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we’re not brave

October 11, 2009

what are your thoughts on this topic?

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58 Comments leave one →
  1. October 11, 2009 11:03 pm

    I can count on one hand how many times my wife has worn any makeup whatsoever in the five and a half years we’ve been married…

    she’s the most beautiful woman I know =)

    • October 11, 2009 11:04 pm

      this is the perfect example!

      thank you, josh πŸ™‚

  2. October 11, 2009 11:14 pm

    Great post – but not sure what a guy is supposed to say. For the record – I went to church yesterday with no make-up (I did shave and brush my teeth – just sayin’) Keep up the good work πŸ™‚

    • October 12, 2009 11:53 am

      haha, very funny! although, id love to see you sporting some makeup. now THAT would be brave πŸ˜‰

      i dare you.

  3. October 11, 2009 11:37 pm

    brave?? thats a pretty strong word for that. I hardly ever use makeup, just maskara or eye-shadow if any. I have always gone more for the natural look, out of pure laziness than anything else. I dont have time for all that! Plus, I HATE foundation with a passion!!! I don’t like how it feels on my face. But I agree…..brave??? thats just crazy!!!

    • October 12, 2009 11:52 am

      i agree. it was a very strong word for them to choose. it didnt make sense right away. immediately i began thinking of true acts of bravery. several that have already been mentioned here in the comments. so sad what our society deems as important.

      i cant stand foundation either. i cant wear it. i use concealer and light mineral powder.

  4. October 12, 2009 12:53 am

    On my Blackberry so can’t watch the video right now.

    But

    Makup no makeup, beauty does not come from the surface. Jesus touched the Lepers, I would bet he saw them as beautiful.

    And for the record. My wife is 100% the most beautiful woman in the world.

    • October 12, 2009 11:50 am

      i love when husbands say that about their brides.

      brent always tells me im most beautiful in my sweats and sweatshirt, hair piled on top my head and no make-up. its a bit too blah for me – but im not uncomfortable like that either. but…brent helps me to not be uncomfy.

      so i applaud you husbands that support and encourage and inspire your wives to embrace the beauty that YOU see in them!

  5. October 12, 2009 2:49 am

    I too can count in single digits the number of times my better half has worn makeup since we have been married (8 years).

    I think it’s only to do with bravery if you use it as a mask.

    • October 12, 2009 11:48 am

      and you probably think shes the most beautiful woman in your life, right? which i think should be the most important opinion to us women.

  6. October 12, 2009 3:07 am

    Well considering where I live …. I rarely ever where make-up. It just melts off anyways! I only wear it to church & if my husband & I go on a date (which like never happens). Definitely don’t think that makes me brave. I’d like to be considered brave for adopting 3 kids who had a rough start in life not for my all-natural looks!

    • October 12, 2009 11:46 am

      “I’d like to be considered brave for adopting 3 kids who had a rough start in life not for my all-natural looks!”

      and you should be considered brave. you are in my mind!

      and they are blessed!

  7. October 12, 2009 5:01 am

    this made my morning! okay my two cents-
    *not wearing makeup does not make one brave, joining the military and fighting for our country is brave..just saying
    * Plz Plz Plz..no matter how poor one is, brush your hair and your teeth, be clean…
    *I don’t wear much makeup but only because of allergies, so i have learned to be comfortable in my own skin
    *i do love to see a woman with makeup done well, its artistry 😯 love it!
    *i have way more than two cents on here….shoot

    Love you pretty ladies, with or without..but by all means shave! πŸ˜†

    • October 12, 2009 11:45 am

      “not wearing makeup does not make one brave, joining the military and fighting for our country is brave..”

      amen!!! im think of tobys wife, ria. she defines beauty!

      the other day i forgot to shave my underarms. no one knew cuz i didnt show them, but i felt “icky” all day. its all perspective and our own comfort level. funny.

      youre a hottie.

  8. Heidi permalink
    October 12, 2009 5:25 am

    I watched all the tweets on this subject and there were alot of good thoughts on this subject.

    For Me:

    I turn 43 this Friday, and I just started wearing makeup a little.
    I did not wear makeup because I was lazy or anything like that, BUT because I didn’t want to be enhanced.

    I am a bigger girl and I personally I wasn’t feeling all that well about myself because of what I WAS TOLD FOR YEARS and what I had soon believed.

    BUT….

    I am beautiful to my Master Creater.

    He doesn’t care that I am starting to wrinkle and blemish.

    BUT here’s another kicker….

    When I bought my first set of makeup oh probably 2 years ago, I fell in love with it for the correct reasons.
    My eyes do pop when I take time to “pop” them.

    Secondly, I am not doing it for YOU!(whomever reads this). If I want to “pop” I do it for me.

    gals you forgot: PLUCK those chin hairs!

    • October 12, 2009 6:25 am

      bwahahaha yes by all means okuck those chin hairs!

    • October 12, 2009 11:43 am

      i will be one of those friends who tell you to pluck too πŸ˜‰

      and you have gorgeous eyes, heidi!

  9. October 12, 2009 6:16 am

    I see my wife without makeup all of the time, but I’m not sure I’ve ever seen her leave the house without it on. The word “beauty” doesn’t begin to explain what I see in my wife, but I truly believe she doesn’t give a rip what anyone else thinks. She puts the stuff on for her……Her face, her money, her choice.

    All of that said, it has nothing to do with why she is brave….She’s a soldier in the US Army and would fight and die for you in a heartbeat! That, my friends, is brave.

    • October 12, 2009 11:42 am

      “She’s a soldier in the US Army and would fight and die for you in a heartbeat! That, my friends, is brave.”

      i am a ball of mess after reading this! i love your wife!!! and yes, THAT is bravery!

      please give Ria a gigantic hug and sincere thank you from me?

  10. Kim permalink
    October 12, 2009 6:58 am

    Growing up, I always caught a lot of flack because I wasn’t a “girly” kind of girl. I didn’t enjoy putting on make up and wearing dresses (really, I hated the panty hose). I enjoyed athletics and being outside. Many assumed that I was gay and didn’t hesitate to share their condescending remarks. To that regard, I can see why one might say it is brave. There are a lot of hateful people in this world. Sometimes it takes courage to stand up and be who you are not giving in to social pressure to conform. I don’t disagree with bravery being associated with serving in the military, etc. I’m just saying there are varying degrees of bravery. What may seem easy to one may be terribly difficult to another.

    I was (and am) comfortable with me as a person, and I don’t worry about what society thinks I should or shouldn’t do. Today, I don’t wear make up on a day-to-day basis. I do wear it when I want to, mainly on special occasions or holiday gatherings. I have been married for 20 years now, and my husband thinks I am beautiful.

    • October 12, 2009 11:38 am

      i think what youve said is key. you are comfortable in your own skin, with who you are. and i applaud you! i love that youve not allowed the media and hype to influence you to think less of yourself! well done πŸ™‚

  11. October 12, 2009 7:19 am

    Judi wears makeup and I like it. On the other hand, I don’t mind if she doesn’t wear it.
    I think makeup and all things cosmetic get made out to be some kind of evil club that not being a part of makes you some kind of saint. Not sure why this is but it’s kind of asinine. Whether or not one wears makeup lends no virtue to oneself.

    I comb my hair before I go out of the house and if I don’t feel like combing the hair, I put on a hat. Does this make me vain?

    • October 12, 2009 1:12 pm

      my favorite comment!

    • October 12, 2009 2:13 pm

      i love how judi wears make-up. she makes it look fun.

      “I think makeup and all things cosmetic get made out to be some kind of evil club that not being a part of makes you some kind of saint.”

      you know…youre right. ive met a few people who’ve not worn makeup and the air about them is that they are somehow holier and less focused on self and more on God, or sumpin. but, i dont buy it.

  12. October 12, 2009 8:15 am

    Beauty is in the heart…only.

  13. October 12, 2009 9:25 am

    Ok, I’m the only one so far that is going to say this:

    I’m totally freaking insecure without makeup. Heck, I can pick myself apart without trying when I have makeup on. Hence, the dog as my avatar.

    I have 2 older sisters and my uncle once said to me, “Your sisters are so pretty. Do you get jealous?” My mom owned a Merle Norman cosmetics store and was always touching up my makeup or saying “Natural beauty takes time.” I think for me, the whole anorexia thing and the makeup tied together… anything to improve on what was there.

    I was actually getting a little better about it, and then the Cushing’s hit. Only a handful of people have seen me since June, partially because I’m humiliated by how I look, and partially because it was really hard for them to see me [it’s a dramatic change]. Let’s just say it hasn’t helped matters. I did Skype with Matthew and Jessica so I could see Elias, but they let me leave my camera off. [after Jess reminded me that i was ignorant :)]

    Yes, I do wonder sometimes if this didn’t happen to me for a reason so I could learn to deal with this. But truth is, it’s not working all that well. *shrug*

    By the way, you both are beautiful. Pretty sure I wouldn’t have thought twice about the makeup if you wouldn’t have brought it up.

    • October 12, 2009 11:36 am

      i can not even come close to wrapping my head around someone, anyone, saying that to you. gitz, you are one of the most beautiful women i know. i remember the first time i showed kass your pic…her mouth just dropped. brent feels the same way! what adds to your beauty is your character, your heart. i speak no fluff here, only truth.

  14. October 12, 2009 9:46 am

    You forgot to mention deodorant… please people, wear deodorant!

    I tried makeup in HS but I can’t stand it. The most I wear is chapstick and moisturizer… My mom doesn’t wear makeup and she looks great. I’m getting older but I’ll follow my mom on this one. No makeup for me.

    Fighting cancer is brave, going without makeup is your choice.

    • October 12, 2009 11:34 am

      how could i have forgotten deodorant?? especially with a preteen boy 😯

  15. October 12, 2009 10:41 am

    I loved watching this twitsation (twitter conversation…ya, just came up with it right now. It was fun. But the more i spent some time thinking on it the more i realized why i dont wear make up. it is not cause i want to be “brave” but because i am lazy…and i am very insecure about my appearance. I actually would go as far to say that i hate the way i look, so instead of trying to fix it and wearing make up i avoid mirrors like they were the swine flu.

    I guess i took the opposite of most women. and i never was taught how to wear make up…i can put it on for special occasions, but i dont like it cause i have to spend some time in the mirror. its interesting that insecurity can make you run to making it look better or cover it up, or in my case it makes me avoid it.

    but i dont wear make up…like ever. just chapstick. I dont know the difference between foundation, blush, powder…i can guess, but i am honestly oblivious.

    • October 12, 2009 11:32 am

      lynse – you dont “need” any. the only thing we talked about when you were here was skin care, like moisturizer and eye cream. i wish i would have used it in my 20’s and early 30’s. im regretting it now. especially the sunscreen factor πŸ˜•

  16. October 12, 2009 10:45 am

    i love you two! i LOVE your message! i want IN on the club!

    • October 12, 2009 11:30 am

      come join! its only 29.95 a month.

      πŸ˜€

      • October 13, 2009 3:50 pm

        um… i’m gonna need a scholarship. πŸ˜‰

  17. October 12, 2009 10:50 am

    this reminds me of a time when i posted about “baring it all” – removing the barriers between you and me. no make-up. hair not all fixed up. no zip cover up. i posted a before all that picture and an after. unafraid of what others might think of me. there is something freeing about knowing that beauty isn’t on the outside, and isn’t determined by what i put on my face or how i fix my hair. thank you for joining the revolution of real and encouraging your daughter to do the same.

    http://www.pinkhairedgirl.net/?p=450

    • October 12, 2009 10:53 am

      that post was from over 2 years ago. i had bigger eyebrows back then. lol.

    • October 12, 2009 11:30 am

      oh my goodness woman! you are stunning either way!

  18. October 12, 2009 11:36 am

    I must admit that if I know I have a skype staff meeting, I remember to put makeup on. But I often go out to the store or running other errands bare-faced. I care a LOT less than I used to.

    But brave? No. Brave is doing something at great personal risk. No risk in casting aside the Mary Kay for the day!

    • October 12, 2009 12:06 pm

      you just made me think about one of the last skype calls i had and i remembered being more concerned about the condition of my hair than my face. cuz it was a hot mess. to which i immediately grabbed a hat before the camera went on 😯

  19. October 12, 2009 11:56 am

    I think I’m a dissenter here too. As someone who struggled her entire life with horrible self image, it IS brave for me. I was in my twenties the first time I went to the grocery store without makeup on. And I didn’t do that without a lot of thought and prayer because I didn’t WANT to feel the way I felt about myself, I knew God didn’t want me to feel the way I felt about myself and so for me to do that was incredibly scary and vulnerable and necessary. I don’t know how to explain it well, even my girlfriends who know me intimately and helped me work through it don’t fully understand because they don’t feel the way I feel about myself. They are like you, they can be okay with natural. It’s not a thought to them, but it’s been paralyzing to me in the past. It’s a concious effort for me every day to work on cultivating the beauty of God in my heart rather than obsess over outwardly beauty or believe the lies that satan allowed people to assault me with in my youth. And I think that if your heart has suffered that sort of hurt over an issue, it is brave to confront it even if it seems shallow to anyone else. It’s an intensely personal battle, and no it isn’t brave like fighting for our country is. That is heroic and and not even comparable. But there are different types of bravery and for me, if I were to put that face forward it might not be a brave thing to do but it would be brave of ME to do it. If that makes any sense πŸ™‚

    • October 12, 2009 12:03 pm

      that does make sense. and thank you SO much for sharing your heart here like you did πŸ™‚

      i do think it is brave of you, but in my mind, its not as much that you didnt wear makeup in public that made it brave…the statement you made, imo, is that you looked the people in the face who belittled you in your past and you told them…im brave enough to stand tall in spite of your words! so you going without makeup goes much deeper than not wanting to because of not wanting a blemish or dark circles to be seen.

      so, i applaud you too!

  20. October 12, 2009 12:05 pm

    are you going to use the $29.95 fee we pay to join the club to purchase makeup? πŸ™‚

    i usually go a couple days a week without any makeup… mainly because i’m lazy and i love not having to wash my face at night. i’m all-natural today… except for my hair which has some highlights! oops!

    • October 12, 2009 12:07 pm

      no. im gonna save all the monthly fees to come visit you, of course!

      girl – ive seen you without makeup and i seriously wanted to start throwing punches. not fair!

  21. mrs lasky permalink
    October 12, 2009 12:05 pm

    i’ve always considered make-up, a good accesory item, like a belt, earrings, etc. in general, make-up is supposed to be used to ‘enhance’ your natural features…lol…not cover them up.

    personally, i’ve rocked some severe/dramatic looks helped immensely by cosmetics – from hard core punk, goth and hey…i was in high school in the 80’s…without my black eye liner, i never felt like superman in front of kryptonite. i never felt brave leaving the house in a siouxise tee without my eyeliner. so, all that to say, zero make up is not a brave choice. as pointed out, those who serve and battle for our freedom and others rights – that’s bravery in action. police officers and firefighters…those are acts of bravery. me rocking only skin care when i leave the house? not brave even a little.

    just for kicks, go look up the definition of ‘brave’…everything from exhibiting courage to ‘making a fine appearence’. makes me wonder how they truly define, ‘fine’.

    and, an interesting side note…for those who know me, and know what my husband does for a living, lol…i send all the free make-up to friends and i totally hoard the skin care πŸ™‚

    excellent post, miss!

    • October 12, 2009 12:10 pm

      you spoke so perfectly to this subject. thank you! i seriously cant add a thing here. πŸ™‚

      and now i have to know…what does your man do for a living??? πŸ˜‰

      and i love me some good skin care. i just recently switched from a brand i had used for years and finally settled on something basic and is doing fairly well. but i am definitely more concerned with good skin care than good make up.

      • mrs lasky permalink
        October 12, 2009 12:24 pm

        my husband if the VP/CFO for a very large cosmetic and skin care company…email me directly and i will tell you who and throw some swag your way πŸ˜‰

        xo

      • October 12, 2009 1:26 pm

        Tam, what are you using?? I was using a super $pendy ARBONNE product to try to help my ever changing hormonal skin (read: I’m getting older and my skin is changing!) and it wasn’t working. I switched to the GENERIC form of CETAPHIL and it seems to be repairing…. blows my mind!

  22. October 12, 2009 1:21 pm

    makeup is a second skin for me. Yes, I leave the house without it, but I never prefer to. When I do, it’s eyes down-don’t make eye contact with anyone-wear a hat. When I have it on, I’m confident-look straight ahead-smile at everyone.

    Until recently I never argued with Jake without having makeup on. I felt inferior, less confident. My issues are deep, much like Gitz. Reading her comment got me all misty eyed.

    My step dad used to tell me he could see a fat girl in me waiting to burst out, that I had thunder thighs, and I looked like a less attractive Molly Ringwold. But with makeup on, the compliments rolled in. I felt powerful, like I could change opinions of those around me ABOUT me… and I was hooked.

    I never go without makeup around people/friends until I feel comfortable with them. A friend here is so wonderful about building me up when I don’t wear any…tells me I’m beautiful, that it’s not an “in your face” pretty like when I wear makeup, but more subtle, soft. Anyone who has known me for a long time knows I pile it on. I look like two different people. Now, it’s not TACKY either. I LOVE my makeup. I agree with Darla in that it looks like art when done right…. and I love to play with it. I just need to get to a place where I wear it for ME, and not for the opinions of those around me, and not to alter my confidence level…. because right now, those are the only reasons I wear it.

    • October 12, 2009 2:22 pm

      i can NOT believe he said those things to you, about you. i mean, i believe it, its just so…unbelievable. wow!

      brandy, as someone who has had the honor of knowing you since you were a wee one high school – i have always, always thought you are one of the prettiest young women around. i thought that when you were in our h.s. group too. i understand the bonds you are in to makeup and the whys. and my heart totally breaks because of it. cuz it has nothin to do with the makeup and so much to do with your emotions and forced perception of yourself by the hands and words of another. frankly, it makes me mad!

      sigh.

      you. are. beautiful.

      always have been – will always be!

  23. October 12, 2009 1:23 pm

    Also, not a day has gone by since my conversation with Brent on twitter about this that I haven’t deeply pondered this very topic. If the subject of wearing makeup brings me to tears…something is wrong. yes? πŸ˜‰

  24. October 12, 2009 1:31 pm

    watching this right now (yes I commented first) and Kass is SO CUTE. You are too of course πŸ˜‰ but Kass’s face just makes me smile.

  25. October 12, 2009 2:00 pm

    Going against the tide, peer pressure, is always risky, and takes courage. It is very risky for a fashion magazine to put models on their cover who are not wearing make-up. You don’t by a fashion magazine unless your are interested in appearance. The fashion magazine with the better looking models is the one that will sell the most copies.

    In a community where women don’t wear make-up, the Amish for example, any women who does wear it will be treated as an outcast. When I was a young man, in the 60’s, the “earth mothers” of the hippie movement, and those of the “women’s liberation” movement, stopped wearing makeup. Also the standard in a communistic society is for everyone to wear the same style clothes, and no make or jewelry.

    Wearing make-up is just one part of the desire to look better. To any who says appearances doesn’t matter I ask do you have any mirrors in your house? I will admit that I never leave my condo without first checking out how I look in the mirror. Being just a tad vain, probably two or three times. πŸ™‚

    When did that handsome young devil turn into that old, bald, guy. πŸ™‚ Fortunately for me the women I now date don’t see as well as they use too. πŸ™‚

    A women competing in the world of men, such as in business, must pay attention to the image she projects. The same is true of men of course. This is certainly true of actors, and models.

    The art of tattooing goes back to the earliest civilizations. What is the difference between adoring our bodies with tattoos and wearing makeup? At least you can take the makeup off. πŸ™‚

    Any obsession with appearances is not healthy, just like any obsession.

    Way too many in our society are obsessed with appearances. I am don’t think that makes us different that most other societies, past or present.

    So Tam which no makeup club do you want to join? The Amish, the communist, the earth mothers, or the women libbers? πŸ™‚

    • October 12, 2009 2:27 pm

      “So Tam which no makeup club do you want to join? The Amish, the communist, the earth mothers, or the women libbers? :)”

      um. the, i dont give a crap what so and so thinks about my face club.

      πŸ˜†

      you bring up a good point about women competing with men in the workforce. theyre under a lot of pressure. and i believe that pressure isnt coming from themselves, but from outside sources. the “they” people. “they” say this. “they” say that. “they” say its better if…”

      why do we let so many of “them” dictate and decide who we will be or are?

      and most the women you date cant see you well most likely cuz youre blinding them with your good looks, ed πŸ˜‰

      • October 12, 2009 11:43 pm

        You are right Tam the pressure to look dress, or look, a certain way comes from the “they” people, not the women themselves.

        In the business world it’s the people on top of the corporate ladder who decide what the proper corporate look will be. If you want to climb that ladder then you dress as they dictate. The same is true in law firms.

        If you don’t want someone else to make those kinds of decisions for you then your option is to start your own business.

        In the entertainment industry, and sales work, your appearances has a huge impact on your success.

        The good news now is that in many fields now, such as computers, science, and repair jobs, the only thing that counts is how well you do your job, not your appearence.

  26. October 13, 2009 4:08 pm

    Note how I totally side-skipped this post…as I possibly wear more make up than my wife.

    Mainly cos I reckon Diane looks better without it, and that way she has time to apply my guyliner.

    Oh darn, secret’s out….. πŸ™„

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