the male point system

In the world of romance, one single rule applies:

Make the woman happy.

Do something she likes, and you get points.
Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted.

You don’t get any points for doing something she expects…Sorry, that’s the way the game is played.

Here’s a guide to the point system.

Simple Duties:

You make the bed (+1)
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows (0)
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets(-1)

You leave the toilet seat up (-5)
You replace the toilet-paper roll when it’s empty (0)
When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex (-1)
When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom (-2)

You check out a suspicious noise at night (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it’s nothing (0)
You check out a suspicious noise and it’s something (+5)
You pummel it with a six iron (+10)
It’s her father (-20)

Social Engagements

You stay by her side the entire party (0)
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college buddy (-2)
Named Tiffany (-4)
Who is a dancer (-6)
And was Homecoming Queen (-8)

A Night Out

You take her to a movie (+2)
You take her to a movie she likes (+4)
You take her to a movie you hate (+6)
You take her to a movie you like (-2)
It’s called DeathCop3 (-3))
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans (-15)

Your Physique

You develop a noticeable potbelly (-15)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it (+10)
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts (-30)
You say “I don’t care because you have one too” (-800)

The Big Question

She asks, “Do I look fat?” (-5)
You hesitate in responding (-10)
You reply, “Where?” (-35)

Communication

When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression (0)
When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes (+5)
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV (+10)
She realizes this is because you’ve fallen asleep (-20)

anymore you care to add?

(compliments of clean joke .com)