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Find The Funny

June 23, 2009

im not one for long posts but i wanted to share with you what i wrote tuesday afternoon. i got a fire under my butt to get back into my book writing. for some reason i go into crazy dips when it comes to writing my book. weird. anyway, i think it goes good with our live happy week too. so…here ya go.


The yelling, the banging, the sound of flesh being slugged, was nothing new to me. It was an all too common middle of the night weekly ritual in our home. An accustom I had no idea I shouldn’t be accustomed to. What does a six year old know, right?

But there was a day in there that would forever change my life. A day that would transform the way I would view each moment from then on.

It happened the morning I walked out of my bedroom. Now, mind you, I never just casually strolled down the hall, hopped up to the table and ate my cereal. No. That would be way too scripted and perfect. In fact, gaining enough courage to even open my door sometime took so long, I would frequently lose control of my night filled bladder.

And the quiet. Oh, the quiet of the mornings, the eerily silent mornings coming off the beatings I would hear my mother take the night before always made for so much more suspense and fear for me. In my minds eye, I always expected to find the worst on the other side of my bedroom door.

But this one dreary winter morning…would soon prove to be very different.

When I finally made it to the kitchen I did find my mom moving, a bit slow, but she was moving. She had her back to me as I stood and waited for her to notice I was standing behind her. She finally turned around and smiled. I looked at her, pulled my head back…somewhat perplexed at what I saw. Mom was wearing sunglasses. In the kitchen. In the middle of winter. What? Why? Oh my God, my mother has finally flipped!

Still, having not said a word, she walked toward me and knelt down to my eye level. Me, peering hard through the lenses of her sunglasses, could see her swollen, black and blue and cut eyes. I started to cry. She reached out, grabbing firmly onto my shoulders and said…

”Tam, I’ve had these sunglasses for months and have been looking for the perfect occasion to wear them. I’d say today is a perfect day for that, wouldn’t you?”

Me, still unsure of what was happening, didn’t say a word. Then she said something that would stay with me forever…

”Tammy, if there is one thing you do in life, cause life will be hard, do this…Find The Funny! There will always be something to smile about. Make sure you find that thing. Now…don’t these glasses look great on me?”

Writing that out I find myself sitting here with the biggest smile on my face. Those words still have a huge impact on me to this day! They still bring me comfort. I have never forgotten them. And they have served me well. I am forever indebted to my precious mother for that crazy, unexpected wisdom.

36 Comments leave one →
  1. June 23, 2009 9:41 pm

    crazy, unexpected wisdom, indeed.

    i have tears in my eyes. seriously, what a touching, precious story. what a brave, dear mom you have.

    thanks for sharing this. this is definitely a perfect “happy week” post.

  2. June 23, 2009 10:30 pm

    Tam, I’m looking forward to the day that the world gets to read your story. You are an inspiration to us all.

    Also, that is wonderful wisdom your mom gave you.

  3. June 24, 2009 12:16 am

    These stories help put ‘you’ in a much clearer ‘perspective’ to those of us who care 🙂

    I’m with Mandy – longing to get the chance to read that book.

    and desperate for the Good it could bring into so many people’s lives.


  4. June 24, 2009 12:40 am

    Yes, finish that book!

    And keep living happy and inspiring others to do the same while you’re doing it


    • June 24, 2009 9:13 am

      yes sir 😉

      and please tell me, what is the over your face in your avi?

  5. June 24, 2009 3:07 am

    If you keep making me cry, I’m gonna stop coming here!! 🙂

    Just flippin awesome!

    I fully expect an autographed copy of that book with my order of 10.

    • Terry (apostlethatroks) permalink
      June 24, 2009 5:25 am

      …and I’d better be one of the ten recipients, Toby! (:’-(

      • pastortee permalink
        June 24, 2009 5:27 am

        U got it!

        • June 24, 2009 5:34 am

          Uhh, not sure where Pastortee came from….hmmmm

        • June 24, 2009 9:15 am

          i have NO idea why “pastorteeeeee” reminded me of the lil kid in indiana jones, “indiana, indiana!!”


  6. Jennifer permalink
    June 24, 2009 3:44 am

    I can’t wait to read this book! Please keep writing 🙂 As I’ve gotten to read your blogs the past couple of months, you have opened my eyes to authenticity and not being afraid to be real. I hope to one day be able to be that real and not afraid of my story.

    • June 24, 2009 9:16 am

      thats a huge compliment jennifer. thank you.

      and i will try hard to keep going….

  7. June 24, 2009 4:27 am

    wow. what a great story. thanks for the early morning tear-fest at my desk. thanks for sharing.

  8. June 24, 2009 4:31 am

    Some smart guy suggested that we each have a story to tell the world. No one before us has been able to tell this story, and no one after us will be able to tell it either. It’s up to us to tell our unique story.

    Continue to tell your story.

    • June 24, 2009 9:17 am

      thank you, thank you, a thousand thank yous for that!

  9. June 24, 2009 5:03 am


  10. June 24, 2009 5:36 am

    The world does need your book. Keep those fingers moving….

    I love to laugh.. I am goofy like that. A day without some type of laughter in my house drives me crazy.

    Peace and love.

  11. June 24, 2009 8:15 am

    Can’t wait to read it. Although, next time I’ll be sure to have a box of tissues nearby.

  12. June 24, 2009 8:31 am

    ummm…dangit Tam! you are making me cry.

    Very wise…and a lesson to be learned…for me, and probably for everyone.

    Like everyone else here i cant wait until the day we can read that. Thank you for your consistent authenticity….it inspires others. for real.

  13. June 24, 2009 8:53 am

    Wow! I love it and can’t wait to read it! I would love to know more about your book writing process (and the dips you go into)….I am working on a book as well and so I would love to pick your brain as to what your experience has been with it so far…Email me if you are willing to talk about it…Keep writing!!!!!!

  14. June 24, 2009 9:20 am

    The story of your life is an amazing journey. Thanks for sharing it. I also look forward to the book.

    Everyone’s journey in life is amazing, because life its self is.

  15. June 24, 2009 9:20 am

    so. i didnt mean to make you all cry. really.

    all this talk about living happy this week just made me think of this story. it makes me smile.

    it proves to me that no matter what youre going through, if you really want to, you can find something positive and choose to camp on that. or not.

  16. June 24, 2009 10:32 am

    Beautiful, powerful. Can’t wait for the book!

  17. Heidi permalink
    June 24, 2009 11:28 am

    Brave women are hard to find.

    Not only was your mom full of wisdom, she WAS brave.

    … she taught you funny what a gift sis!!

    Thank for being brave and finding the funny, truly life-giving.

  18. June 24, 2009 11:39 am

    i remember you telling me how your mom had told you to find the “find the funny” and commenting on how that had shaped you… i loved reading this and hearing the whole story. beautifully written!

  19. June 24, 2009 12:12 pm

    Tam, the fact that you can remember that incident and tell the story and end up with a smile on your face is just one of the things that makes you extraordinary. Reading your story brought tears to my eyes for that little Tam, but it also made me nod my head in agreement with the grown-up Tam. Thank you for sharing.

  20. June 24, 2009 3:11 pm

    i just love you.

    and i’m not a stickler about waiting until it’s finished to read the book. i’d be happy to read it as it goes along… that way i would know when to bug you about getting your fingers on that keyboard and finishing.

    all for the good of the public, of course. 🙂

  21. mandy perry permalink
    June 24, 2009 3:50 pm

    You write so well..I mean I’ve been following your blogs and tweets for a while, but there was a depth in this book excerpt that was captivating. It left me wanting to read more. You have such a gift!

  22. June 24, 2009 6:57 pm

    Great story. Your book is going to be amazing. I too am writing a book and go through the same dips where I won’t write for a while then I will get the urge to start writing again.

  23. June 25, 2009 8:57 am

    Ahhh, the good ol’ days. Thank you for telling little Tam’s stories.

  24. June 27, 2009 10:13 pm

    Thank you for helping me understand you a little bit more this morning. I am honored to be your friend and I am so thankful that you have survived such an [incredible] childhood. I can’t imagine what those days/months/years were like for you and for your family. I am so thankful for you.

  25. July 6, 2009 12:09 pm



  1. what kind of bees make milk? « inProgress
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