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guest post from kass

August 25, 2009

this is tam…the below post is from my 15 yr old daughter, kass. i wont explain it – she does a great job herself. i do want to let you know she broke my 500 word rule πŸ˜• but, i’ll let her slide – because she has something very good to share and a powerful message!

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hey everyone. this is kass!

this past school year was very interesting for me. my first year at highschool, first big responsibilities, and also my first time being bullied.

in the beginning of the year, riding the bus home was great! i had my brother and all of my friends. we always had something to talk about! but one day, things changed. my brother, kota, was sitting a few seats ahead of me talking to his friends. i was sitting closer to the back listening to my music. i overheard a conversation between one of my friends, who is a freshmen guy, and another bus rider, who is a senior girl. they were talking about different luxury buses that would be much nicer to ride than school buses! all of a sudden the girl freaked out at the guy. i stood up for him and she gave me attitude! names were being thrown everywhere… all directed towards me. one person in particular, her name is ashley, decided to call me a cocky little “female dog” πŸ˜• . to be honest with you guys, it was so stupid and unnecessary that i giggled a little 😳

i was confused and hurt at the same time. i stayed strong until i got off the bus… thats when it hit me. this girl, for no reason, decided to yell at me and call me names! i broke down. i could barely make it home. i immediately walked to my parents room. mom was sitting on her bed with her computer. she took one look at me and right away she knew something was totally wrong! i explained everything to her. well i tried. its kinda hard to talk when you cant breathe from crying so much. anyways, she called dad in and told him what happened. he immediately called the bus barn (where the school buses are held). he told the manager that he’s tired of this girl treating kids on the bus so horribly, cuz this wasnt the first time. things were finally arranged and she had an assigned seat at the front of the bus.

the next day, one of my good friends pulls me aside and told me something that didnt even make sense! her and ashley, the bus bully, have math together. ashley kept telling everyone that she had me pinned against the side of the bus and was telling me off! then, according to ashley, i went home and told my “daddy” that she hit me. even tho none of this happened, thats the story people were getting.

that day, i was called into the office to tell my story. the counselor looked confused. thats not the story he had gotten from ashley… after a lot of discussion between the principle and my parents, ashley was banned from the bus until january.

so, january rolls around. the first day she was back on the bus, she blew up to the bus driver. her name is sarah. she is an AMAZING person! i walk on the bus and the first thing ashley says is, “thats the ‘female dog’ that needs an assigned seat!!” i walk by her like nothing happened. i sit down and listen to her yell for a few more minutes. finally, sarah asks me if she should get officials. i replied, “i dont care. just as long as this ends!” almost right away, the district officer (officer brown), two teachers, a counselor, and the principle come to the bus. ashley and i are asked to get off. officer brown, who is also an amazing person, pulls me aside and asks me whats going on. i told him everything i could! i was so overwhelmed i was almost in tears. in the background i could hear ashley, whos still yelling, “tell” the teachers what her problem is. officer brown pulls me aside and tells me to call my parents. hes taking me home. so i did. mom and dad were confused but they said ok.

riding home in a police car was interesting. i was sitting in the front seat, and i was surrounded by handguns, computers, and radios! holy cow that was crazy! i explained everything to him! all the way from the beginning of the bus, to now. he got me home and talked to my parents for about 30 minutes. it was a good discussion, but i learned that i cant do anything, or press charges, unless she touches me. which she hasnt once! and i know she wouldnt.

for the next week or so, kota and i didnt ride the bus. we were taken to school and picked up by mom or dad. a few months later, kota was messing around on the drums and had a really cool beat! so i grabbed my guitar and wrote music to the beat. right away i knew this song would be my story about ashley. so, i sat in my room for a while and out popped a song! (i will put up lyrics later) every time i saw her at school, i began to sing the new song. i wanted to tell her, but i knew it would probably make things worse…

throughout the rest of the school year, i kept being myself and treated ashley how i treat everyone else. every once in a while i would sit in one of the front seats and talk to sarah. all the while, ashley sat, listening. after a few weeks, ashley started to warm up a little. she would get involved in conversations, but still wouldnt start a conversation with me. but i knew that her barrier was breaking down. yeah she gave me looks, but i knew they meant nothing. she eventually stopped giving me looks. thats when i knew that she knew she was losing. she couldnt do anything else. the only thing left to do was physically hurt me. but she didnt. she knew she couldnt.

the last few weeks of school was the best on the bus for the whole year! about three weeks before school was out, i was sitting up front again talking to sarah. randomly, sarah turned to ashley and said she can sit in the back again if she wanted. sarah knew i was fine with it, but she wanted to see what ashley would say. ashley ended up not sitting in the back again, but she did say this, “i know i can sit in the back. i dont have a problem with her anymore! we’re all good!” mine and sarah’s jaws dropped. we couldnt believe the words that just came out of ashleys mouth! finally there was no cussing or hurtful words! sarah and i smiled at each other and then went back to what we were doing.

through all of this, i learned that the only person who can tear you down is you! bullies dont do that! you’re the one who lets it get to you, and thats what screws everything up. you have more power over you than anyone! i was bullied, and it hurt. but i grew up and learned to move on with life. thats just one more hurdle that can be cleared! all you have to do is stand up for whats right and dont back down. dont let it get to you! God has everything under control! those of you who are still holding on to past happenings need to let it go! all it does is cut deeper… and i KNOW you dont want that! so, do what i did. move on with life and focus on today. not the past. stand up for yourself, and those hurdles will get shorter and shorter.

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19 Comments leave one →
  1. August 25, 2009 11:17 pm

    Well Done Kass!

    Hope you learn something as valuable this year! πŸ™‚

    you eaten any more worms lately, young lady? πŸ˜‰

    <B

  2. August 26, 2009 7:00 am

    good job kass!!!!
    i want to read/share this story with my youth group.

  3. August 26, 2009 7:05 am

    😯

    Hit straight between the eyes, Kass….

    God has everything under control! those of you who are still holding on to past happenings need to let it go! all it does is cut deeper…

    I have been holding on to resentment for a while ….

    So… thanks. I needed to read that. Thank you!

  4. August 26, 2009 8:17 am

    Great story Kass. What a teachable moment all of us just had.

    I admire the way you have stayed strong and in the long run you will probably find that the “bully” just needed someone to listen to and someone to love them back. Usually a bully comes from a home that does not care, love or provide hope. She is “good” with you because she realizes you are someone who cares.

    BIG lessons!

  5. August 26, 2009 9:46 am

    and i was surrounded by handguns, computers, and radios!

    You are soo fortunate and blessed… that part about mom and dad coming to the rescue, I mean.

    stand up for whats right and dont back down. dont let it get to you! God has everything under control!

    I so need to hear this and it is so like God to use a 15 year old girl I’ve never met to tell me…

  6. August 26, 2009 10:59 am

    What an amazing testimony. Someday, I pray that Ashley can share this same story with people as an example of how love changed her heart.

  7. August 26, 2009 11:04 am

    Kass…you are a rock star! seriously…you have a principle and wisdom that most adults dont have…including me. ha!

    Seriously, you are a total rock star! I love you!

  8. August 26, 2009 11:09 am

    You are such a blessing Kass. Words I needed to hear today. Thank you for sharing them because your story is a lesson I learned later in life. I needed the reminder.

  9. August 26, 2009 11:14 am

    Sooooooo proud of my little girl!!!

  10. August 26, 2009 12:45 pm

    Ya know Kass, you are wise beyond your years…took me a long time to realize if someone has an issue with me and won’t talk or resolve it, it is no longer my issue but theirs. You rock girl… you gave the tough girl some tough love and it prevailed. Hugs~ πŸ™‚

  11. Joshua Nicholson permalink
    August 26, 2009 1:33 pm

    Kas the fact that you have already learned that lesson so early and you are getting ready for year 2 WOW. Your parents have really giving you the true resurce to over come all…..GOD! and the fact they are showing that to every day in every way.
    God bless
    Josh

  12. Sharon Mac permalink
    August 26, 2009 2:50 pm

    Kass, your last few lines have been a great encouragement and challenge to me. They also are in step with my devotional and Henri Nowen reading today – thank you for providing the living illustration of trusting God in the here and now. May you continue to know and experience Emmanuel, God with you.
    Lots of care in Christ, Mandy T’s wee Irish friend. πŸ™‚

  13. August 26, 2009 8:49 pm

    Kass, this is a fantastic post. Thank you for sharing! I’m going to have my daughter read it.

  14. August 27, 2009 10:22 am

    Kass, what an awesome way for that story to end! I’m so glad you shared this with us. Ever since your mom wrote about it last year, I have prayed for you and wondered what happened.

    Here’s to a drama-free (at least on the bus πŸ˜‰ ) year! πŸ™‚

  15. lazrus2 permalink
    August 27, 2009 12:58 pm

    Kass,

    It was good to hear ‘the rest of the story’ about your ‘bully experience’ . Yes, your standing up for what was right, as well as continuing to DO what was right, eventually ‘won the conflict’ in your favor. I would just encourage you to remember that Ashley is still ‘losing the war’ with the ‘enemy of her soul’ though, and needs your continued prayers for her. Maybe your Christian influence is over in her life (assuming she graduated and has moved on), but your prayers can have an impact even where your presence may never again.

    Your whole story here reminded me so much of a Louie Giglio video I saw called, “Fruitcake and Ice Cream”. If you’ve never seen it, I can bring it for you this weekend. Interestingly enough, the main character is named ‘Ashley’ too. It is a powerfully moving testimony and I think would enhance your continuing prayers for ‘your’ Ashley also! I would be interested in the lyrics to your song about her as well.

    ‘Hope your having a great vacation, and see you soon =)?,
    D-

  16. August 29, 2009 4:53 am

    Way to go Kass!!!

  17. kassincahoots permalink
    August 29, 2009 10:52 am

    Hey everyone! i just want to say thanks for all of your comments! i didnt expect to get all of these responses!

    joy renee: of course you can do that! i would be honored! πŸ™‚

    mary: thank you for your prayers!

    lwbut: haha no. thankfully! i think eating the worm was a one time deal.

    i will have lyrics up soon… i hope. haha. again, thank you all for your comments! love you guys!!

    kass

  18. August 29, 2009 12:47 pm

    Go Kass! So wise, so true.

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