, 2008

i want your opinion on dating. no, i dont want to date you. well…are you rich?

my daughter started high school this year and this subject has been on my mind and on my heart for quite some time. so, i want to know…

how young is too young to “date”?

how do you define “dating” in this age group?

do you have, or plan to have, boundaries set in place for your children at this stage?

and anything else you’d like to share…

bring it!

31 Comments leave one →
  1. September 25, 2008 2:32 pm

    Ooh Myyyy! Here you go! It looks like papa will be one of the first to comment.

    1. She must talk to papa face to face before her first date. ( Should be an easy one!)
    2. I would think she needs parental controls that are quite structured until she is 17.
    3. When she starts driving, I would use that as a measuring tool to determine responsibility.
    4. Buy her a horse, keep her away from boys.
    5. Talk/communicate one on one – with both mom and dad. Keep an open dialogue.
    6. Dad needs to communicate big time – she is daddys girl right now.

  2. September 25, 2008 2:39 pm

    1. What is the purpose in dating in 2008? Just wondering…

    2. In dating do you mean one-on-one (and why would you do that at between the ages of 12-18) or dating in a group?

  3. September 25, 2008 2:40 pm

    I made more questions than answers… sorry

  4. September 25, 2008 2:46 pm

    exactly cheryl! those are great questions. to me, the purpose of dating is to get to know the other person on an intimate level. um…nu-uh πŸ˜•

    papa – great advice. perfect! thank you!

  5. Heidi permalink
    September 25, 2008 2:55 pm

    The question is. How mature is Kassidi? Can she handle the pressure and the novelty of dating.

    Yes, courtship is fun… but teens today (I have two) take dating so serious. If they are going to grab a movie and dinner cool, but if their first destination is inspiration point, then of course it’s mishandled. (do they still have inspiration points?)

    I love an open dialog, I love honesty, I love understanding. So if the child or children and the parent or parents all come to an agreement of BOUNDARIES.. then I think it’s fine.

    If there’s no communication.. then they are not ready…

    For us moms Tam.. We will never be ready.
    Seriously with my past, I am little skiddish about it, but I have to remember my sweet Colleen is 17, she follows after God, and I cannot hold her hand for the rest of my life. ………………….OH HOW HARD THAT IS!!!

    … but I need to let her make some decisions too. (I just wish she would clean her room!!!)

  6. September 25, 2008 3:04 pm

    Dating is supposed to be the precursor to marriage/intimacy, not to try things out like one would try on jeans…at least that’s what I think. I maybe old fashioned… My kids are in trouble! πŸ˜†

    I have no problem with getting young people learning to build healthy friendships/relationships. If my kids want to do that (mind you they are only 3 and 18 months so there is none of that going on) when they reach 16 or an age when Greg and I think they are mature enough, ….then we are coming with them on the date… too bad, so sad! πŸ˜€

  7. September 25, 2008 3:16 pm

    I didn’t really have any boundaries growing up dating-wise, other than self-imposed ones. I just didn’t date. I think anyone around Teen Mania “dated God” for a year at a time, and I made that commitment, I think, three times! I think it’s just best to figure out how to be friends with guys during this time.

    Self-imposed boundaries might be even better because then it’s not “a rule” to be rebelled against, but something that came out of the heart.

    I only dated one other guy before Daniel and that was my senior year of high school. I wish I hadn’t dated him (how cool would that be for my husband to be my only boyfriend!?) And yet, no one told me it wasn’t a good idea to date him. Nothing “really bad” happened, and he was a good Christian guy, but looking back it would have been wisdom to not enter that relationship.

    I’m not sure yet how we’ll handle these boundaries with the girls, but we take this issue pretty seriously. Even now, we don’t really let Emma hear the jokes about the little boy at church being her boyfriend. We try to limit the amount of princess stories (I know, she has a princess room…but the stories we limit) so that she’ll grow up thinking the whole pursuit of live is to find a guy and get married.

    I plan on having lots and lots and lots of open, honest discussions with them. I’ve been wanting to get this book called “Raising them pure in an impure world”.

    Thanks letting me share my heart.

  8. September 25, 2008 3:17 pm

    Okay, it sounds like some of our kids should meet when they are older for a “my parents totally don’t let me hang out with guys/girls” support group!

    Good for us!

  9. September 25, 2008 3:22 pm

    Ok…I might have a different opinion than some others, but here goes:

    1. No matter how much 2 young people love God, their emotions and hormones are out of control…so rule #1: Never be alone together. Not in a car. Not at the movies. Not at a restaurant. I learned this the hard way because kissing is just so darn fun!

    2. I have seen some awesome friends get really confused by thinking that the people they date must be the people they have to be ready to marry. It’s a church mentality that we all must be ready to say “I do” to this person in order to just date them. I have seen many young men give premature proposals…and alot of young women anguished over the fact that he hasn’t proposed after a month. Let up on the pressure. Don’t even talk about marriage at the age of 12 – 17…it’s just way too confusing.

    3. I agree with Indian Lake Papa…he must know what he’s talking about.

    Good luck…this will be a very fun time in life!

  10. September 25, 2008 3:51 pm

    I have a friend who had a “never alone” rule for her daughter. I thought that was neat.

    We aren’t there yet with our kids, so I don’t have any advice based on experience as a parent.

  11. September 25, 2008 3:59 pm

    I’m with Judy. Here’s our snap shot:

    – group dates ONLY
    – at a defined location, eg: we drop off at start, pick up at end, must be chaperoned (sorry, we don’t have drivers quite yet, so we are still on easy lane on this one… no pun intended)
    – if one of our young men would like to exchange, “I like you, you like me’s” they, a) must speak with the young ladies father to ask for blessing [eek, I know in this day and age, but yup, that’s us], b) must guard heart

    Not fool proof. But where we’re at. If any tips, please share.


    PS: Please pray for our community. We are having a rough season (see blog).

  12. September 25, 2008 4:06 pm

    You are giving me heartburn…the thought of my little girl dating….yikes!

  13. September 25, 2008 4:15 pm

    I have very strong opinions on this personally so I do have ideas of boundaries we would set up, however I think every kid you need to tailor it to. I think that high school dating should be avoided. If my child likes someone I will encourage them to hang out with them in groups and see what develops over time. If after some months they are still interested and very serious about more then we would probably have the girl or boy over and see. When I was in high school almost all high school relationships were pointless and only translated to hurt. I have now seen a very few mean something and actually end in a fruitful marriage so I know I have to keep my mind open to that for my child. But, if it is a just now and only now feeling then it isn’t a good idea. And when your child is dating there still needs to be some boundaries there to help keep them accountable. Anyway that is my two cents or probably more.

  14. September 25, 2008 4:22 pm

    JudiFree: If Kass does what mama and I did she will be fine – we wrote each other 300 letters before we ever met!! We raised a daughter who challenged us – but has become a wonderful Christian lady who has a wonderful Christian family – they have an adopted boy from Siberia, a bio girl, and are adopting from China as well. Kass is smart, has a Christian family – thats not said as a plus – that’s said as a warning – she still needs structure and control. Help her with her decision making – don’t put it all on her.

  15. September 25, 2008 4:24 pm

    My rules were: I had to be 16 to be in a car w/ a guy buy myself. I practiced self control…for awhile, but I didn’t have any guidance on this issue. My parents never talked to me about what might happen or how I could handle it. I had no boundaries set up.

    I have a friend who had an interesting curfew rule. Each morning, he would grab the paper & whatever time it said sundown would be, that was his kids’ curfew. That way they wouldn’t be in a car w/ a newbie driver when it was too dark out.

    I would say until she’s 16 or 17…only group dates. After that, it could be negotiable.

  16. September 25, 2008 4:24 pm

    In High School, I read both of the books by Joshua Harris “I kissed Dating Goodbye” and “Boy Meets Girl.” While I don’t agree with everything he said in the first book, it was good to see how his rules changed once he was actually in the position of trying to follow out with his rules. It is also a great book to learn how to enter into a Godly relationship with another.

    I kind of disagree with Judifree, about dating for marriage. I think that dating someone is supposed to be with the intention that you are looking for a partner in the future. Someday in the future. I don’t think dating is supposed to just be for fun, while it can be, I’ve always thought of dating as a way to get to know a person to see if you fit together, and if you don’t you shouldn’t drag it on simply for dating’s sake.

    In my high school many of the kids were “serial daters” which I disagree with. I think you should always strive to get to know a person on a “friend” level first before entering into the “dating” and “boyfriend/girlfriend” stage of a relationship.

    That being said, I didn’t have many strict “parental” boundaries imposed on myself, I think I made more strict rules for myself than my parents did. And I think having an open discussion with your daughter where, she can make her own rules, and you can edit as needed (and explain why if necessary) would have a much better follow through on her part in the future, rather than you telling her how it is, with no open dialogue.

    As far as dates go, I think until 17 or so, all dates should be “group dates” with more of an emphasis on getting to know each other than being “intimate”. Once she hits 17 or so, I think one-on-one dates would be fine in public settings.

    Okay, I’ve written quite the novel. Signing off now πŸ˜‰

  17. September 25, 2008 4:31 pm

    1) Highschool kids are just that: kids. IMO their not mature enough to handle the deepness of serious relationships…but that’s what they throw themselves into.

    2) Talk to her about how precious her heart is and how that every time she gives it away to someone it’s an opportunity for them to hurt it or to cheapen relationship. If she dates a bunch of guys then it’s more status quo than special. Don’t we all (as humans) want to be in real relationship from the get go. I mean who wants to have their heart trampled on?

    3) My guidelines were (for me) and will be (for my children) that if they can’t drive, they don’t date. I think it’s a good goal to work towards. When they turn 16 they can begin to hang out with friends (group date). Obviously, it all depends on the child’s maturity.

    4) This may sound harsh but if we let our kids date at an early age are we teaching them about the treasure of relationship? Or are we showing them how to move from person to person casually? I think as parents we should teach our kids that dating is a big deal. And it’s not just something to do because everyone else is doing it. I’m a pretty young hip cool guy and I’m appalled at some of the bad choices parents make when it comes to letting their kids go out. It’s only reinforcing the idea that relationship isn’t precious, that it’s something we breeze through.

    5) I may be way OLD FASHIONED on this too. But when I first started “dating” my wife, from the very first date, I told her that I wanted to marry her. Not a silly puppy love kind of infatuation, but a mature commitment to spend the rest of my life with her. I was able to make that commitment because I knew her for years before. I saw her character, I knew her family, she was the type of girl I wanted to marry. So from day one, I asked HER, if she could see us 50 years from now as a couple…it might have put her on the spot a little, but it just shows that you CAN view dating as something that leads to marriage. For that to be an option though, you have to teach kids that they would probably be better off not dating people they don’t know. Sure, it’s common knowledge that you date to get to know someone better, but doesn’t that seem like wearing a blindfold while trying to hang sheetrock – hammering your thumb over and over again?

    All this advice summed up in one word: PATIENCE.

    Teach your kids to be patient. Love is a choice, not a feeling. It’s commitment. And contrary to popular belief (around the blogosphere) we are able to love truly because GOD loves us, and loves through us, not because “love takes balls.” sorry, had to throw that last jab in there, because I think it’s a ridiculous “church” marketing campaign. Google it.

  18. September 25, 2008 4:55 pm

    yeah! What papa said!!

    Good luck Tam – if she weren’t so dang beautiful you wouldn’t have this to deal with!

  19. Heather B permalink
    September 25, 2008 5:04 pm

    ok, so I don’t have a teen, but I work with them so here is my two cents!

    how young is too young to β€œdate”?
    I def think its too young to date one on one if you can’t drive. After 16, group dates will protect somewhat…but honestly if kids are gonna mess around, nowadays they will do so in a group as well as one on one. Around my neck of the woods, kids get together in groups to have oral sex….not to mention a lot of other things. So, depending on what the kids maturity level is, moral boundaries are and quality of friendships would determine a lot for me!

    how do you define β€œdating” in this age group?
    Dating is an interesting creature with the kids I have experience with. It could mean an exclusive relationship OR it could mean I am dating a lot of people. Most kids do not have the intention of getting to know a person who them may marry in the future. It’s a here and now thing with no thought as to how this relationship could potentially affect their future.

    do you have, or plan to have, boundaries set in place for your children at this stage?
    I plan to have strong boundaries in place for my daughter…the times coming soon… she is 9. I know that she will not be dating until she is at least 16 but that may change depending on what her maturity is…and her ability to stand up to strong persuasion.

    As far as anything other things to share… my own experience… I dated only a few people before my husband. I knew at 14 that I would marry my husband so I did not waste a lot of time with other relationships. The ones I did date, I was very guarded with my affections. and I was NOT physically involved with them.
    I think it’s important to talk to our kids about what they want in a spouse and to begin to pray for their future mate.

    Ok that’s my huge opinionated sermon!! haha πŸ™‚

  20. September 25, 2008 5:16 pm

    From a teacher’s perspective:

    1. Simply sit down with her and ask HER opinion. Ask her the same questions you asked us. She will see that you trust her and that you value her input.

    2. Set rules in stone. Curfew. Phone call updates. Setup a “freind night” with just girls and a “date night” that involves guys.

    3. Group dates only at this age.

    4. Seek out church activities that could involve a date.

    5. Trust her

  21. September 25, 2008 5:35 pm

    Only group dating through High School, and he can’t even think about it (at least seriously consider it) until he is 16. J has to ask the permission of the parents before doing so. Same for Em. Although J says she can’t date until she is 30. She says thats fine since she is just going to live at home forever. Yikes. Also, I’ve been trying to talk about romance and saving it until one is betrothed. No “wasted” kisses etc.

  22. Jennifer Griffin permalink
    September 25, 2008 6:18 pm

    I agree wtih a few others….NO alone stuff until …until married! We are into the old fashioned courtship. πŸ™‚ Our guys are little but these are issues we settled long ago. I want whoever our boys bring home to do alot with us and the boys with their family. As parents we are responsible for guarding the hearts of our kids. We are to lead them, guide them each step of the way until they are adults. I know I was 24 when I married my husband but, it was awesome knowing that we waited. It was NOT easy but, we made it!

    I’m sure keeping that communication going is so important. She’ll probably freak out when or if she reads this blog!! :O)

    OH…does Brent have a shotgun? He can always use it to stand at the door when a fellow comes to pick her up? πŸ™‚

  23. jemaldesai permalink
    September 25, 2008 9:33 pm

    I am a high school boy and though never dated anybody, looking…I beleive in, positive dating i.e. exchanging of thoughts & inner bruises …which we cannot share with our siblings or parents or teachers…it cools down the unwanted fire

  24. September 25, 2008 10:13 pm

    First off…girls are different than guys.

    Second…trying to control a kid by banning something after 16 is counter productive in my thinking.

    Part of living a redeemed life is learning through experiences. I think the parents that ban dating after 16 are just asking for a rough relationship with their child later in life.

    Of course…I could be wrong.

  25. September 25, 2008 11:39 pm

    best to remember… i have NO kids and did not have my first solo date/gf till i was 19!

    sooo…(lots of good opinions above btw) πŸ™‚ i think it is ridiculous to put an ‘age’ as being too young to date. Every one of us are unique individuals and grow in different ways at different rates – we don’t suddenly gain the ability to form an intelligent loving relationship once we hit 21 or 18 or 16 or 14 (Juliet (of Romeo and Juliet) was 13 at the time of her death). Ok – not a good example πŸ˜‰

    You and Brent an Kass will ‘know’ when Kass is a) interested in and b) ‘ready’ to date – and when she is able to engage in good discussion with you concerning HER future. The sooner you can engage her in that conversation (before her hormones kick in and peer pressure ‘tells’ her stuff she may be under-prepared for) the better.

    SO when is too young – definitely before you have had that conversation (many conversations?) with her is too young, but the sooner after the better… when SHE ‘feels’ ready and you can convince yourselves she is responsible enough to not do anything TOO ‘stupid’. πŸ˜‰

    As to what is dating in this age group (in these times) ? my personal view would be to distinguish between young kids going out as ‘friends’ where differences between males and females are largely dependent upon what their favourite activities are, and the kind where it is the sexual ( male/female) difference that is the distinguishing factor where they can learn how to relate to the opposite sex with some level of underlying sexuality/love for one another as a potential partner.

    i am NOT recommending a date as a way to experience a sexual relationship – just as a way to develop the skills we all acquire in dealing with close friends of the opposite sex.

    There is a problem though with young children ‘learning’ what the boundaries are – which is that to learn where they ‘stop’ often means they first exceed that point ! And that is what all parents fear and wish for their off-spring to avoid – to not make a mistake that has serious consequences for the rest of their lives (such as marrying the ‘wrong’ person or getting pregnant/becoming a very young father or having a heart ‘damaged’).

    i believe if we truly care for our children we will set a good example for them and hope that they grow up with the values we have demonstrated to them (oh -ohhh!!) – not just the ones we WANTED to show them.

    i also think there can be a benefit in the ‘old style’ principle of having a ‘chaperone’ on a date – someone who can be trusted to be there as a help in times when hormones or inexperience can get an otherwise good pair of kids into an unwanted situation.

    Trust is important and we have to develop that with and in our kids (by demonstrating, not just saying it) but we also have to be realistic and recognise that even the most trustworthy of Kids will from time to time find themselves in a situation they are ill-equipped to handle. A chaperone can better equip kids with that until such time as they can learn all the ‘good’ responses to situations that develop of their own accord while dating.

    i would say dating (with agreed boundaries) is essential for the growth and maturity development of our kids and the sooner they begin (assuming an ‘appropriate’ level of maturity of the individual child) the better – hard as that can be on the parents πŸ™‚

    Personally i don’t feel anyone ihas developed the emotional and hormonal maturity to have kids before their brain finishes it’s physical development at around age 25 ( varies a little) but if dating can be arranged so that possibility is eliminated then i say – go fr it! πŸ™‚

    As for the last one.. none of my kids would be allowed out of their rooms before they are 30! when i hope to have formed their brains and personalities into indestructable little warrior versions of me! πŸ˜‰

    Hope that helps some? πŸ˜‰


  26. September 26, 2008 3:21 am

    Hope I’m not too late. Let the atheist have a go.

    How young is too young to β€œdate”?
    Easy. She is too young to date if she doesn’t feel ready to date and for about a year after.

    How do you define β€œdating” in this age group?
    Ah, that first flush of hormone induced confusion, surreptitious glances, blushes and love notes. Innocence and exploration of what it means to extend the meaning of “me” to include another. Oh and kissing.

    Do you have, or plan to have, boundaries set in place for your children at this stage?
    I trust that I have raised my children to place their own boundaries and stick to them. No inter-gender sleep overs though. Not till they pay rent.

    and anything else you’d like to share…
    Try not to enforce your rules. The zeitgeist has moved on in the last 20 odd years and opinions among the youthful will not match your opinions. Instead share your concerns and trust that your children will have learnt enough from you to honour them when they make sense. You have the experience to share and the wisdom from that experience but everything is new and interesting for a youth. The forbidden is often enticing and rebellion is an attractive choice where there is disagreement. Rather than driving your child away by forcing them to conform (the stick) you can entice them to understand your views and appreciate your wisdom (the carrot) and so avoid some uncomfortable situations.

  27. September 26, 2008 7:09 am

    Kass is to young to date. That’s my opinion. πŸ˜† hahahaha!!!!

    Okay this totally reminds me of something funny that happened my freshman year of highschool. It was my first school dance and mom didn’t want to let me go. She finally gave in and said “if you see any older boys dancing withouth their shirts on, you tell me.” πŸ˜† Oh man that is funny to think back on.

    I can see where her worry came from now. I was 14 (!) and going to school with boys who were legally adults at 18. I think that would cause any mother of a daughter to feel very cautious. πŸ˜‰

  28. September 27, 2008 2:39 pm

    Wow. Big question.

    Well, I am married … don’t have kids. So … I’m in the sorta middle stage, I guess.

    I didn’t date anyone before my husband. Okay. Well, I went out with one guy about … 5 times. Definitely don’t call it dating.

    Anyway. But I didn’t give my heart and time to anyone but the man that is now my husband. There was one guy that made a serious run for my heart (that was a HARD year!) but I knew I couldn’t date him.

    Why did I make these decisions?

    Well, that’s what I had in my heart. When I was 10, i remember being in school, and the teacher’s daughter burst in unexpectedly in tears. Class was put on hold while the teacher comforted her daughter. After the daughter left (she was 15 I remember) the teacher said, “That was my daughter. She just broke up with her boyfriend.” I remember thinking, “What a waste! All that emotion, time, energy,everything … all to have the whole thing broken up and gone.” I determined I did not want to be in a position to waste my time and emotion that way, and asked God, “Father, please keep all those (relationship) influences away from me until I can handle it.”

    Do you know what? He did! Quite clearly. Now, you have to understand, I was a boy-crazy girl growing up. There were very few stretches of time in my life from age 6 up (yes, 6) that I didn’t have a crush on some boy. So it wasn’t that I just wasn’t interested. Quite the opposite; you might say I was rather consumed with the notion of falling in love and getting married. I feel as though I wouldn’t have been strong enough on my own to withstand the temptation of a relationship with a boy/guy/man, if God hadn’t been constantly protecting me from myself. Boys were blind. They just were. Every single boy I ever liked … never liked me. Or possibly were too scared to ever say anything. I don’t know. But the only ones who ever actually approached me were the ones I could totally turn down without a second thought.

    I had a dream. I had it in my heart from very young to be married, and as the years went by that dream built and built. Somewhere around age 18 or 19 I was talking to myself and God about my dreams for being married, and the husband I would have, and out of my heart poured this image of the man I wanted. It wasn’t an intellectual “Um, I like blue eyes, so I definitely want that.” It was a spiritual image of a person. I felt that this man that I described was a real man somewhere in the world and I had put words to it. I grabbed a paper and wrote down everything I had said. I kept that (still have it) and read it from time to time – but the image of that person stayed in my heart, measuring every man that came by against it. Every man was a no. This was so frustrating sometimes, but I knew there wouldn’t be multiple yeses. Just one.

    The day I met Ben, the very first thing I thought when I saw him walking towards me was, “Oh boy, this one’s going to like you.” Real spiritual, huh? Well he hired me (Ben was the manager at the restaurant I was walking into for a job) and over the next few months I got to know him. I could tell a lot of things about him right away. For instance, I knew within a week of knowing him that he was a Christian. Even though we didn’t talk about anything remotely related for months. He didn’t even have the ‘usual’ evidence: he smoked, swore; didn’t go to church; was just breaking up with a serious girlfriend. But I could tell that his spirit was alive. As I got to know him more … I didn’t really fall in love with him … but I began to admire and like him more and more. And even though I wasn’t really asking … I never heard a ‘no.’ I remember one day – he had been on vacation for 9 days. The day he came back, I saw him across the restaurant. My head wanted to go say hi and tell him my friend’s baby was born. My spirit quite literally got giddy. I could tell the difference. A part of me stepped back, looked at my spirit and thought, “Whoa. What is that?”

    That July, we had been talking one night. I knew I really liked him, and I could tell he really liked me. But I wanted a definite. Ben hadn’t asked me out yet, but … my heart needed to know which direction to take. I talked to God about it and came to this: “God, I could do everything – everything I know (about him) I can handle. But I won’t be two ways about Israel. He has to have the same heart about Israel that I do.” Now, Israel was very big in me at that time (still is, but … really at that time) and I knew that many things are judged by God based on how they respond to His people and His land. I could not walk down a road (considering that I expected ministry and … HUGE stuff in our life that would effect nations) that divided over Israel.

    Well, within two days we were talking again, and I mentioned that I had been to Israel on a trip. Instant passion spread across his face, and he said, “Ohhhhh…. what was that like? I’ve always wanted to go there!” And I knew I had my yes.

    The path with my Ben has not been easy or a sweet bed of roses. It is WORK. Dedication. Commitment. Humility. Selflessness. We are both of us a work in progress. But he is without a doubt my partner in this life, and I know I can walk the road in front of us with assurance. Every day I see this more and more.

    So what is my idea about godly dating? I think some things will be different for every person. But I believe taking the time to consult the heart of God; painting a picture of the heart (not the body! – although God knows that too) of a spouse you can respect and work alongside will go a long way toward weeding out all the imposters who are thrown in your path to try to trip you up. Satan’s not dumb. He knows that women are persuaded by emotion and relationship, admiration and attention; and men are persuaded by sex and beauty; admiration and flattery. He does tempt with these, and if we know how to see past the guise, we won’t be fooled by a counterfeit.

    Wow, that was long. Didn’t get to all your posts. Gotta run! I’ll try to finish tonight. Love you!

  29. September 29, 2008 1:16 pm

    wow. there are some seriously LONG comments on here.

    me? my husband is the only man i dated. only man i kissed. only man i slept with.

    high school seems SO young to be dating…

  30. November 8, 2010 5:51 pm

    From a father of an 11 year old daughter( rules are more of guidelines really): How young is too young to date?…21 She won’t be graduated from college til 22.
    Rules…Put fear of potentially crazy daddy in all boys at her school at an early age just like the idea of smoking is bad… start from an early age.
    Start preventative education measures early enough that she knows what they’re up to.
    Give her enough responsibility and just enough freedom to decide how to handle real problems and some predictable mistakes to clean up so that she knows that there are serious consequences for her actions and then when mistakes happen let her be in charge of the clean up but give some help to let her know no matter what I’m on her side reminding her that this was her idea and ask her what she might do better next time.
    I know these thing probably wont work (after all it is teenagers) but you can’t blame a guy for trying.


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