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and Bajan asks…

December 18, 2008

comment #8 bajanpoet is the suggestion i get to write about this afternoon.

here’s what Bajan asked…

“On second thought, I’d REALLY like the tips on your insanely high readership ;) I’m just sayin’…. (thanks, Mandy… I was drawing a blank when I saw Tam’s request at first)

I want to hear what it is about the love songs too…. why do women cry when they’re happy? Isn’t that a confusion of emotions? Hey I guess I have my own questions after all!

insanely high readership? mmmm-no. not really Bajan. in fact, the last few months my views have dropped drastiically. it’s weird when that happens too cuz the flesh asks…am i not good enough? did i say something wrong? they don’t love me anymore? boo-hoo. ok. maybe not exactly those thoughts. but it does get me to thinking that i need to shake things up around here. perhaps?

bajan, i’ve been told my honesty and sense of community keeps people coming back. i’d like to think it’s my insanely witful ways – but then i’d rather not see the “word” insane used to describe me. wait. i used that word. what?

i love the community that has been formed here. if i’ve said it once, i’ve said it a thousand times…this is your home. a safe place to land.

love songs? i don’t think i’ve ever cried over a love song. is that weird? though i have shed many tears over music compositions, harmonious melodies and certain lyrics talking about God…but never a love song written to, or about, another person.

why do women cry when they’re happy? because it doesn’t happen often. they’re really tears of shock 😯

okie dokie. that wasn’t so hard. and i might address more of the questions from others next week.

so. how about your thoughts on love songs, why women cry “happy tears” and secrets to your readership?

14 Comments leave one →
  1. December 18, 2008 3:17 pm

    “secrets to your readership”…well, i found out that if i leave a comment on Tam’s blog i can get a TON of hits from people!…hahaha!
    honestly though…a HUGE portion of people that have visited me this past 2 days have been directed from your blog Tam…so my secret to my readership? Tam. 😉

  2. December 18, 2008 3:27 pm

    haha! yay! dude, that post i linked to of yours…PHENOMENAL!!!

    loved. it.

    and if you coming here is just to get more hits…thats fine by me…cuz you post some quality stuff 😉

  3. December 18, 2008 3:59 pm

    I think women cry happy tears because emotional connection is so important to us, and because we feel the ‘touched’ emotion so deeply and we need an outlet. A positive pregnancy test for us is like a Superbowl touchdown for the guys. We are happy to an extreme, but nobody screams and throws their arms up from a place of feeling ‘touched’. Overjoyed, maybe, but deeply touched does not provoke touchdown arms. Am I making sense at all? The emotions have to come out somehow, or we’ll explode. So we cry.

    My readership is in a splurt right now, after a serious sag. I don’t understand it. I’m guessing that sometimes I’m entertaining and sometimes I’m terribly full of myself and nobody wants to read it.

    Love songs: I have been married too long to care about male/female love songs. I’m all about songs that make me think or come from angle (lyrically) that I hadn’t noticed before. Sometimes a love song will move me, but mostly the songs that make me feel lovey are worship songs. It’s just the truth.

  4. December 18, 2008 4:38 pm

    I Love your blog TAM – probably most readers of your blog have never actually met you – that is there loss. When we physically met it was like a family moment – you are family now. You and your family are so real.

    I have several rules with my blog, 1) I try to update at least every 72 hours or less; 2) I try to respond in the comment section to each comment; 3) I try to visit my blog roll list after a new post; 4) My blog has a purpose – mama and I see it as a ministry – we want to share our lives with you our readers. 5) Even though it is papa’s blog, mama is a major part of it.

    Crying – papa knows how to do that! I feel blessed that GOD pushes my weeping button – often!

  5. December 18, 2008 5:47 pm

    I’m not ‘mushy’ – but i do cry when listening to or singing along with some certain songs. Not necessarily love songs – but songs that emote a degree of PASSION. The last time it happened was listening to a version of Oh Holy NIght!

    It is like a strong spiritual experience for me – the music, harmony, words – all linking to a particular thought or feeling – even a WHOLEness in that exact moment – The only other time i feeel anything like it is when someone i have talked with has gained a benefit that helps them better deal or understand a tough situation and the relief on their face and the feeling of having helped someone get out of a deep hurt – if even for a few seconds just makes the tears well up – it’s a ‘happy’ feeling but one that comes with tears? Weird!

    As for a ‘new perspective’ that Anita mentioned… try listening to a love song and replacing the object of the song with God – and see how they pretty much all fit perfectly. Do we give our love, our Heart to ‘someone’ or to God? If the song is about loss of love – try thinking about it from God’s perspective – losing your love.


  6. December 18, 2008 6:23 pm

    Aww, man I feel no love here.

    I’m pretty sure I asked about the love songs…bajan just seconded me…hehe.

    Oh well..

    I guess this just gives me reason to go right an emo song now.

  7. December 18, 2008 6:23 pm

    err write…man I’m tired.

    (cries in the corner)

  8. December 18, 2008 6:32 pm

    Tam, you get a lot of readers because your blog is full of honesty, humor, you tell great stories and ask great question.

    I go along with what Papa wrote – 1) Try to update at least every 72 hours or less; 2) I try to respond in the comment section to each comment; 3) Try to visit my blog roll list after a new post.

    I will add that unless you are selling something a blog should mostly be a fun hobby. Say what you want, when you want to, and forget the stats.

    I can get very emotional listening to a love song, I just don’t cry. The last time I cried was when my grandmother died, I was nine.

    Since I love to do research, from “How Stuff Works”:

    “The perception that women cry more than men is pretty widespread. But as babies and children, boys and girls cry about the same amount on average. Only during puberty do girls begin to cry more than boys do. According to a 2005 New York Times article by age 18, women cry four times as much as men.

    A possible explanation for this is the hormone prolactin, which contributes to how much people cry. Prolactin is present in blood and tears, and it’s more prevalent in women than in men. Women’s tear ducts are also shaped a little differently from men’s, which could be either a cause or an effect of increased crying [Source: New York Times]. In addition, people who are depressed may cry four times as much as people who are not, and two-thirds of people diagnosed with depression are women [Psychology Today] “

  9. TheNorEaster permalink
    December 18, 2008 7:16 pm

    Secrets to my “readership”?

    Don’t have any. I just write.

    I figure if people get something meaningful out of what I have to say, they’ll come back. And tell others about what I have said.

    My stats have doubled in the past three months so it must be working.

  10. December 18, 2008 7:42 pm

    anita – you can be full of yourself. its YOUR blog. however…ive never seen that in your posts.

    and i get what youre saying about our emotions having to get out somehow. when im mad…i clean. will somebody piss me off please?!?!?!

    papa – thank you. thank you so much! papa, when i saw you, near, sprinting to the back door to meet me outside our church our on line connection become the most real, solidified, beautiful moment! yes, we are family!

    love – i feel that way often about music too. the spiritual connect. ive also felt, personally, connected and drawn to others by their music. its a very cool thing.

    russ – youre right! all props from the Love Song question go to you me friend! so did you get the answer you were looking for?

    ed – thank you, too, for your very kind words. and i think your research just about sums it up on the crying issue. i can relate to the depression thing. i suffered from post partum depression after both my kids were born. hormones can be hell!!

    nor – you always say something meaningful! often times, for me, so deep it leaves me without words. thanks a lot. i mean, brent thanks you a lot 😉

  11. December 19, 2008 4:06 am

    I won I won I won 😆

    Ok yeah so most of my questions I lifted from others… so thank you Russ and Mandy (‘insanely high readership’ is lifted from Mandy’s comment earlier!) I know – shameless :mrgreen:

    The crying question was all mine, tho…. :mrgreen:

    Personally, I’m a worshipper – so when God touches my soul I’m usu found flat on my face weeping…. I asked that question coz there were times I did something for my wife and she burst into tears – and I was like, “uh……sorry?!!???!” 😀

    Blog stats: I’m still a young blog – and I don’t really do any advertising. Partly because it isn’t something I’m familiar with, and partly because the blog isn’t about me. I would love to see the stats go up from the 16 – 25 range – the most blogs I’ve ever had in the year and couple months was a huge spike to 76.

    I’m trying to get into the habit of posting regularly – for the last 2 weeks I was posting something almost every day! – but I try not to feel that no one cares (which got easier when Annie and Love used my blog comments to discuss why Blogger kept eating Love’s comments!) 😆 I still want people to celebrate with me when God does stuff in my life; that’s the purpose for the blog – but I’ve found that I’ve gotten comments when I did the “Love Is…” series and a couple of comments on the Eden 2 Zion website. So, time to adapt a bit….

  12. December 19, 2008 4:40 am

    Kind of….

    My question was what makes a good love song? What about the song moves you if anything. It can be a love song for a person, or a love song to or from God.

    Though all of the great comments on “crying” over music are indeed insightful.

    Maybe one day you could do a post and talk about what “moves” you in music.

  13. December 22, 2008 1:45 pm

    how about your thoughts on love songs, why women cry “happy tears” and secrets to your readership?

    K, so love song make me happy….I cry over everything…I mean, EVERYTHING..and the readership thing, I have gone back and forth on that one and I have concluded that because I pray over my blog…that the right people are reading it. Not too many, not – not enough…but just right. Like goldy locks. That’s why I don’t have the stats thing or a blog roll…I was getting all wrapped up in the whole thing of it…like “who is reading” and “where do I stand” but all of it made me feel like crap, so now I just don’t fret. Okay…sometimes I do, but I try really hard not to. K, there’s my two cents…now I am off to find something to cry over.

  14. January 4, 2009 7:26 pm

    I like Love’s description. I think …. well, I’m not a big crier. My feelings are usually beneath the surface, and take no small amount of effort to drag them out. But… the moments when I ‘cry’ like that … is because the feeling of LOVE is so overwhelming for my poor little heart (generally refers to God, not love songs), there is nothing for my body to do, but to let the tears flow. It’s a sense of being loved beyond what you thought you could be loved, perhaps. Or perhaps were expecting. It is hard to explain, and doesn’t make much rational sense. But there it is.

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