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i ain’t dead yet

January 28, 2009

the other night i was laying in bed and thought…

oh no! im almost half way to 80 years old!

seriously people. this is how my mind works.

the hard part is, i dont feel my age…most days. i think back when i freaked out over turning 30 and now i could just kick myself in my ever drooping boo-tay.

where have the years gone? my 20’s were jammed packed of firsts.

first baby

first home

first minivan 😕

things you cant do over and experience again. so when i hit 30, a brand new decade, i just couldnt imagine how it could even compare to the awesomeness and fulfillment of my 20’s.

i have just under 2 years left of my thirties and now i cant imagine how my 40’s could possibly outdo the 30’s!

there have been plenty of highs and more bumps and bruises than i would have ever expected. and that is what has made this decade so amazing.

we, i, have grown tremendously because of the bumps in the road. they have served to shape our character and our dependency on and faith in God. they have brought us very close as a family. they have led us to places never expected.

i used to wonder, not so long ago… what’s left to do now? there’s no time to make a difference in this life, this community, this world. i had a defeatist attitude and outlook, as if i were already digging my grave.

ive realized, as of late, to always be prepared to do big things. and those big things dont always mean they’ll be recognized the world over, they could mean something as simple – yet incredibly significant – as stepping out in faith and doing what you never thought you could or would do. something seemingly small, yet having great impact on lives. something that only you, now in this time of your life, can do.

every today is preparing us for a bigger tomorrow.

it aint over…til its over.

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25 Comments leave one →
  1. January 28, 2009 1:24 am

    Wow. Well said. I think you speak the minds and hearts of many. I enjoy your honesty, Tam.

  2. January 28, 2009 4:26 am

    i’m going to go out on a limb here, and hope you don’t take offense to this…

    i haven’t read this book, but i know a lot of the 40+ people i work with have, and loved it.

    http://www.zondervan.com/Cultures/en-US/Product/ProductDetail.htm?ProdID=com.zondervan.9780310284246&QuerySiteString=Zondervan&QueryStringSite=Zondervan

  3. January 28, 2009 4:42 am

    THere are still some “firsts” out there:

    1) First grand child. 😀
    2) The first night you realize you are sleeping with “grandpa”. 😯
    3) Your first wedding of your kids. 😀
    4) Your first conversation as a mother-in-law. 😯
    5) The first time they ask you if you are elgible for senior discount. 😯 😯
    6) You get your first Social Security check.
    7) You become a member of the seniors group at church.
    8) The Senior Adult pastor starts calling on you regularly.8O

  4. Heidi permalink
    January 28, 2009 5:32 am

    When I hit 40, I was looking at my firsts and still looking ahead for some firsts.
    I realized it’s sometimes it’s not about the firsts its about what’s in the middle.

    I’d rather have the bavarian creme inside the donut then the pastry.. right?

    I’d rather have the cup of coffee halfway down, because it’s not scalding and the sweetness is just perfect.. right?

    I’d rather be in the middle of the rollercoaster Ninja ride, then the beginning, it’s scary.. right?

    Most importantly, I’d rather be where I am with God today at 40, than I was ever before… right?

    All these I enjoy more now and find joy and sustenance in.

  5. January 28, 2009 5:49 am

    I think you’re gonna be even better in your 40’s. From glory to glory, baby.

  6. January 28, 2009 6:07 am

    Uh. Who’s the “we” in “we, i, have grown…?”

    Are there other “yous?”
    Do you hear voices?….

  7. January 28, 2009 6:49 am

    Um. yea. you should really get checked out lol.

    I’m 28 yrs old…my firsts haven’t all happened, does that mean I can’t have them happen in my 30’s?

    and, do I have to have my 1st mini-van? I mean I didn’t get the memo on that:)

    ang

  8. January 28, 2009 7:48 am

    It is funny you wrote about your 20s ending as I will be turning 30 this year. I don’t care at all about it. I thought it was cute to say I’m still in my 20s but that was all I really thought on the idea. Personally I like getting older. I tend to get less stupid and gain a small amount of wisdom each year. I like wrinkles, I think they are gorgeous and interesting. So for me each birthday is like “yes” because I know, well at least usually, that I only have improved. The 30s me is way better than the 20s me for sure!

  9. Jim2 permalink
    January 28, 2009 8:08 am

    Yeah,
    I’m finishing up my 40s and you are right, it’s pretty much a barren wasteland.

  10. January 28, 2009 8:13 am

    SO good, Tam!!

  11. January 28, 2009 8:18 am

    Little things that are really big things – I like that thought. So true, and so easy to forget.

    And I’m so glad I escaped my 20s without a minivan. 😉

  12. January 28, 2009 8:54 am

    I dread the day when there are no “firsts” for me. Maybe when I’m older than Yoda everything will be old and done with but I doubt it. There’s always the “undiscovered country” to explore.

  13. January 28, 2009 10:38 am

    🙂 This was really good, babe. You know, there are so many firsts I was excited to have come my way that never did, and never will. And for awhile that was hard to swallow… and knowing that now every day is just like the last, basically living a life without potential, should be hard to swallow. But it isn’t… because even if your life physically stood still, or was financially stunted, or was mentally impaired… you always have control over your spiritual life. And if you are growing spiritually, God will work beautiful things through you… even if you’re old, broke and crazy 😯

  14. lazrus2 permalink
    January 28, 2009 11:17 am

    AMEN to Gitz’s comment above!!
    …except the “basically living a life without potential” part.
    If your last sentence re: ‘growing spiritually’ is true (and I DO believe it is =), God’s ‘potential’ through you is limitless (Mt. 19:26)!!

    So, persevere to the end!

    D-

  15. January 28, 2009 1:34 pm

    gitz – physically, you cant do many things. but through this outlet of on line community and connection – you are reaching and touching people more than you know! so with each new day, as you post another piece of you for all to see – you are changing someones life. trust me!!

  16. January 28, 2009 1:40 pm

    mandy – “we” = family. “i” = me. and yes, there are voices in my head 👿

    jim2 – NOT funny! 😯

  17. Jim2 permalink
    January 28, 2009 3:47 pm

    Sorry, it was meant to be funny, as Papa said, there are still a lot of firsts out there – I just got an e-mail telling me to “save the date” for my granddaughter’s graduation – right now she is #11 in her class!
    But there are also a whole TON of “aha” moments when you remember the “first” and marvel at God’s grace for all the awesome follow-ups

  18. January 28, 2009 3:59 pm

    jim2 – i know. i was giving you a hard time 😉

    #11 in her class! thats fantastic!!

    i think im in the “aha” season right now. the time when things are beginning to make sense and come together. now its opening doors for new opportunities and things i never saw coming or thought was possible! its good, and nerve wracking at the same time 🙂

  19. January 28, 2009 4:44 pm

    I haven’t had any of the first yet and I’m 24. I haven’t gotten married, had kids, gotten my first home. I do hope those happen soon. As I’d love to have kids.

  20. January 28, 2009 4:52 pm

    amy – im sure youve had firsts though, right? those firsts were firsts for me. theyre not the typical ones that everyone should or will experience, ya know. its different for everybody. im curious to see what you could come up with of things you have experienced for the first time that has had/made an impact on your life.

  21. Jim2 permalink
    January 28, 2009 4:57 pm

    and if the math doesn’t quite work out, it is my step-daughter’s step-daughter

  22. January 28, 2009 5:13 pm

    jim2 – ooooo – thats starting to sound like my family. did you know that i was once my own cousin? mmm-hmmm…. 😕

  23. January 28, 2009 5:57 pm

    I’ll be 39 in a couple of weeks. WHAT??? Seriously?? Cannot believe it. I’m sure that I’m still 27. However, I worked out this morning and then attempted to stretch….you know where both legs are stretched out in a V. It hurt BIG TIME. Then I knew I wasn’t 27 any more.

    And…I love the simple yet significant things happening to me. Thats what I want.

  24. January 28, 2009 8:24 pm

    I was JUST having this conversation this morning on the phone with my best friend. In a couple years I’ll be 30 and all my firsts were done EARLY on in my 20’s. One even before my 20’s. 😉 I did it on purpose b/c I wanted to be a young grandma (always thinking ahead!) but now I wonder what will come next? My 30’s will be jammed packed with all things school related (for the boys) and I wonder what that means for me? I will feel weird that the baby days are almost behind me….that’s been my purpose for so long now. I’m nervous excited to see what’s next.

  25. jenniclayville permalink
    January 29, 2009 5:10 pm

    i think like that too. i haven’t in awhile, but now that you posted this… i’m thinking about it again.

    thanks.

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