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10 Things: Confessions

December 17, 2008

last week i posted a “10 things” list on things i don’t much enjoy.

today – it is confession time.

1- chewing. i don’t wanna hear you chew. kthx.

2- i baked my first Turkey Thanksgiving 1991, mine and brents first “married holiday”. we had a few couples over from our college group ministry for dinner. after wards we all went to our local performing arts center to see The Nutcracker (which, btw, brent calls battle of the bulge) anyhooooo – food was ready and we were all gathered around the table. brent had the honor of cutting in to that oh-so-delectable bird only to find what??? mmm-hmmm…ALL the innards still wrapped in that flimsy paper thingy stuffed in the middle! who knew?!!!

3- when i go into my bathroom i check behind the shower curtain.

4- when i stare at a piece of fuzz or thread on the ground for too long it begins to move. therefor, in my mind, it has become a spider and i must get tissue to scoop it up, squish it and throw it away.

5- i don’t know how to pump my own gas. it’s against the law to pump here in Oregon.

6- i hate eating alone in a restaurant. i wish brent would take care of business before we get there. but occasionally doody calls and he must excuse himself, leaving me in that awkward moment of pretending like im perfectly fine with sitting at a table for 2 to 4, alone.

7- teletubbies are evil. EEEE-VULLLL i tell ya! they ain’t right people. they start bouncing around and making their high pitch little noises with those freakish eyes and all my hairs stand up!

8- i won’t sing in the shower. i sing all the time. in the car. around the house. on the worship team. but i just can’t in the shower. i’m so nervous of people hearing me. yes, i’m perfectly aware that makes no sense.

9- i’m afraid of all things cardboard. opening cereal boxes. breaking down cardboard boxes. i just know i’m gonna get a cardboard cut. and honestly, id rather give birth 12 times in one day hour, than get a cardboard cut.

10- until this week, i had no idea Yo Yo Ma was a person. i thought it was a pilates move or sumpin. but there he was on t.v.! fascinating.

ok. you’re next.

go.

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44 Comments leave one →
  1. December 17, 2008 11:15 am

    noooooooooooooooooo… you’re not high maintenance, not at all.

  2. December 17, 2008 11:17 am

    shush!

  3. December 17, 2008 11:19 am

    i refuse to enter any bathroom unless i can lock the door. even at home. this makes certain things not possible… but this is a kid friendly blog so i won’t talk about that.

    😉

  4. December 17, 2008 11:23 am

    Yesterday I got myself smacking while eating my lunch/dinner at work. I was appalled. I HATE to hear people chew or smack.

    I don’t check my shower curtain, but I check my back seat every time I get in the car. After I saw that scary movie starring the girl from the Noxema commercials, I’m always scared someone is in my back seat with an axe.

  5. December 17, 2008 11:27 am

    josh – hmm. i have no idea what youre talking about 😯

    kelli – i had major issues with using the potty after i saw Jaws when i was a little girl.

  6. December 17, 2008 11:33 am

    fair enough, but i’m not explaining it here!

  7. December 17, 2008 11:35 am

    Yeah, that noisy chewing, smacking thing is gross. I also check behind the shower curtain! Eating alone, even for 6 minutes is uncomfortable. I just mentioned that in my post for today. You’ve never pumped gas? Didn’t you drive when you lived in So Cal?

  8. December 17, 2008 11:46 am

    Oh my cow, that was an entertaining list! 🙂

    If I ever stay at your house I’m so hiding in the shower.

  9. December 17, 2008 11:49 am

    I just want to know what “doody” is. Hmmm…. it sounds kinda personal. (number 6)

  10. December 17, 2008 12:14 pm

    Poor little fuzzy string never hurt anyone and it gets scooped and squished. 😯

  11. December 17, 2008 12:21 pm

    Do you come up with these things off the top of your head, or are they written down somewhere.

    I’m sure my wife could give you a list of my quirks – but I’m blissfully oblivious most of the time.

    Well, lessee – I hate to drive over bridges. I’m alright being the passenger – but every time I drive over a bridge I visualize deliberately plunging the car over the edge.

    I hate touching my eyeballs or having them touched. Whenever I need drops my wife has to practically use vise grips to get my eyelids opened. Usually she has assistance – someone to pry my eye open; someone to administer the drops.

    I am a militant left-handed, right-brained person. I won’t use an appliance or tool if it’s right-handed only. I always switch the utensils to the left at buffets and food lines.

    I really can’t hear you talking if I’m watching football on TV.

    If I were high maintenance (which I’m not) I could admit it.

    That’s all I’ve got…

  12. December 17, 2008 12:59 pm

    I just thought of a good thing to do when Brent leaves you awkwardly alone in a restaurant to go doody. You fake a phone call or at least start texting someone. Hey, you could call or text Brent! No, that would only stall him. On second thought, leave him alone.

  13. December 17, 2008 1:29 pm

    Bad, I assure you she is not high maintenance 😉

  14. December 17, 2008 1:30 pm

    Brenda, “to go doody?” Hahaha!

  15. December 17, 2008 1:47 pm

    quirky? maybe 😕

    high maintenance. nu-uh 😀

  16. December 17, 2008 2:00 pm

    I can’t parallel park.

    I’m obsessed with index cards.

    My toenails are painted year-round.

    I don’t send Christmas cards.

    I have to go to sleep before my husband does, or I’ll freak out.

    I never had an Easy Bake oven as a kid.

    If I accomplish something during the day that wasn’t on my to-do list, I write it down and then mark it off.

    There! I feel much better!

  17. December 17, 2008 4:16 pm

    4 and 6 made me laugh out loud but number 8 I cannot live with. Cannot, I tell you. You have to stop caring if they hear. You are not a woman who belongs in a shell, Tam. For the love of Pete (not Wilson, just ‘Pete’), sing the next time you shower! Maybe you can sing praise to God that nobody was behind the curtain. It’ll be fabulous!

  18. December 17, 2008 4:39 pm

    don’t want to scare you off.

    i’ll let you discover mine when we meet.

  19. December 17, 2008 5:12 pm

    ok, I confess: I love the crap outta you, Man!

    I cannot stand the sound of cotton balls when you squish them.

    Biting on a fork sends chills up my spine.

    I get so nervous before I play piano and sing in front of people that I shake uncontrollably and thus it affects my piano playing. But I can’t talk myself out of it.

    I have mental pictures of whacking people upside the head just to hear the sound it makes.

    I could really go on and on, but I don’t want to scare you.

  20. December 17, 2008 5:13 pm

    oh yeah,

    and I’ve never ever sent a text message in my whole entire life.

  21. December 17, 2008 6:02 pm

    Ok….number 4 — same here!
    and tele-tubbies…evil yes. I know someone that used to do voiceovers for them…he’s not evil though! 🙂

  22. December 17, 2008 6:06 pm

    Went to dinner tonight with 3 other people. At one point I was the ONLY person at the table. It was quite disturbing.

  23. December 17, 2008 6:23 pm

    * I can’t stand to be in the room when someone is brushing their teeth – it freaks me out.
    * I leave the sun visor mirror open the whole time I’m in the car so I can check my lip gloss whenever I get the urge
    * I’m addicted to sweat tea – I just can’t make myself stop
    * I tap the rhythm of children’s tv show theme songs with my teeth when I’m going to sleep at night

    That’s enough – I’m weird and I don’t want to dwell on it anymore… 🙂

  24. December 17, 2008 6:38 pm

    anita? did you just set me straight??? 😯

    alece – promise? 🙂

    i have to vacuum in a different direction each time. one day i’ll vacuum going one direction…the next time i’ll go the other direction. and i actually think that is perfectly normal.

  25. heidi permalink
    December 17, 2008 7:35 pm

    ~ Don’t drink out of my cup… I’ll dump it.

    ~toilet paper in the trash can makes me heave.

    ~ If I am home alone all the lights and t’v’s are on… or else I am asleep

    ~Cold pillow

    ~ 1 ice cube in my coffee.

  26. December 17, 2008 7:58 pm

    I’m with you. I can’t stand the sound of someone chewing!

  27. December 17, 2008 8:03 pm

    I feel so guilty because I love my son and my husband, but I can’t stand hearing them make normal food eating noises. Chewing gum is a big “heck no!” in our house. I am getting the willies just thinking about it.

  28. December 17, 2008 9:42 pm

    The more i read posts like this and the associated comments of the supposedly ‘sane’ people (i know – that was a big ‘call’) 😉 listing their own – the more i become convinced this society is heading very much in the wrong direction.

    By eliminating a lot of the life-threatening challenges we all must face to survive and prosper many of us have replaced our fears of death and war and natural disaster (acts of God, for some) with those of the utterly trivial.

    Do we REALLY need to be so afraid or intollerant of things that we have to make such massive, life-modifying mountains from such ludicrously small molehills??

    Will Jesus need to come and save us from the ‘evils’ of chewing gum and the tele-tubbies this time around?

    Priorities people – priorities.

    Take a long hard look at life – yours and the rest of the people sharing the planet with you.

    Ask Mandy, Alece and others overseas to share some of the stories of the people they meet in their seminary/mission work and put life into a proper perspective. There are far far ‘better’ things to obsess about than lint.

    <B

  29. December 17, 2008 9:54 pm

    excuse me, Love. but my list by no means-means i am not concerned about real issues that are currently taking place in our world. im shocked that you would assume that, even.

    i dunno what else to say.

  30. December 17, 2008 10:47 pm

    I’m pretty sure this list of Tam’s isn’t a list of things she’s ready to kill anyone over or thinks is a priority in others’ lives… it was just silly, fun, frivilous… something we all need in our lives from time to time because we do care so much about the important things of the world. If I didn’t find humor about the little things I wouldn’t be sane enough to handle the big things.

    At least that’s how I saw the post…

  31. December 17, 2008 10:48 pm

    Oh, for the love of Tam and Pete. My husband can’t stand the sound of somebody chewing either. Do the two of you know how hard it is for your loved ones to seal their lips completely around a Pringles potato chip before they bite into it? IT’S NOT EASY!

    Tam I meant that more as a ‘warm fuzzies’ sort of kick in the pants than a harsh one. I hope that came across. 😉

    I have a little touch of organizational OCD. Just a touch. I like cabinets and drawers just so, and I may or may not have (at some point in my life) used a labeling machine to keep them that way. You cannot imagine how difficult it was for me to try to keep my husband’s sock drawer organized when we first married. We were quite a pair: I couldn’t bite into a chip without defending my lip-sealing method of sound protection (it was never good enough for him) and he couldn’t muss the sock drawer. It’s a wonder we survived it. Things got better when I stopped buying chips and let his sock drawer look like sock, handkerchief, and underwear salad.

  32. December 18, 2008 6:58 am

    I, for one, am glad that Tam runs a blog that expresses concern for both serious, challanging topics, and real, humorous smaller subjects. People can be people here! Tam, love your blog, keep being real, girl. It’s obvious to the frequent reader that you have a heart for your God and His people.

    There is a part of me that wants to dive into comment #28, but I don’t think God has me putting my energy there right now after all there are wars, disaster, etc. 🙄

  33. December 18, 2008 8:53 am

    #1 chewing kills me. I want to jump out of a window when I hear someone chewing

  34. December 19, 2008 9:08 am

    This is the first entry I’ve read of your blog, and I am just going to have to keep reading. Hilarious! I’m really glad someone else shares my checking behind the shower curtain thing. I thought I was weird! (Maybe I still am, but hey, atleast I’m not alone)!

  35. December 19, 2008 10:34 am

    haha! welcome to the dysfunction i like to call home. make yourself comfy Kayla! glad you’re here! 😉

  36. December 19, 2008 3:08 pm

    Okay, the spider-fuzz thing and the no-singing-in-the-shower thing are totally me too. The spider-fuzz thing extends to weird blotches on the wall, extra big bumps on popcorn ceilings… really, any sort of discoloration. There’s a little divot on my wall in my bedroom that I think is a slug every time I look at it– even though I’ve examined it nearly daily for the entire two months I’ve lived in my house. And yes, I sing EVERYWHERE, but I can’t sing in the shower, or make any noise, really.

  37. December 19, 2008 6:00 pm

    I’m not saying we cannot have fun – make light of serious issues in order that we not be rendered feeling powerless over them or do not have the right to individual ‘quirks’ – far from it.

    What i was ATTEMPTING to raise awareness of is that our lives are now so far away from those of the majority of this planet’s population that we, in our ‘normal’ everyday lives in the ‘West’ seem to have found new, and in comparison to everyone else (S.America, Africa, Asia, Oceania, (minus Aus – apart from their lower class citizens) almost 6 billion people sharing this planet with us, the lucky few) ridiculously trivial things to modify the way we ‘do’ life.

    as one small example: ‘I have to vacuum the carpet one way then next time go another direction’??? and this seems ‘normal’? what would happen to you if you did not? could you not? more importantly, HAVE you not? How did you feel afterwards?

    i know Tam and everyone else CARES about serious issues; i’m not saying we don’t…

    i’m saying the way we live our ‘new’ lives – or more than a few of us from the MANY posts and comments i have read – seems to be placing a ludicrously high ‘priority’ on some extremely trivial and inconsequential matters in their daily life.

    Or has every single comment i have read concerning people’s obsessive compulsive DISorder been pure fantasy and ‘fun’?

    are our comments helping ourselves and others – or enabling others to stay in a state of disorder?

    just …think about it a little… won’t you?

    And by all means continue to be funny, but don’t lose the ability to see that all ‘coins’ have at least two sides.

    <B

  38. December 22, 2008 1:49 pm

    When we went back to the States a couple months ago we sat at a gas station for who knows how long waiting for the guy to come pump our gas because it is illegal to pump your own gas here too. Yeah, but we have already been over that.

  39. December 26, 2008 10:16 pm

    ok, so, I’m shamelessly behind in my blog reader.

    If I had read this on the day it was written it would have been my favorite birthday gift ever. Hilarious.

    my crazy confession: back when I did a lot of driving alone, I used to try to drive at a pace that would make the ‘dashes’ in the dashed center line go past me in time with whatever music I was listening to.

    yep.

  40. January 4, 2009 7:31 pm

    Ha ha. Squishing fuzzies.

  41. January 4, 2009 7:37 pm

    😆

    annie – confession: you make me smile 🙂

  42. January 4, 2009 7:46 pm

    lol I’m glad lol

  43. January 4, 2009 7:46 pm

    k, those were supposed to be faces. whatthe…

    okay. got it.

  44. January 4, 2009 7:48 pm

    uh …. where are the faces??!?!?!

    Oh my!!!!!!!

    I just tried to post that first line and I got an error message from WordPress:

    You are posting comments too quickly. Slow down.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

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