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thursday swap – “broken things”

May 27, 2009

todays swapper is heidi from find me…

heidi was one of the first bloggers i met. she had a tremendous impact on me nearly two years ago and still does to this day. you talk about fierce. fiercely passionate, faithful, enduring – thats heidi. i really encourage you to take some time at her place today and read thru some of her posts. she is a great writer. always deep, always thought provoking and challenging. and she finds the best post pics!

read my post at heidi’s here

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For the most part of the people who have truly visited my apartment could probably list all of its imperfections. Not because they are picky or critical, but because I have made a point to show them each one as we tour. Here’s a broken closet door; the dripping bathtub; there’s a hole in the tile; the cabinet doors don’t shut.

Why do I always feel the need to reveal my broken things?

What we do with the broken things in our lives probably says something about who we are. I tend to do one of a few things when I find a stain or a crack. Get rid of the item (probably my first inclination), try to make it like new, turn it into something it’s not, or keep on using it as it was intended, even if it is a little worn down.–

This is exactly what happened with another broken thing in my house. For some unknown reason, I have two freezers both of which came with the apartment. One is on the top of the fridge where it should be, and one, stained, dirty and missing all its handle sits in the corner of my apartment in my dining room and has become a well- used shelf.

My first tendency was to get rid of the old one. Who needs two? Plus it’s gross. And I could sure use the space. But it was a bigger job to get rid of than I could do on my own, so I decided to clean it up a little in the meantime.. Once it was clean, it seemed like it would work just fine.

But yesterday, as I tried really hard to ignore this broken thing by cleaning it all up and using it as it was never intended, I realized that even though it’s not in mint condition, it actually could still be used as a freezer True, I don’t need two freezers, and I would never choose two. But I have two and both work.

But with a little love, two freezers might even be a blessing.

I think this is why I reveal my broken things to others — not just about the apartment, but about my character, and my stance. I want to see what other people do with the broken things, and people, in their lives.

Are they going to throw me out (like I am so quick to do)? Try to fix me or make me be someone I’m not? Or are they going to love me and let me do what I was made to do.

Even if it’s not perfect.

While drinking a cup of coffee I got a horrible stain on a perfectly good shirt and against my very natural instinct to throw it in the trash I washed it, hung it back up in the closet, and will continue to wear it.

I want other people to know they are safe with me.

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26 Comments leave one →
  1. May 28, 2009 2:02 am

    We can’t be true and trustworthy unless we are authentic. The imperfections is wht makes us all unique.

    God will use those imperfections to His Glory

    Thanks for a great reminder Hedi.

    Peace and Love

    • Heidi permalink
      May 28, 2009 4:49 am

      Carl, because of space I omitted this paragraph in my post but in my journal pages:

      As I grow in my experience of Abba Father’s love for me, my freedom grows from these things. I agree that my brokenness is less something to be overcome than that which He better reveals Himself through, since anything which others may be drawn to in my life will clearly be understood for what it is, “God at work in (me) both to will and to work for His good pleasure

      Of course, there is that within me which longs to be healed from all that is yet to be put right in me, to know and enjoy Him more fully, and to see others He brings me into relationship with coming into that same freedom. But I’m still at risk of adopting an agenda of trying to make it happen. I’m still not totally free of that in me which wants to please others

      It is a journey with ruts and potholes along the way!

  2. May 28, 2009 3:47 am

    Fantastic post – the thing that came to my mind was a song I haven’t heard for ages, but resonates with me when I think about it – Broken Things by Julie Miller:

    You can have my heart
    Though it isn’t new
    It’s been used and broken
    And only comes in blue
    It’s been down a long road
    And it got dirty on the way
    If I give it to you will you make it clean
    And wash the shame away

    You can have my heart
    If you don’t mind broken things
    You can have my life if you don’t mind these tears
    Well I heard that you make old things new
    So I give these pieces all to you
    If you want it you can have my heart

    So beyond repair
    Nothing I could do
    I tried to fix it myself
    But it was only worse when I got through
    Then you walked into my darkness
    And you speak words so sweet
    And you hold me like a child
    Till my frozen tears fall at your feet.

    • Heidi permalink
      May 28, 2009 4:52 am

      Diane,

      Thank you for introducing this song. I love the last stanza so much I copied it into my journal page today.

    • May 28, 2009 5:19 am

      That song….. would make me cry if I let it…. that’s exactly what I’m going through right now…

      “So beyond repair
      Nothing I could do
      I tried to fix it myself
      But it was only worse when I got through….”

      Thank God he’s holding me ……

      Thank you.

  3. May 28, 2009 5:09 am

    Heidi: “I want people to know they are safe with me.”

    That one sentence sums up how I feel about people too… the hurting, the wounded… I love this story!

    Awesome….

    • Heidi permalink
      May 28, 2009 5:19 am

      “Being safe” allow people to heal, to worship again, and sometimes walk again.

  4. May 28, 2009 5:21 am

    Wow, H. SO dang good… Thank you. (Yours is the first “Thursday Swap” that I’ve actually read – but don’t tell the rest of ’em. 😉 )

    • Heidi permalink
      May 28, 2009 6:01 am

      Okay, thanks for allowing me to choke on my Raisin Bran.
      These Thursday swaps have been incredible to read.
      I was very nervous… I mean this is Tam’s place.

      o’ya reading H made me grin a WHOLE grip of a bunch. 🙂

  5. May 28, 2009 7:16 am

    told you all she was good!

    and heidi was sweet enough to inform me that the link i provided in the post was not taking you to the swap.

    so…here is the correct one

    http://allm92.wordpress.com/2009/05/27/thursday-swap-who-i-am/

    • May 28, 2009 9:39 pm

      I think we managed to find it anyway

      And now I’ve got yet another blog to add to my reader… 🙂

      • Heidi permalink
        May 29, 2009 5:31 am

        Thank you David !!!

        I found you too and your wife.

        Community is incredible

  6. May 28, 2009 7:25 am

    Most times all we have to offer to the Potter is broken clay. Instead of tossing it aside, He has a way of loving it into something new and useful.

    Your post is a reminder of that singular truth. And an encouragement as well.

    • Heidi permalink
      May 28, 2009 9:02 am

      Thank Tony!!

      One of my favorite verses is from:

      Corinthians 4:7 (New Living Translation)

      7 We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure.[a] This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves

      I have this on my dashboard, reminding me each day, It’s about HIM and not us.

  7. May 28, 2009 9:31 am

    This idea of transparency has been instrumental in my recovery journey. Ironically, I have found more love and acceptance in revealing the damaged parts of myself than I ever did wearing the mask of perfection.

    Thank you for this insightful and important post.

  8. May 28, 2009 10:20 am

    Wow, you girls are good… I think the comment I left at your place, Heidi, totally fits after reading this one as well. But I’ll give you your own comment 🙂

    I never ceased to be amazed at how you take the simplest things in your life that most would walk by every day and never give a second glance… and find a way to look at it through God’s eyes. You help me to remember He is teaching us in the smallest of places in the biggest of ways. I love that about you.

    • May 28, 2009 1:21 pm

      “I never ceased to be amazed at how you take the simplest things in your life that most would walk by every day and never give a second glance… and find a way to look at it through God’s eyes.”

      we can say the same thing about you too.

      • Heidi permalink
        May 28, 2009 1:39 pm

        I resonate what Tam says.

        Sometimes I just sit there and look at your blog posts and comments and wonder where you get your wisdom from.

        Thank you for the compliment, it tugged and hugged on my heart.

        What you said on my blog was also true too.

        Thank you Gitz for being who are, it adds to my life enormously.

  9. May 28, 2009 2:10 pm

    heidi – youve hit a home run today here.

    thank you so much for being you and for pouring out your heart for us.

    love you, sis.

    • Heidi permalink
      May 28, 2009 2:15 pm

      I learned and been LOVED by the best sis…… YOU
      You have no idea, How much!!

  10. May 29, 2009 11:01 am

    You are right about imperfections Heidi. They are are reminders that we are a work in progress. Since mine our so painfully obvious I have no need to bring them anyone’s attention to them. 🙂

    I have a neighbor who has a sign outside her door, “Please take your shoes off when I come in.” Her condo is spot less, and not very inviting. For some reason she doesn’t get much company. 🙂

    I also think the weed filled open field on a nearby farm is a lot prettier than the perfectly mowed lawns of his neighbors.

    • Heidi permalink
      May 29, 2009 2:32 pm

      Ed this comment is spot on.

      Your video OH mY gosh!!

  11. June 2, 2009 5:53 am

    thank you for taking me as i am, heidi. for making me feel safe with you.

  12. Heidi permalink
    June 2, 2009 6:01 am

    I love you fiercely Alece…. More than you’ll ever know

    You and your heart are always safe (and held)…

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