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too close for comfort

December 11, 2008

our last home was a little farm house on 2 acres just outside of town. and when i say little. i mean liiiittle. it was just under 1,000 square feet, 2 bedrooms and 3/4 bath (no bathtub). you could sit on the toilet, shower and wash your hands all at the same time. bedrooms were literally off the main room. we couldn’t shut our doors because we used space heaters and window a/c’s that wouldn’t get into our bedrooms if we shut them off. so…there was no privacy at all. at. all.

i remember using the remote on the tv in our room and it changing the tv 5 feet away in the living room. yah. that was fun!

there were so many draw backs to this home, physically. it was inconvenient, crowded, impractical for a family of four and a dog. it was haunted. i kid you not! that’s another post! but with its negatives, it had one major positive. in the 3 or 42 years we were there, we became super, duper close! we had to. we’ve always enjoyed each others company, don’t get me wrong, but sometimes…you just need some space. well, this home didn’t offer any. so we had to learn how to embrace the fact we would constantly be rubbing shoulders. our patience grew. our view of one another changed as we saw each other more and our love for family time deepened.

one year later, a different home in the city, more space and rooms than we deserve and we still end up in the same room together! it doesn’t matter what we’re doing. each of us could be focused on completely different things – but we have to be near each other. we totally dig being close. it’s the thing i love about my family the most. we’ve learned to appreciate each others uniqunesses and differences.

just because we’re family doesn’t mean this comes naturally. it takes work. even if by force, as was in our case. what i’m trying to say is…there will always be people in our lives that rub us the wrong way – but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be able to sit in the same room with them and respect them as people. people with passions, dreams, hurts and fears…things that are real and valid to them. it may not make sense to you, but it doesn’t have to. your role is to be approachable and loving and kind. that can make such a huge difference in someones day, maybe their life. you just never know.

that is all.

and i might have to do a vlog about my ghost story 😯

19 Comments leave one →
  1. December 11, 2008 3:03 pm

    ooo,dang. didnt realize that was SO long.

    sorry 😀

  2. December 11, 2008 4:05 pm

    i love this! how cool is that though that y’all end in the same room! it’s because you’re just the coolest mom.

  3. December 11, 2008 4:22 pm

    We used to live in a very small cabin that sounds like you old house.. and yeah total togetherness! I do love closeness, that is probably where I developed that..but when adding more 4 more people to your home…I loved that togetherness too! LOL I always smile about that!

    And people are just people, man why can’t we all just get along?! 😯 sorry that slipped

  4. heidi permalink
    December 11, 2008 4:23 pm

    This is so good Tam sooooooo good.

    You accomplished this with teenagers too?!! awesome.

  5. December 11, 2008 4:26 pm

    Mama and I are living in 784 square feet right now – with my mother-in-law as well. BRing the family, we will put you somewhere! Fortunately, we too get along! Closeness has its moments!8O

  6. December 11, 2008 6:17 pm

    this was so great. and i love that your family tends to hang in the same room even if you’re doing separate things…

  7. December 11, 2008 7:09 pm

    That is great… that is probably how God intended family to be originally
    I pray to one day be able to say that about my family unit 🙂

    and Lol @ Darla

  8. December 11, 2008 8:31 pm

    That’s how it should be… you can see it in your photos and videos how much you all adore and need each other. I’m sure the close quarters helped, but it’s your hearts that ultimately did the bonding… I know a lot of families who could stay in the same room all day and not feel bonded at all. You guys did the work and you did it well.

    I loved your last pargraph… the truth is Jesus never asked us to understand each other and be like each other, He asked us to love each other. That’s so easy to remember the difference sometimes.

  9. December 11, 2008 8:50 pm

    our last home ws 1050 sq ft. I know what you are talking about.

    great post, tam. =)

    but we had a tub. our’s was built in 1928 – so this year it would have been 80.

  10. December 11, 2008 9:20 pm


  11. December 11, 2008 9:25 pm


  12. December 12, 2008 3:47 am

    We’re in the “little” stage right now–moved from all we needed and tons more to a 900sq ft apt. My guys share a room, I hear guitar practice ALL the time and we’re not even sure where to put the Christmas tree ’cause there’s just no room…

    but like you, my guys and I have become so much closer!!! Respect for each other and their “stuff” has increased, we’re more aware of all we say and do…and it’s a lot quicker cleaning! 😉

  13. December 12, 2008 6:56 am

    Our first – and current – house is also very small. About 1000 square feet, one bathroom, no basement, tiny closets. One good thing I’ve learned (and it’s only taken me 5 years – yay! ??) is to be content with less. And that’s a good lesson.

    As for your post being long…um, my blog laughs at you! Mwah-ha-ha-ha!

    Well. I don’t know that this issue really required an evil laugh. But seriously, I so envy your succinct posts, especially after I hit “post” and see just how long my 20 paragraph commentary on lint was. Why do I have so many words???

    But yeah, small houses can be good.

  14. December 12, 2008 9:17 am

    we are the exact same way. we moved into a bigger house and we all hang out in the same 20 square feet.

    I love it.

  15. December 12, 2008 1:40 pm

    i thought we were toughing it with a studio apt for the 3 of us. a simply amazing feat with the 2 teens!

  16. December 14, 2008 1:39 pm

    Love this post… so good… so true!

  17. December 14, 2008 5:11 pm

    yes, please vlog the ghost story! I love creepy things. 🙂

  18. December 14, 2008 9:19 pm

    Very cool Tam! All families should be as close!

  19. January 4, 2009 7:42 pm

    What a story! Our cozy home is an 800 sq ft town home. So … we identify. Really.

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