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cop car: the new school bus?

November 18, 2008

monday afternoon i received a call from a blocked number. i let it go to voicemail. after a minute i checked it and this is what i heard…

“mom? (it was kass, my 14 yr. old) Officer Brown is taking me home today for safety reasons.”

😯

what?!!! i couldn’t call back because it was a blocked number. kass sounded “fine” but not like herself.

i immediately called brent and asked him to come home so he and i, both, could talk to Officer Brown after he dropped kassidi off.

apparently the bully is continuing to hurl threats at kass, and others, but this time it was specifically directed at kass. it was good to hear Office Brown express that he knows kass is not the problem, just an innocent victim of a very unhappy girls wrath. this will be the 3rd documented threat against our daughter and no action has been taken so far. no detention. no suspension. no expulsion. nothing.

i have talked to the principal already. today, brent and i will talk to her again. if nothing has been done we will go straight to the top at the District Office.

people. the cops are having to bring my daughter home to protect her. that is insane!

i will keep you all updated. until then…what do you think should be the schools responsibility in this? how far should they go? is it their job? should they kick kids like this out? my guess is they won’t because they will lose that funding. mmmm – thats a whole other topic πŸ˜•

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46 Comments leave one →
  1. November 18, 2008 2:56 am

    WOW!!!! I think it is absolutely the school’s responsibility to provide a SAFE atmosphere. They have counselors, haven’t they sent her to one of them, and then they can recommend she see a licensed therapist, and get her life back on track. I’m wondering if this girl’s family knows of her issues and what she’s up to, where they’ve been contacted so many times, it’s a lost cause. It is just awful that you’re not really getting any support from the school, and if the cops know the bully is the problem, she’s probably had a few run-ins with them already. There’s probably no reason for her to be picking on your daughter…she might have just been in the wrong place at the wrong time! As if being a freshmen isn’t hard enough already! Hope it all works out though!

  2. November 18, 2008 3:07 am

    Holy crap. I think this is more serious then I thought. I am sorry for not dedicating more prayer to this and to your daughter. I am today though and for wisdom for Brent and you.

  3. November 18, 2008 4:21 am

    You’re darn right it’s their job! I was a victim of bullies all the way through school. I got to the point where I started fighting back, and then it was MY permanent record that was damaged. When it goes unnoticed bad things happen. I was hospitalized by the football team. That’s another story all together, but the school turned their heads, and suspended me.

    Speak up now! And, try to explain to your daughter that she can’t take this in her hands, (If she ever would) Keep her record clean, and give the school hell. They will eventually have to. OR you can call the investigative news team.. They’d have a field day!

  4. November 18, 2008 4:29 am

    Father in Heaven….

    I ask, along with all of those who love this family, that you will provide comfort and justice. I ask that you comfort Kassidi and release an angelic protection over her right now, and at all times. I ask that you, Holy Spirit, would be her Comfort during this time – but also the Judge. I ask for divine justice to be brought to bear in this situation. You love the bully as much as you love Kass, so my prayer is not justice in the sense of punishment and isolation necessarily, but that the root of this bully’s issues can be dealt with, and that she can receive the love that she so desperately needs.

    I pray that for the Hodge family they will band tighter together right now, and that you will help them to reach a state of forgiveness. I ask that YOU will provide the means by which this bully is stopped and that the school also is made to take responsibility for the safety of the students.

    I pray that the authority of God will overpower the enemy, for the word says, “For [we] have been given authority over ALL the power of the enemy, and NOTHING shall by any means hurt us.” That’s my prayer from the Scripture, Lord… and here’s another: “No weapon formed against [Kass] will prosper, and every TONGUE that RISES AGAINST [HER] in JUDGEMENT we CONDEMN…” “For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but MIGHTY THROUGH GOD for the PULLING DOWN of strongholds.” “For we wrestle not against flesh and blood, but against powers….against wickedness in high places…”

    Lord, I thank you for hearing these prayers from my heart. I stand with this family now and speak words of authority into the atmosphere. I command the spirits of torment that are attacking Kass to be bound in the mighty name of Jesus. I bind up the spirits of violence, anger, retaliation and rejection that are active in this bully, and ask you, Holy Spirit, to cause them to be inactive – and to cause this bully to come to a place where she can be set free.

    Thank you, Lord Jesus
    AMEN

  5. November 18, 2008 4:31 am

    The Superintendent should know about this. If the principal & counselors aren’t standing up for Kass (and who knows how many others) then I guess you’ll have to step it up a notch.

  6. November 18, 2008 4:37 am

    Hopefully you and Brent will discover the school’s plan’s today in response to the escalated threat yesterday. Yes, I think the school needs to step into this (and hopefully already has).

  7. November 18, 2008 4:41 am

    Where are school counselors these days? I think that little angry one could use some real help… I can’t imagine what is going on in her life to bring her to this point.

    Proud of Kass for her strength.

  8. November 18, 2008 4:53 am

    SOMETHING should have been done the FIRST time….. then you wouldn’t have had a second, let alone, THIRD time w/an OFFICER bringing your daughter home…..

    Who is in charge???

    I’ll SO be praying!!!

  9. November 18, 2008 5:06 am

    Questions: How did the officer get involved? I would think that the school had to know – get the officers report – in writing – start documenting. Put the school on notice – in writing. Go up the ladder, sounds like you are. I like prayer – but action can be and is appropriate as well. We keep our kids safe – Kass needs to be able to go to school feeling safe. I am confident you will – I would not want to be the school authority behind the desk looking into Brent’s face!!

  10. November 18, 2008 5:17 am

    first off, when i asked for you to share about your children…i wasn’t expecting this!!!

    i’ve worked with the court system for several years, both in the juvenile and adult courts…i would have to say that they must do things differently down yonder…i would be all up in whoever’s office i needed to be in, until the situation was taken care of!!!

    it’s obvious that this girl needs a little correction and guidance in her life…and she’s not getting it by seeing kass taken home in a patrol car…sounds like she needs to take a little ride in that car…and hopefully someone can get her the help she needs…

    (maybe brent needs to bring out that mullet and take care of some business!!!)

  11. November 18, 2008 5:25 am

    yes, it’s definitely the school’s responsibility to deal with this situation. good for you all for being so proactive!!! ridiculous this hasn’t been dealt with yet!

  12. November 18, 2008 6:01 am

    I think there should be no tolerance for bullying. It always leads to other things and someone gets hurt. There are some crazy people out there. It is the school’s responsibility if it is happening at school or on the bus. I think there should be consequences as well as mandatory counseling. I have a cousin with some pretty severe anger issues and his school would not let him come back until my aunt and uncle got him counseling and put on medication. I know medication is not always the answer but it helped him.

  13. heidi permalink
    November 18, 2008 6:05 am

    It’s against the law to allow a bully to bully.

    Oregon like Ca passed a State law about bullying here’s the link. Scroll down til you see Oregon.

    http://www.ncsl.org/programs/cyf/bullyingenac.htm

    They (the school district since 2004, should have enacted an anti- bullying program)

    Let me tell you I know this first hand, Colleen was being harassed last year by a bully.
    Last year Colleen got sick of it. So Colleen lost it and beat the bully up.

    Yes, I was proud but I was also mad. Colleen got arrested by the school police and was suspended for 3 days. Colleen had to serve on a counsel for 3 months on a student court.

    Now, that the bully was expelled, Colleen got her life back together and now she is one of the school Judges of this program as a senior.

    The program Colleen is involved now in is

    http://www.theiacp.org/Training/bullyingbrief.pdf

    Hopes this help. I will pray.

    Don’t back down, GO TO EVERY LEVEL.

    Kass is too important to all of us

  14. November 18, 2008 6:31 am

    Oh my goodness, I’m so sorry you and Brent and Kass are having to deal with this situation! How scary and frustrating, too!

    I definitely believe the school should be involved. As a matter of fact, I believe the school should have already disciplined this girl and resolved the issue.

    Unfortunately, I know – because my mom is a teacher in a very rough neighborhood – that schools don’t always want to (or feel able to) get involved.

    Praying for your family’s safety and wisdom…

  15. Emily permalink
    November 18, 2008 7:09 am

    I think you should find out what the laws are in your state. I mentioned before that in PA our schools must have a program implemented by the end of this year and all staff must be trained. Guidelines are set for how to document and handle such incidents. This is insane!!!!!!!!!!!!

  16. November 18, 2008 7:25 am

    Absolutely the school should get involved. They can refuse to provide transportation for a student who’s conduct is so poopy (pretty sure that’s the official legal term), to begin with, and they should have some kind of policy about bullying. But maybe they’ve not encountered this exact problem before, or ihe right people haven’t heard about it.

    Don’t be afraid to firmly, kindly represent kass’ rights.

  17. November 18, 2008 7:37 am

    That really is insane. Sounds like it’s about time to kick ass and take names.

  18. November 18, 2008 8:02 am

    I would contact an attorney who specializes in child rights to find out what Kass’s rights are. I would definitely go into the principal’s office with a clipboard full of questions and take notes about why nothing has been done, how this is a perceived threat in their eyes, what they plan to do about it, etc.

  19. November 18, 2008 8:33 am

    Being a former teacher I do actually know the rules on this one. First of all I have no idea why there has been no disciplinary action. I am very surprised by that. They may not suspend her, but there should be something and it should happen with each occurrence. I am wondering if it is a hear say thing. In other words if anyone other than Kass has heard the various attacks. That can be difficult on the school’s end as they need concrete things for severe action. If this is the case just have Kass use the buddy system for a while then she will always have a witness.
    Secondly, the school has to be on both kids’ side so they are trying to meet each need. They I hope want to protect Kass, but they want to also help this girl. The girl has the right to due process, which can take time. Kids get expelled all the time, but it is a process and just like the legal process has right to appeals and such. I don’t mean to sound all legal and everything, but that is exactly the rules in this and what each side looks like.
    Your job is to advocate for your daughter and make sure disciplinary action has been taken and will be taken each time it occurs. I will be praying for all of you.

  20. November 18, 2008 8:50 am

    I’m sure you have considered this, but what about reaching out to the girl directly and/or her parents?

  21. November 18, 2008 9:00 am

    TAM! This IS crazy. I think the school is responsible for keeping the kids safe while they are there so it is absolutely their responsiblity to kick this child out of school or take some sort of serious action.

    You’ve gotta tell us how the principal response this afternoon!!!

  22. November 18, 2008 9:14 am

    Just want you to be sure that papa and mama are praying!

  23. November 18, 2008 9:36 am

    If the school is not taking appropriate action then it should be taken over their heads. If nothing is done through the school, then I would begin to see what can be done legally. It’s sad to say, but can you get a restraining order against a kid??

  24. heidi permalink
    November 18, 2008 10:19 am

    STILL PRAYIN

  25. November 18, 2008 11:01 am

    sometimes you have to use the word “lawyer”…sad but true.

    The school is responsible for the safety of your children the hours they are in the school and on the bus..i don’t think that means a police ride home, I think that means the other child needs reprimande to whatever extent it takes to insure safety for others.

    makes me sick! I want to go to her school!

  26. November 18, 2008 11:20 am

    lots of great advice here.

    Brent and I very frustrated today. I called the principal yesterday at 4:30 and again this morning at 7:30, left messages. Haven’t heard back yet. Officer Brown is shocked today that this bully, let’s call her Ashley πŸ˜€ is in school today. It appears nothing has been done. Not that we’d know cuz the Principal, let’s call her Dr. Dorner hasn’t returned my phone calls. I am airing on the side of grace and giving her until noon. After that, Brent and I are going down and sitting outside her office until she let’s us in.

    Your support, advice, prayers and love for our family means so incredibly much to us. Thank you!!!

  27. November 18, 2008 12:19 pm

    The high school I went to has a bully problem… it’s a private Catholic school and from a Christian standpoint alone there should be strict policies in place. There weren’t and still aren’t. When I was young it seemed as though everyone had their turn… even the most popular. Part of my sophomore year was my turn for some of the people to be mean and it was awful. Dangerous awful. And in the same way as Kass, nothing was done. The principal (who was friends with my parents) did nothing… said it would make it harder on everyone to call attention to it, but the truth of the matter was they didn’t want to make the hard call.

    There is a freshman at that high school now who my family knows that has been bullied. She asked her parents to switch schools… she couldn’t stand walking into the building every day. The principal (same one as when I was there) did nothing. Two weeks ago she tried to hang herself, and she’s still in a medically induced coma at Mayo. I’m not saying this because I think Kass will do that. I’m saying it because parents have to take action, not only for their own kids but for the kids whose parents aren’t going to stand up and say enough.

    The part that angers me most? At school assembly the administration told the students no one was to blame but the girl who tried to hurt herself. Now, I don’t think any students should be singled out as responsible, but as a whole… when are we going to start teaching that we are all responsible for each other? Right now it would be a step up just to teach kids not to be mean to each other, but when are we going to start teaching that not being mean isn’t enough? When are we going to teach kindness and compassion and empathy? That girl couldn’t walk into that building and find one face that was kind to her… that’s EVERYONE’S problem. And it has to start with people making noise…

    I say GO MAKE SOME NOISE.

    Sorry, but this topic is hitting too close to home these days.

  28. November 18, 2008 12:23 pm

    Well – its about 12:20 PM now – still praying – stay with this – don’t stop until you are satisfied with the answers. Document the officer’s comment’s as well.

  29. heidi permalink
    November 18, 2008 12:51 pm

    You’d better be at her and his door right this minute…

    You have given enough grace, Now it’s time for action…

    Prayin sis!!!

  30. dardar159 permalink
    November 18, 2008 1:43 pm

    In my school if you were not suspended you were at least given “ISS” (in school suspension)

    But the fact nothing has occured over this is……..rediculous!!!!!!!!!

  31. November 18, 2008 2:09 pm

    So I’m reading this and all the comments and I’m thinking this is outrageous. For Kass to be sent home in a police car says that SOMEONE recognizes that there is a problem and that these threats go beyond empty words. Education is both a right and a privilege concerning society because if you break the laws then no one has to keep you in their school. It is clear that this young lady needs help, maybe even be put in a special school with special attention for at risk students or something. It hurts my heart to see that nothing is being done for her or the other students because I’m sure they can’t focus in class when in the back of their minds they worry if this is the day that those threats are no longer idle. I pray that something has been put into action today and that if not, you’ll be given the means and opportunity to go through the proper channels quickly for both Kass’, the young lady’s and all the children’s sake.

  32. November 18, 2008 2:10 pm

    Kass, you and Brent are doing all you can. This is, and it seems always has been, a part of school, and sadly life, that just sucks.

    Your family will get through this because you are a family. A lot of bullies don’t get very far in life because their famlies don’t provide the kind guidance Kass is getting.

    School’s do need to do more to make the classroom a safe place to learn.

  33. November 18, 2008 2:56 pm

    okay..I am not so mad now…still in a huff but not fuming.

    After reading so much advice given to you, I do agree with Bad, but our children are a gift from God to us, and I believe with all my heart that we are to do everything in our power to protect them. I would seriously push this thing past the Principal, and straight to the head of the school board. The bully needs help, and the school can see to it that she does, and that punishment is handed down, NOT reward bad behavior. And knowing Kass, I am sure it is unwarranted anger that is being directed at her, and she does not need to tolerate that behavior. I see bullying as abuse, and it doesn’t fly with me.

    I would probably call the school district head, the principal, the bus company and make sure all know that she needed to be brought home by police for her protection, and they all need to have their eyes on Kass. I am so sorry that she and you and B are going through this….I really should be there! love you all so much!!

  34. November 18, 2008 3:47 pm

    I’ve been running around like a crazy woman – behind on blogging. Trying to snap shot this together.

    The teacher in me is coming out…

    Some basic thoughts/questions:

    Can schedules/lunches get modified so they are in seperate classes/lunch period?

    Look at your school district policies/handbook on bulling to make sure you are getting full attention, and school/district is following through on what they have agreed to do in these circumstances.

    The director of student services should also be able to help you. This person is in the distict office.

    I would insist on a management plan between you/bully/school ensuring K’s safety and consequences for bully if not met.

    Again, piecing this together, but wanted to toss out some ideas. Thanks for sharing so we can pray for you.

    R

  35. November 18, 2008 4:26 pm

    SWEET JESUS! This sounds like a bad Afterschool Special!!!

    Whatever happened to school being a safe place, they keep preditors out but they have the ones inside the walls they need to root out. Why is this going on for so long? Why aren’t this girl’s parents involved and WHY is she still at this school. She should be going to Crossroads!

    The police should be taking the bully home! What the heck!

  36. November 18, 2008 5:03 pm

    No more phone calls.

    Go get in their face.

    The squeaky wheel gets the grease.

    From a teacher’s viewpoint, this is what works.

  37. Selena permalink
    November 18, 2008 5:20 pm

    I am tellling ya:

    KICK
    THE
    BULLIE’S
    BUTT

    😈

  38. Selena permalink
    November 18, 2008 5:20 pm

    GRRRRR

  39. Selena permalink
    November 18, 2008 5:21 pm

    And then pray for her

    πŸ™‚

  40. November 18, 2008 5:24 pm

    I think at this point I would be in the police station instead of the principal’s office. Let the police handle this bully. Hopefully, someone else has been a witness to the threats made to your daughter. Use your witness(es).

  41. November 18, 2008 5:30 pm

    KASS MY GIRLL!!! tell her i love herrrrr!!! no like really loveeeee herrrrr <33333 lol man i wish i could just tell the bully offf…..but i thats what GOD is for!!

  42. November 18, 2008 5:31 pm

    we FINALLY talked to the Principal today πŸ˜•

    brent and i are working on a video response now for you all.

    THANK YOU – THANK YOU – THANK YOU!!!

  43. November 18, 2008 6:49 pm

    Yes, I think the school is responsible to provide a safe atmosphere. And that means potentially harsh treatment of those who are willing to threaten that safe environment. That is what protecting is all about. (Thank you, military!) And yes, authority needs to act like authority. I don’t subscribe to this whole “the bullies need love too” philosophy. Yes, they do need love … but “the Lord disciplines those He loves.” Discipline is love, and those who need it most NEED it (I’m speaking as a professional needer-of-discipline here). So … yes, Mama … do what it takes!

  44. November 18, 2008 6:52 pm

    K, so now I read the comments. πŸ™‚ I’m glad you finally got to talk with the principal. I’ll be looking for the video. πŸ™‚

  45. November 20, 2008 9:28 am

    Wow! I’m so sorry! Terri’s daughter is dealing with this same situation right now too. I’ve been praying for her daughter, and I’ll add yours to my list!

  46. November 21, 2008 1:35 pm

    wow. this has turned into something huge.

    how’s kass’s heart?

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