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lub. my favorite word.

December 1, 2008

i lub yuuu mama!

that is exactly how kota use to say it when he was a toddler. and sometimes he’d say it with a stutter. it didn’t matter to me that he stuttered or didn’t say “love” correctly. he still loved me. i saw it in his eyes. i felt it in his hands that cupped my face.

[sigh. as i’m writing this, kota comes over, kisses my head and says…i love you.]

sniff. where was i?

all i really want to say is…there are so many ways to express love to each other. love is the most beautiful resource we have. we all have it in us to give out. and it goes far beyond just words. not that expressing it in words isn’t important – but showing love can be one of the most meaningful, impacting and life-changing things we can do for one another.

this is the time of year where depression and loneliness abound. people have memories of loved ones who are no longer with them. some are spending Christmas for the 1st time without their kids. others just may not see any cause for joy or celebration and may turn to alcohol or other drugs to numb the pain. maybe a mama’s little boy is over seas fighting in the war.

so what part can we play? how can we show love to them?

what i’m asking for you all here is to put our heads together and come up with practical ways we can extend love and hope to those around us who are hurting and maybe just don’t feel lovable, or worse yet…don’t feel worthy to be loved.

can we do that? anything. just throw out anything. let’s see what creative things we can come up with.

love. it’s the best gift we can give.

27 Comments leave one →
  1. December 1, 2008 5:10 am

    If we know someone like that (and I think we all probably do), I think we should give them a call, see how they are doing, maybe invite them over to hang out in our Chaos, and pray for them…show them the love of Jesus..the unconditional kind, the kind that says you don’t have to smile if you don’t want to. oh and I lub you too!

  2. TheNorEaster permalink
    December 1, 2008 5:14 am


  3. December 1, 2008 5:36 am

    I send cards. A lot. People really like it.

  4. December 1, 2008 6:02 am

    I send my girls to the elderly lady in our neighborhood w/ treats about once a month. But even more during December. Her hubs died YEARS ago & her kids live far away. We’ve invited her over, but she’s never accepted.

    We could snow blow people’s driveways, bake a pie, clean the snow off of their car, ask if they need anything at the store since you’re going anyway, take them a homemade ornament from your family craft night, invite them to watch your kids at the church Christmas sing along.

    OMW – let’s ask what CAN’T we do for a lonely neighbor, friend or acquaintance. Anything at all could be just the thing that lifts their spirits.

  5. December 1, 2008 6:08 am

    You really should work for Hallmark.

    How to love those around us? Well, we have a lot of families here at seminary that are far away from home without the resources to get home… Many many families band together for Christmas, having dinner together. Caroling together. Baking cookies together. Parties together. We all do what we would do with our families, but we do it together. We invite each other into our worlds, into our homes, into our hearts.

  6. heidi permalink
    December 1, 2008 6:47 am

    With technology, we can email, blog, and write, text and do whatever.

    But with our hearts, leaving an extra 10 with the waitress, bringing in a plate of cookies to your dentist, or slippin a $20 in the widow’s purse at the church.
    Inviting that family you have looked at all year round for a lunch or dinner.

    But I know resources are low at this time of year, mine are too. This is my challenge for me.

    I get a 3X5 card, write someone’s name on it, (Sally) carrying it around with me ALL day, and pray and PRAISE over it all day. I know it takes work, but I’d rather someone tell me that they truly prayed over me ALL day, then a plate of Christmas cookies (well maybe just one; especially if fudge is involved).

  7. December 1, 2008 6:48 am

    I think we need to look people in the eyes as we give them a friendly greeting. It doesn’t have to be a person you know. As we’re out shopping for family and friends, be nice to everyone.

    And for those we know…ask them how they’re doing and LISTEN as they respond. Take time to care about the details they want to share. A cup of coffee and conversation always speaks volumes to me.

  8. December 1, 2008 7:01 am

    What Michelle said – simply paying attention in this world is HUGE.

  9. Jim2 permalink
    December 1, 2008 7:39 am

    Yes, attentiveness and genuine concern – and when you tell someone you’ll pray for them, stop what you’re doing and do it right then!
    Easy to say, hard to consistently do

  10. Darla Humphreys permalink
    December 1, 2008 7:55 am

    You could invite a lonely stranger for Christmas dinner!

    You could express extreme joy; I find its really hard to be in a bad mood when someone is really positive and nice to me.

  11. December 1, 2008 8:22 am

    Have you seen my last couple posts on my blog, Tam… they’ve all been about specific characteristics of love – love is a hait, an action, a skill… not a feeling… and we’re thinking specifically of love being an action here. HOW do I show love? It’s practical, but not tangible – I strive to be a FRIEND to all – especially those who come seeking my help. People sometimes just need permission to cry, shout and scream… and then someone who can lead them to the One who can make it all better!

  12. December 1, 2008 9:18 am

    Give strangers a smile!!!!! 🙂 🙂 🙂

    Serve at a soup kitchen

    Share the wonderful LOVE story of JESUS 🙂 It’s the best love story that exists!

  13. December 1, 2008 9:23 am

    I must say… after reading your post again and the responses again I’m gettin emotional in a public place Lol… I’m crying because I’m filled with Joy… a few days ago I was one of those lonely people who hated the holidays because I tend to forget to look to Jesus… and just thinkin about things to do for others really just gave me an overwhelming sense of graditude to God just for his greatness and his Love because without His love we couldn’t express love to others… and we probably wouldn’t care too much for those who don’t have anyone to care for them…

  14. December 1, 2008 9:45 am

    I send people random cards and leave notes out of the blue encouraging them and letting them know that they are loved. It really does make a difference.

    Yes, love really does need to be given out much more abundantly.

  15. December 1, 2008 9:55 am

    Like Michelle and others, it’s looking people IN the eye, smiling and greeting them sincerely. There are a bunch of people hurting, lonely, seeming invisible people that we may never know this side of heaven how much good was done with simple kindness. I like to follow with a prayer as well. Sure gets my heart and head in a much humbler place.
    thanks for the reminder!

  16. December 1, 2008 11:45 am

    I regularly notice in public places, how generally unkind people are. It blows my mind. If we let more people over in traffic, held doors open, smile and say thank you to retail staff…..heck….if we would just make more room with our carts in the grocery isle so people can get past us……I think this world would be a better place. I helped an elderly man with his car door in a parking lot the other day and he looked shocked. I think he was scared at first….but then he realized I was just helping and his face lit up. That should not have been a shock to him. In stores…I feel like I am always trying to get out of people’s way, while there just taking a day and half to pick up a gallon of milk and hold up the whole store. We’re not considerate. We’re not fair. We’re not friendly. We’re not caring. These things need to change…and then those lonely, hurting people out there might feel they have more places to turn.

    Sorry for my soap box…..

  17. December 1, 2008 12:28 pm

    I have not read the comments yet, so I am sorry if this has been said already.
    If you really really want to do this, you have only to spend time with someone. Well, that and listen. Or even not listen but go some place with them. Invite them to go to on a Christmas shopping trip together, or window shopping. Invite them to see a movie with you, out to lunch or just to “hang out” together.
    Time is a precious gift. When given, without strings attached, it leaves the person thinking… and may open the door to a new or closer friendship.

    A word of warning though – If you do spend time with someone who is hurting as deeply as you mentioned (may be turning to drugs or alcohol), do not offer to “be there” or say “call anytime” if you are not ready to make the sacrifice just in case they literally take you up on it. Spend time with them, just don’t make an offer you can’t follow through on.

  18. December 1, 2008 1:17 pm

    Praying is good.

  19. December 1, 2008 3:17 pm

    Okay, now I am singing…”all you need is Lub”..

  20. December 1, 2008 4:05 pm

    I go along with Michelle. A simple smile, a hug or just saying I “lub” you.

    Of course if also means keeping hate and anger at bay. Showing someone who does not look, act or think like we do, that we care about them.

  21. December 1, 2008 6:29 pm

    I guess I think a lot of it is about paying attention… Rather than reaching out in a way that is convenient to me, it’s about reaching out in a way someone else needs. My friends are all busy and stressed out this time of year between their shopping, cooking, kids’ concerts, etc. so I do their Christmas cards for them (design the photo card, print the envelopes, stuff stamp and mail them). It’s one thing off their plate that stresses them out. For me, the kindness is when my friends call from the store to see if I need something or a neighbor that stops by to see if I need my garbage taken out. Paying attention, really listening and seeing what the other person needs to feel remembered and loved.

  22. December 1, 2008 6:51 pm

    Encouragement is my deal. I love it. But, what I really love is taking the time to talk to people I don’t really know…..while waiting for something or standing in line. I also happen to be in a church where homeless men come and get coffee all the time. They don’t want to look you in the eye, but to just speak a word of hello and then a 2nd or 3rd or 4th sentence is pure joy!!!

  23. December 1, 2008 8:22 pm

    My heart is on this too. I was wanting to see if you made any suggestions. 🙂 Love you too!

  24. December 1, 2008 11:46 pm

    Australia is supposedly one of the best places in the world to live in (We have four of the top ten world’s most ‘liveable’ cities). Under our previous government of 11 years the standard of living increased – but not for the elderly and those who rely upon government pensions, or handouts, as some might refer to them. It increased very much for the richest in our society, but charity and philanthropy has diminished.

    But it is not dead entirely; while many prefer the god of wealth to the God of Love today there are some who come up with truly worthy goals and ideas.

    One of them was ‘adopt a pensioner’, where a family would find in their community a person who was (usually) alone, elderly and surviving on a meagre income (only just surviving in some cases – having to choose between medicines and food to eat – one or the other – and our country has a free healthcare system!), and ‘adopt’ them. Visiting them, bringing them food baskets, taking them out shopping perhaps if they could no longer afford to keep or drive a car.

    While all the suggestions others have given above have a lot of merit and could easily be afforded by most of us, showing true love to someone usually involves more than a ‘once-in-a-while’ thing – it involves a lifelong commitment to a person. It should not just be something we ‘do’ for Christmas. It should be our way of life.

    ‘Adopting’ someone who has no-one else – or no-one close – and doing it for the rest of their life, that is love.

    Another way to show love its to help someone help themselves. Do you have a business of any kind – or a skill you are good at? Then become a mentor to someone in your community, share your talent/good fortune and show them how to start a business or become more proficient at the skill you have – be a coach. Takes some valuable time but it might just save a life. 🙂


  25. December 2, 2008 6:06 am

    kota is such a sweetheart.

    i think i know where he gets it from.

  26. December 2, 2008 8:58 am

    awww. thank you alece 😉 wait. unless you mean he got it from brent 😕

    im on board with all your thoughts here. michelle and Love struck a chord with me as well. i think its easy to pass someone on the street and smile, give a homeless person 5 bucks, hold a door open for a mama of 3. and all those things are awesome. but to go even deeper, i think, is where a lot of people struggle. including myself at times. as Love said, this shouldnt be only a once a year thought. i think for us (me) to focus on outREACH solely this time of year…is no different than the unchurched attending on Easter and Christmas only to pacify their guilt of not going any other time of year. a feather in the cap i guess. a “look what i did” kinda thing.

    so i guess its about creating a habit. making caring for others a lifestyle. a natural response when the need is presented and known. heck. even if its not “known”…cuz you never know how your generosity might impact someones life.

    now. for my ideas. going into nursing homes to visit, read, sing, play games. take baked goods to your neighbors. put out and/or take in your neighbors trash cans. rake someones leaves. pay for the persons meal behind you in line. make a long awaited phone call.

    ok. birthday boy just came out…

    im off!

  27. December 2, 2008 9:35 am

    “just came out”??? 😯

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