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the male point system

October 19, 2008

In the world of romance, one single rule applies:

Make the woman happy.

Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted.

You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…Sorry, that’s the way the game is played.

Here’s a guide to the point system.

Simple Duties:

You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets(-1)

You leave the toilet seat up (-5)
You replace the toilet-paper roll when it’s empty (0)
When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex (-1)
When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom (-2)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it’s nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it’s something (+5)
You pummel it with a six iron (+10)
It’s her father (-20)

Social Engagements

You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
Named Tiffany (-4)
Who is a dancer (-6)
And was Homecoming Queen (-8)

A Night Out

You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It’s called DeathCop3 (-3))
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

Your Physique

You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say “I don’t care because you have one too” (-800)

The Big Question

She asks, “Do I look fat?” (-5)
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, “Where?” (-35)


When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes (+5)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+10)
She realizes this is because you’ve fallen asleep (-20)

anymore you care to add?

(compliments of clean joke .com)

28 Comments leave one →
  1. October 19, 2008 4:26 am

    LOL, this is brilliant. πŸ™‚

  2. October 19, 2008 6:12 am

    looks like men are screwed. hundreds of ways to lose points, few ways to gain them.

  3. October 19, 2008 6:20 am

    hilarious! thanks.

  4. October 19, 2008 10:11 am

    you make dinner (+2 points)
    you make dinner again (+3 points)
    you make dinner again!!!! (+5 points…and a bonus round!!!)

  5. October 19, 2008 11:08 am

    you make dinner and do the dishes (+5)
    do the laundry without asking (+10)

    not making a fuss over me when you see me (-50) (this one could take all week to get back in the positive again)

    hahaha LOL this is a good one Tam…Presently Hubs is in the positive!

  6. October 19, 2008 11:20 am

    lol I had a good laugh, thank you.

  7. October 19, 2008 1:27 pm

    Ya…Ummm…I’m with Tyler.

    “You check out a suspicious noise and it’s nothing (0)”

    This one is off. If I get out of bed…half asleep and it ends up being nothing, I deserve points for doing something I didn’t have to do πŸ™‚

  8. Darla Humphreys permalink
    October 19, 2008 1:28 pm

    opening the door for you (0) points
    never putting the toilet seat up! (-15) points!
    missing the dirty laudry basket (-20) points (its right there!!!)
    putting dirty laundry IN the basket! (0) points
    Taking dirty dishes to the sink (0) points
    vacuuming (15) points
    Leaving the vacuum out (-2)
    Cleaning out the sink after shaving (0) Points!

  9. October 19, 2008 1:29 pm

    -5 points for my last comment, I’m sure πŸ™‚

  10. October 19, 2008 2:12 pm

    Brent- smile it could be -15…LOL
    you know you could post how our point system works..don’t know if we would honor it or not…but maybe πŸ˜‰

  11. October 19, 2008 2:16 pm

    I’m loving my sisters point system! Way to go DarlaH!!

    Princess- brent is already workin on his version. This should be “pointless”

  12. October 19, 2008 2:22 pm

    LOL somehow I knew he would!

  13. Heidi permalink
    October 19, 2008 2:36 pm

    You guys are cracking me up!!

  14. October 19, 2008 2:42 pm

    Love this post. Its true most of the time.

  15. Darla Humphreys permalink
    October 19, 2008 3:40 pm

    Paying for dinner (50) points
    forgetting wallet (-100) points!
    not complaining when you make him late (10) points
    picking you up late for a date (-10) points

  16. boffthewall permalink
    October 19, 2008 4:40 pm

    Love this! I’m sure most of those are true…oh how fun marriage will be one day! lol.

  17. October 19, 2008 6:11 pm

    Made me laugh out loud!!

    Thanks. πŸ˜€

  18. Jim2 permalink
    October 19, 2008 6:36 pm

    According to Robert Lewis, (Men’s Fraternity, Winning at Work and at Home, The New Eve) guys think that there is a tiered “point system” that a cruise should be HUGE points and a big diamond should be huge, but in reality, everything is just 1 point. It was an eye opener for me, it’s the daily thoughtfulness and attention that matters, not trying to score huge “points” occasionally.

  19. October 19, 2008 6:42 pm

    jim2 – thats good! very good!

  20. October 19, 2008 6:42 pm

    I was just discussing with a friend about how everything I do and say; the way I word things; my body language; everything Everything EVERYTHING I do is propelled by my motivation to keep JudiFree happy.

    Happy JudiFree=Happy MarkieFree

  21. October 19, 2008 6:43 pm

    mark – haha!!! you get 1,000,000,000,000 points for that! well done πŸ˜‰

  22. October 19, 2008 7:49 pm

    The toilet seat thing bugs me. Why is it such a big deal if it’s left up? Us men need it up, you ladies need it down. If it’s down when I get to the toilet, I put it up and don’t say another word. Can the opposite not also work for the fairer of the species?

  23. October 19, 2008 8:53 pm

    james – this is the thing. the majority of time, the seat needs to be down, right? unless you make big potty with the seat up too 😯 so let’s say between two people using the toilet…one person (woman) always uses it with the seat down and the other (dude) uses it half and half. which puts the seat down 2/3 of the time. majority. and majority rules.

    thank you. come again.


    and you get +10 points for playing nice.

  24. October 20, 2008 9:17 am

    This is great Tam. Thanks for putting it up here.

  25. October 22, 2008 8:09 pm

    I think this is my first time commenting here but I couldn’t help it …. so….

    @ James re: toilet seat…

    Why doesn’t everyone just close the lid to the toilet when they are done with it anyway? I can’t stand having the toilet sitting there with the lid up and the seat down – like it’s ready for business – anymore than I can stand having to put the seat down! I am a mom of 2 boys and 1 husband (hee hee) and I will say that the toilet thing doesn’t bother me …. because I’ve trained all my kids and my 1 husband to just CLOSE THE LID!!!


  26. October 22, 2008 8:10 pm

    @ Tam

    The whole post is absolutely brilliant. So funny. Just what I needed to read tonight!!

  27. October 22, 2008 8:33 pm

    hi sarah!

    glad you stopped by and shared. thanks!

    im with you on the lid thing. except that, you still have to touch the toilet πŸ˜• thats my problem. i dont wanna touch any of it πŸ˜€

  28. November 3, 2008 11:45 am

    too, too funny!

    “You say β€œI don’t care because you have one too” (-800)” made me laugh out loud!

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