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can someone grab me some toilet paper?!?!

July 13, 2009

have you ever been in a moment with family and friends where youre just absorbing the goodness before you? the fellowship, the love, the fun, laughs and memories being created? isnt it the best?

then, have you, in that same moment, had a thought enter your mind that made you so nervous you wanted to vomit?

no?

well i have.

there we sat, brent, me and a very dear friend whom we had not visited with in a long time. dinner had been enjoyed, drinks and snacks devoured when it hit me… we’re out of toilet paper!!!

[insert panic breathing here]

i calmly, but quickly, get up and remove friends unfinished water glass from his reach and seize all treat offerings.

walk into kitchen and notice… we’re out of paper towels too!!!

come on!!! really???

fortunately all awkward moments were evaded. however, he did leave rather early…maybe he noticed and had to get home 😕

ok…so tell me an embarrassing moment or close call situation youve experienced…

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13 Comments leave one →
  1. July 13, 2009 7:50 pm

    3 years ago my father in law (preacher) broke in his congregation’s new sanctuary with a spectacular Easter Sunday sermon. I would have liked to have been paying attention, but I had to go to the bathroom…badly. At the conclusion of the sermon, as soon as heads were bowed, I escaped to the latrine. I was unfamiliar with the buildings new layout.

    As I sat there in the bathroom stall–relieved–someone sat down in the stall next to me. I looked down and recognized the sandals next to me…brown leather daisies. They were my mother-in-law’s sandals.

    Yes, in my haste, I had sat down in the women’s restroom, and there, pooping next to me was my mother-in-law. I covered up my hairy manly legs with my shorts and feverishly texted my wife”HELP!” She didn’t get the text.

    My mother in law finished and left, joining the flurry of female conversation while I sat praying no body noticed my presence. After 1/2 and hour, the women’s restroom (and the church) was empty. Finally I snuck out of the stall, right as my wife snuck into the restroom, having finally received my text. As we both exited the feminine latrine, my wife’s grandmother caught sight of us, and giggled.

    My wife loves this story.

  2. July 13, 2009 8:26 pm

    tam, that is seriously funny. especially when i remember the “water bottle” tweet.

    • July 13, 2009 8:34 pm

      joy – you twitter peeps were hilarious last night! and yes, the water bottle was definitely the best. ay-yi-yi – im laughing again!

  3. July 14, 2009 5:42 am

    Well… There was this one time in Oregon… And I had some toilet paper… But I wasn’t supposed to have any toilet paper… And, well, you pulled ALL OF said toilet paper out of the back of my pants. And (I MUST ADD), NEVER washed your hands.

    Remind me to not eat your cooking until I see you’ve received a certificate of achievement from the local Community College’s Hygiene course. 😉

  4. July 14, 2009 6:52 am

    doo-doo-doo….
    still thinking of embarrassing something or other to share.
    my brain ain’ta workin.

  5. July 14, 2009 8:49 am

    Seeing as how there is a theme of camping at Pete’s place and embarrassing moments here, I might as well list one of my embarrassing moments.

    Early in our marriage we did a lot of camping because it was an easy vacation and we had a lot of friends that enjoyed to camp as well. My wife had this wonderful idea one morning that we should take a shower together. Deciding to do so was not a problem… which shower house to do so in was – the ladies or the mens. We decided to go the ladies shower house.

    Now its important to understand two things:

    1. There was only one shower in each facility
    2. The camp grounds were not that full and we were way out in the back lots of the camp grounds.

    I felt a little sheepish sneaking into the ladies shower with my wife but as there was no one really around I got over it pretty quickly.

    Until..

    About half way through the shower someone walked in and started pacing outside the one shower stall. We made the shower as long as we could hoping that this person would go away but at the cost of turning entirely into prunes we had to finally try something desperate. My wife hollered out to the person that she was going to be awhile and the female voice at the other end said that she didn’t mind waiting.

    Great…

    So… it came down to us getting dressed and just marching past this lady on the way out of the shower building. I did my best not to look her in the eye… just kept walking as fast as I could.

    I committed that if my wife ever had another brilliant shower idea that we would use the men’s shower house. Funny… after almost 18 years… it hasn’t come up again.

  6. July 14, 2009 10:25 am

    you could’ve just grabbed a handful of leaves and put them in the bathroom…haha.

  7. July 14, 2009 12:21 pm

    This story is the only thing that comes to mind…

    Years ago I was out on a run in the neighborhood with my friend, Joanie. We were about 2 miles away from my house and all of a sudden Joanie had an emergency and needed to use the bathroom ASAP! She ran up to a random house and asked to use their bathroom and the lady was kind enough to let her in. Unfortunately for Joanie, there was no toilet paper or kleenex to be found. She took the empty toilet paper roll and peeled off strips of the cardboard. That cannot possibly have done the job. I’m imagining diaper rash. Poor Joanie, but it was better than soiling her running shorts. Umm, wonder if that lady ended up with plumbing problems from all the cardboard?

    Uh, is this the sort of story you were hoping for?

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