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it was bound to happen…

March 2, 2010

my first real hate message. not that i havent received a negative comment, email or DM. i have received plenty of those. and thats ok. if everybody loved what i said all the time then something would be wrong with what im doing here.

but this negative message was different. it was a peek into the past. the past that is so long gone, but yet so crucial to what i am doing today in my life.

writing a book about your life isnt an easy task. its extremely important that the facts are remembered correctly so that they remain factual. in order to do that, sometimes, you must go back into the past.

fortunately, for me, im fine with doing that. mostly. if im being honest id rather not have to go there. i feel like such a fish out of water when entertaining thoughts and memories from my former life. im so different now that i find it hard to relate to the old tam. im sure that makes sense to some of you.

i was told in this message that my story is a dime a dozen, something about the stupidity of my parents and a couple other angry things…message has been deleted.

but the dime a dozen comment was the only thing that really stuck with me. this ‘friend’ from the past brought up something i have struggled with since i began this book. i think shes right. to a point.

i do not wanta tell my story for the sake of telling my story. i loathe comparison writings. what i mean is…

have you read so and so? her book is riveting.

yah, but have you read this girls? whoa!

our stories arent competition. and thats something i want to avoid at all costs.

my book isnt just about a story…its about an effect. an effect that is never talked about.

if youve had an abortion, or have known someone who has, did you (they) think at that moment while their legs were in stirrups that they might someday have a child of their own? possibly a daughter that they would have to look into the eye of to tell them…it couldve been you.

the consequences of our choices are so far reaching and they will effect our future. theres no way around that. however, most people dont think about that fact at the moment. i certainly didnt. and ive met countless men and women since that can also relate all too well.

my job in this book, my goal, is to confront that issue. im hoping i can communicate in a way that will bring clarity, understanding and freedom…self-permission, to reconcile ourselves to our pasts so that we can confront our present and prepare for our future.

not rocket science. perhaps still a dime a dozen.

but not worthless. not pointless.

and like my amazingly supportive husband said to me…this is a good lesson in what to expect some day. there will be those who throw stones at me for this. its inevitable. but my significance and worth and ability is not dependent on them.

and so i move on….

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95 Comments leave one →
  1. March 2, 2010 12:27 pm

    your story is so worth telling. and you are so very brave, strong, and confident for telling it.

    i’m sorry for the hate mail you received. it speaks of their heart, not yours. but it’s still hurtful to hear words that sting. and i hate that for you.

    i love you, tamster.

    • March 2, 2010 1:35 pm

      to be honest…it did hurt. the initial sting of it was selfish for a few moments. then, i hurt mostly for them. at this stage in life, when all you can do is throw hateful words around, theres a lot goin on inside. some, possibly, untapped emotions, regrets…something. and thats what made me saddest the most.

      youve always been encouraging to me alece. i treasure that. thank you. i love you too.

  2. March 2, 2010 12:28 pm

    If there are some who choose to throw stones at you for your vulnerability and honesty, then you will have plenty of friends (even those who have never met you personally – like me) who will be standing by your side, ready to deflect or even take some of the hits ourselves. You go, girl.

    • March 2, 2010 1:37 pm

      i totally feel that, kristi! and it means a lot to me.

      i know i have a huge support system here and in the community where i live. i couldnt do this without you guys. i wouldnt want to, quite honestly πŸ™‚

  3. March 2, 2010 12:29 pm

    Spot on. Our worth is found or should be found in someone else. Good reminder Tam, thanks.

  4. March 2, 2010 12:34 pm

    Tam, you’re awesome, I love you, and I pray the truth of God’s protection and inspiration over you. Thank you for inspiring me and being who you are. Whole and healed in Christ!

    • March 2, 2010 1:38 pm

      that was like a balm for my heart, leann. thank you.

      wow.

  5. Heidi permalink
    March 2, 2010 12:35 pm

    Someone that I highly respect, whom does ministry stated: when someone risks, they are going to hit opposition and sometimes the more opposition you face it’s more of God. Meaning the more you risk, the more God rewards you by standing in the midst and holds you up.

    Your story is powerful, but one that can be over reacted with, judgemental, and over zealous.

    Keep writing God is in the midst and holding you up…

    Revitalize~Promise~Peace

    Love you!

    • March 2, 2010 1:39 pm

      “Revitalize~Promise~Peace”

      you will never know how much those words truly mean to me, sis.

      ever.

      love you so.

  6. March 2, 2010 12:35 pm

    Way to turn an ugly incident into a beautiful lesson. You just keep doing what He has clearly equipped you to do!

    First time visiter to your blog…love it! God’s blessings on your day!

    • March 2, 2010 1:40 pm

      “You just keep doing what He has clearly equipped you to do!”

      thank you for that, kristen! that is great encouragement right now.

      and welcome to our home, here πŸ˜‰

  7. March 2, 2010 12:38 pm

    I love and appreciate you Tam! I think of all the people who must and of those who benefit from what you write and I am reminded, “He that is in you is greater than he that is in the world.”

    Press On. Rock On. Carry On. Peace.

    • March 2, 2010 1:41 pm

      that is such a great verse right now! perfectly timed, chase!

      thanks for cheering me on too.

  8. March 2, 2010 12:38 pm

    Their words show their own insecurity. It shows that they feel their life is a dime a dozen, and they don’t want to feel like they are there alone, so they tried to bring you with them.

    This is your story, which makes it valuable. And if your truth causes even one person to look at their own truth, than it is worth writing.

    I’m so proud of you.

    • March 2, 2010 1:42 pm

      how can i cute fluffy dog be so full of wisdom?? πŸ˜‰

      your first paragraph…i bet youre right.

  9. March 2, 2010 12:51 pm

    Great response to criticism..when we are doing something amazing with our testimony, anything that might help change someone else’s story for the better, the enemy gets busy! The arrows start flying. It says it in God’s Word, right?

    Have you read Leading and Loving It yet today? You are my girl! : )

    • March 2, 2010 1:44 pm

      funny thing here. i tell people this, what you just said here, all the time. how could i have forgotten that when we are doing something that IS worthy and has the potential to bring healing, revelation and restoration we will be attacked?

      so true.

      makes it even more worth it cuz it confirms to me that im going in the right direction.

      im gonna read LALI in a moment πŸ˜‰

  10. catie permalink
    March 2, 2010 12:58 pm

    In the short moment that I have known you, your story has already so deeply touched me. What you are telling and the way that you are telling it is bound to touch more than just this one girl.

    One person changed is a success, one person bothered will too breed success.

    • March 2, 2010 1:46 pm

      “One person changed is a success, one person bothered will too breed success”

      i think brilliance runs in your family.

      thank you, catie!

      • catie permalink
        March 2, 2010 2:34 pm

        nah – doesn’t run in the family. . .I just taught c3 everything she knows.

        • March 3, 2010 1:03 pm

          it’s true.
          C2 is my hero.

          and, my tamminator…you know my heart went into attack mode initially, but I’m so glad I can be here to hold you and let you know you’re story is valid, strong and worth telling.
          I have found beauty in who you are b/c of who you were – you are treasured and cherished.

          Oh yeah, and I love that catie-lady too πŸ™‚ sisters do that to each other, i suppose.

  11. March 2, 2010 1:29 pm

    I can’t believe it was an “old friend” that sent you that…… because a real friend would know it is not true of you. At all.

    A dime a dozen can be seen as nothing new, nothing important…. or it can be seen as the many many women who have walked this hurtful road who need the support you are offering, who need to hear what you have to say.

    Keep saying it. Love you.

    • March 2, 2010 1:48 pm

      well, clearly not friends any longer 😯

      its a long story actually…and somehow, this week, it became about her. very odd. but done with.

      and i will keep going. i promise. in fact…im pumped more now that ever!!

  12. March 2, 2010 1:39 pm

    There are days when I’m in a 12 step meeting & feel like there wasn’t a thing I can take out of that room & use. There are days when I don’t feel I have anything to offer. That’s when God kicks me in the butt & reminds me that it isn’t about me. Not really. I have my story, but it’s about the choices I make now. Today. To listen & learn. Or to put my fingers in my ears & go “lalalalalalalalala”. Funny thing is, that when God speaks I cannot “lalalala” loud enough to drown Him out!

    My story is unique, but it is also part of a bigger picture. Sometimes I think of “Onward Christian Soldiers, marching…..” If I can reach just one person & say something that will help them make it through the next hour, the next 24 hours, then I will continue to march. It’s all about 1 person helping another. I am never alone. Never. That’s what I try to get across to people. That’s what you are trying to do. Help another woman heal. We are all broken when we come before God. And He has amazing super-glue. We help put each other back together. No matter what we have been through. Abortions. Affairs. Drugs. Alcohol.

    You have something to say. Say it. With your heart. With your prayers. With your words on paper. It is healing for you, me, and anyone else who’s life has been a disaster at some point. Stay strong, Tam.

    • March 2, 2010 1:50 pm

      yah…i totally relate with what youre saying. brent told me last night not to second guess myself. i cant go there. i have to stay focused to the path and journey.

      i love that your story also is helping others!

      thank you for inspiring.

  13. March 2, 2010 1:48 pm

    “this is a good lesson in what to expect some day. there will be those who throw stones at me for this. its inevitable. but my significance and worth and ability is not dependent on them.”

    Those are very, very wise words from your husband.

    I’ve experienced that many times for things I’ve put out there. There are still people from where I used to live that are posting hateful messages on their blogs about me and I’ve been gone for nine months. My sin was being openly Christian and honest.

    The world HATES us. Jesus told us that. We have to expect that we’re going to come across people, groups or messages that remind us of that hate.

    • March 2, 2010 1:54 pm

      exactly…thing is…i really dont believe its at all personal either. it goes way deeper than a few silly words…and they have nothing to do with me.

      im sure this wont be the last time i get a hateful message like that.

      brent also told me i need to grow thicker skin. not guarded. i need to know what to flick off. im learning.

      none of us are above a good shake up to teach us a lesson either πŸ˜‰

  14. Stacey permalink
    March 2, 2010 2:56 pm

    Having been a “past” and current friend of Tam….all I can say is:

    “walk a mile in my/her shoes, and if you cannot…use your personal mouth duct tape…”

    • March 2, 2010 3:00 pm

      stacey…id love to see you again!

      • Stacey permalink
        March 2, 2010 3:07 pm

        I am walking/running as fast as I can! I will be closer..REALLY geographically closer by Autumn! YES! If you recall what I was fighting? Well,I won…and am going to be in Northern CA. come sometime August! So…we WILL see one another..sooner than you think..I look forward to it!

  15. March 2, 2010 3:01 pm

    sorry that you received such a thing….

    as the great theologian/rapper jay-z said “get that dirt of your shoulder”.

    you share life giving words here. you share hope. you share encouragement…

    keep on writing that book. your story is a story worth telling.

    • March 2, 2010 3:03 pm

      patricia – you are always so positive. well, you do get a little crazy during basketball season – but whatev πŸ˜‰ , anyways…thank you. thank you so much!

      • March 2, 2010 3:11 pm

        btw…just wanted to share this: Revelations 12:11 – we overcome the enemy by the Blood of Jesus and the word of OUR testimony.

        im very passionate about this topic because i’ve received a few “hate messages” as well about me writing so much personal stuff on my blog…especially from relatives….but i know my story is powerful. i know my story will bring others into the loving arms of God and that’s why i continue to share it.

        Keep preaching your story. it’s a powerful tool to use to overcome the enemy coz our story shows the world that God is able to heal, restore and redeem any situation. a great reminder for you and for the rest of us.

  16. March 2, 2010 3:27 pm

    I’ll probably be saying stuff you’ve heard a million times before… but I’m quite sure Satan does not want you to write this book. It is his goal to keep women (and men) bound up in their guilt and shame and self-hate, so that they remain unproductive and/or seperated from God and their potential for the Kingdom. Your book (from what I can gather after only finding you recently) will be showing people a way out of the darkness into peace,love, acceptance, and, most importantly, forgiveness. From God and for themselves

    The opposition will be tough, and it may just get worse. But you’ve won this first battle with such grace! God and heaven (and a bunch of us mere mortals) are cheering you on. Stay true to your calling. πŸ™‚

    • March 2, 2010 5:30 pm

      tears. a whole lotta bunch of’em!

      just…wow.

  17. March 2, 2010 3:32 pm

    Everyone gets their own sphere of influence from God. No story is a dime a dozen. Each shared story is unique in that it will impact those who hear it in that sphere. There are those whom God has specifically purposed to hear from YOU. Relish that appointment–which I know you do.

    • March 2, 2010 5:31 pm

      that is a good word, joni. such a great point and truth. i needed to hear that.

    • Stacey permalink
      March 2, 2010 9:44 pm

      Thank you for saying this, Joni….even I needed to hear that..and have read and re-read these God given words, through you-they make me feel SO empowered each time I read, God bless you and yours!

  18. March 2, 2010 3:37 pm

    Are any of us a dime a dozen?

    I thought we were all intricately woven and our days written in His book to be able to testify of His goodness through us.

    Our stories are as individual as we are, and the lessons we learn, as unique.

    Write on, TammyJo!

    • March 2, 2010 5:32 pm

      amen!

      and im blazin now, red…theres no stoppin.

  19. March 2, 2010 3:41 pm

    God takes our bad and makes it good…you will not know on this earth who changed thier mind, or had the courage to step up as well just from reading your story…and the way God’s plan is being fulfilled through them…with Jesus there is no not ever “a dime a dozen” redemption story..all of it is YES GLORY TO GOD! the Lord knows i get hate mail, hate phone calls, and people who will not even look in my direction..hurt then and sometimes it still hurts..but you know, that is always when HE reminds me, the world hated HIM first..

    oh dang! i could seriously get some church on up in here! 😯 and like you said..now we move on..we don’t stop, we push harder…the enemy must be gettin scared of the story and the power that comes from it..good! the power of Christ in every story is a power for him to reckon with..

    • March 2, 2010 5:32 pm

      should we take an offering now?

      πŸ˜‰

      love you!

      thank you, sis…a million!

  20. March 2, 2010 3:51 pm

    Lovely response. Thank you for opening your heart to us.

  21. March 2, 2010 3:58 pm

    i think there’s a movement afoot to stomp-out all redemptive stories. its been a movement all through history. “dime a dozen” is just one of many lines used. in my case, the line i hear most often is “stop living in the past!” {heavy sigh}

    “dime a dozen” HA! your story is priceless and unique. although truthfully, i’ll be looking for a better deal than “priceless” when I order your book…

    • March 2, 2010 5:34 pm

      ric – the obstacles, im finding, are becoming a big part of the story. i guess the ‘movement’ either inspires or deters.

      lets not ever choose the latter, k?

      thank you, friend!

  22. March 2, 2010 5:39 pm

    shauna – YOU are the reason i will keep writing! your words define why i write. your story is why i will not back down.

    God bless you!

    please tell me how you are doing. if youd like you can email me as well.

    • Shauna permalink
      March 2, 2010 5:50 pm

      Tam,

      I was going to ask if you wouldn’t mind deleting the post after you read it. I would appreciate it. I’m not ready, as you are, to share my story. I wanted to e-mail you what I had written in the post to hopefully encourage you, yet couldn’t find your e-mail on here. And I didn’t want you to think that your efforts and struggles weren’t worth it.

      And to answer your question, I am doing well thank you. I’ve chosen to learn from the past and move on, some days are a struggle but… it’s worth it.

      Be blessed as you write. Looking forward to reading it once it’s completed.
      Once again,
      Thank you for your words!

    • March 2, 2010 5:53 pm

      wow! just prayin for you to have a glimpse of what God is doing through you..awesome…Happy Dance..

  23. March 2, 2010 5:55 pm

    I’ll be first in line for the book. I think your story in and of itself is amazing, but the perspective you’re taking in it awesome!

    Every time I delve into my past for something that’s hurtful, I always have to tell myself that even if God only intends for it to touch one person, then it’s worth everything I have to struggle back through on the way to get that memory.

    I can’t wait to see what God has in store through you and your book!

    • March 2, 2010 6:04 pm

      and i have to remind myself that who am i that i shouldnt have to endure such things. silly of me really.

      im learning and growing as i go.

      i know for certain that God is doing something here. we’ve just gotta keep moving in the right direction. i know thats at least all our plans πŸ™‚

      thank you, jeremy!

  24. March 2, 2010 5:57 pm

    “Listen up, I got a question here
    Would anybody miss you if you disappeared?
    Well your life is the song that you sing
    And the whole wide world is listening
    Well the answer to the question is
    You were created, your life is a gift and
    The lights are shining on you today, ’cause…

    You got something to say”

    the immortal words of Matthew West.

    seriously. every one of the preceding comments are right on. you have been thru something for a reason and now its time for you to use it for someone elses good and Gods glory. gotta turn off the SBS. (satans broadcast system)
    mwah. mapam

    • March 2, 2010 6:05 pm

      SBS? love it… with emphasis on the BS, perhaps?

      ok. that was bad 😳

      thank you for your kind words. and thank matthew too πŸ˜‰

  25. March 2, 2010 6:05 pm

    Grrrrr! I know the point of your post wasn’t to get us all riled up on your behalf, but still. I can’t help it. Thinking about someone being so hurtful to you makes me growl a little bit! You have an incredible story and a beautiful heart – and I am so thankful that you are telling your story.

    • March 2, 2010 11:02 pm

      dont let it get at you…its not worth it. and i m so glad you know me well enough to know i truly wasnt trying to get a rally going. that wasnt the point at all. the post was more for my own good and a way to work out my thoughts, therapeutic i guess.

      i definitely did not foresee this kind of response. at all. but it sure does do a heart good.

      thanks for being a part of it, mary.

      now…come to oregon and visit me!

  26. Lindsey Nobles permalink
    March 2, 2010 6:08 pm

    I’m in your corner cheering you on. And I’ve got some mad bullying skills if you need me to rough up some naysayers. Kidding…kinda.

    Love that you are telling your story. Memoirs move me more than any other genre. Don’t tell me how to do it. Tell me how you did it.

    • March 2, 2010 6:12 pm

      i heard you had some mad pinching skills πŸ˜‰

      “Don’t tell me how to do it. Tell me how you did it”

      love that!!

  27. March 2, 2010 6:10 pm

    Tam- thank you for your courage to share your story! As we seek to honor God and share ours, you inspire us and give us courage to move forward! Thank you so much!

    • March 2, 2010 6:12 pm

      wow. these words coming from you…just…wow. seriously. talk about pillars of inspiration and courage – you two are and so many are the better for it.

      thank YOU!

  28. March 2, 2010 6:12 pm

    You’ve gotten amazing encouragement and advice from everyone — well, except those who aren’t able to deal with you. Sometimes, it’s those who say things like this who are dealing with the problem or issue themselves. Sometimes, those of us who judge the quickest are the ones with the very problem we’re judging in others.

    You’re right, keep focused on the path God has given you. Obviously, your book is going to do amazing things for people, otherwise the enemy wouldn’t be pulling out the stops to hold it back.

    I know you’ve been hurt by this “friend” and really, you probably want to land a swift kick. But that person needs your love and forgiveness. I mean, really NEEDS it. God knows where this attack came from and you can be a brilliant example of His love and grace.

    I’m one of those who doesn’t know you well, but I relate and watch from afar. You shine. I see it.

    • March 2, 2010 6:18 pm

      i am so overwhelmed by all the positive words here today. i truly didnt expect this. i just thought it was fair to follow up on the random tweet about this the other night.

      but i am so grateful. this has refueled my heart, my spirit.

      and i must say, in re: to the negative commenter, ive no ill feelings towards her at all, surprisingly. i totally agree with what you said about them likely dealing with something of their own. and im a good target. right place/right time. or wrong place/wrong time πŸ˜• and yes, i have been praying for her…and all who are involved.

      thank you for your wise words here!

  29. March 2, 2010 6:14 pm

    I’m gonna come back and read the rest of the comments later. I just wanna say – I just came over from Alece’s blog and read this: β€œThey overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony.”

    And now I’m here.

    I just wanna say that I am proud of you for sharing your story – and for the REASON you’re sharing it. You have a community of people who love you and who are rooting for you. Including me.

    Be blessed, my sister! Keep on being who God has made you; in fact, I have a movie quote for u: “Put aside the ranger – become who you were born to be!” (I think it was Elrond, ruler over the elves, speaking to Aragorn, future King of Gondor) I think that’s my encouragement! Keep becoming who God made you to be πŸ™‚

    • March 2, 2010 6:23 pm

      aww, i love your encouragement bajan!! πŸ™‚

      youve always been a big encourager to me. and i hold on to that tightly. i so appreciate it!

  30. March 2, 2010 7:03 pm

    You know, there are dime a dozen books. There are dime a dozen songs. But there is only one Tam, and only one story that she can write. There are very few who can write about / speak about abortion with the transparency that you have done thus far. And there are apparently a few who are so touched by the honesty that it hurts them to much to see it for what it really is; the heart of a mother, and the heart of God.

    I think there are a lot of people who can be effected by your story. Men and women alike. Your story CAN and HAS effected change. My bridge is still under construction, but I build every day. And now, building is done with a new focus and a new resolve!

    Be encouraged. Be true to who you are. You have a message of hope and healing that is too important to hide.

    You are loved.

    • March 2, 2010 11:08 pm

      lori, i love seeing your face, first of all. i miss you.

      i love the history you and i have too. you have taught me so much in this process. i hope you know that.

      im not gonna back down because of this person or anyone else. i think i said this last week here but i’ll say it again…people have as much power over us as we allow.

      the choice to action is in my court. your court. our own court. no matter what the naysayers do, right?

      thank you, lori!

  31. March 2, 2010 7:51 pm

    Tam, REALLY? I don’t have anything to add except to agree with all of the encouragement here… and I’d be happy to get my Swede on if I need to…. πŸ™‚

    Dime a dozen? Was each child that was aborted a dime a dozen? Each scared, confused, convinced-they-are-alone-and-not-loved-Mom a dime a dozen??? Wow. Seriously, look at how many men and women have been ministered to already and you haven’t even written it all down yet…. pshhhhht….

    You keep doin’ what you do best… loving people, being real, and writing your story… and let the fiery dart fizzle… can’t wait for my signed copy!!!! πŸ™‚

    • March 2, 2010 11:10 pm

      cant wait to have coffee with you tomorrow. and am so glad that you are nowhere near this person.

      thats all im saying 😯

    • March 3, 2010 5:23 am

      You have a Swede to get on too!!! Isn’t it great to have it when we need it? Vikings are NOT to be taken lightly!!!

  32. March 2, 2010 9:09 pm

    i’m so sorry you got such a nasty comment! keep doing what you’re doing i love reading your writing its speaks truth and inspires. the book is going to be such a blessing to so many people! oh i can’t wait to see how God rocks it!

    love the girl & her pug that will be standing in line at B&N to get the first copy πŸ™‚

    • March 2, 2010 11:11 pm

      MEG!!!! youre here! oh, my heart just smiled huge!

      thank you so much girl!!

  33. March 2, 2010 10:03 pm

    “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirableβ€”if anything is excellent or praiseworthyβ€”think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in meβ€”put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.” Phil. 4:8-9

    Peace Tamalamadingdong… You are doing the right thing.

    • March 2, 2010 11:12 pm

      amen, amen and amen.

      i really need some amy time. badly.

      love you dear friend!

  34. March 2, 2010 10:39 pm

    YAY! HATE MAIL!!! you’re big time now!

    seriously…

    your story NEEDS to be written and shared. so what if it’s a dime a dozen… so much more the need. girls need resources today. they need to NOT feel alone. they need to know they HAVE other options.

    you are my hero. mostly because you have pretty hair.

    • March 2, 2010 11:13 pm

      you have lots of rings on your finger.

      and…you mean so much to me. but dont let that get out.

  35. March 2, 2010 10:43 pm

    Behind every story like yours, there is a real person; and your story will always be different to the others, because it happened to you.

    No one else can tell your story, because each story is unique, and carries its own pains and healings. Every word written of it is a message to someone else, even if only one other person, who might say “She’s the only one who understands, maybe I should listen.”

    NO-ONE has the same story, because our story is who we are, not what happened to us. It might happen a million times, but that will never make it dime-a-dozen, that’s like saying your children are a dime-a-dozen because almost everyone has one.

    (Sorry. Rant over.)

    • March 2, 2010 11:15 pm

      “that’s like saying your children are a dime-a-dozen because almost everyone has one.”

      i love this. seriously. i love the simplicity of your point.

      youre so right on.

      i am truly so blown away by the support and wisdom shared here today.

      what a beautiful community. so glad youre here.

      thank you!

  36. March 2, 2010 11:02 pm

    We all have a past. Mine isn’t pretty either. A wise man once told me that it’s not how you start that matters, but how you finish. So sorry about your hate mail.

    • March 2, 2010 11:17 pm

      thank you, todd.

      “its how you finish”

      ive never been more pumped than now to finish, either. i love the good that is coming out of this. even if it did sting for a fraction of a second. considering the source and seeing it as textbook response to something deeper within their own self…well, its freeing.

      we need to take responsibility for our own actions. and for me…this is a call to action to keep on keeping on….

  37. TheNorEaster permalink
    March 3, 2010 12:26 am

    “Dime a dozen”? Well, Storm Stories were free and people are still reading them so the contributors must have done something right. But I’ll bet 12,0000 stories that woman has a tale of her own to tell; she probably just does not believe it is significant-which, if that is the case, probably means she does not believe herself significant. And that is simply not the case; Jesus proved her worth when He gave His life for her at The Cross.

    “…stupid mistakes parents make”? Heck, Bill Cosby can tell you all about that. Because “fathers always say the same thing, ‘Where is your mother?'” And then the classic, “And then my wife comes downstairs and she starts talking to herself! ‘Think I carried you inside my body for nine months so you could roll your eyes at me…!'”

    And Ric: Don’t let the “living in the past” dismissal discourage you. If all we ever did was “live in the moment”, we would have no sense of causality, since memories form the foundation of our reason. That’s why The Joker has no idea where he “got those scars”. Without a past, we would be as crazy as that homicidal maniac. You have a past; it’s yours. Not mine. Not anyone else’s. Because of that, you owe no one an explanation for your self-examination. And demons are not defeated with ignorance, but with acknowledgement and resistance.

    (And I reallyt miss real keyboards; dang blackberry!)

    • March 3, 2010 9:15 am

      first…i love your words for the negative commenter. thank you for that. this whole thread of comments really has been gracious. i didnt expect anything less – but it just reminds me how fabulous this community is!

      and you typed this comment on a blackberry?!?!! you are stellar, my friend!

  38. March 3, 2010 2:03 am

    Haven’t read your book but I too know people who have written books about their lives. Each with different stories. One main reason to write it out with pen and paper is to help themselves process the ‘stuff’ in their own lives. Bringing more healing for themselves. Certainly not for public entertainment. Of course in the process of self healing these books have helped countless others as well. Sounds like your book has struck a cord with this critic who is struggling personnaly. Remember the desciples welcomed this criticism, it meant the message was getting through.

    • March 3, 2010 9:12 am

      i love your comment. thank you, mike.

      youre correct, much of the writing-in the beginning-helped me deal greatly with the healing process. now, that the idea of the book has evolved (it is not yet complete) it has switched to not just a story telling read – but a practical “this is what happens-this is what ive found-this is what i had to do-this is the result of it all”. i dont know how well my procedure to healing will work for others…but i know for me it had a 100% success rate πŸ˜‰ hoping it continues to help others as well.

      “Remember the desciples welcomed this criticism, it meant the message was getting through”

      right on!

  39. March 3, 2010 8:42 am

    I know… shocker that I’m a day or two behind on my response! I’ll be honest in saying that I have NOT wanted to share our story for several reasons but in the end the Lord brought me to Mathew 25 “The Parable of the Talents” Jesus has gently shown me that’s it not my story to share it is His so don’t bury it! Our stories are another extension of God’s grace and mercy that shines through us and brings hope to hearts that need His grace and mercy too!

    And lets be honest… could there every really be ANOTHER Tam? Just sayin! πŸ™‚

    • March 3, 2010 9:08 am

      for the safety and well being of mankind…lets hope not πŸ˜‰

      but youre right…it is our responsibility to share what we’ve learned in life. thats how we all grow…from each other, from experience. its just a part of life.

      and now youve got me humming ‘this liitle light’ in my head πŸ˜•

  40. Patricia Lane Moulard permalink
    March 3, 2010 9:05 am

    A dime a dozen, yes, unfortunately so. When I was in high school girls were setting up abortions like going to the grocery store. It was common to hear of someone who had gotten pregnant and needed to end it all, before their parents found out. But, God’s message to us all is ONE of a kind. It is not a dime a dozen. Our significance, value and worth is in the ONE person Jesus Christ, who says, “He who is without sin cast the first stone.” God is a God of forgiveness and HIS POWER is able to complete that which we have committed to HIM against that day. The days of trials and tribulations come. No weapons forged against us will ever prosper. We will know, that they are Christians by HIS LOVE. Was, this message pure , true , honest, and of a good report? Hmmm…consider this. Do you remember the movie, Lord of the Rings? On their journey into the underworld, they must find courage, faith and strength to come out alive. He cries out, “What say you?!” Do you remember the emotions that well up in you, as you are watching this character realize his noble calling by birth and who he was, after years of rejection. We, have that same noble calling by the KING OF KINGS and LORD OF LORDS. In writing this book, you are crying out,”What say you……..?!, to all those who are lost in the underworld of their shame, guilt and sin. Challenging them to lay their burdens at the foot of the cross and be set free by the ONE who reigns so mightily in you. For it is no longer you that lives, but Christ who lives within you. He died and took to His grave every hurt, insult or rather, the problem of sin you will ever face, so you can rest. Keep sharing the ONE message so they can rest too, Tam, and……………… STAY ALIVE!

    • March 3, 2010 9:19 am

      patty – seriously…this comment needs to be published somewhere. what amazingly written words you share here.

      talk about being motivated and given Truth!

      “In writing this book, you are crying out,”What say you……..?!, to all those who are lost in the underworld of their shame, guilt and sin. Challenging them to lay their burdens at the foot of the cross and be set free”

      this will stick with me forever!!

      wow. thank you!

  41. Shauna permalink
    March 3, 2010 2:26 pm

    As with the others, I’m sorry that you received such a response to the work that you’re doing. I’m writing this post in hopes that you’ll find encouragment in it; that your ministry, and diving into your past to write this book, is amazing.

    To make a long story short. I stumbled upon you on Twitter and eventually was led to your blog. I enjoyed reading your posts because they were real. And then, not too long ago, I thought I was pregnant. I knew the man that I was with didn’t want kids – ever. And when I told him, he looked hurt, and told me to “deal with it”. Those words destroyed me (and us), and I admit that I contemplated doing as he “suggested”. However, I kept returning to posts you had written and stories you had shared on here. Your words were encouragement to me even when no one was around, and when no one would back me in my decision. For that, I thank you.

    When our entire world is screaming at us to make this kind of decision, your words help to show it’s ok to make the right one. You never know who you are affecting, encouraging, and even saving, by the words that you write.

    I look forward to reading your book once it is completed.
    And once again, thank you.
    Be blessed.

  42. March 5, 2010 8:23 am

    Even if the story was a dime a dozen, there will always be at least one person who hasn’t read the other 11 stories. Someone whose life may be transformed by just a line or paragraph of YOUR story. It reminds me of that lil’ story about a kid walking with his grandpa along the beach and whenever the kid saw a starfish in the shore he would throw it in the sea so it could survive. Grandpa told him, you know there are millions dying in the shore all across the world, right, it doesn’t really matter? The kid grabbed another and threw it in and told grandpa: it mattered to that one.

    • March 5, 2010 8:30 am

      dang rand…that starfish story has me all bawling over here.

      but what a perfect example!

      thank you so much for that encouragement.

  43. March 30, 2010 12:07 pm

    Good for you for weathering that storm surge.

    And I think you’re totally right for you perspective and take and ambition and outlook. Absolutely right. So many people can tell you what not to do … so few can tell you what to do.

    And that … is what you can do.

    • March 30, 2010 12:08 pm

      Kinda weird how this thing put my March 30 entry right in the middle of lots of March 2 entries. πŸ˜•

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