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“benefits of abortion”

January 25, 2010

i had my first abortion at the tender of 16. already living on my own. a little girl playing grown up.

when i first found out i was pregnant i was stunned. why i was shocked i have no idea. most young girls are not using protection when faced with an unwanted pregnancy. but the thought of getting pregnant never seems to cross the mind.

i knew fairly quickly that i would not keep this baby. whether i thought it was wrong or not didnt matter…i was not going to have a kid. sitting across from the nurse while having my vitals taken, she was very clinical. she had a job to do. she gave me a few pamphlets on what to expect after the abortion and different options for birth control. not one time did she, or the doctor, mention keeping the baby.

its like there were no other options. this was the only one. maybe things are different now. maybe they couldnt say anything to me. i suppose if they had mentioned alternatives i may not have given them my business. i fear thats what abortion has turned into. a business. a heartless and cold business.

so, i held tight to the pamphlets and tried to get as much information from them as possible. most of it had to do with getting post-op checks, deciding on a course of action for birth control and payment plan options. and theres that one line i recall reading, under the benefits of abortion, that said after the termination i would have peace of mind.


an 11 week old. this is how far long the baby was when i had my 1st abortion.

this does not give me peace of mind.

(photo from CBR)

80 Comments leave one →
  1. January 25, 2010 2:51 pm

    I don’t see how it could give anyone piece of mind.

  2. pokinatcha permalink
    January 25, 2010 2:53 pm

    Wow! I worked in pre press for a printing company that printed magazines. I almost threw up at a picture I saw of aborted babies in these buckets. Heartbreaking.

  3. January 25, 2010 2:56 pm

    If anyone ever had a doubt about whether to call a fetus ALIVE, please stare at that picture until YOU GET IT!

  4. January 25, 2010 2:57 pm

    I am speechless.

  5. January 25, 2010 3:00 pm

    There’s that guilt thing popping it’s ugly head out of it’s dark hole in my mind! Not having piece of mind leads to guilt for me. I can’t go back, but I can keep moving forward and learn how to make that negative a positive. Whether it’s positive for me or for someone else.

    After this morning’s little discussion I left to go to a 12 step meeting. Topic? Find joy in witnessing the recovery of another. To get out of myself & give praise to another person who is getting the message of recovery. To go along with this I was reminded of the words of MercyMe’s new song, “All of Creation”: “The moment Hope was born And guilt was pardoned once & for all”. Wow. Really? For all? Really?

    I think I’ve gotten my lesson for the day. I will be positive and know that Jesus died for a reason….

  6. January 25, 2010 3:02 pm

    Quite the opposite of peace. There’s a good reason these pictures aren’t part of the propaganda…

  7. January 25, 2010 3:07 pm

    Right there with you Tam – I had my first (and I hope only) abortion when I was 17. 10 weeks gestation.

    And afterwards…

    Relief it was all over? Yes (how little I knew…it was not ‘all over’)

    Peace of mind? Not so much.

    And of the women who come in to my place of work seeking post abortion support, do they have peace of mind? Not so much.

    I didn’t receive a single leaflet about abortion. I got handed a sheet about medical procedure & risks for a few seconds to glance over & hand back before I agreed to the procedure at my pre-op appointment. I don’t even remember going for a post-op check up (that might have been because I didn’t show up for it, I can’t remember much directly afterwards).I’m glad in Scotland there are people trying to make the pre-abortion information better.

    But if I could have the words to say what I’ve heard, the way it is talked about amongst abortion providers & researchers….yep, it made me want to throw up.

    I’m in the middle of rewriting posts with my own story as some folks new to my blog/twitter have been asking about it. Thank you for being so brave sharing yours Tam


  8. January 25, 2010 3:14 pm

    Peace of mind? No way. Heartbreak and outrage and tragedy.

  9. January 25, 2010 3:20 pm

    no peace of mind.

    i love you. always. forever.

  10. January 25, 2010 3:39 pm


  11. January 25, 2010 3:44 pm

    I just now learned a single picture can bring you to tears in about 2 seconds flat.

    I love you.

  12. January 25, 2010 3:52 pm

    wow – you can count the fingers and toes! That’s the first thought that came to mind…

    THAT needs to be on those pamphlets. Proof that it is a baby – tiny, yet already with arms, legs, fingers and toes at 11 weeks. A heart that beats.

    *heavy sigh*

    no, there is no peace of mind in that.

  13. January 25, 2010 3:58 pm

    wow…this brings it home. very good Tam

  14. January 25, 2010 4:25 pm

    oh my….immediate tears in my eyes and heart aching. You are so brave for posting this, Tam!

  15. Toni permalink
    January 25, 2010 4:33 pm

    Very powerful. Thank you for being strong enough to share!

  16. January 25, 2010 4:35 pm

    Tammy, meet my best friend Toni ^up there^ 😉

    I reposted you on FB. Thinking about reposting you all week.

  17. January 25, 2010 4:39 pm

    Thank you for sharing that.

  18. Ingrid permalink
    January 25, 2010 4:45 pm

    Dang. Your written words make a strong case but that picture really drives it home.

  19. tamihoban permalink
    January 25, 2010 5:03 pm

    oh lord, tam. i’m so sorry. it’s heartbreaking and maddening that the whole thing has come down to this clinical, cold process. and you’re right. it’s a business.

  20. January 25, 2010 6:09 pm

    so heart breaking…

  21. Janette permalink
    January 25, 2010 8:22 pm

    Wow! My heart could barely stand to see the picture! You are so brave to write and I thank YOU!

  22. Melissa Maxson permalink
    January 25, 2010 9:05 pm

    I was led here by my friend Brandy’s Facebook post. Heartwrenching. I’m compelled to follow your posts this week. Thank you for getting the word out. I truly hope it will open eyes and change the minds of some. The pictures… sad. Sweet lil babies. My heart hurts.

  23. January 26, 2010 10:52 am

    I love you Friend and I am thankful for you and for your heart and for your journey and for your words and for healing and for Grace and for Christ in your life. May you find His Peace as you work through this week. I love you. I love you.

  24. Jackie permalink
    January 26, 2010 12:09 pm

    No peace of mind what so ever…

  25. January 26, 2010 1:48 pm

    Sending this one to Patrick, our Carenet director.

  26. January 26, 2010 3:05 pm


  27. January 26, 2010 4:01 pm

    oh wow, friend.

    sometimes, if i’m being most honest with myself, i wonder if i’d be so gripped by fear and uncertainty that i’d make the unthinkable choice of abortion.

    and then there’s that picture.

  28. Herron permalink
    January 26, 2010 7:52 pm

    I’m pro life have been from the beginning of finding out about abortions. They never set right with me. I got to thinking today after reading an article that I’ve never came across any benefits list to abortion(besides being “free” from having a baby). So I went to google to see if I was missing anything.

    Nope. Instead many articles and post were about the pain caused by them. I really can’t understand why it’s an issue now. It all seems so apparent abortion is not good! It’s painful and sad. A better thing would to teach about safe sex or making a choice to abstain AND teach about what abortion really is. It’s not just poofing away a “fetus”(as if that means not a baby).

    Thank you for your post I can only hope it helps others understand.

    • January 26, 2010 11:39 pm

      thank you for joining in on the discussion. i appreciate it very much…

      youre very right. problem is – the articles you found that talked about the pain caused by abortion will not be found in the places theyre needed most….the abortion clinics. and it isnt information the doctors and nurses there are sharing with the patients.

      that is so incredibly sad.

  29. January 26, 2010 8:13 pm

    Oh wow. See because I’ve never been a mom, and when I had the miscarriage I only was so far along, but wow…this puts it into perspective. the thing about it, unless you’ve lost a baby in someway shape or form, then usually people can’t understand what its like. What it does to you.
    I am sure it has taken years to heal from this Tam, I know how it feels to sit in the hospital chair and wonder if you’ve done something terribly wrong by even becoming pregnant so young, but at the same time you had it worse, because you also had to deal with your heart that the guilt wasn’t going to be quite over. I am SURE that sucked. okay reading next post…

  30. Gitz permalink
    January 26, 2010 11:56 pm

    I just recently talked with a woman who told me of her abortion that a doctor recommended because of a chance that something was wrong with the baby. The pain in her eyes was so apparent as she said it was the right thing to do because the doctor said so. Makes me so sad that she was just one more patient to him, but she has to continue to live with the pain of the decision.

  31. January 27, 2010 3:20 am

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  32. February 1, 2010 10:30 am

    Oh God.

  33. stephanie arboleda permalink
    March 17, 2010 11:00 pm

    wow you are a such an evil fucking person! how can u do that to that poor innocent baby who did nothing to you! i hope this haunts you forever! do u know how many people cant have babies or have miscarriages how do u think that feels for them?!

    • March 18, 2010 7:25 am

      your words are the very reason why people like Tam live in silence about the choices they’ve made. thankfully the Lord has forgiven her and all of us who will accept it and we don’t have to live in bondage to our shame and guilt. and instead, help others not to make the same choices we did.

      may you come to know the kind of Love it takes forgive and accept it for yourself.

    • March 18, 2010 7:37 am

      It’s funny…I was just writing a blog post for my site about Tammy and how she had to not only overcome her choices but the people who would condemn her for those choices. Thank you for providing us with an example of what I was writing in my post. I hope that you will be able to experience the power of forgiveness that the Lord can provide those who have made mistakes in their lives.

    • catie permalink
      March 18, 2010 8:04 am

      My heart hearts for you, Stephanie. . .
      My heart hearts that you do not know Tam, my heart hearts that you have not read her story, know her heart aches, understood grace of the Father, her strength as a mother. . .
      All you see are fears and failures.
      You have not seen the kindess of a Savior.
      Tam has, she has and she lives the message out loud.
      She shares her story to display all that God has done in her life.
      This was not about bearen women, it was about how the world justifies abortion – and some odd years later Tam realizes how wrong that world is.

      Please take a moment and re-read what you wrote. . .and I challenge you to find your motive in writing AND to figure out what good you thought it would bring. . .

      I too am moved by abortion – since I was young it’s something that I passionately spoke against – but anger and hurtful words do not change hearts. . .it’s the kindness of our Savior that turns pain into hope. I chanllenge you to re-think those words.

    • March 18, 2010 8:05 am

      Hey Stephanie,
      It sounds like you are really passionate about life, and about protecting it at all costs. And from your comment about miscarriage, it sounds like you, or someone you know has suffered the grief of losing a child. That’s an incredibly deep sorrow, and I am sorry for all who go through that.
      Clearly, you feel that sorrow deeply, not just for those who have had miscarriages but for those who have never had the opportunity to carry a child at all.

      That sharing of grief is a beautiful thing, and points to a heart that wants to value life.

      You’ve read Tammy’s words, and the sorrow of a life lost is very much real and tender. I’m sorry for how angry you feel right now, but I also want to remind you that in life, we all fall down and we all make mistakes.

      Most painful are those we can never take back.
      Most haunting are the ones we can never fix, or repay or go back and change.
      Those choices ache in our hearts for months and years afterward. When we hear the cries of children God later blesses us with. When friends grieve over children lost. When we feel cramps each month or lie awake at night in grief for a world that lied to us and told us they could fix our world and make it safe.

      Just being angry with abortion will never do any good.
      Hating people who have fallen down in a world that should have protected them—teenagers are not adults, they are little girls who find themselves in a great big world—does not help.

      I’m sorry you’re so angry.
      I’m sorry for the grief and rage you feel.

      But please, direct it to the good. Ask God to turn it into a passion that helps.
      Open your heart and home to a teenaged mother.
      Treat girls you’d call “sluts” as if they were your daughter.
      Fight evil with love.

      And forgive those who have fallen.

      In the end, that choice alone will protect and cherish life much more than anger. Clearly, you have it in your heart to stand for life.
      So please, stand in love.


    • March 18, 2010 8:28 am

      oh stephanie… so, tell us what’s really bothering you.

      and… yes, TAM does empathize with people who have difficulty having children and have miscarriages. why do i know? because i’m one of those people… and she is MY friend.

      so thank you for caring for the “underdog” like me… but we’re all underdogs. it’s how we choose to move past it that’s true beauty.

      i hope you find peace in your life’s journey and stop attacking people you don’t know on their blog sites. maybe next time you’ll be bold enough to attach your email.

    • March 18, 2010 9:04 am

      Stephanie, you sound desperate for some good prayer covering…interesting way to get it…but Tam has so many Jesus loving readers that I know will be praying for your broken soul! Tam knows she is doing exactly what the Holy Spirit has empowered her to do…and that is to share the incredible POWER of God, a God that makes ALL THINGS NEW! I pray you know that someday!!

    • March 18, 2010 9:24 am


      i can only speculate where your anger is coming from. and because i dont know for sure, i cant speak directly about it to you. i dont know you.

      what i can tell you is, this…

      “wow you are a such an evil fucking person! how can u do that to that poor innocent baby who did nothing to you”

      ive asked myself this question countless times. countless, stephanie. for years, i woke each morning feeling so dark inside. some days, i was afraid of what i might do. i hated myself. i knew what i did was evil. and i thought what i did was unforgivable.

      thankfully…i know better now.

      if you were a regular reader of this blog, you would have known before you shared your words that i am not an evil person who has no regrets. ive spent years ministering to women, and men, who have chosen abortion. i have stood for them when theyve been too weak to stand on their own. because ive been there.

      and because ive been there, i can speak to this issue.

      i can not go back and change what ive done. all i can do is use my experiences to speak healing, truth and hope in the lives of those who live under the weight of their choices.

      this is my calling. this my ministry.

      God has been more than gracious to me. He extended forgiveness when i couldnt even forgive myself. and because i am covered in that grace i want you to know that i care for you as well. im sorry for your apparent pain. i wish it wasnt so. know that i, along with all these commenters, are praying for you, stephanie.

      feel free to contact me any time.

      • March 18, 2010 9:37 am

        “God has been more than gracious to me. He extended forgiveness when i couldnt even forgive myself. and because i am covered in that grace i want you to know that i care for you as well”

        I love you so much Tammy…

      • March 18, 2010 10:01 am

        Tammy, you are beautiful. Your story, your ministry and your heart so remind me of the words of Joseph so many years ago with regard to the places where God does not avert evil: “….God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives.”

        Your willingness to share your pain, as well as to open your heart to judgment and cruelty is a beautiful thing. There is healing here for many who, too, have fallen, and need grace to stand.

        I love you and I am proud to *know* you.

    • Ingrid permalink
      March 18, 2010 9:35 am

      Stephanie, I’d say you missed the heart behind what Tam is doing here. Hopefully clarity will come to you soon?
      And Tam, your heart is good. HE knows it and I know it because it is made evident on this blog – this post even. Thank you for putting yourself out there – saying what so many will only be tormented with – and showing that grace and forgiveness are at the ready.
      Praying for you both today.

    • March 18, 2010 3:38 pm

      Dear Stephanie,

      I’m sorry you’re full of anger, and I kind of get it. But when I woke up to see how you’d spoken out that anger and aimed it at Tam…well, it made me angry. I couldn’t respond to your comment straight away, because I might have directed some swear words right back at you too.

      You see, I work in a pregnancy crisis centre. And I’m there with people who are faced with a truly difficult decision in some circumstances that I hope you’d find extremely difficult to imagine. I also support women through post-abortion recovery. You know what stops them seeking help or even drivintg them to have the termination in the first place?

      People shouting about the scandal. People judging. People preaching or telling them what to do.

      You think I also don’t know the pain of miscarriage? 1 in 5 pregnancies end in miscarriage. It’s painful emotionally and physically. I see clients through our centre going through miscarriage recovery not to mention friends who have gone through this painful loss too.

      I had an abortion when I was 17. You think I don’t think about that or have regrets? I absolutely do. You don’t think I know the consequences of living with that knowledge day to day? Thankfully when I confessed the choice I made to terminate my pregnancy to other people, I received nothing but love, grace and compassion. And the only person who has the right to judge me is God. I asked for forgiveness, He gave it.

      You think I don’t know what infertility is like? I know the decision I made. Now I have a medical condition that makes it unlikely that I’ll ever be able to give birth to a child.

      Tam and I – we share our stories so that people who are secretly struggling may have courage to seek help without fear of condemnation. We believe in a God that forgives, redeems and restores.

  34. Niki permalink
    March 18, 2010 7:39 am

    Wow. Great post!
    As for you Stephanie, your words are absolutely uncalled for. Everyone makes mistakes and we are all sinners. Be careful that you group sins in certain categories. Did you speed in your car this week? That sin and abortion are seen the same in Gods eyes. By His GRACE, we are all forgiven.

  35. Laurie permalink
    March 18, 2010 8:09 am

    Thank you for being so honest. I too was a young mother as I gave birth to my first child at 17 but I did choose to keep my child and have since had two more and adopted one. I know the pressure and emotion that teenage mothers face and I also know the grace that God bestows all of us. Praise God for His mercies!! I haven’t had an abortion but I have sinned in every other aspect of my life-as we all have. People are always going to be heartless and say stupid things because it helps to deture them from the HUGE plank in their own eye. Keep you head up, keep being honest and real and His mercy and grace will continue to flow threw u to others who have experienced abortion. Testimony is the most powerful witness of Jesus Christ…guard it, speak it, embrace it and cherish it. 🙂

  36. March 18, 2010 8:17 am

    wow tammy thank you for sharing your heart! it’s sad that you, stephanie, feel the need to cut someone down for admitting what we are shown in scripture: that we are ALL sinners, all in need of grace and mercy. billy graham said “the ground is always level at the foot of the cross!”

  37. March 18, 2010 9:04 am

    Keep doing what God has told you to do. Proud of you!

  38. March 18, 2010 10:31 am

    It says a lot about you and the people around you in how you all responded to those words. On other blogs I’ve seen the readers respond with equal venom and anger towards someone else…here love and grace has been extended. I hope that Stephanie sees the responses and is as touched by all of them as I was.
    Bravo to you for being so transparent here and talking about something many people would cover up. God has truly used it to bring about good.

  39. March 18, 2010 11:58 am

    Tam, right from when I first started lurking your blog close to 2 years ago, no matter the subject matter you were writing about, it was always clear to me that you were someone who’d truly understood the scandalous grace God extended to us when He gave His own Son to die for us. I didn’t know details, but I didn’t need to either. Now that I do know details, it makes me appreciate you even more.

    While I am saddened that not everyone else is able to see that straight up, my heart goes out to Stephanie and others who feel the same condemnation without making it public and I pray they too experience that radical grace in their own lives.

    Love from down under (though soon to be from the motherland, or something) 🙂

  40. Laura permalink
    March 18, 2010 6:37 pm

    Gosh, I’m speechless, tearful, angry, wishing I could understand how someone could be so
    cruel and non-understanding of someone else. I haven’t known Tammy very long and don’t know her that well, but she has inspired me to start a blog, talk about my own abortion (of which no one new, not even my husband and kids) play the piano and sing again, grow in my relationship with God and Jesus Christ, and yearn to be a better person. If Tammy is horrible for having an abortion, then I am blessed if I am half the person she is! Thank you Tammy for what you have done for me that you weren’t even aware you did! I pray for grace and strength every day, for us all!

  41. March 18, 2010 7:57 pm

    Tamster, I love you. I may not be able to appreciate what you’ve gone through or how many times you have to address hurtful, ill-informed comments, but I do appreciate HOW you live your life.

    Integrity, honesty and transparency are such cliches & words that get bandied about easily in the blog world, but it’s often not in the BEING there, but the GETTING there that you see those qualities most evident. And you are getting there my sister, and you are doing it with such grace. It’s true, you see it in people’s fruit. Comparing your story and what you share with Stephanie’s comment is like comparing apples to oranges in so many ways. You have let us see into the dark, dangerous corners of your life, exposing your past to horrible, knee-jerk and ill-judged comments. To take a lesson from chemistry – it’s at the clash of two elements we can see the properties of each most clearly; and you’ve come up as refined, pure gold, my sweet Tam.

    I am hesitant to address ‘Stephanie’ because I doubt she’s reading, and I suspect she’s a bit of a troll, and the first rule of things like these is ‘don’t feed the troll’.

    Sorry if that’s incorrect, because that’s a lot of vitriol right there, and the girl needs some help, but I doubt she’ll take it from a blog or commenters who are evil by association. So….we pray that she gets overwhelmed by grace and realises that when she most needs help, it’s people like us who are willing to be used by the Holy Spirit to love people just like you, Tam & Laura Anne, and JUST LIKE HER.

  42. Katie Ristow permalink
    March 19, 2010 9:41 am

    Oh Tammy, I’m so thankful that God heals wounds so thoroughly. People say the most terrible things sometimes; and often just to get a rise out of us. I don’t know if Stephanie was doing this, or if she spoke from a place of real hurt and anger, but how beautiful that everyone offered this woman love, love, love. What the enemy purposed for evil, God redeemed for love. So beautiful. So awesome.

    People have said some pretty terrible things to me lately, in reference to my mom’s cancer. My mom is dying. There’s nothing medicine can do for her. But we put our hope in Christ. Where else can we go? I have a twelve year old sister who has heard more than her fair share of “cancer dying stories” that were meant to encourage (I think), but instead only told her that her mom was going to die. Just last week, a woman posted the story of her mom’s death on my dad’s face book (again to encourage, I think), but it was all about her own loss. I think sometimes people hurt so deeply and so completely, that they seek out comfort any way they can find it- even if that means shouting their pain at someone who cannot help them bear the burden. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind hearing people’s stories, but I am 28. My sisters are children. Children who wonder if mom will still be there when they wake up. And so I pray that God will close their ears to what they hear.
    And I make little notes in my own heart about what encouragement really looks like. So that I do not hurt others. So that I do not tear apart people’s hope in an attempt to help.
    That’s just apart of God’s redemption. He can redeem anything. And He does. He redeemed your past and turned it into a thing of beauty. You know what I’m saying in that, don’t you? Your heart for girls and women is beautiful. Your love for them is beautiful. It’s an extension of the Father’s heart, and that is where the beauty is.
    Thank you, Jesus, for redemption.

  43. santanna permalink
    April 19, 2010 2:22 pm

    i had my first and only abortion when i was 15 and now regrate it but thats me i guess. i was 11 weeks along as well

  44. jen permalink
    July 12, 2010 10:54 am

    as someone who has recently just gone through a miscarriage i can see why there is anger in stephanies post, i didnt choose to loose my baby, in fact i would give everything i had, gone through what ever pain it took for it not to happen. i had no choice in what happened and for what ever reason it did happen it does not make the pain go away.

    For someone who had the choice, to choose to have an abortion, to end the pregnancy then to write about it like they are the ones suffering is like a kick in the teeth. At the end of the day you chose to end it for what ever reason, i just wish i and so many others like me who have gone through and are going through the agony and heartbreak of a miscarriage had the luxuary of that choice.

    • July 12, 2010 3:25 pm

      i receive that. but clearly stephanie didnt read the post closely or the rest in this series. she didnt care to note that i was indeed, and am still, remorseful to this day. i do not advocate abortion. not one bit.

      but i dont expect those who are not regular readers here to know that.

      im sorry for your heartbreak. i know so many who have suffered miscarriages. many of my friends and me, myself. it is truly a treacherous road to have to travel.

      but please…do not make the assumption that those of us who have had abortions still dont suffer in some way. yes, i made the choice. twice. at the time, i convinced myself i didnt care. but as years passed the weight of those barbaric decisions began effecting me and others in ways i never saw coming.

      you may say, good, thats what you deserve. and i dont disagree with you.

      i rest today knowing the two babies i chose to shortchange are in the hands of God. safe. and for the rest of my time here…i will live forever with the memory of what i did. and i will also live the rest of my days helping women through the grief, they will ultimately sink in, after having abortions.

    • July 12, 2010 3:26 pm

      im sorry. i was logged in as my son for the above comment.

  45. jen permalink
    July 12, 2010 4:08 pm

    no one deserves that one, its a pain that i wouldnt wish upon anyone

    i am just so angry that this decision was made for me, why would god give me a gift so precious just to take it away from me. i seen the heart beat of my baby at 6 weeks and for me it was an instant bond of love, a feeling so intense i cannot even begin to describe, which is why i get so angry with people who are for abortion. its a life, a tiny life that was created, its nothing short of a miracle. but that is my opinion and mines alone i have no right to judge others but i feel angry at those who have had the choice i wanted mine why did he choose mine instead of one that was unwanted?

    abortion is always going to be a sensitive subject, before this happnened i honestly wouldnt have gave it a second thought, i was not a religious person and i always believed that every woman has the right to chose but now im not so sure…

    • July 14, 2010 8:40 am

      i hate that there are so many things in life that are out of our control. most dont make sense. that is true.

      miscarriage being on the top of the list.

      your above comment, tho, made me think of a family that is well known on line for this last year. their 5 yr old was struck by a rare and aggressive cancer. brain cancer. to read their journey…well, its amazing. nothing short of amazing. they didnt choose this. they wouldnt choose this. no one chooses to lose a child or to see the one theyve already been blessed with stricken with a deadly disease. but they have found that healing is as much in the mind and the heart as it is in anything else.

      actually…just read their last caring bridge update for a taste of some amazing perspective. in my opinion…if anyone has more right to be angry, it is this family. to have been given the child only to face losing it afterwards…i cant imagine how greater that pain is. yet…they consider themselves blessed…

  46. Nan permalink
    September 25, 2010 6:14 am

    Ive had two abortions and they were the best decisions I could have made regarding the unwanted pregnancies. I understand that abortion may not be the best option for everyone. But please keep in mind that they are the best decision for many woman.

  47. October 4, 2010 10:21 am

    You can see its fingers backbone and hands ! You can call this a murder no problem. Its was meant to be someone but you killed it. Im Sorry.

  48. Dusty Sanderson permalink
    October 10, 2010 6:43 pm

    I am pro choice. I think sometimes an abortion is the only way or the best way for both parties. Abortion is a big choice but it is made everyday by those who need it. Looking at it, it does not have nerves yet, they were just forming structures in the baby so nerve endings did not get made yet so the child did not feel anything or know anything that had happened before death. When the birth of the child brings nothing but pain and misery from the child, can you really justify their painful life by the inability to stop it before it began? There should be a cut off date, yes, when the nerves form so the child feels nothing, but abortions are sometimes the better alternative to a painful existence.

  49. shahzad permalink
    November 22, 2010 11:38 am

    sorry to say this but of course it would look like this when aborting the very poor baby after ELEVEN weeks it’s just not right…you must have done it a bit earlier…but it’s really sad that some people actually are very careless in having unprotected sex…i have personally seen a lot of abortions of my friends but none of them were like this because i always brougth them on time to the hospital the baby was like maximum 3-4 weeks…i BEG you all PLEASE be careful while having sex i know it’s something that people especially youngsters cannot control but think about this picture before having unprotected sex…i personally and honestly beg you all for this…the world is heading nowhere anyway so try to be a bit more carefull in such failures…because it is something that each person “can” control….

    • December 1, 2010 8:21 pm

      no. i aborted one at 11 weeks and one at 13. neither of which im proud of.

      your comment confuses me. you brought your friends to the hospital on time for abortions? yet you beg people to be careful?

      you seem against “unwanted” pregnancies yet you aid in helping friends get abortions?

      im confused.

      • shahzad permalink
        December 14, 2010 11:20 am

        that’s what i mean you should’ve done it earlier because the earlier you do it the better it is and the later the painful it’s going to be…

        i brought my friends on time because their boyfriends just got laid with them and then left them pregnant and i was always there for them…i had to bring them for abortions because ,first of all, they were young (let’s say from 16-20) and especially who were the upcoming babies’ fathers?or were they just bunch of “players”?of course there are REALLY HARD decisions to make before NOT aborting your child like ,forget about their fathers, can you afford all the expenses?school etc?i think there are more than a lot of responsibilities…another reason why i had to bring them on time was because of their own parents, imagine their parents finding out that their young innocent daughters are pregnant, how would their parents feel inside?i think excruciating… honestly even i had to sometimes cry how naive some of the girls are when they don’t even spend a moment to think about their future but just close their eyes and get laid…

        all i am saying that let’s be careful in such things because ,if it’s not early, then it’s same as “killing” someone…

        i am personally strictly against having sex “before” marriage i know it’s one of very special and important needs but marriage makes it kind of safe and it gives women the safe feeling that men “truly” are in love with them…BUT most of us cannot hold it until marriage so then let’s be VERY and STRICTLY careful about unprotected sex and let’s also not forget about all the deadly diseases which can also be caused by unprotected sex as well as pregnancy…

        i have to be against men here because they are just awkward kind of people they do whatever it takes them to just get laid with any woman i mean come on guys you are messing with her innocent life…but anyway if most of men are so addicted to sex and ONLY sex then girls what’s wrong with you?cant you use your brain and be a bit aware of ” most of men would do ANYTHING to get laid”…anyway it was really strong statement against men but i am sorry truth is truth…

        p.s. i apologize for such a late reply

        • lynne permalink
          March 20, 2012 5:43 pm

          what a load of bollocks

  50. Suin' forwoman permalink
    February 2, 2012 6:20 pm

    OMG! This is horrible! I am physically SICK. How Komen can deny funding for birth control (Planned Parenthood) is beyond me! With all the CASH they get? As of today, I will NEVER, I mean NEVER donate to the cancer research AGAIN!

  51. Melissa permalink
    May 20, 2013 10:47 am

    I have all the compassion in the world for you, and I agree that doctors and nurses could do more to inform the patients of their choices, but you cannot blame the doctors and nurses. When it comes down to it, the woman and man who had sex made the mistake and the woman made the choice to abort. I am not making judgements because I am by no means a perfect person either. If anything, why not blame the parents/guardians of the man and woman who had sex? Although parents cannot control their children when they grow up, they could have done more to teach their children about safe sex, abstinence, pregnancy, abortion etc. The doctors and nurses are not your parents. They offer procedures that the society has agreed is legal.

  52. May 24, 2013 2:10 am

    Spot on with this write-up, I really believe that this website needs
    much more attention. I’ll probably be back again to read through more, thanks for the advice!

  53. Heather permalink
    May 31, 2013 5:36 pm

    People that are for abortion don’t want to know that it IS a baby that they are aborting. I am currently 11 weeks pregnant and that picture makes me physically sick. Prevention of pregnancy is the way to go, not ending life. Adoption is a great option for people that don’t want the baby; yes, you do have to go through the pregnancy but that is better than going through the rest of your life with regret. My friend aborted her baby when she was 16 and she would see children playing and say to herself “my child would be that old now”. So sad.

  54. Michelle permalink
    July 10, 2013 8:52 pm

    I had an abortion at the age of 16 as well. I was 20 wks. It was with my one and only FWB and as soon as I told him he ran. I felt like it was the only thing I could do, The babies father ran and told me to get it done… so did my mom and at the time before I actually knew i was pregnant I had just gotten into a serious relationship with my current boyfriend and he didn’t know (I waited a few months to see if I really was or something was just out of wack with my period,) I was scared and alone. THe doctors never actually talked to me about keeping it. I wanted to keep it although I felt so much pressure from everyone around me I thought I had no other choice. A year has gone by and I still feel the guilt. There are some night when I cry myself to sleep and days when I cant go out because when I see a child it brings tears to my eyes. Recently I had talked to the babys “father” and he said he would’ve been in the life, that he kinda wanted it, and that he would have came around if I would’ve kept it. I have tried everything I don’t have peace of mind and I don’t think I ever will.I want to have a baby now because I feel something is missing from me but im only seventeen and I remember I am a mother still but my baby is in heaven, my angel. Looking back I should’ve done what I thought was right , not what they thought. I can still picture me with the baby. That is one thing they don’t tell you when you have an abortion, the pain and emotional distress it can cause on your life and your future. I am never going to have that closer I need. If someone reads this listen to your heart before you have an abortion don’t let others opinions choose your future.

  55. Amanda permalink
    August 12, 2013 8:41 am

    All of you pro life people are so disgusting I’m on google trying to see what my baby growing inside me looks like and I keep seeing these disgusting photos worry about saving yourself and your own salvation and shut up mind your business not everyone wants an abortion frankly the more you guys put up photos and posters the more people think about it

  56. November 27, 2013 5:30 pm

    It is a very handy little bit of data. Now i am pleased for you to discussed this useful data here. You should stop us educated like that. Many thanks giving.

  57. September 2, 2015 12:56 pm

    currently stuck on keeping my baby and terminating…… at 10 weeks, i can feel my self elated, and overjoyed, to see my first sonogram next week, but then i am faced with the fact that, i am not financially stable.
    i cant get rid of my baby. im already so in love. seeing this made me love him ( or her ) even harder. because i cant imagine letting him go…. however if i were 16…. i probably wouldn’t feel the same. i would have probably took the same steps you have..
    ive never felt so alone… but yet so happy…
    THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THIS. because you saved my babies life.


  1. My Abortion Story: from a Former Pro-choicer « Living a Good Life
  2. My Story: from a Former Pro-choicer | The Mom with Moxie

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