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i would have never…

April 6, 2009

everything is a learning experience. good or bad…we all learn something. we may not all put what we’ve learned into practice, but its there for the taking.

yesterday i wrote about how overwhelmed ive been with the fact that God raised me from the dead. that He chose to take a wilted and worn and worthless life and make something from it. and that He continues to spend time to mold me further into that masterpiece He has always seen in me…blows my mind.

and it took a lot to get here. it took a lot of forgiving others and myself. i made more mistakes than i care to count. but…i can say, that for each one of those mistakes, i have learned something valuable from them. things i would not have realized, come to terms with or understood had i not experienced them.

one example…

i would have never known how to console a woman who just aborted her baby had i never aborted my own.

although the experience itself is horrific and cruel and unthinkable to me now…i get to come along side women, who are dying on the inside from guilt and shame because they chose to end a life, and relate to them, connect on a level that many cannot.

i take this very seriously and consider it a privilege.

so, what about you? do you feel this way too? how would you complete this sentence?

i would have never ______________had i never_____________.

oh. and im not expecting this to stay serious. no…i know you all too well πŸ˜‰ and i love ya!

34 Comments leave one →
  1. April 7, 2009 1:27 am

    I would have never learned to love others as the are, had i never learned that Christ love me as I am.

    The truth of Christ’s Love drives my faith.

    Peace and love sis.

  2. April 7, 2009 2:11 am


    Which I found by reading this one. Amazing!!

  3. April 7, 2009 2:26 am

    Well Tam, you already know that mine is the same as yours…

    I’d never have known how to support a woman in pregnancy crisis had I never been in such a situation myself.

    I’d never have known how to talk to someone who was self harming had I never come through that myself.

    I’d never have known what it would be like to be physically disabled had it not been from my own shorter experience when I couldn’t so much as lift a hairdryer from having chronic fatigue syndrome.

    I’d never have been able to love people just as they are had it not been from Jesus loving me just as I am, and showing me how much he loves everyone else just as they are by giving me that same powerful and perfect love which can drive out all fear.

  4. April 7, 2009 3:52 am

    I would never have met my wife had I not searched the internet for the Left Behind DVD…

    • April 7, 2009 8:00 am

      seriously?! do you have a blog post about that??? I SO want to read it!

  5. Heidi permalink
    April 7, 2009 4:48 am

    I would have never heard my inner voice had i never starting believing in myself.

    I would have never been a fierce friend had I never met you.

  6. April 7, 2009 5:44 am

    I would have never known how to talk to girls about Self Injury had i never done it myself.

    Though i hate that i was addicted to it, I see the fruit that God is starting to produce through my story. He is very faithful.

  7. April 7, 2009 6:06 am

    I would have never been able to encourage and help people get out of debt if I had never been debt ridden and become debt free myself.

  8. April 7, 2009 6:58 am

    wow. i wish i could share what’s on my heart right now. but i’m afraid it’s still too tender to talk freely about it. however…i LOVE what you had to say. it was really encouragin, tam!

  9. April 7, 2009 7:09 am

    I would have never been able to have compassion for my “daughters” who have suffered from physical abuse if my own bio-daughter had not been through that. I think that’s where my real “father” role kicked in.

    Recently we worked with three homeless young ladies, of which abuse played a role – mama and I learned to love these young ladies with a God given love.

  10. April 7, 2009 7:12 am

    I would have never known how much I could love my husband . . . until he came home one afternoon with a copy of Fireproof and the Love Dare, asking if we could take the challenge over Lent.

    I would have never gotten off the diet pills had God not sent me to the brink of a heart attack to wake me up to see that I was killing myself and His very creation.

  11. Steph S. permalink
    April 7, 2009 7:37 am

    I would have never known the reality of Christ in me had I never gone away to college.

    (Thank you for sharing your story, it’s beautiful! I LOVE reading about the fruit of a life devoted to Christ. Your story is encouraging to those believing for God’s redeeming power to touch someone else’s life. And it’s a great reminder of the mercy of our God! Thank you, thank you for living a life of transparency, and for allowing God to use you!)

    • April 7, 2009 12:42 pm

      thank you for your encouraging words! His redemption is for everyone…i just wished everyone really believed that. thanks for stopping by πŸ™‚

  12. April 7, 2009 8:05 am

    “i would have never ______________had i never_____________.”

    I would have never understood the pain of depression had I never experienced it so painfully myself.

    I would have never had a heart for the wife of a porn addict had my husband not been one.

    I would have never been able to be as close to my mom as I am now had I not had my own babies.

    Way to make a girl cry Tam. Way to go. πŸ˜‰ ♥ you

  13. April 7, 2009 9:46 am

    I deleted my old blog a few months ago, otherwise I would have pointed you to a post there. (Along with deleting my blog, I deleted all my posts because I did not have backups of them).

    But I wrote about the Begats in Matthew chapter 1 that tell the lineage of Christ. In those ‘boring’ verses there is a mention of David and Bathsheba… some translations don’t say Bathsheba, they say Uriah’s wife.

    Out of David and Bathsheba’s sin (murder and adultery to name the big two), God ultimately uses them for His purpose. While the first child was taken from them, God gave them a second child – Solomon. The bible records these words about Solomon’s birth “And the Lord loved him.”

    I would have never known how great the Grace of God was if I had never experienced the depravity of sin.

    My heart is always tugged at those words – “And the Lord loved him.” Solomon was given a name by God which is Jedidiah (beloved of Jehovah).

    • April 7, 2009 12:42 pm

      what a good word! thank you so much for sharing this, tony!

  14. April 7, 2009 11:20 am

    β€œi would have never gone to Bible College had i never known I was not ready to at 17 years old.”

  15. April 7, 2009 11:25 am

    I don’t know the answer to this question yet. But one of the biggest hurts in my life came from planting a church. And even though I don’t know why what happened, happened, I know without a doubt that God will use that experience for His glory. So someday, I’ll be able to say, “I would have never ______________had I never planted a church.”

    Somehow, God will use that. And I can’t wait to see what He has planned!

    • April 7, 2009 12:43 pm

      and He WILL! i love your expectation in this too…way to go!

  16. April 7, 2009 12:32 pm

    I would never have found your blog had I never read your comment on Pete’s Without Wax! Awesome! Another cool blog.

    • April 7, 2009 12:44 pm

      hi there. yes, i just saw you at petes blog too πŸ™‚ thanks for coming over to say hey…nice to meet you!

  17. April 7, 2009 12:48 pm

    one thing i wanted to say to everyone who shared here today is… look at how our perspective can change everything. i found it so beautiful to read through all these and with each one see the hope.

    each one of you *chose* to turn something negative into something positive. using it to touch someone else. life isnt just about us. its about others. and without all these experiences we wouldnt relate to another as well as we do. and you all get that. i love that!!! you have no idea how refreshing this is. it is bringing tears to my eyes now…

    so thank you. thank you for being such stellar examples of standing up, brushing off the dirt and heading out strong equipped with the power, through grace and mercy, to reach out to others! thank you!

  18. Jim2 permalink
    April 7, 2009 1:01 pm

    I would have never become involved with a divorce recovery ministry if I never had been shown kindness when going through my own struggles of divorce and a broken family – one of the theme verses for that ministry is 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 “3Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God.”

    • April 7, 2009 1:04 pm

      yes! that is a hugely important piece of scripture in this. amen!!!

  19. April 7, 2009 1:12 pm

    I keep trying to do this, Tam, but all mine seem so depressing.

    Do you think that means I haven’t actually learned my lessons yet?

    • April 7, 2009 1:16 pm

      no. it doesnt mean that all. i think we can look at all these and see them as sad – but theres good in every one of them too…and i am certain there is good in yours. certain!

  20. April 7, 2009 1:39 pm

    I would never have discovered country music had I never meet that 7th grade vixen who dumped me.

    I would never have know how much fun a fight food could be had I never had breakfast with my nieces son. (We both put our oat meal to much better use than to eat the stuff.)

    I would never had found that disco beat had I never taken the train into New York City.

    I would never had started my own blog had I never meet my friend Tam who encouraged me to do so.

    • April 7, 2009 2:01 pm

      ed, i LOVE disco music. i mean…LOVE. IT. it makes me so happy!

      and ic ant even imagine the mess an oatmeal food fight would create. you would be in so much trouble mister πŸ˜‰

      and thanks for buckling under my pressure and starting a blog. the blog world is much sweeter with you in it, friend πŸ™‚

  21. April 7, 2009 9:45 pm

    I would never have really understood the grace of Jesus Christ if I hadn’t done things I never thought I would (b/c I thought I wasn’t “that” kind of person).

    And now I see that I’m more wicked than I ever dared to believe, and I’m more loved and forgiven than I ever dared to hope. (Tim Keller)

  22. April 8, 2009 9:58 am

    i would have never been interested in outreach and specifically women with addictions, if I hadn’t been in the same situation when God reached out for me.

  23. April 8, 2009 12:45 pm

    Okay, I thought of one.

    I would have never had to live with some of the difficult consequences that I’m living with now, had I never drifted away from the Lord and lived arrogantly, foolishly, and independently away from His guidance and will.

    Sometimes very big, important decisions are made during the prodigal years. Of course not everyone goes through prodigal years, but I certainly did and unfortunately regret several decisions made during those times.


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